Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • oncewereworriers
    • By oncewereworriers 15th Mar 17, 4:15 PM
    • 2Posts
    • 0Thanks
    oncewereworriers
    Medical results & info opened by neighbour
    • #1
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:15 PM
    Medical results & info opened by neighbour 15th Mar 17 at 4:15 PM
    I'm stressed as my recent hospital biopsy results and current medical issues have been opened by a neighbour and she posted it through my door on the sunday.
    I know the opening other peoples mail has been covered in some way on the forum, but this was addressed in my name but the number 1 was handwritten in a way that the post office delivered it to number 7, who opened it, saw the correct address typed within and delivered it.
    They tried to restick it back down, didn't knock on the door to apologize or explain.
    I have mental health issues and my neighbours are rather gossipy, they act like depression is contagious, I already have two neighbours that blank me. I'd like to go around and talk to the lady but I'm not very good at talking to people and terrified how far this information will go.

    The address should have been clearly written and the lady at number 7 shouldn't have opened it but it had no private and confidential or addressee only warning but it did have a return address that if you'd searched it would have come up as an NHS hospital.
    Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? I can except a maybe accidental opening but what if the information within does the rounds?
Page 1
    • tensandunits
    • By tensandunits 15th Mar 17, 4:21 PM
    • 825 Posts
    • 1,212 Thanks
    tensandunits
    • #2
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:21 PM
    • #2
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:21 PM
    Could you photograph the hand-written envelope (as evidence that the address was easy to mistake) and then register a comment with the department concerned (or with PALS)?

    Do you and the person at number 7 know each other by name?
    • teddysmum
    • By teddysmum 15th Mar 17, 4:46 PM
    • 7,788 Posts
    • 4,613 Thanks
    teddysmum
    • #3
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:46 PM
    • #3
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:46 PM
    I think most of us have opened mail by mistake, at some time, especially when envelopes stick together and you open the one whose front is hidden.


    The neighbour may well have been expecting an NHS letter anyway (quite common on our estate of aging occupants), but on reading the contents felt embarrassed about facing you.
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 15th Mar 17, 4:49 PM
    • 16,794 Posts
    • 25,565 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    • #4
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:49 PM
    • #4
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:49 PM
    I think most of us have opened mail by mistake, at some time, especially when envelopes stick together and you open the one whose front is hidden.


    The neighbour may well have been expecting an NHS letter anyway (quite common on our estate of aging occupants), but on reading the contents felt embarrassed about facing you.
    Originally posted by teddysmum
    That was my thought.
    Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving . Albert Einstein.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • teddysmum
    • By teddysmum 15th Mar 17, 4:50 PM
    • 7,788 Posts
    • 4,613 Thanks
    teddysmum
    • #5
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:50 PM
    • #5
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:50 PM
    Could you photograph the hand-written envelope (as evidence that the address was easy to mistake) and then register a comment with the department concerned (or with PALS)?

    Do you and the person at number 7 know each other by name?
    Originally posted by tensandunits


    The person writing the address may be foreign , so not in the wrong. The French do ones that look like our sevens, then 'their ' sevens have a line through them (look like back to front Fs).
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 15th Mar 17, 4:54 PM
    • 27,612 Posts
    • 70,127 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #6
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:54 PM
    • #6
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:54 PM
    I'm stressed as my recent hospital biopsy results and current medical issues have been opened by a neighbour and she posted it through my door on the sunday.

    They tried to restick it back down, didn't knock on the door to apologize or explain.

    The address should have been clearly written and the lady at number 7 shouldn't have opened it
    Originally posted by oncewereworriers
    Could you photograph the hand-written envelope (as evidence that the address was easy to mistake) and then register a comment with the department concerned (or with PALS)?
    Originally posted by tensandunits
    It's likely that it was opened by mistake - try not to get too stressed about the neighbour's actions. At least they were good enough to bring it round to you - they could just have thrown it away and left you to chase up the results.

    It's worth pointing out to the department who sent it out that the envelope should have been more clearly written - as tensandunits suggests.
    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 15th Mar 17, 4:57 PM
    • 915 Posts
    • 1,554 Thanks
    rach_k
    • #7
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:57 PM
    • #7
    • 15th Mar 17, 4:57 PM
    I think a sensible approach would be to go round or write a simple note to say thank you to her for posting it through your door and for her discretion. There's no need to start talking about whether she should have opened it or not and no need to mention gossip. There's nothing you can do about it now anyway, and antagonising her by suggesting she might be anything other than decent might backfire. Be nice and expect the best of people and generally they will be nice and live up to your expectations
    • fairy lights
    • By fairy lights 15th Mar 17, 5:05 PM
    • 7,649 Posts
    • 24,943 Thanks
    fairy lights
    • #8
    • 15th Mar 17, 5:05 PM
    • #8
    • 15th Mar 17, 5:05 PM
    I really don't think there's any need to go and talk to your neighbour about it, that will only make it in to a bigger issue than it needs to be. She probably opened the letter, saw it wasn't for her, thought "oh crap, this is for number 1 not number 7" and posted it through your door without giving it any more thought.
    I know I've opened post that has mistakenly been delivered to me before and didn't give it a second thought, I certainly wouldn't think it was worth gossiping about.
    • parking_question_chap
    • By parking_question_chap 15th Mar 17, 5:14 PM
    • 1,252 Posts
    • 1,003 Thanks
    parking_question_chap
    • #9
    • 15th Mar 17, 5:14 PM
    • #9
    • 15th Mar 17, 5:14 PM
    I really don't think there's any need to go and talk to your neighbour about it, that will only make it in to a bigger issue than it needs to be. She probably opened the letter, saw it wasn't for her, thought "oh crap, this is for number 1 not number 7" and posted it through your door without giving it any more thought.
    I know I've opened post that has mistakenly been delivered to me before and didn't give it a second thought, I certainly wouldn't think it was worth gossiping about.
    Originally posted by fairy lights
    This

    I never look much at the letter name and address. It it starts with a Mr I open it.
    • tensandunits
    • By tensandunits 15th Mar 17, 6:29 PM
    • 825 Posts
    • 1,212 Thanks
    tensandunits
    The person writing the address may be foreign , so not in the wrong. The French do ones that look like our sevens, then 'their ' sevens have a line through them (look like back to front Fs).
    Originally posted by teddysmum
    Yes, same with German 1s and 7s. Maybe it's a European thing?
    • Katiehound
    • By Katiehound 15th Mar 17, 9:41 PM
    • 3,555 Posts
    • 36,104 Thanks
    Katiehound
    I've certainly opened a bank statement / CC statement without looking at the front of the envelope. If the letter falls on your doormat you assume it is for You!! When I start reading the letter and it's not addressed to me I just stick it back in the envelope
    I just scribble "opened in error" on the envelope and put through the correct door.
    We used to get loads of wrongly delivered mail- same no. just wrong street! and frequently things got opened. Thankfully the incompetant postman has gone

    I think you need to accept it was an accident and also assume that your neighbour has already forgotten about it.
    Being polite and pleasant doesn't cost anything!

    If you found my posting helpful please hit the "Thanks" button!
    Thank You
    • GlamGirlie
    • By GlamGirlie 18th Mar 17, 1:59 PM
    • 417 Posts
    • 248 Thanks
    GlamGirlie
    OP- have you never opened something by mistake? We've all done it - it's not malicious, just an accident. Not sure what you think you would gain by going round there? Just let it go, your neighbour almost definitely will have done.
    I am employed as a manager in a financial services institution. My views are entirely my own.
    • pattycake
    • By pattycake 18th Mar 17, 7:00 PM
    • 1,149 Posts
    • 949 Thanks
    pattycake
    We live at No 13 and frequently get mail for No 15 as the postie thinks the builders missed out 13 as it's considered unlucky!

    I just go next door and put it through their letter box. I do look at the addressee on envelopes because it could be for me or DH.
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 19th Mar 17, 3:07 PM
    • 22,367 Posts
    • 85,471 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    I'm stressed as my recent hospital biopsy results and current medical issues have been opened by a neighbour and she posted it through my door on the sunday.
    I know the opening other peoples mail has been covered in some way on the forum, but this was addressed in my name but the number 1 was handwritten in a way that the post office delivered it to number 7, who opened it, saw the correct address typed within and delivered it.
    They tried to restick it back down, didn't knock on the door to apologize or explain.
    I have mental health issues and my neighbours are rather gossipy, they act like depression is contagious, I already have two neighbours that blank me. I'd like to go around and talk to the lady but I'm not very good at talking to people and terrified how far this information will go.

    The address should have been clearly written and the lady at number 7 shouldn't have opened it but it had no private and confidential or addressee only warning but it did have a return address that if you'd searched it would have come up as an NHS hospital.
    Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? I can except a maybe accidental opening but what if the information within does the rounds?
    Originally posted by oncewereworriers

    As you've said yourself, as soon as they opened it and realised it was for you, they tried to stick the envelope back down again and passed it on to you. There's nothing to apologise for or explain.

    Just let it go.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • JIL
    • By JIL 19th Mar 17, 11:18 PM
    • 2,537 Posts
    • 17,645 Thanks
    JIL
    Your neighbour could very easily have covered this up by destroying the letter, instead they stuck it back down and made sure you got the letter. The fact they got the letter to you says a lot, it doesn't seem it was opened intentionally.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 20th Mar 17, 8:30 AM
    • 15,502 Posts
    • 38,858 Thanks
    FBaby
    Was there anything in the letter that makes you very worried they would go and discuss with anyone else? If that's the case, then your only option is to go and speak with them and explain that you are not angry with them for mistakenly opening the letter as it can happen, but that you would very much appreciate if they could keep everything for themselves.

    They will say that of course they will, that they understand, they would never divulge that kind of information, and then you can say 'oh no, I wouldn't think you would, but I just feel more reassured that I've mentioned it'. It is then highly likely that even if they intended to do so, they will now think twice about it.
    • oncewereworriers
    • By oncewereworriers 24th Mar 17, 12:46 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    oncewereworriers
    Was there anything in the letter that makes you very worried they would go and discuss with anyone else? If that's the case, then your only option is to go and speak with them and explain that you are not angry with them for mistakenly opening the letter as it can happen,
    but that you would very much appreciate if they could keep everything for themselves.

    They will say that of course they will, that they understand, they would never divulge that kind of information, and then you can say 'oh no, I wouldn't think you would, but I just feel more reassured that I've mentioned it'. It is then highly likely that even if they intended to do so, they will now think twice about it.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    Thank you FBaby, that's exactly it, I could live with the biopsy results just being in there, it was the other sensitive information I am worried about.


    OP- have you never opened something by mistake? We've all done it - it's not malicious, just an accident. Not sure what you think you would gain by going round there? Just let it go, your neighbour almost definitely will have done.
    Originally posted by GlamGirlie
    I don't think I made myself clear, like I said I can appreciate opening it accidentally it, I know it must have been tempting to chuck it in the bin, I appreciate that she brought it around. As nothing was said or any note I just wanted some reassurance that it wouldn't end up going any further, I didn't mean it to sound like I was going to march around there angry and demanding an explanation and apology, more that I had no idea of the intention. What is written could be damaging to me and a bit of juicy gossip to someone else.

    I think a sensible approach would be to go round or write a simple note to say thank you to her for posting it through your door and for her discretion. There's no need to start talking about whether she should have opened it or not and no need to mention gossip. There's nothing you can do about it now anyway, and antagonising her by suggesting she might be anything other than decent might backfire. Be nice and expect the best of people and generally they will be nice and live up to your expectations
    Originally posted by rach_k
    Good advice, Thank you.
    Last edited by oncewereworriers; 25-03-2017 at 12:51 PM.
    • tensandunits
    • By tensandunits 24th Mar 17, 1:56 PM
    • 825 Posts
    • 1,212 Thanks
    tensandunits
    Given that this happened more than a week ago I wouldn't go round there now, OP. I expect she's forgotten about it. Let it lie.

    More important is to make sure it doesn't happen again, so do get on to the dept at the hospital and make sure they correctly address any future correspondence.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,544Posts Today

8,101Users online

Martin's Twitter