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  • FIRST POST
    • DarkShadow
    • By DarkShadow 16th May 17, 6:41 PM
    • 142Posts
    • 60Thanks
    DarkShadow
    Forced parenthood
    • #1
    • 16th May 17, 6:41 PM
    Forced parenthood 16th May 17 at 6:41 PM
    How do you define forced parenthood in your own terms?
    Bank accounts
    Santander : 14 year relationship, 0 problems to date.
Page 1
    • Alikay
    • By Alikay 16th May 17, 7:35 PM
    • 4,588 Posts
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    Alikay
    • #2
    • 16th May 17, 7:35 PM
    • #2
    • 16th May 17, 7:35 PM
    Being raped and forced to go through with a resulting pregnancy for a female, being raped or sexually assaulted for sperm collection for a male. Oh, and medical procedures resulting in unwanted impregnation or sperm collection. Anything involving consensual sex carries a risk of pregnancy and/or parenthood IMO.

    I guess stealing a semen-filled condom and using the contents could also result in forced parenthood, but it fairly unlikely (think I've read about something like that in Take A Break though!), as would stealing and using a sperm sample given for medical/DNA testing. Why?
    • jamiehelsinki
    • By jamiehelsinki 16th May 17, 8:45 PM
    • 87 Posts
    • 113 Thanks
    jamiehelsinki
    • #3
    • 16th May 17, 8:45 PM
    • #3
    • 16th May 17, 8:45 PM
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.
    • Alikay
    • By Alikay 16th May 17, 9:07 PM
    • 4,588 Posts
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    Alikay
    • #4
    • 16th May 17, 9:07 PM
    • #4
    • 16th May 17, 9:07 PM
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.
    Originally posted by jamiehelsinki
    That's no different from a man saying he's had a vasectomy when he hasn't: A massive breach of trust and totally unacceptable, of course but not really "forced parenthood" as we all know that contraception can fail, and take that chance when we choose to have sex. If both partners take responsibility for their own fertility and both use contraception, the chance is minimised though theoretically still possible.
    • barbarawright
    • By barbarawright 16th May 17, 9:10 PM
    • 1,655 Posts
    • 3,168 Thanks
    barbarawright
    • #5
    • 16th May 17, 9:10 PM
    • #5
    • 16th May 17, 9:10 PM
    Why are you asking these odd questions?
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 16th May 17, 9:28 PM
    • 15,088 Posts
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    pinkshoes
    • #6
    • 16th May 17, 9:28 PM
    • #6
    • 16th May 17, 9:28 PM
    What an odd question!

    As no contraception method is 100% reliable then the only method of forced parenthood would be through rape.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 16th May 17, 9:57 PM
    • 12,099 Posts
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    zagfles
    • #7
    • 16th May 17, 9:57 PM
    • #7
    • 16th May 17, 9:57 PM
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.
    Originally posted by jamiehelsinki
    Some silly woman tried doing this to a friend of mine. He was mid forties, 3 kids, just divorced, had had a vasectomy. Met her through a dating site, she was mid twenties (!).

    First date he thought was awkward and wouldn't go anywhere but she invited him back to hers for a coffee and they ended up in the bedroom. He'd come prepared and got his packet of condoms out and said something like "don't want to get you pregnant" (rather than "don't want to catch anything" which he thought would have killed the mood!)

    But she said "no need, I'm on the pill". So having already said he'd got the condoms out to protect against pregnancy he couldn't really now give the real reason he wanted to use one. Plus his brains were likely well in his pants at that stage!

    They carried on seeing each other for a few weeks, he thought she was a bit weird, she never introduced him to her friends or family, didn't want to meet his, he thought their dates were strained, there didn't seem to be a spark. But she was very keen on sex so that suited him at the time. He also enjoyed rubbing his ex's nose in it and arranged "accidental" bumping into the ex when on dates with a much younger prettier woman

    Once when she was in the shower he decided to have a look at her phone, it was locked but he'd seen her code, as he knew hardly anything about her, she seemed very secretive, and found this long conversation with a friend in which is was obvious she was trying to get pregnant!

    He carried on seeing her for a while for obvious reasons, even though it was now blatently obvious to him she only wanted him to get her pregnant, she wasn't interested in anything else. He has a very well paid job which might have had something to do with it!

    Eventually he decided he needed to try meeting someone genuine, so he ditched her. He never told her about the vasectomy - I really wanted him to tell her as he ditched her but he chickened out!
    • -taff
    • By -taff 16th May 17, 10:08 PM
    • 7,244 Posts
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    -taff
    • #8
    • 16th May 17, 10:08 PM
    • #8
    • 16th May 17, 10:08 PM
    Got an essay to write?
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 16th May 17, 10:51 PM
    • 1,495 Posts
    • 4,029 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    • #9
    • 16th May 17, 10:51 PM
    • #9
    • 16th May 17, 10:51 PM
    But she said "no need, I'm on the pill". So having already said he'd got the condoms out to protect against pregnancy he couldn't really now give the real reason he wanted to use one.
    Originally posted by zagfles
    What an idiot! What kind of grown adult doesn't use a condom for such a stupid reason?
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 17th May 17, 7:35 AM
    • 1,076 Posts
    • 1,097 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    I'd say rape then forcing the woman to keep the baby or if someone says they are using contraception but are not - however in the last case that's questionable! Its every persons responsibility to protect themselves. Could be complicated if its a trusted long term relationship and the woman stopped contraception without saying....
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 17th May 17, 8:53 AM
    • 12,099 Posts
    • 10,045 Thanks
    zagfles
    What an idiot! What kind of grown adult doesn't use a condom for such a stupid reason?
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    Pretty much what I told him when he told me the story! But not as big an idiot as the woman of course!
    • mai_taylor
    • By mai_taylor 17th May 17, 3:41 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 382 Thanks
    mai_taylor
    Pretty much what I told him when he told me the story! But not as big an idiot as the woman of course!
    Originally posted by zagfles
    He lied to her, used her for sex and snooped through her phone, don't really think he can take the moral high ground on this one.
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 17th May 17, 4:22 PM
    • 14,625 Posts
    • 14,349 Thanks
    Guest101
    He lied to her, used her for sex and snooped through her phone, don't really think he can take the moral high ground on this one.
    Originally posted by mai_taylor


    As opposed to lying and trying to get pregnant when clearly the other partner didn't want it?


    I'm sure she felt very 'used' for sex, bearing in mind she was using sex to try get a baby....
    • gycraig
    • By gycraig 17th May 17, 4:22 PM
    • 351 Posts
    • 249 Thanks
    gycraig
    He lied to her, used her for sex and snooped through her phone, don't really think he can take the moral high ground on this one.
    Originally posted by mai_taylor
    It's not even remotely comparable, hurt feelings aren't even remotely the same as lying to someone to try get them to produce a child / child support they don't want
    • IAmWales
    • By IAmWales 17th May 17, 4:32 PM
    • 960 Posts
    • 2,108 Thanks
    IAmWales
    It's not even remotely comparable, hurt feelings aren't even remotely the same as lying to someone to try get them to produce a child / child support they don't want
    Originally posted by gycraig
    Both were liars, both took risks far worse than pregnancy.

    A pair of f*ckless idiots that deserved each other.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 17th May 17, 4:34 PM
    • 13,096 Posts
    • 35,868 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    How do you define forced parenthood in your own terms?
    Originally posted by DarkShadow
    Parenthood that hasnt been thought about/agreed to/planned by both parties concerned.
    ploughing my own furrow...

    They have lessons in schools these days on resisting peer pressure
    • mai_taylor
    • By mai_taylor 17th May 17, 4:42 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 382 Thanks
    mai_taylor
    As opposed to lying and trying to get pregnant when clearly the other partner didn't want it?


    I'm sure she felt very 'used' for sex, bearing in mind she was using sex to try get a baby....
    Originally posted by Guest101
    Oh I agree both sound like horrible people.
    • wannabe sybil
    • By wannabe sybil 17th May 17, 5:41 PM
    • 2,728 Posts
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    wannabe sybil
    Isn't there something called 'stealthing' where a gentleman tries to fool the lady that he's using a condom but takes it off during/just before?

    OP - reproductive coercion also happens. That is when someone (usually female) is forced into parenthood due to verbal/financial/emotional/physical abuse and options for birth control are restricted or removed.
    Ankh Morpork Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons - don't let my flame go out!
    • phillw
    • By phillw 17th May 17, 5:59 PM
    • 672 Posts
    • 336 Thanks
    phillw
    Isn't there something called 'stealthing' where a gentleman tries to fool the lady that he's using a condom but takes it off during/just before?
    Originally posted by wannabe sybil
    Can women really not tell?
    • Kate/Bob
    • By Kate/Bob 17th May 17, 6:13 PM
    • 1,611 Posts
    • 5,226 Thanks
    Kate/Bob
    Can women really not tell?
    Originally posted by phillw
    While it's sensitive down there, it's not that sensitive with modern condoms that are designed to not to be felt.
    Kate short for Bob.

    Alphabet thread High Priestess of all things unsavoury

    Tesla was a genius.
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