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  • FIRST POST
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 15th Apr 17, 4:34 PM
    • 1,027Posts
    • 1,036Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    Weight getting me down
    • #1
    • 15th Apr 17, 4:34 PM
    Weight getting me down 15th Apr 17 at 4:34 PM
    I decided to post on this board rather than health and fitness because my issue is that my weight is now impacting on my family relationships.
    As a child,teenager and young adult I was slim. However at around 27/28 I started putting on weight. I'm now 5 stone heavier than when I met my husband. I always thought I'd deal with it at some point but just never had the drive. I'm not even sure why I gained the weight.
    However I now feel quite down because of the way my mum looks at me and constantly tells me its bad for my health, I need to lose weight, I should eat less etc. I know she is right but feeling that my mum is embarrassed / disappointed in me, really hurts. The photo of me at my parents house is 14 years old. I'm sure its because they are embarrassed to display a recent 'fat' photo.
    I've tried slimming world / NHS plan but my problem is sticking to it. I don't seem to have the willpower. I'm now worried about getting unwell and these years of comments have really knocked my confidence. I feel ugly and as though I haven't achieved anything.
    Has anyone tried counseling? Could my gp help or do I just need to man up?!
Page 8
    • JP08
    • By JP08 19th Apr 17, 8:57 AM
    • 829 Posts
    • 891 Thanks
    JP08
    Seeing the comment about fitness reminded me of a friends dad. He was extremely overweight, and the doctor basically told him to move more and get the weight off or he'd be dead within a few years. He simply started walking every day - doing basically a lap of the town boundaries (a distance that comes in at best part of ten miles). To say that the weight practically fell off him was an understatement - he was visibly reducing week by week. And he enjoyed it - the number of people he met and regularly spoke to, and being nosy about all the changes going on.
    • meer53
    • By meer53 19th Apr 17, 9:09 AM
    • 8,772 Posts
    • 12,742 Thanks
    meer53
    Well stop reading and commenting then.

    How do you know they don't?

    I agree that it is entirely up to an individual what they want to do.

    I don't agree that diets work. In 95% of cases they don't.

    Or, if you want me to agree with you, yes, they do work (long term) - in 5% of cases.

    Edited to add - As I have said previously, I am not in any way belittling any individual who follows a diet plan.
    Originally posted by Anoneemoose
    How do you know that they do ?

    You ARE belittling a diet plan that helps thousands of people lose weight, just because you don't agree with the way it works doesn't mean that it doesnt work.
    • Anoneemoose
    • By Anoneemoose 19th Apr 17, 9:22 AM
    • 1,705 Posts
    • 2,094 Thanks
    Anoneemoose
    How do you know that they do ?

    You ARE belittling a diet plan that helps thousands of people lose weight, just because you don't agree with the way it works doesn't mean that it doesnt work.
    Originally posted by meer53
    No, I am not belittling the individual, I WAS the individual. It's the BUSINESS that is SW (and all of the others) that I have the issue with. Of course people will go where they think is the best thing and I don't blame them.

    I know that they do because scientific research shows that 'diets' don't work long term and SW is a diet. Research also shows that for the 95% who regain, they also often end up with disordered eating, like in the rebelfit example I posted.

    And yes, it may help people lose weight (I lost weight with them - a few times so I was 'successful'), but how many of those keep it off?? And IF it really did work, why are still in the midst of an 'obesity crisis'. Surely if it worked, people would go once and never need to go again. The whole diet industry model is set up to get people comig back again and again.

    And once again, I acknowledge there will be a small minority who keep the weight off. I know it's only anecdotal, but of all of my many friends and acquaintances, most of the female ones have at some point tried dieting (a mix of SW and WW, mostly SW). And I can tell you not one of those people have kept the weight off long term. Not one.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 19th Apr 17, 9:35 AM
    • 17,018 Posts
    • 42,927 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Not that anyone is hijacking OP's thread or anything....
    Originally posted by arbrighton
    I think this disagreement about Slimming World is detracting from the OP's thread.

    She has tried SW (and NHS plan) but the problem wasn't that it didn't work but that she didn't stick to it.
    To quote her:
    I tried slimming world and lost a stone but gained it plus extra when I took my eye off the ball.
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    She hasn't said she's going to try again with SW, she may try the 5:2 diet.
    She's restarted the exercise so hopefully that will help.

    Any diet plan may work for some people and not for others.

    Can we just support the OP in whatever she has decided to do.....

    Thanks
    • Pop Up Pirate
    • By Pop Up Pirate 19th Apr 17, 9:45 AM
    • 683 Posts
    • 1,815 Thanks
    Pop Up Pirate
    SW isn't a calorie controlled diet. You don't have to eat Mullerlights, HiFi bars (i find them inedible anyway) you can eat unprocessed foods. It's a personal choice and one that millions of SW members make, just as people who follow other methods do.

    Disordered eating is what makes people go to SW, if SW helps them then thats good, as is any type of plan that works for them. It's great the you've found a way of managing your food issues Anoneemoose but SW works for many people too, so knock SW all you like, it's still a much healthier way of eating for a lot of people who have issues with controlling their weight. You sound just as obssessive about your way of eating as any SW member does.
    Originally posted by meer53
    Slimming world most certainly IS a calorie controlled diet. They might not promote it as such, but it definitely is one.
    They say that as you eat better, you will naturally restrict calorie intake, therefore do not have to actively count calories out.
    However, the vast majority of people still overeat calories and therefore don't lose weight on SW.

    Slimming world also have their principle all backwards.

    Fat is needed for good health. And fat is naturally filling. It stops cravings, it reduced hunger and prevents sweet tooth. Refined carbs, however, are just converted to sugar in the body.
    Plus, their use of processed foods as 'free foods' is just ridiculous.
    Spray fry too is one of the worst things you can put into your body.

    SW is a profit driven company who rely on £££'s coming in from vulnerable people.
    Research food, what the body needs. Cut down on refined carbs, increase fat and noone need SW.
    • Pop Up Pirate
    • By Pop Up Pirate 19th Apr 17, 9:51 AM
    • 683 Posts
    • 1,815 Thanks
    Pop Up Pirate
    I don't understand that. To me it would be the same than saying that looking at a clock to balance your day is not natural. Doing it excessively isn't healthy, but getting on with life without ever looking at a clock is likely to mean you end up losing track of time.

    I see counting what you eat the same discipline. It's not about counting every individual calorie or even every meal, but keeping track of how much you put in your body is a good way of making sure you don't over do it without notice.

    Exercising in an interesting point. I know that many people control their weight with exercise. That's never worked for me. I do quite intense interval training 5/6 times a week as well as endurance, but increasing or decreasing how much I do makes no difference. My losing weight/putting on weight is fully dependent on how much I eat. This is probably one area where we are indeed all different.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    I think the point is that if we all ate a proper diet filled with natural, wholefoods, our bodies would take care of themselves without any need to count calories or watch anything.
    There would be no hunger, no cravings, no picking, no fancying sweet foods as we would all be entirely satisfied all of the time.

    I know I am and have lost 2 1/2 stones in 3 months. I eat tons of fat, no refined carbs, no processed foods etc Only ever eat wholefoods and am completely satisfied without ever counting a calorie or watching for syns etc.
    • Feebie
    • By Feebie 19th Apr 17, 10:26 AM
    • 56 Posts
    • 97 Thanks
    Feebie
    Another vote for finding an exercise that you enjoy!

    I hit a real low last year with respect to weight, body image etc. Started the 'walk 1000 miles in 2017' in Jan and love it. I really enjoy getting out for walks (it's my 'me time') and, whilst I have no idea if I've actually lost any weight (no scales), I look a little slimmer and, more importantly, I feel loads fitter.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 19th Apr 17, 10:47 AM
    • 12,404 Posts
    • 16,580 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    you dont enjoy it at the time doing it....when you finish you get chemicals in your brain making you feel happy..Why do you think people run long distances.?
    Originally posted by prosaver
    That's other people, not me.

    I used to do cross country running. I was in my house team. I hated it before, during and after. Evidently, my brain doesn't produce après exercise happy chemicals.
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 19th Apr 17, 11:16 AM
    • 2,393 Posts
    • 3,317 Thanks
    Malthusian
    Seeing the comment about fitness reminded me of a friends dad. He was extremely overweight, and the doctor basically told him to move more and get the weight off or he'd be dead within a few years. He simply started walking every day - doing basically a lap of the town boundaries (a distance that comes in at best part of ten miles). To say that the weight practically fell off him was an understatement - he was visibly reducing week by week. And he enjoyed it - the number of people he met and regularly spoke to, and being nosy about all the changes going on.
    Originally posted by JP08
    That's three hours of walking a day, maybe two and a half for a fast walker and a flat route. I'm not surprised it fell off. A good regime for a retired person but difficult for the OP who I'm guessing is in her 30s/40s.

    Walking is good exercise - generally a mile's walk is just as good for you as a mile's run. The only problem is that it takes twice as long, and few of us have the time or patience for two hours of exercise. Couch to 5k is worth a go for anyone who wants to exercise but thinks they can't run.
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 19th Apr 17, 11:30 AM
    • 7,492 Posts
    • 16,450 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    I absolutely love the Zombies Run app I'm a sucker for a good story!!

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 19th Apr 17, 12:16 PM
    • 1,400 Posts
    • 3,491 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    That's other people, not me.

    I used to do cross country running. I was in my house team. I hated it before, during and after. Evidently, my brain doesn't produce après exercise happy chemicals.
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    Running is dull dull dull. Repetitive, no brain work involved and actually not all that good for the body long term.

    A sport or activity that involves competition, strategy, skill, coordination, a goal is always going to be more involving and more fun and less dull.

    Rock climbing, horse riding, racket sports, team sports, martial arts, dancing, skiing, high diving, geocaching, there must be some kind of physical activity you could enjoy!
    • onlyroz
    • By onlyroz 19th Apr 17, 1:24 PM
    • 13,214 Posts
    • 25,176 Thanks
    onlyroz
    Alternatively, I burned over 500 calories just doing the gardening on Saturday. Hoovering the stairs and mopping the kitchen is also pretty good exercise.
    • Anoneemoose
    • By Anoneemoose 19th Apr 17, 1:29 PM
    • 1,705 Posts
    • 2,094 Thanks
    Anoneemoose
    I think this disagreement about Slimming World is detracting from the OP's thread.

    She has tried SW (and NHS plan) but the problem wasn't that it didn't work but that she didn't stick to it.
    To quote her:


    She hasn't said she's going to try again with SW, she may try the 5:2 diet.
    She's restarted the exercise so hopefully that will help.

    Any diet plan may work for some people and not for others.

    Can we just support the OP in whatever she has decided to do.....

    Thanks
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    OP also posted this - "Just knowing I am on some sort of plan makes me want to rebel. I constantly think of food and feel deprived."


    This is how diets affect people. She didn't stick to it, not because she took her eye off the ball, but because dieting leads to the diet/binge/diet cycle. Most people stick to diets in the short term, but not in the long term because they're not sustainable. This is an example of people believing they have failed, when in fact, it's the diet has failed. How many people 'start over again on Monday'? And binge eat on a Sunday in a 'last supper' fashion?

    In addition to this, as Pop Up Pirate says, SW is all about low fat and fat free, which is not healthy.

    But yes, I agree we should support OP in whatever she decides.
    Last edited by Anoneemoose; 19-04-2017 at 1:33 PM.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 19th Apr 17, 1:35 PM
    • 17,018 Posts
    • 42,927 Thanks
    Pollycat
    But yes, I agree we should support OP in whatever she decides.
    Originally posted by Anoneemoose
    And as she's not planning on doing the SW diet, let this be the end of pulling it down/defending it.

    It's simply not relevant to this thread.
    • Malthusian
    • By Malthusian 19th Apr 17, 3:36 PM
    • 2,393 Posts
    • 3,317 Thanks
    Malthusian
    Running is dull dull dull. Repetitive, no brain work involved and actually not all that good for the body long term.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    I could say that martial arts is painful, repetitive and causes brain damage and it would be equally wrong. (I do both.) Each to their own.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 19th Apr 17, 5:09 PM
    • 12,404 Posts
    • 16,580 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    I did some shooting today. Lying down.

    I feel much better.
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 19th Apr 17, 8:43 PM
    • 1,400 Posts
    • 3,491 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    I could say that martial arts is painful, repetitive and causes brain damage and it would be equally wrong. (I do both.) Each to their own.
    Originally posted by Malthusian
    If that's what you believed I would just expect that you would choose a form of exercise you do enjoy and that you don't feel to be too risky for your own comfort. I personally don't enjoy skiing or horse riding, but I still put them on the list as lots of people love them, even though there's a risk of broken bones and head injury.

    Why do runners get bent out of shape when somebody dares to suggest that running might not be the perfect, most blissful form of physical activity for everyone?
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 20th Apr 17, 12:12 AM
    • 16,945 Posts
    • 44,517 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    A few of you have mentioned the 5 / 2 diet so might give that a go. Messedup 10 stone that's amazing! Shows it can be done!
    I'm thinking of going to the gp also because I've started noticing a lot of facial hair. Can't deny that's getting me down as much as the weight! I wonder if the 2 things are connected and although I know my diet isn't great I do want to rule out any medical issues.
    I'm also making a point to drink more water as that's really helped in the past. Thanks again everyone for the support.
    Originally posted by Fireflyaway
    Alas hazyjo is right, don;t be well doneing me, i haven;t lost the 10st i still have it to lose

    So i have a very long way to go. Get back to me in a few years and hopefully you can congratulate me then

    Facial hair and weight gain (or difficulty losing) can be a sign of PCOS so maybe worth mentioning to your GP
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • castleton
    • By castleton 20th Apr 17, 7:18 AM
    • 311 Posts
    • 436 Thanks
    castleton
    Can I ask "why is Spray fry bad for you?"

    Thank you
    • meer53
    • By meer53 20th Apr 17, 8:29 AM
    • 8,772 Posts
    • 12,742 Thanks
    meer53
    Can I ask "why is Spray fry bad for you?"

    Thank you
    Originally posted by castleton
    Have you ever smelled it ?! It reeks of chemicals when you use it. Better to use small amounts of non processed fats although i doubt they'd sell it if it was dangerous. Lets face it you're not going to use large amounts of it are you ?
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