Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    • 5,061Posts
    • 23,063Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Page 123
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 12th Oct 17, 10:15 PM
    • 449 Posts
    • 3,621 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Evening HI. We were in Mr t this morning and they had girls 3 pack of gloves for £4 as I was looking for school. Just looked online and they've only got the boys version but might be worth keep checking instore/online.

    Good luck with the new cleaning Rota. I'm sure you will be glad of a bit extra time x
    LBM in April 17 - £3786/£33554 (11.2%) paid
    DFD: 1st May 2022
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 12th Oct 17, 10:25 PM
    • 4,423 Posts
    • 24,714 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    I'm very impressed with your bargains

    Bed linen wise I change the sheet once a week and the rest fortnightly and don't iron them. It's lovely to have fresh bedding though.

    I will admit I used to be like you with excessive cleaning when my kids were little. It wears off when you get older

    Regarding the goody bags - I used to do them for my two when they were younger, 10 things for under £2 each - they loved them. As they got older the items included a bottle of beer/wine, nibbles/chocolate, magazines etc.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £656.24
    October NSD 5/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 12th Oct 17, 10:41 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you CT we are going to Mr T for the coats tomorrow so will check thank you. I might get the boys if not glove's are gloves I guess.

    Thank you SA. I'm definitely going to do the gift bags. I think I'm going to add a few things a week into it so it's sorted in plenty time.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 13th Oct 17, 7:36 AM
    • 609 Posts
    • 2,301 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Lots of lovely food bargains again , I think when you go looking for them they are never there. When you're not you get loads.

    Very organised with the coat buying, and all the other things . Good news that DD is having more help at nursery . Will you be applying for her to go to same school as other 2? . Makes it so much easier all being at the same school.

    Not long now until your week away .
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 8:22 AM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I have applied for the same school but I think they are going to push for a sen school rather than mainstream.
    Although another 12 months is a long time for things to change/improve I guess.

    Going to buy another coat today then the last one next week I think (hopefully be at another £10 voucher by next week)

    I think we will need the winter coats for the week in Blackpool

    Things are squeaky tight though. Mr V!rgin needs paying today rather than on payday. Hoping exoh transfers money Also still waiting on his mum's money for school photos feel bad chasing her though

    I think we definitely have enough food/milk etc until we go away now. It just needs planning and sticking to I haven't been very good at that this week.

    Think youngest can do two days in school next week so going to arrange to go in work on those two days rather than feeling like a total letdown.

    No debt repayment's again this week Just the fine and rent payments out. Will update my lists later though as some other things have been sorted.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 9:25 AM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Always a drama here, I'm so fuming at DD's teacher.

    I've kept the majority off here as I was a bit embaressed and blaming myself. However DD has been being really upset in class since starting back in September and I'd just put it down to a new teacher/big change etc. Anyway more recently DD has been so obsessed with school things that she's even upset on a weekend because she doesn't want to be in trouble at school. I thought this was quite strange as since starting there in nursery she's never been shouted at or in trouble for anything and everyone always jokes they want to keep her

    It all came to a head this week as DD has been saying her writing isn't good enough and everyone else is better.

    Turns out DD teacher said 'DD your writing isn't cursative enough and if you don't improve the rest I will rip the page out and you'll do it again in your own time'

    Now this might seem so minor but these minor things have built up to this and knocked DD right down to crying nearly everyday!

    End of the day DD is 6. I wouldn't speak to her like that so there's no way I'm standing back and letting someone else do it!

    I was blaming myself for her feeling upset thinking she was feeling pushed out because of youngest etc, she was tired because of youngest disturbing them. I am so cross!
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • monz
    • By monz 13th Oct 17, 9:57 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    omg thats terrible!!! I would write a complaint. verbal they do not keep but by law they have to with written letters and show to be dealt with xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 10:11 AM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I read it back and thought it sounded a bit petty what I'd said Like I say there is quite a few other little things been said and done.

    I have a meeting with the principal at 11am I didn't want to wait until Monday
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 13th Oct 17, 10:13 AM
    • 845 Posts
    • 7,644 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    That is terrible. If the teacher thinks her writing is not up to the standard she wants then she should be giving her extra help and encouraging her not threatening to punish her by tearing up her efforts. For goodness sake she's only six. Definitely complain. Maybe the teacher doesn't realize the harm she's done but none of my teacher friends would ever have treated a child like that. I am sure that you are reassuring her that she's done nothing wrong and isn't in trouble.
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 13th Oct 17, 12:00 PM
    • 449 Posts
    • 3,621 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Hope the meeting has gone well. Our DD is extremely sensitive and spends hours crying in case she gets something wrong or gets into trouble for something to the point she wont even try in case she gets it wrong and gets told off. There is a lot of pressure on the little ones to get things right straight away.

    DD3 doesn't care and wasn't remotely bothered when she was moved down on the reward chart, it would have devastated DD2. Some children definitely need more reassurance than others to help them learn x
    LBM in April 17 - £3786/£33554 (11.2%) paid
    DFD: 1st May 2022
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 13th Oct 17, 12:13 PM
    • 3,867 Posts
    • 11,174 Thanks
    abba1772
    I hate hate hate cursive writing in primary schools let them find their own handwriting style then move on to cursive, my son has lovely handwriting but they only allow cursive in his school and I can't read it

    You're not being petty hope your meeting with the school went well as the teacher should not be threatening to destroy her work cause it's not good poor wee soul hope she's ok xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £5382.77
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £4890.54 / £6000
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 12:35 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you, glad others don't think I'm being over the top.

    School meeting went well and its being looked into and she's going to keep checking in with DD to see how she feels. She's also getting the SENCO to do some tests with DD to see about dyslexia etc (this is something I've been asking for since the start of year 1 and ignored about so glad she understood these concerns too)

    Have ordered DD a worry monster from Amazon with vouchers I know I shouldn't be spending really. Also some handwriting books to help with cursive writing. I think teaching her how to get her letters the right way round first should be more important but there you go.

    Going to start spending a bit extra time with her on her own once the other two are in bed too. I think she's feeling a bit left out. DS always demands attention and gets it one way or another and youngest obviously gets more than her fair share. Where as DD is always so good she's sort of left to it. I feel bad

    Think I need to cut myself in four never mind in half
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 12:39 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Debt 13/10/17

    Council Tax £2092.71 £1400
    Fine 1 £1250 £875 (£25 paid)
    Fine 2 £200 £0
    Aunt £1000
    Mum £87 +£340 300
    Step Dad £1000
    Friend £1379 £1360

    Total £7348.71 £5935 (£1413.71 paid)


    Rent arrears £3381.28 £2855 (£526.28 paid)

    Debt + Rent £10729.99 £8790 (£1939.99 paid)

    SO slow!
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 12:42 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    October goals

    Money
    £50 to council tax - £0/£50
    £75 Groceries - £16.97/£75
    £200 to other debt £80/£200

    Extra income £50* -

    Money outstanding to Mum now £575. (£225 paid)

    Plans
    Two bigger smalls to keep 100% attendance Well DS had one day off with the sickness bug
    Have a lovely week away at half term
    DD attend birthday party - Gift and Card needed
    Have a fab halloween - under £5 Party dinner organised, all food stuffs needed are in. Will bake cakes and all things halloween themed. Cost Zero
    Halloween costumes for school x 3 £30? Hopefully less


    I need to catch up on ALL my bills I'm behind on (all have been spoken too and are okay).
    V1rgin - first bill so two months nearly £89 (its a bit under this but rounded up)
    Expensive

    TV license - £28
    Rent - £113.07
    Council tax £85
    School - £200 £130

    List of things I need to sort in October.

    3 x halloween costumes
    Winter coats for smalls 1 down 2 to go.
    Hats and gloves for smalls
    Youngest all in one suit for school. Ordered
    DD's clothes - just basics but she really needs something Sorted T-shirts. Still need leggings/skirt/tights and jumpers.
    Pj's and a book for youngest for school event

    School photos £44.25

    Birthday card and gift for DD party invite Sorted thank you EH. £10 spent, art & craft items,
    friendship bracelet, sweets and a card. DD very impressed


    I've made my plans slightly smaller, removed the Xmas plans for now I won't be getting anything for Xmas until the bills are caught up. This isn't an issue I get a payment in Dec that will cover Xmas without pushing my budget too much.

    Unbudgeted spends
    School trousers DS £5
    Worry Monster £8 (amazon vouchers)
    Handwriting books £7.50 (amazon vouchers)
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Moneywhizz
    • By Moneywhizz 13th Oct 17, 12:51 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 512 Thanks
    Moneywhizz
    As an ex teacher it sound ridiculous to me to be expecting a six year old child to do cursive handwriting. In more progressive countries, children don't even start school till they are seven, and here we are giving six year olds into trouble for their handwriting. No wonder our children are worried about school. You sound like a great mum who gives her children lots of attention and support. I hope things improve for dd from now on.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 13th Oct 17, 1:05 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 3,662 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    It's a shame school is putting so much pressure on DD. It's good that you spoke to the principal and made them aware of the situation.

    Nice for DD to get more attention but I know how hard it is when you have three to sort out.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 13th Oct 17, 2:09 PM
    • 1,518 Posts
    • 17,233 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    I think I saw you post about DD washing her hands and making them sore a few days ago, in relation to getting some cream to treat them with. I assume you have connected that slightly obsessive behaviour with the stress she has been feeling around the school environment. As well as boosting her self esteem, and giving her more of your time, have you considered teaching her some resilience techniques to help her combat the anxiety a bit? There are loads but the SENCO at school should be able to help if you want some
    MFiT T4 #2 update 31.2% after Q6
    Save £12k in 2017 #64 - £8833.96 saved (80.31%) after September - my annual target is £11,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 70.68/75% including stores after July
    My DFD is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5593594
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 13th Oct 17, 2:12 PM
    • 845 Posts
    • 7,644 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Just a wee story which I hope might encourage you. When my nephew was 12 (quite a few years ago now) his science teacher told my sister in law that he thought he might be dyslexic. His English teacher said it was an excuse for laziness (not very helpful) but the science teacher encouraged her to persevere and supported her all the way. He was indeed diagnosed with dyslexia and was then given the appropriate help but it took a long time. He is now in charge of a medical laboratory and has been very successful in both his career and private life. Thankfully, things have moved on but the moral of the story is if you think your child is not getting the help they deserve and are entitled to don't give up. You are not going over the top. As for the handwriting thing surely all it needs to be at this stage is legible.
    Keep going, Hidden. Your children are really lucky to have such a caring mother.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 2:16 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I think I saw you post about DD washing her hands and making them sore a few days ago, in relation to getting some cream to treat them with. I assume you have connected that slightly obsessive behaviour with the stress she has been feeling around the school environment. As well as boosting her self esteem, and giving her more of your time, have you considered teaching her some resilience techniques to help her combat the anxiety a bit? There are loads but the SENCO at school should be able to help if you want some
    Originally posted by Suffolk lass
    I do think it's stress related there's a few other bits she does too (scratching at her skin until it's sore)

    I feel a bit of a loss what to do to help, I'm sure school think I'm a bad mum But I've no idea what to do?

    I've got the worry monster, I've got her a 'special' note book and pen. I've always told her to tell me whats bothering her and she's no need to be worried about telling me anything. Even if she had done something 'wrong' or a bit naughty.

    I feel like I'm failing her somehow because I can't 'fix' it x
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 13th Oct 17, 2:20 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,063 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Just a wee story which I hope might encourage you. When my nephew was 12 (quite a few years ago now) his science teacher told my sister in law that he thought he might be dyslexic. His English teacher said it was an excuse for laziness (not very helpful) but the science teacher encouraged her to persevere and supported her all the way. He was indeed diagnosed with dyslexia and was then given the appropriate help but it took a long time. He is now in charge of a medical laboratory and has been very successful in both his career and private life. Thankfully, things have moved on but the moral of the story is if you think your child is not getting the help they deserve and are entitled to don't give up. You are not going over the top. As for the handwriting thing surely all it needs to be at this stage is legible.
    Keep going, Hidden. Your children are really lucky to have such a caring mother.
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    Thank you I think I'm going to push it abit more now she's into 'real learning' rather than Reception/Year 1. I've worked with under 8's and yes some mistakes are made but she has a 4 letter name and consistently gets the same letter back to front even though she's been writing her name for over 3 years! She reads the same letters wrong too. IE 'pipe' she says pibe or bipe etc. Even if it's nothing and she just needs a bit extra support I feel like maybe then her teacher would understand more and not be as harsh? Hopefully.

    I've agreed we will try the things I've said and then in a few weeks have another meeting and if she isn't happier I want her moving to the other class in her year group She know's that teacher and is comfortable with him.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

4,993Posts Today

6,456Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • I was surprised to see the three people in front of me in the newsagents were all shocked their old £1 coins were no longer taken.

  • RT @natdebtline: If you?ve been visited by a bailiff since April 2014 we want to hear your story for our #bailiffreform campaign https://t.?

  • Well so far it seems there's one thing remainers and leavers agree on - the EU is getting the better of the negotia? https://t.co/70z5ffpG8S

  • Follow Martin