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  • FIRST POST
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...
    • #1
    • 9th May 17, 12:47 PM
    When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up... 9th May 17 at 12:47 PM
    I'm back again, worse than ever to be honest. Things all hit a head in March and along with help being needed in other areas than financial I realised that the money side of things are a big issue in fixing things elsewhere.

    Although not posting I have been reading the diaries I have followed, so many who helped along when I first started are happily debt free now. I want to join them one day, both in being debt free and in happiness.

    Our finances on paper while tight look okay. However we both smoke and my OH is not very responsible. At all. I fell into a gambling issue which I've sought help for and not a penny has gone on gambling since March.

    Our household is me (Not working, our youngest has complicated health issues), My OH he works full time with over time, and 3 delightful children

    I will make a seperate post for my debts/goals and then one with our SOA when I've completed it.

    Hope I can stay around to sort myself, the debt and the happiness thing out.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Page 115
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 3rd Oct 17, 8:31 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Interesting on the bleach! Will stop and see how we go. Thank you.

    A stupidly busy day. I've just sat down. walked around 19 miles My legs burn!

    EH we don't eat real cheese I don't actually follow a diet I just want to lose a few more lbs after being encouraged with the recent weight loss!

    Oh and worst mum award def goes to me today. All the kids have had this cold and cough. DD has had hers lingering and asked me to take her to the Dr. Sent them all to school, got DD an emergency appointment for 10am, picked her up walked to DR, waited over 50 mins to be seen!! She has a chest infection Felt awful!! By the time this was done, we where late to pick youngest up! Rushed back to school to drop DD in and collect a heartbroken youngest because I'd forgot her

    That just set the day behind. I hate being late. HATE it. I've been so cross with myself and feeling guilty all day!
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 3rd Oct 17, 10:12 PM
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    missymoo81
    Interesting on the bleach! Will stop and see how we go. Thank you.

    A stupidly busy day. I've just sat down. walked around 19 miles My legs burn!

    EH we don't eat real cheese I don't actually follow a diet I just want to lose a few more lbs after being encouraged with the recent weight loss!

    Oh and worst mum award def goes to me today. All the kids have had this cold and cough. DD has had hers lingering and asked me to take her to the Dr. Sent them all to school, got DD an emergency appointment for 10am, picked her up walked to DR, waited over 50 mins to be seen!! She has a chest infection Felt awful!! By the time this was done, we where late to pick youngest up! Rushed back to school to drop DD in and collect a heartbroken youngest because I'd forgot her

    That just set the day behind. I hate being late. HATE it. I've been so cross with myself and feeling guilty all day!
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Oh sugar I know how you feel, it's an awful feeling isn't it. You're far from a bad mum. A bad mum wouldn't have even thought of taking DD to the Drs, and you couldn't help being late. I too absolutely hate being late but t couldn't be helped my dear and you did get her and took her home and no doubt fed her and bathed her and loved her. Go easy on yourself. Sometimes life just gets in the way of the way we want things to be. But it doesn't mean you've failed. Chin up lovely x
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 4th Oct 17, 5:16 AM
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    Purplemumof2
    Hi, you're not a bad mum honestly.

    I totally sympathise where you're coming from though.

    Hope DD is feeling better soon xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7250.00 Cap 1: £529.05 BC: £5196.94

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    • monz
    • By monz 4th Oct 17, 9:16 AM
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    monz
    You are most defo not a bad mum!!! Never think that think of all things you are doing for them and that <3 xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
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    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 4th Oct 17, 9:18 AM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Everyone in school and housework done. Just having 10 minutes to myself with a cuppa before ironing and remaking the beds.

    There's a workshop on healthy eating at school today but I can't go I think there's something at least once a week asking parents in. I feel bad but surely they can't expect parents to take time off work so often? I'm sure it was never this much when the older ones where smaller

    We are on the countdown to half term, it always feels so long waiting for this half term. I'm going to look for halloween costumes this weekend so I can be prepared, plus they can take them away with us to use for the halloween party there. Might as well get more than one use out of them
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 4th Oct 17, 10:02 AM
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    Purplemumof2
    I find that with schools, there's always something on! Don't feel bad that you can't go.

    Have a great day xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7250.00 Cap 1: £529.05 BC: £5196.94

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • DrSpendLittle
    • By DrSpendLittle 4th Oct 17, 10:37 AM
    • 140 Posts
    • 355 Thanks
    DrSpendLittle
    Have a great day Hidden and don’t beat yourself up too much!! You are doing such a fantastic job at the debt slaying and building some really solid foundations for your little family. Think of where you will be in 5 years time - that will get you through all the bumps and knocks you may face! xx
    Since 01-09-17: CC1: £1,135.22/£1,253.73 | CC2: £600/£9,124.15 | CC3: £312.34/£312.34 | Car Finance: £315.82/£1,894.92 Short Term CC Goal: £2,047.56/£4,000 by 1st Jan 2018 (51.18%) | Total Debt Repayments: £2,363.38/£12,585.14 (18.78%)
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 4th Oct 17, 11:00 AM
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    EssexHebridean
    Of course the school shouldn't expect parents to be constantly taking time off work to attend this sort of stuff, how ludicrous! Absolutely nothing to feel bad about - it needs folk to stand up and say "No - this is silly" to make them stop though - making parents feel guilty like that is appalling.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
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    • jwil
    • By jwil 4th Oct 17, 1:39 PM
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    jwil
    You are doing great HI, don't beat yourself up.

    I can't believe how many events there are on at school, it's hard not to feel bad about attending, but there's no way we can take all that time off!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 4th Oct 17, 2:50 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    I spoke to school I felt a bit bad but it is unfair on us who can't attend all the time! I just said DS had brought up how some parents attend every week and I don't and that I don't think it's very fair on those who can't take time off work to attend. Its something they are going to reconsider

    It's not even like my kids have a grandparent that can attend as they work FT too!

    Just having a quick cuppa before heading to collect the bigger two from school (in the rain ) Roast chicken for dinner tonight it's already cooking and smells so good! We were supposed to be visiting my sister but I can't be bothered with more walking in the rain so think we will come home and get early showers and pjs and watch some TV.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 4th Oct 17, 2:52 PM
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    EssexHebridean
    MASSIVE well done for you being brave enough to speak up on that one Hidden - I bet there are masses of parents at the school all feeling the same way too. Bearing in mind how many people are far younger as grandparents these days I suspect the days of GP's attending school stuff in lieu of parents has pretty much gone in any event!

    Roast chicken - yum! Making me feel hungry just thinking about that smell!
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£544.67 (17/10/17)
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 4th Oct 17, 2:55 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    I really didn't want to I must admit, but I can't have DS feeling left out She said no one has said anything before! The majority do seem to have parents at home though! Infact I commented to a friend how many seem to have both parents there for drop off/pick up and things that need attending. I know I shouldn't feel bad against those who can and do have them there that often but I do
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 4th Oct 17, 8:08 PM
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    missymoo81
    Hidden it's funny you should say that. As me and s friend were discussing this on Monday, as we both work, albeit part time but I have 7 things to attend over 3 weeks at the school! And I desperately want to, but it's so hard. And the guilt is awful. OH can't attend as he's away, grandparents live 45 mins away or work. I've been to the school for events 3 X today!!!!! So on my day off I've had very little time to actually do anything. And I feel Massive guilt as my mum never bothered herself to ever come to any of my events so I feel the absolute overwhelming need to go to everything but obviously I have to work it's so difficult. Well done on saying something!

    I hope you've had a nice evening. I hate walking in the rain, dragging the children along. Hope you're cosy and warm in your pjs. X
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 4th Oct 17, 8:09 PM
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    UncannyScot
    Hey missus... you ROCK
    You are a supermum... never forget that
    (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 4th Oct 17, 8:43 PM
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    Sun Addict
    Yes you are a super fab mum xx

    Schools need to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century and realise that the majority of mums aren't floating around sipping coffee they are doing that thing called working that pays the bills. Sorry, but it gets me angry and has done since my two were at school.
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    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Oct 17, 8:59 PM
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    HairyHandofDartmoor
    This is why I'm glad my three have all left school ! The amount of time and money that schools extort from parents is never ending (primary schools are the chief culprits) and you are made to feel guilty if you're not constantly contributing both

    You are an excellent mum HI and you have no need to feel guilty about anything.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
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    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 4th Oct 17, 10:53 PM
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    Honeysucklelou2
    Perhaps yours was the quiet word needed to make a difference.

    To be fair, the schools I've worked in are very aware that most parents work, to the point that we struggle to get enough parent helpers for trips etc.
    Last edited by Honeysucklelou2; 04-10-2017 at 10:56 PM.
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    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 5th Oct 17, 12:04 AM
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    armchairexpert
    Our school doesn't assume that those sorts of workshops or information sessions are going to be well attended. They're there for those who find them useful, but in a school of 200 students, we usually assume that maybe 20-40 parents will turn up? And that's the evening ones! I wouldn't bother with a workshop on healthy eating, your kids' diet is excellent as it is. It's just time wasting.
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
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    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 5th Oct 17, 6:14 AM
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    missymoo81
    Morning lovely. Hope you're ok, have a good Thursday x
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 5th Oct 17, 12:40 PM
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    Hiddenidenity
    Thank you for all the lovely replies, sorry didn't pop in this morning have agreed to work earlier/finish earlier to do the cooking side of things so mobile staff are only needed for service (easier than showing a different person everyday what needs baking/what goes where etc)

    School seem to be listening and are going to speak to me later, she said its never been said before and they usually have a good turn out because of the 'area' we live in work isn't usually an issue

    Exoh mum stopped in this morning with some jigsaws (put away for xmas ) and gave me £20 to get her a school photo. I'm shocked she's never wanted one before.

    I feel a bit lost being home at this time I have nothing to do really until I pick the smalls up from school.

    Nationw!de emailed this morning confirming the lovely Mse'rs switch went through and I'll receive the £100 incentive within 10 working days. That will help massively so a big thank you to lovely mse people

    Another lovely MSE'r sent me a voucher for washing powder so going to pick that up on my way home later (nice smelling washing is a big thing for me ) So another thing that I'm very grateful for x
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
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