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  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    • 3,828Posts
    • 15,207Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
    Rent Arrears £346.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
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Page 12
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 18th May 17, 5:03 PM
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    • 5,670 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Awful boy really is unacceptable and you're right not to have him. I know that there are reasons for his behaviour but you've tried your best and nothing's changed. I would say to your son that until his "friend" learns to behave in a respectful and appropriate way he can't come to play. I agree, as well, that some of these parents are taking you for granted. You are obviously a very nice person who likes children but you're not responsible for everyone's children. We have a lot of children who come here to play because my neighbour is very generous with her children's toys (she has slides, swings, etc in the communal area) and we are very generous with biscuits, etc (all my neighbours are really great) but we have all wondered how people can send their toddlers out to play without checking on them. We've actually started to tell them it's time to go home. Maybe you should think about that.
    NSD 12/14 Weightloss 1.5/48 July womble £79.10 2017 Wombling total £1079.32
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 18th May 17, 5:19 PM
    • 5,230 Posts
    • 15,336 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Caught up HI!!! You're doing soooo well, youve made me tired just reading!!!! Well done on getting to pay day without borrowing from anyone xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £7586.76 - 31/05/17 - 67.25% paid off
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 18th May 17, 6:50 PM
    • 3,965 Posts
    • 21,005 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    I am stalking free cycle and have posted thank you. I check freecycle/other free groups/pages because we still need a lot of things to make here comfortable. From small things like plates and bowls to the bigger items of furniture/beds/cooker! Etc.

    .
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Do you not have any of the above or is it that they are old and getting worn out?

    As a Debt Adviser I have access to charities who can help families in need, I often apply for essentials like cookers and beds - maybe you could mention it at your appointment.

    Also often people will donate items to us which we can then also pass on to families like plates and bowls etc.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 4 for July
    NSD - 11/16
    (up to 21/7/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 18th May 17, 7:02 PM
    • 3,828 Posts
    • 15,207 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Do you not have any of the above or is it that they are old and getting worn out?

    As a Debt Adviser I have access to charities who can help families in need, I often apply for essentials like cookers and beds - maybe you could mention it at your appointment.

    Also often people will donate items to us which we can then also pass on to families like plates and bowls etc.
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    We have a cooker but it only has 1 ring that works and I have to sellotape the door shut on the oven

    Half the kids have beds. We don't.

    We moved here with nothing and have taken as Many hand me downs/freebies as possible We'll get there eventually, and we do and can manage as we are x

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
    Rent Arrears £346.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £216.52 + £25 Cash + £45 Amazon
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 18th May 17, 7:50 PM
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    Toni'sfriend
    What are you sleeping on if you don't have beds? If that is a!l you have to cook on. There is obviously help out there. I'm sure We would be happy to point you in the right direction
    NSD 12/14 Weightloss 1.5/48 July womble £79.10 2017 Wombling total £1079.32
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 18th May 17, 7:57 PM
    • 3,828 Posts
    • 15,207 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    What are you sleeping on if you don't have beds? If that is a!l you have to cook on. There is obviously help out there. I'm sure We would be happy to point you in the right direction
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    We sleep on the floor sounds worse than it is
    I have a slow cooker which I try to use more than the oven

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
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    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
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    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 18th May 17, 8:15 PM
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    Toni'sfriend
    It's not right that you and your children are living like this. Please take advantage of all the help that is available.
    NSD 12/14 Weightloss 1.5/48 July womble £79.10 2017 Wombling total £1079.32
    • hex2
    • By hex2 18th May 17, 9:15 PM
    • 4,670 Posts
    • 79,503 Thanks
    hex2
    Hello, I tend to lurk but not post but wanted to say how impressed I am by what you are doing.

    If you don't mind me asking, what region are you in? It might help people to identify local sources of assistance.
    'If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need' Marcus Tullius Cicero
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 18th May 17, 9:26 PM
    • 4,732 Posts
    • 15,147 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Oh lovely, I'm sorry things are still so difficult. You do amazingly well to cope and I'm in awe of you.

    Please try and seek some help, I'm sure there are people/charities that will help get you.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7650.00 Cap 1: £400.00 Overdraft: £2750.00

    Lunches to work 7/20 ~ £10pw 3/4

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 18th May 17, 9:29 PM
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    Purplemumof2
    As for awful boy....read back on my diary about November. Not seen that child since. I feel for you and agree that you've probably been taken advantage of.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7650.00 Cap 1: £400.00 Overdraft: £2750.00

    Lunches to work 7/20 ~ £10pw 3/4

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 18th May 17, 9:39 PM
    • 3,828 Posts
    • 15,207 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I'm in Bolton well just outside of it (Greater Manchester)

    Ahh we don't have it as bad as some we plod along. Slowly but surely we'll get to where we want to be x

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
    Rent Arrears £346.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £216.52 + £25 Cash + £45 Amazon
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 18th May 17, 10:06 PM
    • 339 Posts
    • 3,124 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    You have done fantastic in the last few days. I haven't had the laptop to post but been reading on my phone. You seem to have so much motivation and well and truly deserved that coffee.

    Good luck with the DLA forms, they are a pain to fill in but if awarded will help you and the children so much, It's so hard to fill in as it just becomes 'normal' all the extra things you do, but if you can, try to keep a diary while your waiting for the forms (so you can fill them in quicker and easier), everything extra you have to do that you wouldn't for a child of the same age, after I had sent my forms off I thought of so much stuff that I hadn't included. If you get awarded you can also look at carers allowance for you.
    LBM-March 17 £2129/£33554 (6.3%) paid
    • Doobop
    • By Doobop 18th May 17, 10:06 PM
    • 162 Posts
    • 1,456 Thanks
    Doobop
    I have just read all of your diary and wanted to say you are doing amazingly. Keep posting, you are getting great advice. One little thought - if you are renting is your landlord not responsible for the cooker? You are doing well using the slow cooker but imagine it's hard work not having all the hobs etc working.
    Last edited by Doobop; 19-05-2017 at 6:18 AM. Reason: Typo
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 18th May 17, 10:17 PM
    • 3,828 Posts
    • 15,207 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    You have done fantastic in the last few days. I haven't had the laptop to post but been reading on my phone. You seem to have so much motivation and well and truly deserved that coffee.

    Good luck with the DLA forms, they are a pain to fill in but if awarded will help you and the children so much, It's so hard to fill in as it just becomes 'normal' all the extra things you do, but if you can, try to keep a diary while your waiting for the forms (so you can fill them in quicker and easier), everything extra you have to do that you wouldn't for a child of the same age, after I had sent my forms off I thought of so much stuff that I hadn't included. If you get awarded you can also look at carers allowance for you.
    Originally posted by charlies tribe
    Thank you I really do appreciate the help. I've heard horror stories about the form so I'm worried, but her team have said that they are happy to help so hopefully they do

    I have just read all of your diary and wanted to say you are doing amazingly. Keep posting, you are getting great advice. One little thought - if you are renting is your landlord not responsible for the cooker? You are doing well using the slow cooker but imagine it's hard work not having all the jobs etc working.
    Originally posted by Doobop
    Thank you for stopping

    No the house is housing association so nothing is provided. We moved from a furnished rental to here. Hence having nothing really to bring. We still don't have carpets etc either obviously not a priority just another big expense

    At one point we'd have got it all on credit. However I'd rather starve than turn to a loan/credit so I'm certainly not doing it for 'things'

    I have some items in my mum's attic from the older kids being smaller. She's going to bring it all back because she's having work done so I'm taking it as the perfect opportunity to list it all for sale which should help slightly. Nothing worth loads but every little helps
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 18-05-2017 at 10:19 PM.

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
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    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £216.52 + £25 Cash + £45 Amazon
    • Doobop
    • By Doobop 19th May 17, 6:25 AM
    • 162 Posts
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    Doobop
    That's a shame, hopefully that might be one less thing to think about. Seems a bit mad that carpets aren't provided when you're renting, you could put a load of carpet in then move and it wouldn't fit the new place! Sounds a good plan about eBay, every little helps like you say. Keep going.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 7:35 AM
    • 3,828 Posts
    • 15,207 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Things to catch up on to make above work.

    TV license £24
    Mum £50 £30
    Council tax £64 £44
    Small Fine £105

    Debt 16/5/17

    Council Tax £2092.71 £2066 (£15 paid)
    Fine 1 £1250
    Fine 2 £200 £85 (£5 paid)
    Aunt £1000
    Mum £340 + £87 £30 (£20 paid)
    Step Dad £1000
    Friend £1379

    Total £7348.71 £7155 ( £198.71 paid )


    Rent arrears £3381.28 £3365 (£16.38 paid)
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 19-05-2017 at 1:42 PM.

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
    Rent Arrears £346.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
    July 17 PA £216.52 + £25 Cash + £45 Amazon
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 7:48 AM
    • 3,828 Posts
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    Hiddenidenity
    Small payments made feels like I'll be here forever

    Need to go and put gas/electric on and do the TV licence. Get money out for school dinners. Go to Aldi and be back for 11 to wait for v1rgin. Need to top my phone up its £5 too as that runs out today.

    I've kept back the eBay money for now. Because I really need to find a hoover. It's impossible without one (might not be a big deal to most but I really can't manage without one. It took nearly 2 hours last night to sweep upstairs and it still isn't right)

    It's our anniversary today and OH has forgot that's what happens when a life sentence would have been shorter
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 19-05-2017 at 7:56 AM.

    DFW £733.71/£7348.71
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    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £50 Amazon
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    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 19th May 17, 9:16 AM
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    Toni'sfriend
    Morning
    I wouldn't say a hoover's a big deal. I couldn't do without mine and I don't clean nearly as much as you do. You really need a cooker and beds as well. When my mum died 7 years ago we gave all her household goods (right down to pots and pans) to a charity which I think was council run and which gave them to tenants who needed them. I don't know if there might be something similar in your area but someone might.
    NSD 12/14 Weightloss 1.5/48 July womble £79.10 2017 Wombling total £1079.32
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 19th May 17, 9:18 AM
    • 4,732 Posts
    • 15,147 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning,

    Happy Anniversary

    I don't think a hoover's a big deal, I too couldn't live without mine either.

    Well done on the payments, you've nearly caught up on the little things.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7650.00 Cap 1: £400.00 Overdraft: £2750.00

    Lunches to work 7/20 ~ £10pw 3/4

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 19th May 17, 9:48 AM
    • 3,828 Posts
    • 15,207 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I think I've found a cooker for free I just need to find a way to get it here (it isn't far) and then save to have it connected, will need to call for prices.

    I've sent some messages out to some adverts for toddler beds. There's no other beds on I can see.

    We have a similar charity TF but you have to be receiving certain benefits I think will have another look incase I misunderstood.

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