Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • shannondouglas1
    • By shannondouglas1 28th Apr 17, 9:03 PM
    • 21Posts
    • 3Thanks
    shannondouglas1
    When you were younger , how many children did you want to have?
    • #1
    • 28th Apr 17, 9:03 PM
    When you were younger , how many children did you want to have? 28th Apr 17 at 9:03 PM
    When you were like 16/17 and thinking about your future , how many children did you see yourself having?
Page 5
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 18th May 17, 5:28 PM
    • 4,288 Posts
    • 43,447 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Wanted 4. Had 3: 2 girls, 1 boy. Sadly second daughter was killed aged 30, but still lucky enough to have daughter of 49 and son of 45, so very blessed.
    Originally posted by doreenbarker
    So sorry to hear that you lost one of your daughters, Doreen Barker. (((hugs)))
    Keeping it AF
    • Ponsienella
    • By Ponsienella 18th May 17, 11:05 PM
    • 103 Posts
    • 23 Thanks
    Ponsienella
    When I was 16/17 I never wanted children ...and I haven't any. I have wondered over the years whether I'd regret it but, now I'm past child-bearing age, I'm so glad that I have no regrets.

    I do like other people's children - just didn't want my own. I have a 9 year old nephew whose behaviour makes me extremely grateful I didn't have any.
    • Christine money
    • By Christine money 18th May 17, 11:56 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Christine money
    NONE! Interesting that quite a lot said none and quite a lot stuck to it.Why are we then overrun with children and classed as unnatural or selfish if we haven't got a single maternal bone in our body?The world is too full already.Wear a condom.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 19th May 17, 6:57 AM
    • 16,914 Posts
    • 41,046 Thanks
    Pollycat
    NONE! Interesting that quite a lot said none and quite a lot stuck to it.Why are we then overrun with children and classed as unnatural or selfish if we haven't got a single maternal bone in our body?The world is too full already.Wear a condom.
    Originally posted by Christine money
    Maybe because some people breed more copiously than rabbits.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2306741/Jobless-mother-10-vows-having-babies-despite-cuts-30-000-year-benefits.html
    • Livelongandprosper
    • By Livelongandprosper 19th May 17, 7:48 AM
    • 587 Posts
    • 1,535 Thanks
    Livelongandprosper
    Hardly sad, really - I just don't see the appeal of either kids, or parenthood. What's sad is other people trying to force their opinions down my throat. I think it's them projecting their misery, as happy parents never seem to question my decision to be childfree, only the outwardly miserable ones do it.

    If cutting totall toxic people out of my life is also sad, be assured that my personal happiness and mental health is miles better now than when I was trying to do everything to please two nasty, self-centred, small minded people who just happened to be my parents.
    Originally posted by DFlights

    I meant it was sad that people had said such terrible things to you for not wanting children, not that you cut out toxic people from your life
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 19th May 17, 8:12 AM
    • 1,001 Posts
    • 1,108 Thanks
    Silvertabby
    We're childless by choice, and have never regretted our decision. I've been told that I'm 'selfish cow' and ' a failure as a woman' (not from my parents) but just shrug it all off.

    A dear friend desperately wants children, but years of trying and heartbreak have come to nothing. She gets the same comments but can't shrug them off.
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 22nd May 17, 12:14 PM
    • 9,404 Posts
    • 101,495 Thanks
    LameWolf
    Hardly sad, really - I just don't see the appeal of either kids, or parenthood. What's sad is other people trying to force their opinions down my throat. I think it's them projecting their misery, as happy parents never seem to question my decision to be childfree, only the outwardly miserable ones do it.

    If cutting totall toxic people out of my life is also sad, be assured that my personal happiness and mental health is miles better now than when I was trying to do everything to please two nasty, self-centred, small minded people who just happened to be my parents.
    Originally posted by DFlights
    I happen to agree with you. I am at best "uncomfortable" around children; I was also an unwanted child myself (my mother told me this straight out); I was also abused continually over many years by my father.
    So when the opportunity came to remove myself from any contact with my blood relatives, I took it.
    I am thankful that I never experienced the extreme reaction to choosing to be childfree that you have.
    I have to also confess to finding something urgent to do in another room when new mothers brought in their babies to the office.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • startingout2016
    • By startingout2016 22nd May 17, 12:21 PM
    • 97 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    startingout2016
    I didnt want children when I was a teenager.

    Started thinking about wanting a family at around 23, and hoped to have a child by the time I was late 20's.
    Ideally wanted 2 at that point.

    Now I am 32 and expecting my first and possibly my only.
    • ringo_24601
    • By ringo_24601 22nd May 17, 3:09 PM
    • 16,640 Posts
    • 26,919 Thanks
    ringo_24601
    Wanted 2. Had 2. Wife would have liked a 3rd I think, but money/time wasn't on our side.
    • catkins
    • By catkins 22nd May 17, 5:58 PM
    • 5,340 Posts
    • 11,131 Thanks
    catkins
    As a woman who at a very early age decided children were most definitely off the agenda - this was at a time when it was very much the norm for women to have children and leave work to bring them up - I've never experienced anything like you describe.

    If my co-workers or family asked when I was going to start a family, I answered 'I'm not intending to and no, I won't change my mind' and that was accepted.

    Maybe the difference in attitude towards me and you is because of part of your first sentence:

    I actually do like kids, just never wanted any of my own.
    Always interested in looking at babies brought into work by new Mums (as long as I wasn't expected to hold it ).
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    I really like children and have never said I didn't but have had some very rude and cruel things said to me over the years when I have told people I don't want/don't have children.

    I have been told I am not normal, asked why I got married if I don't want children, told I am selfish, asked who is going to look after me when I am old and also told that if my OH dies before me I am going to be old and lonely!

    Some of the comments have been said by literally strangers - people that have struck up a conversation at a bus stop or somewhere and ask how many children I have.

    Now in my early 60's I am being asked how many grandchildren I have! It never ends does it?
    The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie
    • lincroft1710
    • By lincroft1710 22nd May 17, 6:09 PM
    • 9,181 Posts
    • 7,025 Thanks
    lincroft1710

    Now in my early 60's I am being asked how many grandchildren I have! It never ends does it?
    Originally posted by catkins
    Just tell them you're not sure as you've lost contact with 15 of your children!
    • ripplyuk
    • By ripplyuk 22nd May 17, 9:26 PM
    • 1,570 Posts
    • 1,470 Thanks
    ripplyuk
    I never wanted any. I knew that by the time I was 9yo. I'm now in my thirties and still don't want any. I'm happy with my decision, though I do get fed up with the constant remarks about how I'll regret it later if I don't start making babies now.

    At certain times as a teenager, I did consider that I might have one (just one!) if I eventually ended up with a very wealthy man. I was thinking nanny/boarding school etc. That hasn't happened.
    • Misty Blue
    • By Misty Blue 23rd May 17, 3:06 AM
    • 813 Posts
    • 2,502 Thanks
    Misty Blue
    None. I'm now 38 and have changed my mind not one bit. I had an elective sterilisation at 34 and it was one of the best things I ever did. I would have done it years before, but various doctors seemed to believe an intelligent, educated woman can't possibly know her own mind.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

215Posts Today

1,140Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Just a quick ta-ta for now. I'm taking the week off for family time with mini and Mrs MSE. So I won't be here much. Back after the bank hol

  • Ugh another one trying it! Beware https://t.co/Ab9fCRA76F

  • Just looking at the final(ish) Premier League table. The gap between the top seven and the rest is huge. Has it ever been more lopsided?

  • Follow Martin