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  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Page 54
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 16th Jul 17, 12:07 AM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you.

    Charlies apparently they said I will get some help to rent/ct hard to believe really I've not included it yet though because I don't know how it will be when they realise he can't be taken off the tenancy etc until the court order is paid.

    There's obviously no big fine in that SOA either as that's his.

    There's also no TV/BB. Something I'll look at getting I think, I didn't realise how much I actually record and watch later plus the kids use Netflix a lot so will use my phone internet in no time. Something I'll look into and think about hence not cancelling the TV license.
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 16th Jul 17, 12:20 AM
    • 423 Posts
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    charlies tribe
    Have a play about with the turn2us calculator. It'll give you a rough idea. I just had a play with it as 1 person with 3 children but you'll have better figures to input. At least then you'll have an idea from now and once you start work.
    I'm sure my sister was took off her tenancy with debt as long as it was still being paid but when she went for another house she couldn't bid until the debt was fully cleared. I'm not certain though.
    Will there be any chance of him helping to pay half the debt?
    LBM-March 17 £2861/£33554 (8.5%) paid
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 16th Jul 17, 7:45 AM
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    pennywisepoundstupid
    Morning HI, hope you got a good nights sleep.

    Sending you and the little ones lots of hugs, You are one strong lady, a fantastic mum and a beautiful, amazing person, you are going to be just fine.x.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Save for summer £500/£500
    EXTRA DEBT PAYMENT AUGUST -MBNA£1000/£373
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 16th Jul 17, 8:30 AM
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    Purplemumof2
    Morning HI,

    Hope you got some sleep last night.

    Your SOA looks good xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7400.00 Cap 1: £562.23 BC: £4577.81 Overdraft: £2750.00

    AFD 5/10 NSD 2/10 LTW 10/15

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 16th Jul 17, 8:38 AM
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    Eager_Elephant
    I agree with charliestribe - if OH has definitely left and is not returning then you need to change your Tax Credits to a single claim and then claim Income Support/Housing Benefit/Council Tax Benefit asap.

    You can have Housing Benefit even if the tenancy is in joint names and one party has left so don't worry about that.

    My concern is that as his name is on the tenancy he can just return when he likes - not sure what arrangements you will make for the kids seeing him (if they want to and you have split up) but it may be worth seeing a solicitor for an occupation order which is a court order which states who can live at the property and is in force for a year.

    I worry that he will come and go as he pleases, will have his post still sent there and then you get investigated by compliance (Tax Credits access Experian and can see who has there bank, car insurance, mobiles etc at certain addresses)
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 20 for August
    NSD - 0/18
    (up to 01/09/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 16th Jul 17, 9:16 AM
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    Hiddenidenity
    I have spoken to tax credits and they've ended my claim and started a new one. I'm not sure about income support etc? Because I'll be starting work in September, I will arrange to see CAB asap.

    He has changed his address with his bank etc to where he's now living, not sure about contact or where it will be. He has been coming here to see them (well once) but maybe we will arrange it for at my mums.

    I don't know yet everythings up in the air.
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 16th Jul 17, 10:22 AM
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    Toni'sfriend
    Morning, Hidden. Hope you and the little ones are well.
    Wise advice, as ever, from EE. Can you get an urgent appointment with CAB for advice on income support, etc as I doubt you'll see much money from him given his past history. Re his fine, would it be a good idea to actually phone whoever it is paid to to let them know that he no longer stays at your address, You don't want them chasing you for it.
    Like EE I also worry that he'll think he can still come and go as he pleases so seeing the children somewhere neutral like your Mum's is probably a good idea. Do you think she'll agree - I don't think she's his biggest fan!
    You really are doing so well and now that you're in control you will see a huge improvement in your situation. It may take a little bit of time but you will get there.
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 16th Jul 17, 10:42 AM
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    UncannyScot
    It is possible to get urgent/emergency appointments with my local CAB as their booking system enables them to prioritise cases. It may be that your local CAB uses a similar system.
    I'm pretty sure as well that you can get his name of the tenancy agreement, regardless of the fine, due to extenuating circumstances... if you think that the safety of yourself and the children is compromised or threatened in any way, for example
    My advice is keep him away from your home and arrange as much as possible a neutral place to meet and spend time with the kids. I'm sure you said that he no longer has PR for them, so he cannot force you to arrange for this in any way if you feel that it is not good for the kids; you have responsibility for the kids and he has no say in anything to do with them whatsoever.
    I know there are slight differences between Scots and English laws, so this is my understanding of how it works, might not be right though...
    You are doing great missus (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 16th Jul 17, 11:43 AM
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    Hiddenidenity
    I will try to get it all worked out on Monday, have a few places I need to speak to etc.

    Today has been catching up on things to make the week easier.

    Kids want a roast, so chicken it is Maybe I'll sit and have dinner with them. It's ready to go on, and I'll use the leftovers into curry, then salads/pasta/sandwich filling and the really last into soup.

    I'm waiting for the Tennis Final and the smalls are making teacher cards and boxes.

    We actually have a really quiet week, no appointments and the last week of term should mean not much drama from school.
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 16th Jul 17, 11:48 AM
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    Toni'sfriend
    We're having roast chicken too if it ever defrosts!
    That all sounds good, You are a very organized person and seem to be on top of everything.
    Enjoy the tennis, have a relaxing day and, most of all, look after yourself.
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 16th Jul 17, 12:01 PM
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    Suffolk lass
    Have you got a diary yet for free things to do with the children over the summer holidays - I saw your post re museums on Treadingonplaymobil's thread and I wondered if you had put in any date specific diary dates yet for the holidays?
    MFiT T4 #2 update 31.2% after Q6
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    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 61.61/66.66% including stores after July
    My DFD is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5593594
    • XSpender
    • By XSpender 16th Jul 17, 12:18 PM
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    XSpender
    No advice to give but wanted to say I am impressed with the progress you have made as you enter the next stage of your life with the kids.

    We were having roast chicken too but the chicken I defrosted last night stinks to high heaven this morning
    PAYDBX 2017 #99 from 4/5 - £2664.28/£10,000 26.6%
    Total Owed £39,547.78 May '17 Total owed July 17 £36883.50 Savings goal £1000 EF - £400
    DFD - May 2021 goal Feb 2020
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 16th Jul 17, 12:45 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Chicken is popular today then

    Formula 1 and Tennis is on at the same time. I need to avoid the news to see the results until I've caught up. First world problems obviously
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 16th Jul 17, 1:06 PM
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    Eager_Elephant
    Sloven reporting in

    What is this defrosting you all speak of?

    I just cook my chicken from frozen

    I buy fresh, freeze when I get home and then about 3pm on Sundays I get it out of the freezer and cook it on 160 for a few hours - its tastes fine
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 20 for August
    NSD - 0/18
    (up to 01/09/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 16th Jul 17, 1:26 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Sloven reporting in

    What is this defrosting you all speak of?

    I just cook my chicken from frozen

    I buy fresh, freeze when I get home and then about 3pm on Sundays I get it out of the freezer and cook it on 160 for a few hours - its tastes fine
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    really? I've never cooked anything from frozen Am I doing it wrong
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 16th Jul 17, 1:36 PM
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    Toni'sfriend
    Me neither. I thought you got food poisoning. Oh well, I'll not worry too much if it isn't properly defrosted.
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 16th Jul 17, 2:24 PM
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    Eager_Elephant
    Well I have been cooking from frozen for years and no one has died yet - the key is to do it on a slightly lower heat than normal otherwise the top looks cooked and the middle isn't.

    I even cook pork joints from frozen and they are a lot denser than chicken!! Obviously they take a lot longer but so much easier than having to defrost everything.

    Am I also allowed to admit here that I cook mince from frozen, I buy fresh and freeze and when needed I just get it out of the freezer and cook from frozen - it does involve a bit of turning over of the large mince slab but comes out lovely.

    I try to only shop monthly so I buy enough meat for the month hence everything is frozen.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 20 for August
    NSD - 0/18
    (up to 01/09/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 16th Jul 17, 2:31 PM
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    Toni'sfriend
    I confess. I do mince from frozen as well.
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 16th Jul 17, 2:31 PM
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    UncannyScot
    What EE says above ^^^^
    I tend to do this too.
    Sometimes, I will buy frozen from Iceland or Farmfoods, but the same rules apply for cooking, take it slow to make sure it is cooked right through.
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 16th Jul 17, 2:42 PM
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    charlies tribe
    Ive always thought you couldnt cook from frozen, not sure why when you can buy it all already frozen, but would save us a fortune. Quiet often i realise late afternoon that I never took anything out for dinner so we end up with something completely unplanned.
    LBM-March 17 £2861/£33554 (8.5%) paid
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