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    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 7th Apr 17, 1:13 PM
    • 305Posts
    • 2,970Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Second time lucky... debt free diary.
    • #1
    • 7th Apr 17, 1:13 PM
    Second time lucky... debt free diary. 7th Apr 17 at 1:13 PM
    Good afternoon all. As title says, this is my second time here. I started a few years ago, debt started to go down. Then DH was made redundant! He refused to sign on and we lived from the credit cards (think he was suffering depression). I have major mental health issues but went back to work almost 2 years ago but we were scraping by while dh tried self employed (something I desperately didn't want him to do).

    In February he started a part time, temp job but has been working full time hours and looks like he could be staying at least for now.

    I've been off work for a month as I have something growing on my ear drum, vertigo is now under control, still waiting for hospital appointment but...

    From Friday we should have 2 full time wages coming in!!

    Cards have been removedso we cant rely on them and ive got my lists ready. I'm dreading posting this but here goes...

    Loan: £414 last payment this month!
    CC1: £830 min payment £25 on 5% for life rate
    CC2: £6987 0% till Jan 18
    CC3: £3185 0% till june 17
    CC4: £9035 0% till july 17 on 830 the rest 0%till sep 17
    CC5: £8816 think it's 0% for 18 months

    Total: £29267

    We have also had a sofa. payments don't start until its delivered. Ours had collapsed and we are currently on beanbags. We have had a nice one to hopefully last. The payments on that are £90 a month 0% for 4 years. so im going to add the £4287 (I think the insurance cost more than 1 chair) to the starting total.

    Total: £33554

    I don't know how long it'll take to be debt free but my aim for now is just seeing it go down not up. Thank you for reading if you've made it all the way to the end.
Page 6
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 18th Jun 17, 1:58 PM
    • 3,402 Posts
    • 13,162 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    For food waste do you meal plan?

    I check everyday too if anythings looking like it needs using then I can change my plans if need be. Then at the end of the week I use up everything that won't last. I make it into soup etc or 'readymeals' all leftovers are frozen even if there's not a full portion it can be used with a jacket potato or similar.

    Hope the dogs okay x

    DFW £523.71/£7348.71
    Rent Arrears £271.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £30 Amazon
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 24th Jun 17, 1:21 PM
    • 305 Posts
    • 2,970 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Afternoon Hidden, sorry it's took a while to reply,i have been reading everyone's threads but haven't made it on the laptop to post. I try to do a meal plan, but it goes horribly wrong. Our shifts make it difficult. DH works night and i work afternoon/evening. I'll leave a plan but if DH is late up it ends up being something quick before he gets children showered and in bed, collects me and goes to work himself.
    I think i'm going to need to learn to cook! DH has always done it, he likes it, but i think i might have to start making things up in the day so it's a quicker evening meal.
    I think we are fed up of the same meals all the time too and i'll buy things for a meal and not fancy it and do something different.

    It's been a busy week. Girls have started some trial lessons with a club, they are enjoying them but it's meant 4 lessons a week! If we decide to keep them there, there will be an overlap for about 5 weeks as that's when their other lessons are paid till. Need to check how much it will be.

    Sofa payment has been paid, another £89 gone and £742 paid to debt so far this month.

    Received the £200 gift card from the internet switch yesterday so will use that for shopping done in store until it's gone and transfer the money that we would have used, not sure where too yet, debt or freezer fund, will speak to DH.

    Might need to make a TCB claim as the one for insurance still isn't showing, it does say it can take up to 60 days to track which is 7th July. The other £82 is still pending and £2.30 payable.

    I haven't kept track of my spending this month, but we haven't used credit cards and the accounts still have funds in. Going to sort DD's birthday this week (it's beginning of July) and then i can start July with a fresh spending diary. I have toys r us vouchers i can use for her presents so just need to sort food/cake and day out. She can't make her mind up between bowling or cinema (they all want to watch the new minions).
    LBM-March 17 £1487/£33554 (4.4%) paid
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 25th Jun 17, 11:00 PM
    • 305 Posts
    • 2,970 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    Good evening. Thought I had done well with the delivery today, ordered everything for dinner and when it arrived the beef was tiny, only a 4 person one. Going to have to get another as definitely not enough for us all.

    I'm really struggling with dd, she has a very limited diet anyway but now she's fed up of everything she was eating and refusing to eat it. I've promised her a trip to the shop to choose something different to try. I just want her to eat a full meal I just don't know what else to try.

    I've come up to bed in the hope she will go to sleep, she gets so worked up over school she won't sleep as then morning comes faster. So going to try and catch up on here, dh hasn't done a lot of overtime as his back is playing up so I've not had chance to get on.

    For some reason I'm in a horrible mood today and I don't know why, all I seem to have done is shout. I still can't settle. I think the op is playing on my mind, problems with dd, trying to keep them quiet so dh can sleep and knowing he's in pain (he sudfers badly with siatica and if he has time off work he'll be finished immediately) and getting ready for the next set of payments are all playing a part.

    Sorry for the down post, sat here in bed and just kept writing it down. New week tomorrow!
    LBM-March 17 £1487/£33554 (4.4%) paid
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 26th Jun 17, 8:39 AM
    • 552 Posts
    • 977 Thanks
    reality_check
    Aww hope you feel better today! How old is your daughter? Taking her to the shop and letting her help you cook it will hopefully help! Must be a nightmare!! I remember the cooking a million different dinners a night, I used to threaten every night I wasn't doing it again, but of course noone listened as I always did!


    Shame about the beef, could buy some sausages rather than another joint of beef or can pick up a bit of ham quite cheap? Even though just realsied this suggestion is now pointless as I assume it was for your Sunday dinner and it's now Monday! xx
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,750
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 26th Jun 17, 9:19 AM
    • 434 Posts
    • 1,227 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    I do sympathise about the shifts making meal planning nigh-on impossible: I work mostly evenings so I cook at work more often than at home. It's a good idea to get your daughter to chose something to try. Also if she goes out to tea at all she may be more open to trying something new because her friends have it. Funny how eating can be place-specific, even for adults. (Some things that are a treat for me when at work are nothing to me at home).

    I'd encourage almost everyone to learn to cook. It's fun (at least I think so). It also saves money, unless you are into gourmet foods. Just don't worry about the odd failure - as they say, he who has never made a mistake never made anything. Some of mine have been dire but I'm learning!
    30 days in June...
    NSDs 9/12, Exercise 8/12, Housekeeping £108.57/£120
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 26th Jun 17, 9:23 AM
    • 3,402 Posts
    • 13,162 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Hope you're feeling happier today x

    DFW £523.71/£7348.71
    Rent Arrears £271.28/£3381.28

    June 17 PA £121.25 + £70 Cash + £30 Amazon
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 26th Jun 17, 11:18 AM
    • 305 Posts
    • 2,970 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    [QUOTE=reality_check;72749832]Aww hope you feel better today! How old is your daughter? Taking her to the shop and letting her help you cook it will hopefully help! Must be a nightmare!! I remember the cooking a million different dinners a night, I used to threaten every night I wasn't doing it again, but of course noone listened as I always did!


    Shame about the beef, could buy some sausages rather than another joint of beef or can pick up a bit of ham quite cheap? Even though just realsied this suggestion is now pointless as I assume it was for your Sunday dinner and it's now Monday! xx[/QUOUTE]

    Thank you. She is 9. It has become so limited I'm willing to try anything. She eats beans/spaghetti with bread (wont eat toast) meat (plain roast/joint meat, wont touch burgers/sausage/meatballs or anything like that or anything in sauce like tikka) Yorkshire puddings and waffles (wont touch any other potato product, not even chips, she would eat crispy fries until recently, she wont touch them now either) she will eat raw carrots, no other veg, cucumber, no other salad but on the plus side she loves all fruit. The other 3 will eat anything put in front of them. DD1 is picky, not as bad as dd2, but at 16 if she doesn't like what we are having, she sorts herself.

    Fantastic idea about the sausages, we didn't have the beef as wasn't big enough so will grab some sausage and bacon when I finish tonight.

    I do sympathise about the shifts making meal planning nigh-on impossible: I work mostly evenings so I cook at work more often than at home. It's a good idea to get your daughter to chose something to try. Also if she goes out to tea at all she may be more open to trying something new because her friends have it. Funny how eating can be place-specific, even for adults. (Some things that are a treat for me when at work are nothing to me at home).

    I'd encourage almost everyone to learn to cook. It's fun (at least I think so). It also saves money, unless you are into gourmet foods. Just don't worry about the odd failure - as they say, he who has never made a mistake never made anything. Some of mine have been dire but I'm learning!
    Originally posted by Cherryfudge
    Thank you. Even her friends are weary at inviting her over as they have no idea what to feed her.

    I'm going to work on the cooking. Having DS2 at home we have been trying a lot more baking of cakes and things but think we might venture into main meals now.

    Hope you're feeling happier today x
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Thank you. Had a better nights sleep and this morning wasn't too bad, not to much shouting. If I don't start to feel better after the op next week, I will visit the doctor.


    A bit more about dd.. She also has major confidence and anxiety problems. She is convinced no one cares about her. I've spoke to the school who were going to talk to her, they had a quick convo in the play ground with her. I broke down to the pastoral officer who covers the local schools, they were going to refer her to them for some counselling sessions and see if she needs referring for further help, that was before half term, and nothing yet, which hasn't helped with her issue that no one cares.
    We had a good chat last night about being more positive, we are going to make a sticker chart and if we can get lots of smiley faces she can choose the day out in the first week of the holidays (from the Tesco cc points, of course). Us having ds home ed makes it worse, trying to explain to her that ds will never do his gcse's anyway and more needs to learn how to fend for himself in adulthood, whereas she wants to be a teacher and needs to get to uni. (I know that sounds bad about DS, but at 12 he still has no idea of time or money or even how to make a cup of juice, these are all things we can concentrate on at home instead of the complicated maths he would be learning at school that he would never understand. Although we seem to be doing fantastic with DS I wouldn't want to fail her, sorry if that sounds bad)

    DH has doctors at 3. I'm going to go with him to make sure he tells them everything, it's not just the horrendous pain hes in now, it's been a constant ache for at least 2 years and hes been constantly living on painkillers.

    Right, sorry for the essay, I better get ds set up on the laptop an sort some of the washing out before the rain arrives.
    LBM-March 17 £1487/£33554 (4.4%) paid
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 27th Jun 17, 8:58 AM
    • 844 Posts
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    Poor_Single_lady
    You are so busy looking after everyone and managing the finances. I honestly have no idea how you do it.

    This might be way off the mark but do you think it would help taking Fussy DD to some kind of food show (or maybe that might make things worse) but I've been to some and they are places where people are passionate about all kinds of foods and very friendly (because they want you to buy). If you went just the 2 of you as a day out.
    I'm not sure if I'm barking up the wrong tree and she might feel got-at.

    But even if you took her somewhere just you or just you and partner so she had your undivided attention just on her i Think it would mean a lot to her.

    **maybe this is my issue but the child in me loved and loves spending time with just my mum or just my dad or both (even now) and I think it's large families that drive that feeling.
    If she is feeling the things that you said i think this might make her feel good about herself.

    My parents are always doing so much for my siblings and grandparents when we can spend time together "just us" it feels really important.

    It probably won't make her want to eat anything extra but might make a difference to her maybe.

    But you know really as her Mum.
    It must be so hard trying to feed her. Hopefully she will come through it and eventually wonder what all that was about - but until then it does sound very hard. xx
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 27th Jun 17, 9:55 AM
    • 434 Posts
    • 1,227 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    I'm sure I heard somewhere that it helps 'fussy' eaters if they can be around foods that they don't eat because it helps keep those foods as part of their experience. Mind you, DS2 is still fussy about crisps and fish and in his early 20s he still moans like mad if he can smell fish! However, he's gradually tried new foods over the years, partly encouraged by our older children's partners, who have not only treated him well but have encouraged him not to feel bad about being 'fussy'. One of them recounted living off chicken nuggets and similar stuff as a child but being able to eat most things as an adult in addition to having a job with food! The reassurance that things can get easier as you get older - that helps the child as well as the family!

    Our son is still a bit 'fussy' but not as much as he was. He cooks for himself but does sometimes eat with us. Things in sauce are still rather a no-no, but spaghetti bolognese has now been accepted, which is quite a break-through in terms of joining in with others. He does seem to have a very sensitive nose, so maybe this is part of why he doesn't like certain foods. He also doesn't like things to be 'contaminated' - so a spoon that's been used to serve carrots can't be used on potatoes.

    All this made me think: I work with young adults who have autism. Something I've often heard at work is that what works for people with autism will work for people without autism too. I therefore had a quick Google about how food issues affect people with autism, hoping to see anything that you might be able to use with your daughter. This is a fascinating page and points out other things apart from the actual foods that may affect how a person comes to limit their diet. Obviously I don't know your daughter and I'm not saying this is anything to do with autism, just hoping there may be something here that helps.

    Edit: looking at the list of what your daughter eats, I think she has all the major foods groups so that aspect is probably covered. I wonder if her control over food is partly because it's a big world out there and she is limiting her exposure to the unknown and/or getting attention via her foods? Again, I don't know her so please ignore anything that's not appropriate - and I'm not an expert, just a mum
    Last edited by Cherryfudge; Yesterday at 10:19 AM.
    30 days in June...
    NSDs 9/12, Exercise 8/12, Housekeeping £108.57/£120
    • charlies tribe
    • By charlies tribe 27th Jun 17, 3:06 PM
    • 305 Posts
    • 2,970 Thanks
    charlies tribe
    I've only got a few minutes before I go to fetch the littlies but wanted to thank you both for your post. They are very helpful. Sorry the thread has gone completely off moneysaving but your replies are definitely helpful.
    PSL: DD definitely would like more time with us, the younger girl is really clingy to me, if DD2 EVEN sits at the side of me DD3 has to be sat on my knee, If i'm talking to DD2, DD3 will want to talk so I definitely think the day out might be changed to a day out just the 2 of us, maybe lunch somewhere. Thank you.
    Cherry fudge: thank you, ill have a look at the page later when ive got a bit more time t look properly. Autism is definitely something that's been brought up. But she doesn't struggle understanding people emotionally, knows if shes upset us and if we are joking. But we have all the food and school issues, her temper at home can be horrendous and she will throw things, she spends most of her time pretending to be a baby and she is completely obsessed with her baby dolls. But when weve spoke to school, her teachers says she is completely different, she is so quiet, she has only spoke to him a couple of times this year (surely the fact she hasn't spoken should be a warning sign). I don't know if we would get anywhere at doctors if she's fine at school.

    On a debt busting note.. £25 paid to CC and today will be a NSD.£767 paid this month so far. Yesterday was a spend day as had to get DH prescription and the girls needed a torch for a school experiment today.
    LBM-March 17 £1487/£33554 (4.4%) paid
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 28th Jun 17, 12:13 AM
    • 434 Posts
    • 1,227 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Well done for the payment.

    Cherry fudge: thank you, ill have a look at the page later when ive got a bit more time t look properly. Autism is definitely something that's been brought up. But she doesn't struggle understanding people emotionally, knows if shes upset us and if we are joking. But we have all the food and school issues, her temper at home can be horrendous and she will throw things, she spends most of her time pretending to be a baby and she is completely obsessed with her baby dolls. But when weve spoke to school, her teachers says she is completely different, she is so quiet, she has only spoke to him a couple of times this year (surely the fact she hasn't spoken should be a warning sign). I don't know if we would get anywhere at doctors if she's fine at school.
    Originally posted by charlies tribe
    I wouldn't know if your daughter has autism, but as I say, things that helps people with autism are often useful for others, too. Also as I understand it, autism may manifest differently in girls, for instance, obsession with detail may manifest as interest in people.

    Some of the young people I work with can really appreciate a joke, which surprised me as I hadn't thought they would. Everyone's so different though, and that neither proves nor disproves autism. I know my youngest was a problem at home but not at school and for that reason I found it hard to get help - most help came informally through friends. I don't think he is autistic, but he finds change very difficult which is a characteristic of autism. I remember being told, though, that kids who are 'good' at school may well let off steam at home, and vice versa. Could it be your daughter finds home a safe place to give vent to negative feelings whereas at school she needs to conform?

    I must go for now - need some sleep! - but I hope you find something that helps.
    30 days in June...
    NSDs 9/12, Exercise 8/12, Housekeeping £108.57/£120
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