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    • Vault101
    • By Vault101 2nd Mar 17, 11:39 AM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Vault101
    Advice needed - House or Wedding?
    • #1
    • 2nd Mar 17, 11:39 AM
    Advice needed - House or Wedding? 2nd Mar 17 at 11:39 AM
    Hi - first post - sorry if this is in the wrong place.

    My GF and I are locked in a bit of a dispute at the moment. She wants to get married, and knows exactly what she wants in a wedding (and wants a big-ish wedding and there's little room for negotiation)

    I also want to get married, and make her happy and give her what she wants, but I want us to save for and buy a house first. I think it's sensible to get a permanent roof over our heads and to not be paying rent for longer than we need before spending thousands on a wedding.

    I was just curious as to people's opinions on this? I appreciate that there's no right answer - but I'm always made to feel like I'm in the wrong about it, which has left me wondering perhaps I am.

    Thanks!
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    • Jolly44
    • By Jolly44 20th Mar 17, 12:13 AM
    • 11 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    Jolly44
    Reality bites!!
    In todays fast moving housing market getting onto the property ladder as early as possible is the best idea. However, the two of you must decide want you BOTH want out of your life together. It is true that girls dream about the big white wedding - which is absolutely ideal if the brides parents are footing the bill! I have had both - the big church production paid for by my parents with a reception for 200 guests - and my second was a small intimate affair, but with dress, bridesmaids, limo's at a Methodist Church with only 30 people at the buffet reception paid for by my second husband and I. The one I remember and enjoyed more was the second. I had time to chat with everyone who had been invited as they were all important to us and not distant relatives we hardly knew and friends of both our parents.. Because of the small wedding we were able to go abroad for our honeymoon then come home to our 'new home' we had bought a few months earlier and had been working on
    so we could move in together straight after we were married. Neither of us had ever had our own home before so we were delighted.
    There are many couples who rent their homes and never want to buy a place of their own there's nothing wrong with it and that's just fine - so long as it what BOTH of them want.
    When a girl wants something she usually won't rest until she gets it -so if the big wedding is a deal breaker and you cannot image your life without her - buying a house will have to go onto the back burner until, if ever, you can save enough for a deposit....
    Good luck with whatever you decide;
    • happyrose
    • By happyrose 22nd Mar 17, 8:59 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    happyrose
    happyrose
    Interesting attitude from partner - but if I could tell you about a very close friend. Big wedding with all the bells and whistles a few years back, and it really was a lovely day, renting flat with intentions of buying. As family grew they moved into rented house and now been given notice to quit as owner selling up. With less than 3 months to go they are unable to afford anything nearby - school and family for extra childcare essential - not enough for a deposit and renting market prices increased
    They now realise how vulnerable they are, could move into a dearer rented place and find themselves in same situation in 12 months time. If they remain and are evicted they could end up anywhere, not near school, family etc and in a b n b, if they refuse council help they are taken off the list.
    House for me all the way. Weddings can be done on a budget, be creative, most spend because they are materialistic, duped into marketing and want to impress "friends" !!!
    • LKRDN_Morgan
    • By LKRDN_Morgan 22nd Mar 17, 7:40 PM
    • 198 Posts
    • 625 Thanks
    LKRDN_Morgan
    Go for the house first!
    We went down the wedding route first and I really regret it. In the last 2 years since we got married house prices where we live have risen so much we're almost priced it. Thankfully we've just managed to secure a mortgage but I'm not being dramatic when I say another 6 months might have been a different story.
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