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  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    • 5,061Posts
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    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Page 122
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 11th Oct 17, 5:05 PM
    • 846 Posts
    • 7,647 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Hello Hidden
    Hope the wee one is a bit better but that is really good of work to be so understanding. It's the way it should be but not every employer would be so helpful. Good for them - I am impressed.
    That's a really good suggestion from EH re easing into cutting down on the washing and ironing of bedding. It would save you so much time and money but we don't want you getting stressed. I change ours once a week.
    OH has a sim only with Virgin. £5.00 a month but he rarely uses his mobile so I don't know if that would suit you or not..
    I'm glad you have made some sort of arrangement with your mother re the debt. I agree with the others that it might be a good idea to concentrate on paying her back so that you don't have it hanging over you but, at least you know that she won't be adding to it now.
    Hope you have a nice evening.
    • natsplatnat
    • By natsplatnat 11th Oct 17, 5:23 PM
    • 2,604 Posts
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    natsplatnat
    Bedding changed fortnightly - ironed NEVER!!
    LBM ,- Wed 19th Nov 2008 £21,225 PAID OFF
    *DEBT FREE 28th September 2015*
    *2017 cashback pending £84.37, paid £??*
    (2011=£137.30, 12=£66.39, 13=£102.61, 14=£214.97, 15=£159.51 16=£213.05)
    Pro.Ac £10.10 + £126.19 paid
    SAVINGS TO CLEAR STUDENT LOAN £0.00 (£528.56 paid off)

    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 11th Oct 17, 8:34 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Cleaning is definitely having a change around and a new set of lists made The kids think I clean too much

    Not a NSD

    Went to Mr T just at the right time for the final markdown.
    £49 of groceries for £8.37

    We will be eating salad, so many tomatoes we might look like one. Along with onions/veg/potatoes/bread/bagels/baps.

    I haven't ever seen so many reductions before!

    Have spied out the coats smalls want/like. Going to hope there's a Mr T code for online soon Also youngest's pjs needed for nursery.

    Going to have to get DD leggings/tights and a cardigan/jumper before we go away. Might see if I can get into Pr!mark. Ebay seems to be selling for more than you can get new
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 11th Oct 17, 8:41 PM
    • 846 Posts
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    Toni'sfriend
    Well done on the groceries, Hidden. That's terrific.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 11th Oct 17, 8:53 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
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    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I think changing bedding once a week would be the perfect amount of time. Especially with them bathing every day

    What a great deal on the food shop

    With regard go your mum I have to agree with the others, once she's been paid don't give any more money to her and don't let her look after the kids again. She is taking advantage of you. Hope you're not offended
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Oct 17, 9:02 PM
    • 611 Posts
    • 2,312 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Productive day Hidden . Great shopping trip . I am glad you are rethinking the cleaning. When you work you can't do everything in one day . Plus the washing of the bedding is another great thing.
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 11th Oct 17, 9:15 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,099 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    That should see us through until after our week away now. I didn't actually go to Mr T for shopping I went to the pharmacy and just caught them putting the reductions out.

    The smalls said I'm always cleaning and everything doesn't need to be perfect So I want to find the balance where we still do activities and the house still stays nice and clean.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 12th Oct 17, 5:57 AM
    • 651 Posts
    • 4,164 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    Weekly bedding is what I aim for, but fortnightly is often how it is. I think that's fairly standard. I have a thing for housekeeping manuals (I know, it's odd) and weekly is the usual.

    Also, can I just tell you how envious I am of your electric bill? I live in one of the highest-priced places in the world for this. We have electric, no gas, and it's a large-ish house but I don't run the dryer anywhere near as often as you do (maybe three times a week when it's wet) nor have three showers a day, and my last bill, if I translate it into pounds, was £230 for the month. That's not unusual around here.
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    14 August 2017 - Refinanced: $220,000
    September 2017 - $218,597.77
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 12th Oct 17, 6:49 AM
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    Eager_Elephant
    My kids have always bathed daily and I used to wash their bedding either weekly or fortnightly, now oldest is at Uni he doesn't wash his bedding all term and then brings it home to me he does shower twice a day but that's not the point.
    DD (14) changes her bedding every 2 weeks unless she has other ideas and changes it daily for a week just because she wants a change

    I change our bedding every 1 - 2 weeks - it depends what the dogs are up to.
    Unfortunately we allow dogs on the bed, they are very clean dogs and don't smell 'doggy'.
    We change more often in wet weather as the dogs like getting on the bed with muddy paws
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 33 for October
    NSD - 0/18
    (up to 01/10/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 12th Oct 17, 8:09 AM
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    Hiddenidenity
    I'm going to do one set a day for now. Along with youngests she's smelly just joking

    Saying that the amount of hours she's actually slept this week I don't think it adds up to one full night! I am so tired. I'm definitely going to try and get a nap in today.

    Smalls are just brushing their teeth before heading off to school.

    Today I also need to make the sausage casserole. I've seen some leggings and jumpers in Mr A for DD reasonable too. Should be able to get enough to last for now for under £25-30. I think I'll do that on payday. Although I'll still looking on ebay first. Still finding most things sell for more than buying new? Don't think postage helps.

    We have been planning holiday things. Everyday there's activities on that are mainly free. One or two are £2 each if they get to keep the things they make. We really want to do the Zoo too which is expensive compared to what we usually do do will think about it more. We will probably visit the famous lights again but that's free

    I have my nectar vouchers to use so might do a shop to be delivered to the caravan using the £12 of £50 shop get nappies etc will take it to near £50 anyway and cheaper than using the shops that are local to there. Which means there will be no eating/drinking costs other than the delivery.

    We have cards/domino's and a couple of board games there to entertain us in the evening.

    Have ordered youngests boots from her DLA. Along with a few other bits she needed and some med bits that needed replacing. Makes me appreciate that she got her DLA I would have struggled to sort these otherwise. Hoping OT will advise more on a pushchair that will take over 15kg and for a near 4 year old.

    Eta: boots are needed she has new splints on order and needs a bigger size boot. She's always had free OT boots but doesn't like wearing them and asked for pink ones this time. I felt with the DLA we could give it a try x
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 12-10-2017 at 8:28 AM.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 12th Oct 17, 12:38 PM
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    • 23,099 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Weirdly the 12 months statements have just come in for my Gas/Electric
    September 16 - September 17

    Gas £398.21
    Electricity £519.70

    Plus the arrears we'd been paying then the grant paid the remainder.
    I don't think the usage is too bad for a family of 5 with quite a lot of medical stuff in the house etc along with the washing/drying and the central heating mainly set at 17-18 for the majority of the time.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 12th Oct 17, 12:55 PM
    • 8,013 Posts
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    EssexHebridean
    That sounds really good on the utilities Hidden - well done you!

    Another well done also on the cleaning/bed changing thing too - seriously, I know this is a huge thing for you and you're being so positive about tackling it - I have a feeling that something has just clicked in your mind, no? The kids don't want to grow up fearing bringing friends home because they might make a mess, I suspect - good work to them for putting the groundwork in place now! They're right though - there is a huge difference between "clean" and "perfect" and a bit of grubbiness here and there definitely helps us fight off the random lurgies we'd otherwise pick up!

    Tell you something - I reckon you're heading for needing a new diary - you're a totally different person since you started this one, aren't you!
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 12th Oct 17, 1:03 PM
    • 4,426 Posts
    • 8,220 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I think weekly bedding changes for each bed is sufficient barring "accidents" of course. That will help with your water and electricity bills too and give you more time and energy back to spend on yourself or your children. You are allowed to relax from time to time

    Good that your employers are understanding about your youngests health issues but you are right this cannot continue as not good for her or for you. Is it that horrible cough virus round that gives little ones croup type symptoms? My 2 year old granddaughter had that this week and was coughing so hard Sunday night she was sick. I know your DD has other health issues though so I guess this time of year with viruses around make it doubly hard.

    Not long to half term now.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 2 months to go.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 12th Oct 17, 1:11 PM
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    • 23,099 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you EH I do think I need to relax a little especially around the DS and DD. DD is following so many things I do, and she has been given steroids and creams for her skin on her hands because she washes them so much There's other bits as well so I think a whole shake up of routine for us all needs to be done to make it a healthier balance.

    My employer has been brilliant. Youngest's team are arranging a more 'qualified' on the medical side of things rather than teacher side one to one for her. This means after half term she will be able to use her free hours (up to 30) and she will be supervised constantly by someone trained to feed/give medication etc. I think while she's in a mainstream school nursery now it's something we have to consider for her admission to full time school next year. On the virus side of things she's actually got over it quicker than the other two. But school won't take her as she's too high risk being on antivirals and steroids plus being in her 'red zone' of her management plan. Again we hope this trained one to one can prevent this happening unless she's actually too unwell to get up and go. She definitely could have attended this week had she had the support from school (which I realise isn't their place so not blaming them at all)
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 12th Oct 17, 1:13 PM
    • 1,417 Posts
    • 7,597 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    Regarding the nectar points/vouchers, did you sign up to the E-rewards thingy. With only a few surveys a day I'm averaging 1000 points = £5 every 3-4 days. I don't wait for them to send them to me, though they do, I just click on one of the emails they sent initially. I'm saving them up to buy the wine that we take to all the different family we spend Christmas and then New Year with as well as a couple of treats - and nice Cheese, then I'm going to aim for new bedding in the sales.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 12th Oct 17, 2:10 PM
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    • 23,099 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Regarding the nectar points/vouchers, did you sign up to the E-rewards thingy. With only a few surveys a day I'm averaging 1000 points = £5 every 3-4 days. I don't wait for them to send them to me, though they do, I just click on one of the emails they sent initially. I'm saving them up to buy the wine that we take to all the different family we spend Christmas and then New Year with as well as a couple of treats - and nice Cheese, then I'm going to aim for new bedding in the sales.
    Originally posted by joeyjimbles
    I did, I haven't had an invite yet? I'm going to look into it again as that sounds like loads of points! Would help loads. thank you x
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 12th Oct 17, 2:21 PM
    • 1,417 Posts
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    joeyjimbles
    May be worth checking out the site - I know that I didn't get many until I'd filled in my profile but I couldn't find where to fill that out on the site, it was sent to me in a survey email. Also check your spam as I think that's where one of mine went.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 12th Oct 17, 4:06 PM
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    EssexHebridean
    That does sound interesting - Linky HERE for anyone interested... Thanks JJ!
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 12th Oct 17, 4:19 PM
    • 5,219 Posts
    • 17,441 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Hi HI,

    Hope DD is much better now.

    Big hugs to you xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7250.00 Cap 1: £540.91 BC: £5196.94

    AFD 3/10 NSD 2/10 LTW 3/15

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 12th Oct 17, 7:57 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,099 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you

    I have completed the profile now the emails where in a different part on gmail annoying

    I think I need to stop popping in the supermarket on the way home from appointments

    £3.82 spent - Fancy fruit and vegetables yellow stickered, Hot counter roast chickens 40p Cumberland sausages 14p! I couldn't say no!

    I actually went in to buy smalls gloves. Do basic gloves not exist anymore? Definitely not paying £6 for some gloves that no doubt only one will come home from school within the week

    Ordered youngest winter coat from Mr T - £20 tesco vouchers from valued opinions - free click and collect - Zero cash I have always cashed out amazon as its rare I go instore usually. Anyway the Me T code come through almost instantly and can be spent online Sorry Xmas gifts but its going to go on basic clothing for now
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
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