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    • dean1967
    • By dean1967 13th Mar 17, 12:27 PM
    • 3Posts
    • 23Thanks
    A bad relationship with money
    • #1
    • 13th Mar 17, 12:27 PM
    A bad relationship with money 13th Mar 17 at 12:27 PM
    Hi all
    I am new on the forum and was hoping for some honest advice.
    I have a really relationship with money, it makes me happy & sad, it scares me and doesn't seem to stick in my wallet for very long.
    I am posting on here because I have a around £7k due to me in the next couple of months and worried it will slip through my fingers like it usually does.
    In with the equation I have around £10k of debt of which some is current and some old
    This has been reduced from a larger amount as i did a deal with Lowell to reduce a £6k debt to £700 over 6 months ( i have already made one payment)


    Catalogue Balance £15 £5 per month
    Payday Loan Balance£56 £56 Left to pay
    Lowell Balance £584 £116 per month
    Catalogue Balance £75 £5 per month
    CCJ £99 No arrangement in place
    Parking Fine Balance£120 No arrangement in place
    Credit Card Balance £230 £25 per month
    Payday Loan Balance £229 £21 per month
    Catalogue Balance £267 £20 per month
    Loan Balance £400 £49 per month
    Halifax o/draft £450 No Arrangement in place
    Halifax o/draft £450 No Arrangement in place
    Funeral Cost Balance £565 £25 per month
    Argos Card Balance £650 Payment Due In September
    Credit Card Balance £800 £60 per month
    Credit Card Balance £900 £30 per month
    Catalogue Balance £1000 £60 per month
    Tesco £2052 No Arrangement in place

    My gut feeling ( as always when i get money) is to keep it and ignore my debts, in fact I have an arrangement with Lowell that reduces £6k down to £700 in installments but I am thinking i would rather keep the £116 per month as the debt is so old and off my credit file soon. The same could be said of all the other old debts, they are due off in the next year.

    As you can see there is a lot of conflict here with me and some makes no sense.

    I would appreciate your help/advice/honesty

    Last edited by dean1967; 13-03-2017 at 12:40 PM.
Page 1
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 13th Mar 17, 12:44 PM
    • 4,228 Posts
    • 7,616 Thanks
    • #2
    • 13th Mar 17, 12:44 PM
    • #2
    • 13th Mar 17, 12:44 PM
    £7000 would go a long way to clearing that debt so regardless of the age of those debts I think you should repay them. It seems to me you want to not pay with the logic that the debts are old and will be off your credit file. You spent the money though so should pay it back.
    Countdown to early retirement on 31.12.17 3.5 months to go.
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 13th Mar 17, 12:46 PM
    • 7,753 Posts
    • 40,186 Thanks
    • #3
    • 13th Mar 17, 12:46 PM
    • #3
    • 13th Mar 17, 12:46 PM
    There is conflict here, you're right. Firstly I think you need to acknowledge whether you actually want to clear this debt, or not. Some people are happy walking away from it, for others that is a path to feeling guilty forever more and they take a view that they will bend over backwards to pay it off. In my view you need to decide whether you want to take responsibility for it, or not, first off.

    From there, and if yo decide that you DO want to deal with it to starft yourself off afresh, then you need a Statement of Affairs (SOA) - you'll find the link on the "sticky" thread at the top of the board here. Fill that in taking care to be as accurate as possible, and then post it in here using the "format for MSE" option and we can take a look - it may well be that a lot of the small stuff there can be taken account of through regular repayments from a well worked out budget, but the "well worked out" and "budget" bits of that are key.

    It doesn't sound as though your current relationship with money is making you particularly happy - so on the basis that what you're doing isn't working, I'd be inclined to say you have nothing to lose by trying a different path. You work for your money, now it;'s time to make that money start working for you, in return.

    One thing I would say, is that as you have a current Payday loan showing, I wouldn't worry about your "credit file" for the time being - for the purposes of mortgages etc, you've closed yourself off to a lot of lenders for a while simply by having that entry there. You can improve things for the future by learning to budget, and manage your cash, though.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£504.92 (29/08/17)
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 13th Mar 17, 2:12 PM
    • 271 Posts
    • 4,390 Thanks
    • #4
    • 13th Mar 17, 2:12 PM
    • #4
    • 13th Mar 17, 2:12 PM
    Firstly if you have joined MSE today, I would say you don’t want to continue your present relationship with money. One of the best things on this board is the support and encouragement you will get from other posters.

    Some facts?
    18 debts
    £363 monthly to service the debt
    £8942 total debt

    That makes it look really scary but with some prioritising you could really make a difference in a short time

    • It is difficult to suggest the best way forward for you as you haven’t shown the APR on your debts
    • A SOA would help to indicate which debt to prioritise first and where economies could be made
    • The payday loans need to go as soon as possible
    • Build an Emergency Fund so you can avoid payday loans in future
    • Keep a spending diary and make sure you record everything
    • Look to find a pattern in your spending – is it when you are tired, bored, short of time, having a bad day or just because you deserve it?

    I started to try to prioritise your debts but then stopped because it would be sheer guesswork without the APRs etc. And I get the impression that you aren’t keen on dealing with the detail, none of us are.

    What are you prepared to do?
    As EH says, you are describing a real conflict and until you decide your priorities, you will find it uncomfortable/unsettling. If the way you are living and dealing with money isn’t helping you to create the life you would like, then slowly put in place some different habits.

    I hope some of these ideas will help you towards putting together a plan that will suit you and your situation. Good luck
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
  • National Debtline
    • #5
    • 13th Mar 17, 3:51 PM
    • #5
    • 13th Mar 17, 3:51 PM

    You’ve had some good advice from the others. I just wanted to add that as a compromise between paying the debts or not paying them you could also consider making full and final settlement offers. That way you might be able to deal with your debts and not have them hanging over you, but possibly still keep some of the £7k back for yourself.

    We work as money advisers for National Debtline and have specific permission from MSE to post to try to help those in debt. Read more information on National Debtline in MSE's Debt Problems: What to do and where to get help guide. If you find you're struggling with debt and need further help try our online advice tool My Money Steps
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 13th Mar 17, 4:04 PM
    • 11,898 Posts
    • 11,397 Thanks
    • #6
    • 13th Mar 17, 4:04 PM
    • #6
    • 13th Mar 17, 4:04 PM
    I would agree with James.

    The priority debts are the CCJ and the parking fine, pay those off first.

    The rest should all be open to negotiation, try to get them to all agree to a cheaper deal to settle.

    Get any agreements made in writing, to cover yourself.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
    Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there.
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to Any views are mine and not the official line of

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or, CAB.
    For Legal advice see :
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