Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 20th Apr 17, 3:59 PM
    • 4,582Posts
    • 25,681Thanks
    in need of direction
    A whole new world, for now
    • #1
    • 20th Apr 17, 3:59 PM
    A whole new world, for now 20th Apr 17 at 3:59 PM
    So, hereís the new thread Iíve been promising myself for a few months. My old one, that served me so well, is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4855808

    A potted history of me. Iím 49, live in NI with OH, DD and dog and DS is London based.
    Have been in debt for a lot of my life and came here post personal debt but with the aim to clear my mortgage. I believe DFD to be the right place for me as a lot of whatís outstanding on the mortgage related to consolidation of other debts. The rates were lower and I just didnít consider the payback period.
    Having been a wage slave for some 30 years, I recently jacked in my well paid and secure job for a number of reasons. While I love what I do, I hated the environment in which I did it. I regularly travelled 6 hours a day, on my own time and had to ask others to do likewise. That was the downside about caring for my clients. While I continued, and got others, to deliver at the expense of my home life, my health and my finances, the firm continued to let me. I decided that Iíd sooner have some self respect than stay there. We also had an unexpected and untimely family bereavement last year which sparked the whole ďlifeís too shortĒ train of thought. The downside is this is the first time since I was 17 that I donít have an income and itís a big adjustment.
    To address this, Iíve decided to go the self employed route, for now (hence the title). One problem though is timing. We have booked a holiday in May for OHís big birthday and Iíve decided that is set in stone. We will be travelling half way round the world for two weeks to initially see pandas and then the delights of Tokyo. Weíve only been together just over 10 years so this is really our first landmark birthday to be properly celebrated, we were still bedding in last big date.
    So, work wise, Iíve created my website, taken out a separate mobile contract and opened a business bank account. Iíve also registered with HMRC to keep things tidy.
    Otherwise, since being unemployed, Iíve had a parking ticket refunded, gained a free overnight stay following a complaint to a hotel that disappointed and have signed up for a new loyalty card for my local Co-Op. I also switched to a cheaper mobile service and got my boiler serviced which restored the hot water! First world pleasure that is so easy to overlook. I've donated two bikes to a local charity, done a number of strolls to offload donations to charity shop, claimed topcashback, £20 from PA, £5 swagbucks voucher and am trying to declutter. My last car went with the job so I realised what a paucity of local shops there in despite being only 15 mins by bus from the city centre.
    The lack of car was proving to be an issue for family and other reasons so today we get a PCH car delivered that we have committed to for 4 years. This takes us into the realm of needing to use the mortgage off set savings to fund expenses. It also gives me a minimum level of income to achieve as eating into savings bothers me.
    So, whatís the plan?
    I lodged £2000 in my business bank account at the start of March and most of it is still there. By September, Iíd like to have this repaid to either the savings or the mortgage or to have secured an income stream that will enable that to happen shortly thereafter. Iíd also like a £1k buffer in the business account to make sure that I can take advantage of opportunities as they arise.
    I have applied for a few part time consultancy type posts, been unsuccessful at interview for the first, but will actively seek out these opportunities. Iíve provided associates with my contact details but come June, I will start more actively promoting myself. Iíve sought input from my LA business support services but to little avail so far. Iíve attended a few courses and networking events and will continue with these to keep some kind of a profile and, post holiday, will be creating an event that will hopefully income generate and/or build profile.
    I will continue to seek out vouchers and deals and will try to live cheaply but donít feel I can ask this of the others in the house as giving up the job was down to me. I will also get rid of extraneous items, for cash where possible.
    What I can see is that despite living semi frugally, or so I believed, we wasted A LOT!
    Today my outstanding mortgage is £83,478.58. By 31 Dec, based on just making standard payments, this will be £78,900. My target is for this to be £75,000.
    Today my available off set pot is £3,415.43. By 31 Dec, Iíd like this to be at £5,500.
    The truth is Iíd like the first figure to be a lot lower and the second to be a lot higher but I need to start somewhere.
    We still have our emergency fund intact and hopefully enough in the current account to address our living expenses shortfall at least to the year end. Spends for the holiday are ringfenced with any left overs going on extras for all.
    I have to confess to having what Iíve heard described as an internal Verucca Salt! When I want it, I want it now. I need to learn some restraint both in terms of shopping and also sugar consumption. Itís weird but one thing |I really struggle with is what to have for lunch.
    Anyhow, now that the car is here, Iím off to the dry cleaners and to pick up some groceries as I have a £5 voucher off a £25 shop. I may also buy a new toilet brush!
    Today I am grateful for
    The support I have consistently received from here

    Company from the dog

    E Mail
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
Page 16
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 28th Aug 17, 8:22 AM
    • 1,885 Posts
    • 8,557 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Today I am grateful for
    Progress while accepting that there just isn't the resource for perfection
    One more item decluttered
    Organisation starting to creep in
    Pizza!
    Originally posted by in need of direction
    A great reasons to be grateful list. Have a good day
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/September 2017=5,500
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 28th Aug 17, 7:28 PM
    • 47,264 Posts
    • 169,940 Thanks
    beanielou
    Pass some pizza
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 31st Aug 17, 8:33 AM
    • 4,582 Posts
    • 25,681 Thanks
    in need of direction
    The pizza was well and truly demolished along with all other types of junk food. My guests want to eat from various local spots that dn remembers from childhood visits. So far this week we have done giants causeway, rope bridge, game of thrones locations inc the dark hedges, a city tour and titanic. I'm shattered. Yesterday I had two work meetings to fit in, I still have a report to get out and I've a skype conference call at four today. Today I must also leave the car in for repair. I hope pick up time doesn't clash with the call. I am tired and slept really badly last night. Not good! I have also lost track of financial matters and am yet again being messed about by hmrc. This time they have written to me confirming that I have opted out of the need to submit a tax return and have threatened to fine me if this isn't right. I want to see or hear the notification as, yet again, this was not made by me. I'm in dublin next mon to Thursday so need to get this sorted today or face international charges. This is really stressing me out. If I had the money, I'd go to a tax advisor and then seek reimbursement of their fee but. I don't have ready access to cover their charge.
    We need to withdraw from the emergency fund this month. I'd previously advised OH but I'm not sure if he made the arrangements. It's all feeling like a very precarious house of cards and I'm not coping well.

    Also, although dn isn't just mine but is related to the entire family, they haven't made an effort. This includes cousins her own age who could have provided evening entertainment but haven't. One sister called up yesterday even though she was advised we were under time pressures with her two small grandsons who wrecked havoc, kept us late and then suggested that my niece links up with another niece next week before heading back overseas. She has three children around my niece's age but wouldn't expect them to exert themselves on her behalf. She also asked if I'd called round the family to prompt them. My entire family were advised last week as to when she would be here. As for my mother, I brought my niece and her boyfriend down the first night they arrived and she threw out major hints about where she would like to go for dinner which is 30 miles each way. I said I, the driver, wouldn't be going as I have work stuff on. She's now saying that her mobility is too poor for her to go out to dinner with them even though a cab would pick her up and deliver her home. I'm so annoyed but tues was more than 100 miles, tomorrow will probably be around 300 miles of driving and I'm tired. I will not feel guilty. She is just being a cow!

    Anyhow, here endeth the rant. Today I am grateful for
    My long suffering other half
    Getting car repair on the only free day for the next two weeks
    Positive feedback yesterday from a client
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 5th Sep 17, 5:45 PM
    • 685 Posts
    • 2,117 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    It sounds like a tough time . I know you are busy so we won't expect much updating for a while but I hope you're okay.

    Has DN gone now? And where are you at with HMRC?
    • Happierdays
    • By Happierdays 5th Sep 17, 6:10 PM
    • 74 Posts
    • 157 Thanks
    Happierdays
    Ah... families eh?!?!? Good to have a rant sometimes inod!
    All the best to you x
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 6th Sep 17, 8:08 AM
    • 1,885 Posts
    • 8,557 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Lack of sleep makes everything feel worse. I hope you slept well last night
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/September 2017=5,500
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 6th Sep 17, 1:24 PM
    • 810 Posts
    • 4,140 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Hi inod - I have found your new diary! Didn't realise you had one until I read your last post so have now subscribed. You've had so much going on, but I'm pleased to hear that you left the job that was so toxic and depressing you so much. And all the very best for your new venture - it must be so hard to give up a regular salary and jump into something new from scratch, but very brave. You've more nerve than I will ever have!

    Also sorry to hear you are still having problems with your Mum/family and hope HMRC gets sorted out. You've certainly gone gangbusters on the de-cluttering though!

    SSG x
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 16th Sep 17, 11:38 AM
    • 4,582 Posts
    • 25,681 Thanks
    in need of direction
    My OH is being a !!!!. Right now I want to throttle him and tell him to grow a backbone where his parents are concerned. I've had a busy and spendy few weeks. Last week and first half of this week was work. We had a weekend in London from sat to mon. Was thinking of SSG and wondering how people put themselves through that commute every day. One element of big project firmed up but others further away than ever. We caught up with and fed DS in between his mini break to Italy and his Spanish stag party this weekend.
    On the spends side, still no work income received but I did get and rapidly banked my tax rebate. Also got a completely unsatisfactory response to my foi request to hmrc. When will these people grasp the concept of accountability?
    We managed to keep London costs quite low but that meant forgoing certain treats that we would normally have had. I did a top up shop on Thursday as it was the last day of my £5 off a £25 spend. There was little needed so I commenced building the Christmas goodie cupboard with the purchase of a tin of chocolate kimberley. Isn't it weird how someone (me) with no willpower can have Christmas stuff in the house and not dream of touching it.
    I am wildly excited to have learnt how to keep bananas from turning black with the use of cling film around the stem. I hate food waste so this is a big plus. On a similar vein, I rescued pears from DS who has an absolute glut so today will be googling what I can do with these with what is in the house.
    The house resembles a laundry due to trying to dry clothes without giving in an turning on the heat. This month I have a nephew's wedding. We aren't close and my invite is only to an evening reception and I'm in a quandary re how much to give him as a present. They refused to do a wedding list thereby making money the only option.
    I'm continuing with my executive coaching, we skyped last night. It's quite scary some of the more life coach stuff it's throwing up. I just need a way to work through it. One big thing is how my weight makes me feel so we are trying an approach to help with that. Mr Wii will comment on that tomorrow.
    Btw, got a win of a video game week before last and this week scored additional sb via a promotion that gained me an additional £10 voucher. PA is also going well.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th Sep 17, 2:48 PM
    • 47,264 Posts
    • 169,940 Thanks
    beanielou
    Keep me posted if you dont mind on the weight resolution~~if there is such a thing.
    Badly worded by me.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 17th Sep 17, 10:16 AM
    • 4,582 Posts
    • 25,681 Thanks
    in need of direction
    I'll keep you posted beanie. One thought that my coaching friend gave that has resonated with me is this
    Ask yourself what you are saying no to when you say yes to something

    It's a good thought to have when you're in front of the biscuit cupboard. If you're saying no to a strong, healthy body, is the biscuit or half packet of Jaffa cakes really worth it?
    Anyhow, today I need to stock up on porridge, eggs, mushrooms so will visit Iceland. Tomorrow I will be indulging in preparation for dd's return as sparks has given my £5 off a £35 spend and I have £30 in vouchers from SB. Sparks is also giving me £1 off a 3 for £7 offer that OH is partial to and that freezes well.
    Today is supposed to be shockingly rain free so there's laundry to be done. Also various household tasks need attention so onwards and upwards.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • parsniphead
    • By parsniphead 17th Sep 17, 10:21 AM
    • 2,163 Posts
    • 13,645 Thanks
    parsniphead
    Biscuits are bad but Jaffa Cakes at evil. They have this power to make you eat at least half a packet.

    That's a good thought thought. It just needs to be foremost in your head when it needs to be.
    My August to Christmas challenge:.
    Pay off £2500 debt - £806/2500 32.24%
    Completely declutter the house by Christmas day...all of it.

    Nothing should be wasted on the self-sufficient holding. The dustman should never have to call. John Seymour
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 17th Sep 17, 4:08 PM
    • 810 Posts
    • 4,140 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Was thinking of SSG and wondering how people put themselves through that commute every day..
    Originally posted by in need of direction
    I think I've being doing it for so many years now inod it's like being on auto pilot! My line isn't too bad and I always get a seat but some of my colleagues who live in Kent/Surrey have been having an appalling time with their rail commutes.

    Sorry to hear that OH is being a bit wimpy with the relatives again but thanks for the banana tip! Re the nephews wedding - if you're not close and it's an evening invite - £25? And a voucher rather than cash? Hopefully via some sort of Cashback site?

    Hope the work income picks up for you though the life coaching seems positive. That pesky weight business though! It's the downfall of us all! Let us know if you have a breakthrough here!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 17th Sep 17, 8:02 PM
    • 47,264 Posts
    • 169,940 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good idea on voucher for nephew's wedding.
    I hate this asking for money malarky.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 17th Sep 17, 8:56 PM
    • 1,885 Posts
    • 8,557 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    Another yes for the voucher idea
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/September 2017=5,500
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 18th Sep 17, 9:30 AM
    • 4,582 Posts
    • 25,681 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Hadn't thought of a voucher. Pondering! So, we got laundry done yesterday while OH struggled, manfully!, with a cold. We ended up with a take away last night because he had a nap, then didn't want to wait on what was planned, etc. etc. I however left over a third of mine and he's used it with a salad for today's lunch. He also photographed stuff to go on the bay and worked out postage costs, etc but didn't get anything listed. I really don't get why he doesn't relist stuff already prepared first. At least there would be somethings possibly exiting the house. Equally,he doesn't photograph everything at once. It all just seems so inefficient to me.

    I baked some pear and walnut bread yesterday to make use of the pears and I stuck to the recipe. I think it lacked flavour so, if I make it again, I would up the spice.

    I also achieved a small but quite time consuming task in the bedroom. Part of my coaching requires me to look at tolerations. It highlighted something within my ability to change, that I'd tolerated for more than 25 years. How ridiculous is that.
    Today I'm meeting my cancer friend for lunch. Today is her 11th day out of hospital. I think that's the longest stretch since July so that's good news. This evening I restart the ten week jog programme. I'm a tad embarrassed but the guys are so lovely even if they will give me a bit of abuse.

    And the amazingly big news is, I lost 4lbs over the past two weeks. I need to update my sig with that and my current balances.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 18th Sep 17, 8:53 PM
    • 47,264 Posts
    • 169,940 Thanks
    beanielou
    Wow. WEll done you on the 4 lbs
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 18th Sep 17, 9:34 PM
    • 4,582 Posts
    • 25,681 Thanks
    in need of direction
    today I did the M&S run. got various whoopsied items and via coupons and offers, i spent £11 on £50 of goods. I cried off lunch as i couldn't co-ordinate times with meals. was also gonna duck jog club but in the end, i went and am glad I did. 5% of the way to the 5k. got home to find OH had cut the grass front and back. I also did what my coach friend had given me to do and uploaded an article onto linked in. i'm now checking it for likes! fingers crossed something will come of it.
    today i am grateful for
    friendliness
    a full fridge and store cupboard
    positive feedback
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 18th Sep 17, 10:52 PM
    • 810 Posts
    • 4,140 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Well done on the weight loss inod Hope the linked in post proves successful.

    SSG x
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"
    • doingitanyway
    • By doingitanyway 19th Sep 17, 6:14 PM
    • 1,885 Posts
    • 8,557 Thanks
    doingitanyway
    4lbs is great. Well done
    JANUARY 2016/SECURED DEBT=24,822/September 2017=5,500
    MORTGAGE FREE 25/07/16
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 20th Sep 17, 11:09 PM
    • 4,582 Posts
    • 25,681 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Met a friend for lunch and we visited a recently enlarged lidl. The pain of having to walk past rows and rows of lovely breads. The weather here has been dreadful so OH was brought to and from work today. We made it home in time for me to go to jog club and it stayed relatively dry for that hour. Called in with mother this afternoon. It wasn't great. I don't know if she's being obtuse about some things or is becoming forgetful. Either way, it isn't good.
    Today I am grateful for
    A handmade gift from a friend's daughter, completely unexpected and lovely
    A warm shower after my run
    My OH just for being here.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £81,750.18, target £75,000 by 31/12/17 Offset fund today £3,975.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/17
    Emergency fund £4.5/5.5k & £25/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 2/34 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,877Posts Today

7,967Users online

Martin's Twitter