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    • skullncrossbones
    • By skullncrossbones 20th Mar 17, 7:46 PM
    • 152Posts
    • 54Thanks
    skullncrossbones
    Living alone
    • #1
    • 20th Mar 17, 7:46 PM
    Living alone 20th Mar 17 at 7:46 PM
    I've lived at home my entire life. I've always wanted to move out and got close a couple of times but things fell through. I think due to living at home for the past 20 odd years has made me reluctant to live alone. I now however, have been offered the chance to just that. For 6 months I'd have a one bedroom flat as a family member is going travelling for 6 months. So I'm already at the door I just wondered if anyone had any tips on living alone?
Page 1
    • Kim kim
    • By Kim kim 20th Mar 17, 7:51 PM
    • 2,023 Posts
    • 3,072 Thanks
    Kim kim
    • #2
    • 20th Mar 17, 7:51 PM
    • #2
    • 20th Mar 17, 7:51 PM
    Please yourself :-)
    That's the greatest bit.
    Eat what you want, when you want it.
    Too tired to cook, Cornflakes & toast for dinner - no problem.
    The TV remote is yours :-)

    The worst, waking up alone Christmas morning :-/
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 20th Mar 17, 8:00 PM
    • 952 Posts
    • 1,008 Thanks
    NeilCr
    • #3
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:00 PM
    • #3
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:00 PM
    What Kim Kim says!

    Although Xmas is fine

    Find things to do - join things. Living on your own is great but we tend to need interaction. I now have a partner who I see a couple of days a week. The rest of the week I split between having me at home days and getting out and about doing stuff (gym volunteering) and seeing folks

    If you work much of this is taken care of but weekends and evenings by yourself can drag - especially as you are used to living with people

    Good luck!
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 20th Mar 17, 8:02 PM
    • 1,634 Posts
    • 4,397 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    • #4
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:02 PM
    • #4
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:02 PM
    A 6 month trial is probably a good idea, if you don't like it you can look for somewhere with a flatmate, if you find it suits you can look for your own place.

    I've lived alone for a few years now, there's a lot that's good. The usual stuff about doing what you want when you want, not sharing the TV, the bed, the bathroom and only ever having your own mess to clear up! But there are some downsides!

    Cook! Don't fall into eating convenience food and ready meals for one, It seems like wasted effort at first to spend time cooking from fresh for one, but get in the habit or your health will start to suffer. I tend to make two portions of each meal and have the second half the next day. More economical but you won't get bored like you can with big batches that last days and days.

    Invite people round regularly, its very easy to let the place turn into your own private lair/man cave if you don't! Go out too of course, but don't let the fact that yours is the smallest place turn into an excuse for never having friends or family visit and always going to them instead.

    Get a pet if you're allowed, even a goldfish, but make sure you can properly care for whatever you get!

    You'll be paying the bills alone, so keep an eye on your usage of power and water and make sure you budget carefully.

    Good luck, I enjoy living alone, and whenever I've lived with other people the best times were when they were all out and I had the place to myself. Other people hate it, and need to have somebody to come home to, you can use this 6 months to find out which is right for you.
    • Hermia
    • By Hermia 20th Mar 17, 8:02 PM
    • 4,105 Posts
    • 11,012 Thanks
    Hermia
    • #5
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:02 PM
    • #5
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:02 PM
    I've lived at home my entire life. I've always wanted to move out and got close a couple of times but things fell through. I think due to living at home for the past 20 odd years has made me reluctant to live alone. I now however, have been offered the chance to just that. For 6 months I'd have a one bedroom flat as a family member is going travelling for 6 months. So I'm already at the door I just wondered if anyone had any tips on living alone?
    Originally posted by skullncrossbones
    It would help if you could say what aspect of living alone is worrying you otherwise it is hard to know what sort of tips you want. Are you worried about being in charge of the house? Crime/security? Loneliness? Will you have friends nearby?

    I would definitely take this opportunity even if you decide you want to go back to your family afterwards. Getting used to being on your own is a good idea as you never know what will happen in the future. Having a practice run might really help you one day. I am currently watching a 60 year old colleague pretty much have a mental breakdown at the fact she is now having to live alone for the first time. I am sure she could have adapted more if she had tried this 30 years ago.

    I love living on my own. I don't think it is better/worse than living with others. It just has different pros and cons.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 20th Mar 17, 8:31 PM
    • 5,876 Posts
    • 7,625 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    • #6
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:31 PM
    • #6
    • 20th Mar 17, 8:31 PM
    I agree that a 6 month trial is a good way to decide how you feel about it.

    I agree that making sure you aren't surviving solely on ready meals and takeaways is a good tip. If you have a freezer then cooking in batches and freezing spare portions is a good way to ensure that you can eat properly without having to cook from scratch every day.

    Try not to go home every weekend - it makes it harder to start to think of your place as home.

    Do treat it as home - for instance, take personal stuff with you.

    Enjoy it! Living alone means that you don't have to fit around someone else's routine or habits.
    • G_M
    • By G_M 20th Mar 17, 9:05 PM
    • 41,100 Posts
    • 47,242 Thanks
    G_M
    • #7
    • 20th Mar 17, 9:05 PM
    • #7
    • 20th Mar 17, 9:05 PM
    No one has asked: how old are you?

    Do you have a girl/boyfriend or are you single?
    Are you a self-sufficient person? Emotionally? Financially?
    Can you cook? Clean? Iron (if required)? Shop?
    Are you good with money?

    Where the answers are no, there may be challanges, but meeting those challanges can be a good thing.....
    • glasgowdan
    • By glasgowdan 20th Mar 17, 9:08 PM
    • 2,420 Posts
    • 2,707 Thanks
    glasgowdan
    • #8
    • 20th Mar 17, 9:08 PM
    • #8
    • 20th Mar 17, 9:08 PM
    As above, how old are you? You've lived at home your entire life, and you mention the last 20 years, so are you 20? If so, that's not a bad age to get out and try living yourself.

    You won't look back.

    Best parts of living alone? You can actually say "Wanna come back to my place?" without trying to figure out how you're going to get anyone to date someone who lives with their parents!
    • TheGardener
    • By TheGardener 20th Mar 17, 9:27 PM
    • 2,125 Posts
    • 2,015 Thanks
    TheGardener
    • #9
    • 20th Mar 17, 9:27 PM
    • #9
    • 20th Mar 17, 9:27 PM
    Tip 1 Would be get off on the right footing and make sure you and the relatives have a clear understanding of what each of you expects and what you are and are not responsible for - a written agreement might be a good idea - that would get you used to some of the responsibilities and pitfalls of being a tenant in the future. Things like repairs and maintenance during the 6 months - who would deal with and pay for a burst pipe or a broken fridge?
    Tip 2. Clean up regularly and treat the flat with respect.
    Tip 3. Budget carefully and ask for help if you are a bit stumped with anything.

    Its a great opportunity to dip your toe in the water - most of us just get hurled in at the deep end so make the most of it and enjoy it
    Last edited by TheGardener; 20-03-2017 at 9:29 PM.
    • skullncrossbones
    • By skullncrossbones 20th Mar 17, 10:26 PM
    • 152 Posts
    • 54 Thanks
    skullncrossbones
    Thanks for all the replies and tips!!

    I'm old! I'm 28! (Old in the fact I've never moved out). But yea, like I said I've had a few near misses, and actually if this hadn't come up I think in a couple of months I'd have take the plunge and done it myself. My parents have always told me to stay at home and save money to buy something but a combination of living in London/I'll never afford a shed/I want a life has got in the way and I guess I never wanted it before.

    Haha at the bringing people home comment! I have a partner!! But he won't be around a lot as he's working away at the moment.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 20th Mar 17, 10:26 PM
    • 2,592 Posts
    • 2,536 Thanks
    cjdavies
    No considering others, I love it, doing for the last 9 years.

    Chill day out doing nothing, box set of a tv program you want to watch.
    Last edited by cjdavies; 20-03-2017 at 10:32 PM.
    • skullncrossbones
    • By skullncrossbones 20th Mar 17, 10:30 PM
    • 152 Posts
    • 54 Thanks
    skullncrossbones
    No one has asked: how old are you?

    Do you have a girl/boyfriend or are you single?
    Are you a self-sufficient person? Emotionally? Financially?
    Can you cook? Clean? Iron (if required)? Shop?
    Are you good with money?

    Where the answers are no, there may be challanges, but meeting those challanges can be a good thing.....
    Originally posted by G_M
    I'm 28 (I know how have I survived this long at home?! Trust me it hasn't been without its dramas)
    I have a boyfriend but he's working away at the mo
    Yes I am self sufficient 👍
    Yes yes and yes. Yep.
    Very good with money
    • skullncrossbones
    • By skullncrossbones 20th Mar 17, 10:33 PM
    • 152 Posts
    • 54 Thanks
    skullncrossbones
    It would help if you could say what aspect of living alone is worrying you otherwise it is hard to know what sort of tips you want. Are you worried about being in charge of the house? Crime/security? Loneliness? Will you have friends nearby?

    I would definitely take this opportunity even if you decide you want to go back to your family afterwards. Getting used to being on your own is a good idea as you never know what will happen in the future. Having a practice run might really help you one day. I am currently watching a 60 year old colleague pretty much have a mental breakdown at the fact she is now having to live alone for the first time. I am sure she could have adapted more if she had tried this 30 years ago.

    I love living on my own. I don't think it is better/worse than living with others. It just has different pros and cons.
    Originally posted by Hermia
    I think it's the loneliness and security. The flats very secure but just having never done it before it's a bit scary. I'm quite introverted and don't have tonnes of friends, a lot have moved away. I'm quite used to my own company but still can get a bit lonely but I'm hoping that'll make me get out and do more.
    • Whoknowskt89
    • By Whoknowskt89 21st Mar 17, 12:25 AM
    • 262 Posts
    • 622 Thanks
    Whoknowskt89
    I'm 27 and lived alone for 2 years...

    Living alone does mean you won't have to worry about what you look like / what you're wearing / can walk around the flat naked if you want!
    No nagging that the dishes have been soaking for a whole hour without being done.
    No 'where have you been/who you been out with.
    ..'
    Or maybe that was just my parents

    There's always sites like this or others depending on your interests to talk to people or just feel like it's not only you!
    Local groups for your interests mean you can meet new friends and then there is new people to go out for a drink with etc

    Personally, if it wasn't for work sometimes I'd happily go weeks not seeing anyone though I do have a mate sneak over everything week for dinner!
    Security wise. Just always remember to double lock your door of a night.
    August 2017 £9510/£11,150 savings aim for EF and moving (by Jan 2018)
    Mortgage £67 483 Emergency fund £1500 Moving fund £8010 Treats account £648 Doing up flat £1050
    Christmas 2017 £120/£160
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 21st Mar 17, 6:35 AM
    • 13,455 Posts
    • 36,651 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    I think it's the loneliness and security. The flats very secure but just having never done it before it's a bit scary. I'm quite introverted and don't have tonnes of friends, a lot have moved away. I'm quite used to my own company but still can get a bit lonely but I'm hoping that'll make me get out and do more.
    Originally posted by skullncrossbones
    - You do have to make the effort to "get out and about" more when living on your own. Living somewhere like London - then that should mean lots of younger people also doing the same - which is a positive. You will learn to "fake it till you make it" re coming over as confident etc etc.

    - Good that the security of the flat is good. As a young woman living on your own that is important. If you are also attractive = it's even more important. That is voice of experience time. Any gaps in security - ask the owner if you can (at your own expense) enhance the security. I'm less concerned than I was - now I'm no longer young and attractive. If I'd known then what I know now - I would have been a sight more concerned than I was...
    If there's "4 tendencies" type of people (Gretchen Rubin) = yep....Questioner type here
    - Meets an expectation only if they believe it's justified and resists anything arbitrary or ineffective
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 21st Mar 17, 9:19 AM
    • 1,634 Posts
    • 4,397 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    No nagging that the dishes have been soaking for a whole hour without being done.
    No 'where have you been/who you been out with.
    ..'
    Or maybe that was just my parents
    Originally posted by Whoknowskt89
    No, that was my ex too!
    • gingercordial
    • By gingercordial 21st Mar 17, 12:35 PM
    • 990 Posts
    • 950 Thanks
    gingercordial
    You'll have to become more self-reliant and organised. Nobody else to remember to pick up some milk or loo roll on the way home when you've run out!

    In particular keep a well-stocked medicine cabinet. If you wake up with a sore throat and streaming nose you won't have anyone to beg to go and buy you tissues. Best to keep some lemsip and so forth on hand so at least you can make yourself feel a little bit better before dragging yourself out of the house.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 21st Mar 17, 12:50 PM
    • 13,455 Posts
    • 36,651 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    You'll have to become more self-reliant and organised. Nobody else to remember to pick up some milk or loo roll on the way home when you've run out!

    In particular keep a well-stocked medicine cabinet. If you wake up with a sore throat and streaming nose you won't have anyone to beg to go and buy you tissues. Best to keep some lemsip and so forth on hand so at least you can make yourself feel a little bit better before dragging yourself out of the house.
    Originally posted by gingercordial
    Good point - re well-organised.

    Personally - I tend to keep a (regularly updated) list in my handbag always of things I need to buy/do in town.
    If there's "4 tendencies" type of people (Gretchen Rubin) = yep....Questioner type here
    - Meets an expectation only if they believe it's justified and resists anything arbitrary or ineffective
    • skullncrossbones
    • By skullncrossbones 21st Mar 17, 9:56 PM
    • 152 Posts
    • 54 Thanks
    skullncrossbones
    I'm 27 and lived alone for 2 years...

    Living alone does mean you won't have to worry about what you look like / what you're wearing / can walk around the flat naked if you want!
    No nagging that the dishes have been soaking for a whole hour without being done.
    No 'where have you been/who you been out with.
    ..'
    Or maybe that was just my parents

    .
    Originally posted by Whoknowskt89
    Nope that's my parents too!! I feel your pain!
    • Murphybear
    • By Murphybear 22nd Mar 17, 9:13 AM
    • 3,175 Posts
    • 6,579 Thanks
    Murphybear
    I lived alone in London on and off for a number of years in my 20s - 40s with the occasional flat mate/husband in between. I loved it because, as already said, it brings a great deal of independence. There were a lot of singles groups around back then (I met my current partner 20 years ago ) and evening classes in every imaginable subject.

    I think everyone should experience living alone at least once in their life.

    As you have a partner have you considered getting somewhere together? You would still have your independence as he is away a lot but the added security of having someone around plus it would be cheaper

    Do you like cats? They make great companions and are suitable for having in a flat.
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