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  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    • 5,328Posts
    • 26,196Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Page 48
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 7th Jul 17, 4:20 PM
    • 5,621 Posts
    • 17,938 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Afternoon HI,

    Wow the job sounds ideal , fingers crossed it works out for you xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £6936.45 - 04/09/17 - 70.99% paid off
    • emmie26
    • By emmie26 7th Jul 17, 4:25 PM
    • 491 Posts
    • 1,871 Thanks
    emmie26
    Sounds ideal and every little helps. More than anything I love my job for the banter I have with colleagues, I find it lifts my mood having a laugh and I work in a super serious, some would say depressing, field. Hopefully it will help with your MH as well. Fingers crossed for you xx

    Total Debt: £24,359.79 £19,963
    debt reduced by 18%
    Debt free date: May 2019
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 7th Jul 17, 4:34 PM
    • 5,328 Posts
    • 26,196 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    All is well on Job front, they understand O still has appointments etc but no where near as many unplanned long hospital stays as when I was there before.

    There's 2 places coming up one starting for the last week of this term - ongoing from September, 24 hour contract, 24 hours work term time.

    One available October - ongoing 16 hour contract - working 24 hours term time.

    There's also just the casual contract of 10 hours, working the 24 hours term time option.

    It's basically going back to the school I was at before I had youngest and her health issues, I left because I felt I couldn't but 100% in with what was going on at home, along with the time off and feeling like I was letting the team down etc.
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 07-07-2017 at 4:36 PM.
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 7th Jul 17, 5:03 PM
    • 545 Posts
    • 2,873 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Brilliant Hidden! Which contract would you prefer to do?
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's October 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £10,225.95 / MBNA £3301.93 / Barclaycard £9961.04/ Lloyds £3489.16 / Tesco 1 £897.50/ Tesco 2 £2327.82

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 7th Jul 17, 5:42 PM
    • 512 Posts
    • 1,750 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Sounds an ideal job opportunity. Will the job involve any writing of learning journeys in your own time or would that be factored into the contracted hours? Could all be online based of course!
    Term time work is great for fitting in with your own children.
    paydbx #90 £475/£10,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3206 in Oct 17
    • DaringToDream
    • By DaringToDream 7th Jul 17, 5:51 PM
    • 157 Posts
    • 462 Thanks
    DaringToDream
    That's great news about the job hidden, and great news about the different contracts available so you can choose the one that suits you best- fab news!
    Total Debt Paid: £316.12 / £16062.60 (1.96% debt gone)
    Holiday fund £1400/ £1400
    Holiday Spends £0/ £250
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 7th Jul 17, 6:15 PM
    • 4,361 Posts
    • 13,231 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Fantastic news about the job, fingers crossed it all works out.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 7th Jul 17, 6:16 PM
    • 5,328 Posts
    • 26,196 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I'm not 100% sure what to do.

    OH doesn't want me to take any so I'm going to discuss it with my mum when I see her Sunday.
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 7th Jul 17, 6:36 PM
    • 4,361 Posts
    • 13,231 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    I'm not 100% sure what to do.

    OH doesn't want me to take any so I'm going to discuss it with my mum when I see her Sunday.
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Of course he doesn't. A job of your own means independence and more control over your life and needing him less.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 7th Jul 17, 8:35 PM
    • 831 Posts
    • 4,190 Thanks
    UncannyScot
    Of course he doesn't. A job of your own means independence and more control over your life and needing him less.
    Originally posted by pennywisepoundstupid
    Exactly, what I were thinking...

    Please, take the job and at the contracted hours that suits you and the wee ones and the hell with him...
    Your doing it for you and your kids. Your future and theirs...
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 7th Jul 17, 8:42 PM
    • 5,328 Posts
    • 26,196 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I guess there is a lot to think about though, some of his points I guess are right but some are selfish!

    Tennis is providing me with tonights TV. Along with a few shouting at the TV
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 7th Jul 17, 11:00 PM
    • 942 Posts
    • 8,757 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Have to agree with everyone else. This is all about control. Do what is best for you and the children. The more independent you are the better
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Jul 17, 11:31 PM
    • 4,691 Posts
    • 8,808 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I would have to agree with the others. If your OH does not want you to take that job it is because he wants you dependent on him. Think of yours and your kids futures.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • tori.k
    • By tori.k 8th Jul 17, 8:48 AM
    • 2,897 Posts
    • 6,519 Thanks
    tori.k
    Congratulations on the new job,
    As hard as it will be for everyone to settle into a new routine at first, they soon will. You have done amazingly well to pay off debts from your tiny budget, but the extra income would make a massive difference. Run the numbers in the turn2us.org benefits calc and then check the snowball calc to see what difference it would make to your debts, your debt isn't huge just huge for your income this could make years worth of difference to your debt free date.
    Debit to Credit (stage 1) 3652.34 completed 15/10/16
    Debit to Credit (stage 2) 6299.09 completed 25/06/17
    Last Castle 150,000/ 25300
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 8th Jul 17, 9:17 AM
    • 4,361 Posts
    • 13,231 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Honey I'm not telling you what to do and only you know the real ins and outs of your relationship but some of what you say about your OH does sound like emotional abuse, please read the link, there is help out there for you.
    https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/arguing-and-conflict/what-emotional-abuse
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    • XSpender
    • By XSpender 8th Jul 17, 10:17 AM
    • 2,685 Posts
    • 27,561 Thanks
    XSpender
    Congratulations on the job. What a great opportunity, going back to a job at a place you know and like and having a choice of hours to fit around your family.

    Having a regular income of your own may help reduce the stress caused by your current financial situation.

    I think you do a brilliant job raising your kids and reducing the debt on a limited income.
    EF £1000 - £0
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 8th Jul 17, 11:53 AM
    • 831 Posts
    • 4,190 Thanks
    UncannyScot
    Hidden
    What folks have been saying regarding control has struck a chord with me.
    I agree, this is about control, he needs you to need him.
    The truth is, you don't...
    You prove that on a daily basis.

    You are a fantastic and inspirational young woman who puts her kids first every time.
    (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • GeorgianaCavendish
    • By GeorgianaCavendish 8th Jul 17, 12:13 PM
    • 545 Posts
    • 2,873 Thanks
    GeorgianaCavendish
    Hidden, I've got so much respect for you. You are doing an amazing job of looking after your kids, all that delicious cooking from scratch, keeping on top of the debt payments and finding ways to earn money etc and handle all the curveballs that OH's poor decisions throw your way. I honestly don't believe that anything would suffer from you having a job, except perhaps OH's ego.

    I'm sure you will make the right decision, sounds like your mum would be a good person to bounce ideas off re: the best hours to take. And it sounds as though whatever contract you choose, you'll have the summer holidays to get ahead on any life admin before this job starts.

    I know this can't be easy but keep the faith in yourself and everything that's been said here: YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN WHO IS DOING A BRILLIANT JOB OF RAISING HER KIDS. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise.
    Georgiana, Duchess of Debt-shire's October 2017 Debt Totals: HSBC Loan £10,225.95 / MBNA £3301.93 / Barclaycard £9961.04/ Lloyds £3489.16 / Tesco 1 £897.50/ Tesco 2 £2327.82

    And don't forget the Student Loan! £10,765.93 (April 2017)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 8th Jul 17, 1:13 PM
    • 5,328 Posts
    • 26,196 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you for all your replies

    I think I will take the 24 hour contract. If I'm going to be working the 24 hours anyway I might as well get the benefit of 24 hours in the holidays too

    Still need to speak to them though because O still has a couple of appointments that will be in work hours and won't be able to be moved out of those hours. Although the majority can be made after hours/school holidays.

    Will need to think about her childcare though, she could go to nursery for the 24 hours, however 'we' meaning the nursery/nurses/her other teams thinks that amount of germs/care needs in a sudden change could make us take a huge leap back. So we need to try and stay to the 1 hour a day and slowly build up on how she copes/how nursery cope with her needs. Least we all agree.
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 8th Jul 17, 1:38 PM
    • 831 Posts
    • 4,190 Thanks
    UncannyScot
    way to go lass
    (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
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