Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • englishrosie
    • By englishrosie 17th May 17, 10:27 AM
    • 6Posts
    • 8Thanks
    englishrosie
    Buying house with Boyfriend but only his name on the mortgage...how can I protect me?
    • #1
    • 17th May 17, 10:27 AM
    Buying house with Boyfriend but only his name on the mortgage...how can I protect me? 17th May 17 at 10:27 AM
    Hi All,

    Me and my partner are moving into a new build house together. I am self employed and have been so for under a year, so when we went for the mortgage we had to do it in his name only.

    Although I am not worried about our relationship, I know from past experience in a long term relationship that this may not always be the case. I just want to know if I can and how protect my interests in the house should we ever split up.

    I am giving money towards the deposit, although not officially because the solicitor said if i contribute I have to write a gifting letter stating no claim to the house. My partner just scraped through getting the mortgage for just him stating his son will be living there. But myself my 2 children and his other daughter will also be moving in once he gets the house. So I have just put the funds into his bank account from mine. My contribution will be around £5000 His is larger as he got some inheritance from his Nan's passing so he'll be putting in around £26000.

    The finishing touches on our new build have also been put onto my credit card totaling £3500.
    Which we will clear off together. We both put into the bills 50/50 and will in the new house including the mortgage. We are not married or engaged as yet although hope to be in the future, but I need to know I'd be protected somehow should it go south. Not just for me or even my daughter who is 20 now, but mostly for my disabled son.

    Any advicewould be greatly appreciated
Page 3
    • cashbackproblems
    • By cashbackproblems 18th May 17, 3:45 PM
    • 1,648 Posts
    • 631 Thanks
    cashbackproblems
    Lack of response from the OP would indicate that she's not getting the responses she was hoping for...


    A fairly common phenomenon IME
    Originally posted by jackieblack
    Yes a typical money grabber wants full entitlement but putting in a piddly 5k. Guys are getting smart to this now and not marrying unless the female is financially equal as they lose out otherwise in divorce
    • DarkShadow
    • By DarkShadow 18th May 17, 4:13 PM
    • 142 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    DarkShadow
    Did OP get married?
    Bank accounts
    Santander : 14 year relationship, 0 problems to date.
    • meer53
    • By meer53 18th May 17, 4:35 PM
    • 8,739 Posts
    • 12,690 Thanks
    meer53
    Did OP get married?
    Originally posted by DarkShadow
    Since yesterday ? Doubt it.
    • Pixie5740
    • By Pixie5740 18th May 17, 5:16 PM
    • 10,400 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    Pixie5740
    Yes a typical money grabber wants full entitlement but putting in a piddly 5k. Guys are getting smart to this now and not marrying unless the female is financially equal as they lose out otherwise in divorce
    Originally posted by cashbackproblems
    Where did the OP say she wanted full entitlement to the property? What's that? Nowhere. All the OP asked was how to protect her interest in the property but the answer is that she can't. She will have to waive her protection in order to give her boyfriend £5k to buy a property he could not otherwise afford. Then there's the £3.5k extras for his house paid for using her credit card as well as her contributing towards the capital repayments of his mortgage each month.

    It's sad that you seem to think only in monetary terms when defining equals in a marriage.
    Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery.
    • pearl123
    • By pearl123 18th May 17, 10:37 PM
    • 1,082 Posts
    • 1,633 Thanks
    pearl123
    If your name is not on the mortgage you get nothing, however if he goes bankrupt you won't be tied in with him either!
    • englishrosie
    • By englishrosie 18th May 17, 11:24 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    englishrosie
    Thank you for all the help guys, I sat down and talked with my partner about our future plans....probably should have been my first port of call! But we'd planned to change the mortgage in 2 years anyway and at that point I will be put on His credit score will increase significantly and mines already good....add my 2 r tax returns in and we should be good

    Based on affordability is why the adviser put me down as not living there. Despite putting down a hefty deposit my partners credit score was very low, if I was on the mortgage we wouldn't have got it, and we'd have lost or dream house in a perfect location for our family.

    It is so difficult to get a mortgage these days and get on the property ladder I should be glad we have finally done it. Think my baggage from previous relationships kicked in a little and I panicked.

    I know some think that were only boyfriend/girlfriend and not married so I shouldnt have an issue but we have been together over 7 years but the only reason we haven't go round to a legal commitment is because we had a lot of illness and deaths happen in those years and it just hasn't been a high priority The money he was left was specifically as a deposit for him to buy US a house.

    I know some things we've been advised by our broker might be dubious/law breaking etc....but we can more than afford the mortgage and wont fall behind on any payments....sometimes you have to slip into the grey areas now again to achieve your goal. Were not ripping anyone off and the mortgage will always be paid...so no harm no foul

    Once again though thank you to everyone that replied and all the advice xxx
    • englishrosie
    • By englishrosie 18th May 17, 11:29 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    englishrosie
    "Yes a typical money grabber wants full entitlement but putting in a piddly 5k. Guys are getting smart to this now and not marrying unless the female is financially equal as they lose out otherwise in divorce"

    I think someone is a tad jaded lol Just as a point during our 7+ years together my partner had to leave his job. I supported him and his 3 children for quite some time and have helped him clear his debts....I didnt keep a tab but I'm pretty sure the total cost would add up!

    Lets try not to put everyone in the same box
    Last edited by englishrosie; 18-05-2017 at 11:31 PM. Reason: add quote
    • englishrosie
    • By englishrosie 18th May 17, 11:39 PM
    • 6 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    englishrosie
    Lack of response from the OP would indicate that she's not getting the responses she was hoping for...


    A fairly common phenomenon IME
    Originally posted by jackieblack
    Sorry got swamped at work, daughter came home from Uni, not had a chance to get back online. But I do appreciated all the responses, even if they weren't what I hoped for (Well except the all woman are money grabbers one lol). Luckily it has led me to have a proper talk with my partner and sort the whole thing out
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 19th May 17, 12:04 AM
    • 2,358 Posts
    • 5,104 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    Sorry got swamped at work, daughter came home from Uni, not had a chance to get back online. But I do appreciated all the responses, even if they weren't what I hoped for (Well except the all woman are money grabbers one lol). Luckily it has led me to have a proper talk with my partner and sort the whole thing out
    Originally posted by englishrosie
    Sorry but you haven't.

    If you do what you plan to do, you'll be running the risk of him kicking you out at any point with no legal comeback.

    Words are all very well but unless you've got something you can take into court, should the worst happen they don't mean a thing.

    I guess though you know what you're doing.
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - the Argos Card!
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 19th May 17, 10:01 AM
    • 27,622 Posts
    • 70,164 Thanks
    Mojisola
    I know some think that were only boyfriend/girlfriend and not married so I shouldnt have an issue but we have been together over 7 years but the only reason we haven't go round to a legal commitment is because we had a lot of illness and deaths happen in those years and it just hasn't been a high priority
    Originally posted by englishrosie
    That's a reason not to have a big wedding - it's not a good reason to put off getting married.

    Do it now - the two of you at your local register office - and have a big party at some time in the future.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 19th May 17, 10:25 AM
    • 2,214 Posts
    • 3,071 Thanks
    Malthusian
    Yes a typical money grabber wants full entitlement but putting in a piddly 5k. Guys are getting smart to this now and not marrying unless the female is financially equal as they lose out otherwise in divorce
    Originally posted by cashbackproblems
    If a man refuses to countenance marrying anyone who is not "financially equal" it's not the woman who is the money grabber.

    The men who "lose out" from divorce are those who think they can have their cake and eat it, i.e. get the tax and social benefits of marriage but not have to pay the cost. Who want to be treated as one unit for as long as it suits them and they get free childcare and extra tax allowances but as a separate individual as soon as it doesn't. Doesn't work that way.
    • davidwood123
    • By davidwood123 19th May 17, 11:20 AM
    • 352 Posts
    • 814 Thanks
    davidwood123
    If a man refuses to countenance marrying anyone who is not "financially equal" it's not the woman who is the money grabber.

    The men who "lose out" from divorce are those who think they can have their cake and eat it, i.e. get the tax and social benefits of marriage but not have to pay the cost. Who want to be treated as one unit for as long as it suits them and they get free childcare and extra tax allowances but as a separate individual as soon as it doesn't. Doesn't work that way.
    Originally posted by Malthusian
    When it comes to divorce and parental rights, men are treated as second class citizens
    • pinkteapot
    • By pinkteapot 19th May 17, 12:25 PM
    • 6,155 Posts
    • 7,922 Thanks
    pinkteapot
    Based on affordability is why the adviser put me down as not living there.
    Originally posted by englishrosie
    This adviser should be sacked.

    The correct way to do it is to NOT lie on the mortgage application. To have both names on deeds and mortgage, and to have you on the application. During the purchase process, your solicitor can draw up a deed of trust that would protect you in the way you want.

    This adviser's ridiculous advice means you can't do that.
    Last edited by pinkteapot; 19-05-2017 at 12:28 PM.
    • poppy10
    • By poppy10 20th May 17, 2:39 PM
    • 5,865 Posts
    • 7,109 Thanks
    poppy10
    I am giving money towards the deposit, although not officially
    Originally posted by englishrosie
    Based on affordability is why the adviser put me down as not living there.
    Originally posted by englishrosie
    Your mortgage adviser is a fraudster, and is making you complicit in mortgage fraud. Getting your £8500 back is the least of your worries
    This post is sponsored by MoneySupermarket
    • cashbackproblems
    • By cashbackproblems 20th May 17, 10:50 PM
    • 1,648 Posts
    • 631 Thanks
    cashbackproblems
    "Yes a typical money grabber wants full entitlement but putting in a piddly 5k. Guys are getting smart to this now and not marrying unless the female is financially equal as they lose out otherwise in divorce"

    I think someone is a tad jaded lol Just as a point during our 7+ years together my partner had to leave his job. I supported him and his 3 children for quite some time and have helped him clear his debts....I didnt keep a tab but I'm pretty sure the total cost would add up!

    Lets try not to put everyone in the same box
    Originally posted by englishrosie
    Jaded? Its your bf who needs to be on his toes!! Your credit issues are your own and currently you are not on an equal financial footing to him so its not in his interests to buy with you

    Many people now are buying with a agreement of who owns what share in case of seperation due to high house prices
    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 20th May 17, 11:43 PM
    • 442 Posts
    • 705 Thanks
    goodwithsaving
    'Put you on the mortgage on 2 years'. That's if you are together in two years. I'm sorry, but we all go into these things thinking of sunshine and rainbows when taking on the responsibility together can cause change for the worse.

    To put up money into something, sign it away and work on hope is complete madness. To have a financial advisor ADVISING this is even more bizarre.

    What you've put in isn't much in terms of overall life funds, but certainly don't go ploughing any further chunks of money into this. Protect yourself.
    Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self. –Nathan W. Morris
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 21st May 17, 12:21 AM
    • 3,558 Posts
    • 6,215 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I don't really understand why you could not have your name on the deeds and the mortgage. Even if they cannot take your income into account due to only being self employed this should not affect the amount offered unless you have a lot of debt which will cause problems on the affordability criteria. At the very least you should be making wills saying a percentage of the house should go to you if anything happens to your boyfriend.
    Debt and mortgage free and saving for early retirement
    • pphillips
    • By pphillips 21st May 17, 12:54 AM
    • 189 Posts
    • 147 Thanks
    pphillips
    If you're not on the deeds and you're not going to get married then at least get a contract drawn up that you and your boyfriend can both sign that states what you both agree is your beneficial interest in the property.
    • TomTomTomTom
    • By TomTomTomTom 21st May 17, 2:31 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    TomTomTomTom
    Get him to sign something saying he recognises the money received as a contribution to the house.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 21st May 17, 3:01 PM
    • 27,622 Posts
    • 70,164 Thanks
    Mojisola
    If you're not on the deeds and you're not going to get married then at least get a contract drawn up that you and your boyfriend can both sign that states what you both agree is your beneficial interest in the property.
    Originally posted by pphillips
    If your BF really cares about you, he would be completely on-board with you securing your contribution. If he isn't, I'd be a bit concerned.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,977Posts Today

9,092Users online

Martin's Twitter