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  • FIRST POST
    • Spittingmad
    • By Spittingmad 17th May 17, 7:31 PM
    • 2Posts
    • 3Thanks
    Spittingmad
    Suspended from work
    • #1
    • 17th May 17, 7:31 PM
    Suspended from work 17th May 17 at 7:31 PM
    Hi, my partner is currently suspended from work pending an investigation. Her terms of suspension prevent her from making contact with any colleague. I am being told that although I have a relationship outside of work with my partner and she works with me I am not allowed any contact with her nor is she with me. I tried to clarify this point given we cohabit and are due to go on holiday in 7 days time but the same answer was given.


    I feel this is an unreasonable condition to enforced given we are in a relationship. If I don't comply I could be disciplined further for non compliance as well she could also lose full pay while suspended.


    The other element of this is my partner is 5 weeks pregnant and the stress of this situation has possibly caused a miscarriage according to the GP.


    The suspension letter was worded in such a way that the suspension implies that the investigator has prejudged as it also details that my partner has been accused of a gross misconduct offence not just the allegations. Surely the investigation should determine the potential offences and the suspension should be a neutral act not imply guilt?


    My partner has been asked today by email to prove she is pregnant. Can they ask her to prove this, her GP stated they will not provide information until a later date and was shocked at the question. In addition why would this be relevant in a case where I the allegations are in relation to 'Obscene Behaviour' and 'serious breakdown in trust'? I feel that my partner is at serious risk being discriminated against if I answer the pregnancy question.


    Any advice would be much appreciated
Page 1
    • Takeaway_Addict
    • By Takeaway_Addict 17th May 17, 8:25 PM
    • 5,641 Posts
    • 6,434 Thanks
    Takeaway_Addict
    • #2
    • 17th May 17, 8:25 PM
    • #2
    • 17th May 17, 8:25 PM
    Hi, my partner is currently suspended from work pending an investigation. Her terms of suspension prevent her from making contact with any colleague. I am being told that although I have a relationship outside of work with my partner and she works with me I am not allowed any contact with her nor is she with me. I tried to clarify this point given we cohabit and are due to go on holiday in 7 days time but the same answer was given.


    I feel this is an unreasonable condition to enforced given we are in a relationship. If I don't comply I could be disciplined further for non compliance as well she could also lose full pay while suspended.


    The other element of this is my partner is 5 weeks pregnant and the stress of this situation has possibly caused a miscarriage according to the GP.


    The suspension letter was worded in such a way that the suspension implies that the investigator has prejudged as it also details that my partner has been accused of a gross misconduct offence not just the allegations. Surely the investigation should determine the potential offences and the suspension should be a neutral act not imply guilt?


    My partner has been asked today by email to prove she is pregnant. Can they ask her to prove this, her GP stated they will not provide information until a later date and was shocked at the question. In addition why would this be relevant in a case where I the allegations are in relation to 'Obscene Behaviour' and 'serious breakdown in trust'? I feel that my partner is at serious risk being discriminated against if I answer the pregnancy question.


    Any advice would be much appreciated
    Originally posted by Spittingmad
    You'll prob find that if she does say she is pregnant most employers would actually tread alot more carefully, some will of course go completely the other way.

    But its not an unreasonable question to ask if you're claiming the stress has caused a miscarriage? Should they just take your word on it?

    And it really depends on what she is being accused of. If it is of theft for example then its fine to say this could be gross misconduct if found guilty of the accusation. EDIT- Just reread the bottom, obscene behaviour could be GM so to state this I can't see an issue with.

    I can't see how the employer can enforce the no contact with someone the person suspended with lives with.
    Last edited by Takeaway_Addict; 17-05-2017 at 8:28 PM.
    Don't trust a forum for advice. Get proper paid advice. Any advice given should always be checked
    • xapprenticex
    • By xapprenticex 17th May 17, 8:29 PM
    • 1,273 Posts
    • 1,185 Thanks
    xapprenticex
    • #3
    • 17th May 17, 8:29 PM
    • #3
    • 17th May 17, 8:29 PM
    Sorry about the miscarriage.

    What did she do?
    • KrankieLad
    • By KrankieLad 17th May 17, 8:39 PM
    • 11 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    KrankieLad
    • #4
    • 17th May 17, 8:39 PM
    • #4
    • 17th May 17, 8:39 PM
    Sorry about the miscarriage.

    What did she do?
    Originally posted by xapprenticex
    I'm not sure we'll find out.
    • Tiddlywinks
    • By Tiddlywinks 17th May 17, 9:20 PM
    • 5,329 Posts
    • 18,470 Thanks
    Tiddlywinks
    • #5
    • 17th May 17, 9:20 PM
    • #5
    • 17th May 17, 9:20 PM
    The other element of this is my partner is 5 weeks pregnant and the stress of this situation has possibly caused a miscarriage according to the GP.

    My partner has been asked today by email to prove she is pregnant. Can they ask her to prove this, her GP stated they will not provide information until a later date and was shocked at the question.
    Originally posted by Spittingmad
    I'm struggling to accept that a GP would say that xxx happened as a direct result of work related stress.... that's just not something that a GP could back up.

    ! in 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage and often the cause is completely unknown. At 5 weeks there is no way the GP could give a reason.

    Please look here for information:

    https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/miscarriage-statistics

    You need to move away from this allegation for a number of reasons.... primarily as it will cause you bitterness to lay blame where it very probably doesn't belong (hence the employer's request for 'proof') and, secondly, because it will appear you are trying to deflect attention away from the investigation by waving unsubstantiated allegations around.
    • pioneer22
    • By pioneer22 17th May 17, 9:36 PM
    • 417 Posts
    • 155 Thanks
    pioneer22
    • #6
    • 17th May 17, 9:36 PM
    • #6
    • 17th May 17, 9:36 PM
    I'm struggling to accept that a GP would say that xxx happened as a direct result of work related stress.... that's just not something that a GP could back up.

    ! in 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage and often the cause is completely unknown. At 5 weeks there is no way the GP could give a reason.

    Please look here for information:

    https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/miscarriage-statistics

    You need to move away from this allegation for a number of reasons.... primarily as it will cause you bitterness to lay blame where it very probably doesn't belong (hence the employer's request for 'proof') and, secondly, because it will appear you are trying to deflect attention away from the investigation by waving unsubstantiated allegations around.
    Originally posted by Tiddlywinks
    Are you a doctor? A GP could say the stress is a likely cause of miscarriage......which it is when 9/10 women with increased cortisol levels miscarry.

    Cortisol does incredible things to the body
    • Tiddlywinks
    • By Tiddlywinks 17th May 17, 10:47 PM
    • 5,329 Posts
    • 18,470 Thanks
    Tiddlywinks
    • #7
    • 17th May 17, 10:47 PM
    • #7
    • 17th May 17, 10:47 PM
    A GP could say the stress is a likely cause of miscarriage......which it is when 9/10 women with increased cortisol levels miscarry.

    Cortisol does incredible things to the body
    Originally posted by pioneer22
    Raised levels of cortisol are natural during pregnancy. You are conflating two theories and mashing up stats... like saying that people with a heartbeat are likely to suffer a heart attack.

    Not wanting to go off-topic too much but there is no way a GP could evidence the cause of a 5 week pregnancy miscarriage without commissioning extensive tests.

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Miscarriage/Pages/Causes.aspx

    So, it would not be sensible to continue this accusation / assertion during the disciplinary process unless the GP is able to provide absolute proof.... anyway stats don't evidence cause in individual cases - you need expert opinion for that (particularly when making accusations of corporate culpability).

    Plus, is it really in the best interests of the OP's partner's mental wellbeing to go down this route?
    Last edited by Tiddlywinks; 17-05-2017 at 10:49 PM.
    • seashore22
    • By seashore22 18th May 17, 7:48 AM
    • 699 Posts
    • 1,430 Thanks
    seashore22
    • #8
    • 18th May 17, 7:48 AM
    • #8
    • 18th May 17, 7:48 AM
    Agreed.

    Early miscarriages are incredibly common and I suspect that it's only the sensitivity of early testing that makes women more aware of them. A doctor would be very foolish to ascribe such an event to stress.
    • TELLIT01
    • By TELLIT01 18th May 17, 8:09 AM
    • 4,122 Posts
    • 4,250 Thanks
    TELLIT01
    • #9
    • 18th May 17, 8:09 AM
    • #9
    • 18th May 17, 8:09 AM

    What did she do?
    Originally posted by xapprenticex
    Of absolutely no relevance to the questions posed by the OP.
    • tacpot12
    • By tacpot12 18th May 17, 8:26 AM
    • 738 Posts
    • 636 Thanks
    tacpot12
    Regarding not being allowed contact with your partner because they are also a colleague is unreasonable. If you employer wanted to put you up in a hotel and refund the cost of the holiday, that might be different. I would write a letter to HR confirming that you will have contact with your partner and will provide moral support to her but will not discuss any aspect of the investigation that includes your knowledge of the workplace. You need to put your partner first but try to respect your employer's needs at the same time.
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 18th May 17, 10:39 AM
    • 15,118 Posts
    • 14,764 Thanks
    Guest101
    Are you a doctor? A GP could say the stress is a likely cause of miscarriage......which it is when 9/10 women with increased cortisol levels miscarry.

    Cortisol does incredible things to the body
    Originally posted by pioneer22


    GPs would never state that the cause of X was Y without being able to prove it.


    Typically a GP could say: I believe that Y (e.g. stress) could have had a contributing factor to X (the miscarriage). However they would avoid saying that the stress was down to a particular situation (e.g. work)
    • camelot1971
    • By camelot1971 18th May 17, 11:29 AM
    • 492 Posts
    • 763 Thanks
    camelot1971
    OP is a troll - an employer saying you aren't allowed to talk to your partner you live with because you work together and they are suspended? Yeah right.
    • seashore22
    • By seashore22 18th May 17, 11:32 AM
    • 699 Posts
    • 1,430 Thanks
    seashore22
    OP is a troll - an employer saying you aren't allowed to talk to your partner you live with because you work together and they are suspended? Yeah right.
    Originally posted by camelot1971
    Tend to agree - lots of unlikely facts.
    • Ronaldo Mconaldo
    • By Ronaldo Mconaldo 18th May 17, 12:17 PM
    • 4,983 Posts
    • 5,211 Thanks
    Ronaldo Mconaldo
    An obscene act? This fairt tale is great. What happened next?
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 18th May 17, 1:14 PM
    • 1,672 Posts
    • 3,455 Thanks
    IAmWales
    An obscene act? This fairt tale is great. What happened next?
    Originally posted by Ronaldo Mconaldo
    Apparently a baby!

    OP if you are genuine then I'm sorry to hear your girlfriend may be having a miscarriage. It would be impossible to say if work stress caused it so do not accuse the employer of this, it will not help your girlfriend's situation. Focus on supporting her through her loss, not on spurious accusations.
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 18th May 17, 1:32 PM
    • 3,655 Posts
    • 6,286 Thanks
    avogadro
    Of course the employer can't demand that a husband and wife (or commonlaw) don't have any contact with each other. What would they want the OP to do, move out of the house? It does seem an unlikely scenario.
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 18th May 17, 2:15 PM
    • 1,300 Posts
    • 1,323 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    Doesn't sound realistic to expect you not to be in contact if you live together! Its probably just a standard letter you received. Re the pregnancy, it's true they might be more careful to follow things properly as discrimination because of pregnancy could backfire on them. I'm not a medical person but if a miscarriage has happened and I'm so sorry if it has, it would be very hard to prove why. Some figures suggest as many as 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage most before the woman even knows she is pregnant.
    Its hard to wait but try to sit tight and take each step as it comes.
    • Undervalued
    • By Undervalued 18th May 17, 2:52 PM
    • 3,175 Posts
    • 2,893 Thanks
    Undervalued
    Are you a doctor? A GP could say the stress is a likely cause of miscarriage......which it is when 9/10 women with increased cortisol levels miscarry.

    Cortisol does incredible things to the body
    Originally posted by pioneer22
    Yes, but the GP doesn't know there has been any stress at work. All he knows is that the patient says there has been. The GP can assess the patient's health, provide treatment and certify that she is sick. He may be able to say that stress is the most likely cause but he cannot say, for certain, what has caused the stress. For all he knows the work situation could be idyllic, the actual cause is domestic and it is all an attempt to get compensation!
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 18th May 17, 4:22 PM
    • 16,088 Posts
    • 39,962 Thanks
    FBaby
    Considering the commonality of early miscarriages and the fact that in many cases they are due to genetic factors I can't imagine any competent GP stating that a miscarriage at 5 weeks was caused by stress even implying that it was likely so.
    • honeypop
    • By honeypop 18th May 17, 5:00 PM
    • 1,451 Posts
    • 2,208 Thanks
    honeypop
    her GP stated they will not provide information until a later date and was shocked at the question.
    Originally posted by Spittingmad
    Aside from all the other stuff, I'm surprised at this - some occupations need GP confirmation of a women being pregnant as soon as the women finds out, for H&S reasons (sometimes if the job is manual or dangerous etc), and so GP's must be used to providing early confirmation in some circumstances. Although there's usually a charge for them to write the letter.
    DS1 June 2009
    DS2 Feb 2011
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