Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    • 5,061Posts
    • 23,093Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Page 119
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 8th Oct 17, 8:23 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,093 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    October goals

    Money
    £50 to council tax - £0/£50
    £75 Groceries - £0/£75
    £200 to other debt £40/£200

    Extra income £50* -

    Money outstanding to Mum now £575.

    Plans
    Two bigger smalls to keep 100% attendance Well DS had one day off with the sickness bug
    Have a lovely week away at half term
    DD attend birthday party - Gift and Card needed
    Have a fab halloween - under £5
    Halloween costumes for school x 3 £30? Hopefully less


    I need to catch up on ALL my bills I'm behind on (all have been spoken too and are okay).
    V1rgin - first bill so two months nearly £89 (its a bit under this but rounded up)
    TV license - £28
    Rent - £113.07
    Council tax £85
    School - £200 £150

    List of things I need to sort in October.

    3 x halloween costumes
    Winter coats for smalls
    Hats and gloves for smalls
    Youngest all in one suit for school. Ordered
    DD's clothes - just basics but she really needs something Sorted T-shirts. Still need leggings/skirt/tights and jumpers.

    School photos £44.25

    Birthday card and gift for DD party invite

    I've made my plans slightly smaller, removed the Xmas plans for now I won't be getting anything for Xmas until the bills are caught up. This isn't an issue I get a payment in Dec that will cover Xmas without pushing my budget too much.
    Last edited by Hiddenidenity; 08-10-2017 at 8:25 PM.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 8th Oct 17, 9:02 PM
    • 611 Posts
    • 2,306 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I saw Halloween stuff in Aldi today, I remember you saying it wasn't close by to you , but think you can order online. Not sure what they had may be worth a look.
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 8th Oct 17, 9:11 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,093 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Oh thank you will have a pop in. We are at the community nurses in town tomorrow so will have a look in aldi and someone else recommended home bargains so will look in there too. I'm going to see if I can see last year's and if we can shape them into something else I hate spending on dress ups that don't get used more than one day
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 8th Oct 17, 9:18 PM
    • 611 Posts
    • 2,306 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I have to agree with you Hidden , the less you can pay the better. Home bargains near me did have loads in I had forgotten . Am sure you will sort it .
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 8th Oct 17, 9:39 PM
    • 8,013 Posts
    • 41,435 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    For Halloween type costumes might some facepaints be a worthwhile investment? Just white, black & red means you can then easily just do stuff like zombies, "dead" faces, and lots of other things besides. Just make sure you get a decent brand like Snazaroo - it's easier to blend the good stuff and it's less likely that anyone will be allergic to it.

    B&M might also be worth a look for costume stuff? Also remember charity shops for white sheets or duvet covers that can be "ghost" costumes with the minimum of work or made into something more complex if you have the time.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 8th Oct 17, 10:59 PM
    • 449 Posts
    • 3,621 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Hope you decided to put your feet up and watch tv.
    We need Halloween costumes too. I'm at work but the DC will still want to dress up. Was easier when they were little, the girls would quiet happily wear the boys old skeleton/devil costumes, now they want to be witches/gymnasts/mermaids after coming shopping with us the other day and spotting all the Halloween things. I'm hoping the older 2 won't want a costume this year (They are 14 and 16 but still big kids when they can get away with it).
    LBM in April 17 - £3786/£33554 (11.2%) paid
    DFD: 1st May 2022
    • Treadingonplaymobil
    • By Treadingonplaymobil 9th Oct 17, 5:12 AM
    • 1,014 Posts
    • 9,380 Thanks
    Treadingonplaymobil
    Oh gosh, I'd completely forgotten halloween was round the corner. I hate it! I am so anti-social, I absolutely hate children coming and banging on the door all evening, but it feels so mean not to participate at all.
    £67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed... The debt free diary of one family and their enormous debt
    LBM debt on 12th Feb 2017/DFD: £58,608.13/1st Dec 2026
    debt on 2nd Aug 17/DFD: £55,011.96/1st May 2025
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th Oct 17, 6:56 AM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,093 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Luckily we are away for the week before so they'll use them then plus at school. We don't go trick or treat although we answer the door until they go to bed We will have a 'party' dinner and play games I think.

    Thank you EH will take a peak in there too and the charity shop. I've never done face paint before
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 9th Oct 17, 7:02 AM
    • 5,823 Posts
    • 19,626 Thanks
    missymoo81
    Morning lovely, we don't trick or treat, we just open our door. Children just wear dress up clothes but I do buy and carve pumpkins. We make a lot of pumpkin soup!
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 9th Oct 17, 7:34 AM
    • 4,423 Posts
    • 24,716 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Glad all is ok and your youngest is on the mend. It's a good idea to concentrate on October for now especially if you'll be ok for Christmas. I put oddments into my VSP all year round so I know Christmas is sorted.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £656.24
    October NSD 5/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th Oct 17, 9:58 AM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,093 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    So the party DD is going to Saturday. Need a gift under £20

    Her 'parent' (I think its her grandparent) stopped me this morning asking if L was still going. Yes definitely she hasn't shut up about it

    She also said please don't be offended but I have a bag of little girls clothes would you like them before I take them to the charity shop. No offence taken! Much appreciated Pretty shocked she asked! She seems really nice and so does the little girl. Makes a difference in the area we live in

    I'm still quite nervous about it, it's the first time DD will be heading off with a 'stranger' and its in the city centre not the local town
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th Oct 17, 10:02 AM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,093 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Christmas is usually sorted by a payment I receive from a pension my dad had it gives me around £270 a year after tax and always comes in mid December. This fully covers all Xmas related spends, Presents, cards, decorations, events at school (jumpers, party, xmas dinner, cards they make, the fayre)

    Halloween costumes in Home bargains £5.99 Better than the price of the other supermarkets! £16 in DS size I'm going to hunt down DD from last year and see if we can re model it to fit. Youngest I might use leggings and a t-shirt and some of her many bandages etc. DS is the fussy hard one
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 9th Oct 17, 11:09 AM
    • 449 Posts
    • 3,621 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    That isn't bad, might have to make a visit to home bargains. Don't want to pay a lot for something they'll wear a few hours to open the door in.
    LBM in April 17 - £3786/£33554 (11.2%) paid
    DFD: 1st May 2022
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 9th Oct 17, 12:18 PM
    • 8,013 Posts
    • 41,435 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    So the party DD is going to Saturday. Need a gift under £20

    Her 'parent' (I think its her grandparent) stopped me this morning asking if L was still going. Yes definitely she hasn't shut up about it

    She also said please don't be offended but I have a bag of little girls clothes would you like them before I take them to the charity shop. No offence taken! Much appreciated Pretty shocked she asked! She seems really nice and so does the little girl. Makes a difference in the area we live in

    I'm still quite nervous about it, it's the first time DD will be heading off with a 'stranger' and its in the city centre not the local town
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Bless you for your lovely thoughtful comment on my diary Hidden - I really appreciate your words. xx I'll certainly carry on posting here then with your blessing to do so, and I'm truly glad that I've been of help to you in a small way.

    For a present for a little girl at minimal cost I'd be inclined to think about a pretty gift bag filled with cheap craft items? You could easily do it even for under £10 by using Poundland and places like that, and if you wrap the inside bits in coloured tissue paper (£1 for a pack with lots of sheets in it in Poundland) then she'll have lots to open as well, something which always seems to go down well with kids doesn't it! You'll have masses of the tissue paper left over for use in the future too!

    Lovely of that parent/grandparent to offer you that bag of clothes too - a small kindness to her but means so much to you.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th Oct 17, 1:42 PM
    • 5,061 Posts
    • 23,093 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Oh thats a brilliant idea, will take DD to poundshop and home bargains and let her choose crafty things to put in so she feels like she has chosen. I'm sure I have a giftbag I can re-use and tissue paper too!

    I agree I am so happy she actually asked, it shows how so many things end up at landfill though if people are 'scared' to ask in fear of offending someone? I always pass our things on I've never thought to ask if they where offended opps


    I keep having awful dreams. I'm noting this here so I can see if they go away themselves. I use to have awful dreams before but back in march when I lost myself they went? Now they are back and are awful. Wake up full on shaking and feeling sick with anxiety attacks etc. It happened saturday and I thought it was because of the a&e visit and me being worried then again last night but also I tried to have a nap with youngest this morning and it happened again. I don't want to go to sleep ever again I feel so stupid writing this and like a baby
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 9th Oct 17, 2:39 PM
    • 392 Posts
    • 2,008 Thanks
    redofromstart
    That sounds horrible, no idea what might help but didn't want to read and run. Much sympathy from me.

    ****

    On the party gifts I generally worked to £10, and tried to buy lego or nerf guns on offer for that so they didn't know what I had or hadn't spent. Use to have a few in the present drawer ready for short notice events - my boys both rubbish for actually telling me that had been invited and wanted to go.

    Halloween costumes, I always went for skeleton costumes (school had a dress up day) as they could be reused for funny bones on world book day when the boys inevitably said in the morning that they had to be dressed up. Easier to hand them on to other parents when they are unisex costumes too.
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 9th Oct 17, 5:31 PM
    • 327 Posts
    • 4,599 Thanks
    117pauline
    When I was about 14 I went to a family wedding in the Suffolk village where my father grew up as one of the eight children belonging to the local vicar. An elderly lady took great delight in telling me tales about him. My favourite was the one about him sitting on the War Memorial, dressed in a sheet, scaring all the old ladies!! This must have been in the late 1920s or 1930s.

    You are setting yourself really tough targets again Hidden. Don't forget to build in some treats too.

    Hope the little one is feeling better. It's amazing how quickly they bounce back.

    Have a good week
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 9th Oct 17, 7:49 PM
    • 5,823 Posts
    • 19,626 Thanks
    missymoo81
    Hey hidden, I'm so sorry about the nightmares. If it's any consolation, I have horrific nightmares, and have had panic attacks and sometimes they turn into night terrors, when I wake up but still believe it's happening. They are awful and I really feel for you. I know you don't want to go to sleep but each night before you go to bed try and calm your thoughts, for a while I used s sleep app and that helped. I think it was called calm actually. Big hugs xxx
    • Munchin
    • By Munchin 9th Oct 17, 8:13 PM
    • 2,063 Posts
    • 5,921 Thanks
    Munchin
    Hi Hidden

    Can’t offer much advice but have nightmares now & again and thankfully they seem to go when stress reduces in my life.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 9th Oct 17, 8:22 PM
    • 8,013 Posts
    • 41,435 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    Oh Hidden poor you - that must be absolutely horrible, especially that it's leaving you feeling scared to go to sleep.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

494Posts Today

4,432Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • I was surprised to see the three people in front of me in the newsagents were all shocked their old £1 coins were no longer taken.

  • RT @natdebtline: If you?ve been visited by a bailiff since April 2014 we want to hear your story for our #bailiffreform campaign https://t.?

  • Well so far it seems there's one thing remainers and leavers agree on - the EU is getting the better of the negotia? https://t.co/70z5ffpG8S

  • Follow Martin