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    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 25th Feb 17, 8:39 AM
    • 174Posts
    • 267Thanks
    2017 - moving life forwards
    • #1
    • 25th Feb 17, 8:39 AM
    2017 - moving life forwards 25th Feb 17 at 8:39 AM

    New diary for a (hopefully!) new period in life. About me: 38, co-habiting (partner shall henceforth be referred to as "BD"), 1 cat.

    Currently living with BD in my house (or flouse as my friend calls it as it is not really a flat but not really a house!). It's under offer and we are hoping to sell this and buy our new house mid aprill. BD's flat has been on market for a while but little interest due to colossal service charges so that is rented out until Feb 2018. But our house purchase has hit a few problems, mainly due to boundary issues (which are solvable but which may be impacting on timetable!) and we are not certain it is all going to go through in time.

    Once in the new house, we are going to actively start trying for a family. If it happens before then, it happens but we are not actively trying right now due to house stress.

    Why am I here? Well, I used to have NO clue about money (I really think they should teach you what the heck an interest rate is at school and what credit cards and store cards actually mean and charge!) and was in a LOT of debt through university and my early to mid-20's. I had no clue what an interest rate was and instead just saw credit and store cards as "free" money. Often missed payments, not cos I couldn't pay (though this did become more of the case towards the end of the bad spell!) but just cos I wasn't organised and didn't realise what impact they had! Makes me sick to the stomach when I think of all the money I wasted over the years.

    I bought a maisonette in tooting in Nov 2003 (got a 100% mortgage - you could in those days!), then in April 2004, lost my job. Luckily I had income protection but of course, they don't tell you that doesn't kick in for a certain period. Also, I seem to recall that back then I also couldn't claim benefits for a period. Sadly, a few weeks before I lost my job I signed on the dotted line for a new kitchen (got royal ripped off there too) which cost me 10k (it probably should have cost 2-3 but I was so naive in those days) so had to max out the credit cards to pay for it.

    My parents offered to help but I felt I had got myself into that mess (basically it was partially my fault I got the boot as I wasn't really taking my job seriously) so declined as wanted to get self out of it. So moved, got a new job, towed the line, consolidated debt. Rented out the tooting flat and eventually bought the place I live in now. BD moved in mid June 2015 so mortgage and bills split.

    Fast forward to now and I am pretty comfortable. Luckily I had a job where I earned big bucks which enabled me to pay off all my debt, and save loads and buy the place we live in now. However, that came at a price and I was so overworked and stressed (and underpaid actually compared to others in the market and for the hours I worked) that my hair started falling out and I suffered from anxiety, panic attacks, IBS, acid reflux and regularly wanted to have a non-fatal accident so I could be admitted to hospital and not have to go to work). Eventually I couldn't take any more so quit at start of last year, and took some time off to recharge the batteries.

    Mid last year I started a new job in a much less stressful role and for only 4 days a week. Took a pay cut because of the 4 day week but worked out if I scaled the package up to 5 days, I was actually earning the same as I had been in the stressful job (which shows that decision to leave was def right!)

    Now we are about to embark (hopefully) on the next chapter in life, but feel I need to be here to try to keep myself on straight and narrow spend-wise, particularly as I now physically have less cash coming in each month and our mortgage is going to double with new house (and bills will be more too). I also need to save for maternity leave.

    I constantly worry about money (which BD doesn't understand) and the future and whether we will have enough in retirement. It's silly because on paper we are comfortable, but I think it's because I've been in serious debt before that I am constantly doing sums in my head. The tooting flat was bought for 160k (plus 48k for extension of leasehold recently) and is now worth around 450k. It has around 100k left on the mortgage and is rented out. I will own it outright by age 50, after which the rental will provide pure income. Have only just started a pension as my old job didn't have one (surprise surprise) which 630 per month goes into. BD's flat has around 75k of equity in it and he has a work pension too. We have a lot in savings at the moment but that will be left at minimal when we buy the new house as we are putting down 20% deposit plus fees, stamp duty etc. Other than our 3 mortgages on the 3 properties, we have no debt.

    So, probably most people will think I have nothing to moan about but I still worry because I know how easy it is to get into debt as I have been there previously. I also worry because children are expensive and we might have to pay for private school if the school they are allocated isn't very good. BD is a semi professional photographer and used to do weddings which he can charge up to 3k for, but he quit doing them as he found them quite stressful, but I guess could do a couple if we needed school fees (but wouldn't want him to if he found it stressful).

    So, apologies for the brain dump but I'm here to try to rein in the spending!

    Today is food shop and I have a list - we have budgeted £150 (which I know is a lot) as BD wants me to bake a cake today so quite a lot needed for that, plus this week we need coffee, loo roll, dishwasher tablets etc etc. Once we've done that, think we will have lunch at home (it's rubbish weather out there today) from what we've bought, then maybe reading this afternoon and bake the cake. BD is out at his friends tonight so I will be cooking a nice chicken dish from stores and watching a pre-recorded movie with the cat.

    Tomorrow BD will probably work in the morning, then we are at his mum's for lunch (so free lunch) and will cook a roast from the weekly shop tomorrow evening
    Last edited by coastalchick; 25-02-2017 at 9:37 AM.
Page 9
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 11th Sep 17, 10:44 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    Annoyingly our friends cancelled. They were moving into temporary accommodation and said they were shattered. We were really quite annoyed as we really needed it. I do get annoyed when people say they are "here for you" and then just aren't. Even worse was that this was B's best mate and his cousin (who are married). Anyway, B and I went out just the 2 of us to our favourite pasta place. Was £36 each which was really good value - we had a beer and a prosecco, 2 bottles of red, shared a starter and had a main each. It's our favourite place to go.

    B got a bit of food over the weekend but we pretty much cooked from stores which was good. I need to go to supermarket today to get food for tonight and tomorrow but hoping that will be minimal. Weds am at a friends for thai takeout so that should be around £10. Thurs I have a drinks and canap!s thing with B's work and my work (which I organised so have to go really) - the canap!s in the restaurant are amazing so that will be a free dinner.
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 11th Sep 17, 5:33 PM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    another £44.82/2 in supermarket - arghhhh! and barely bought anything. Got 4 fillets of salmon and that was £15. Ridiculous. Esp as B wants to do 3 fillets tonight (so 1.5 each) as he feels 1 isn't enough for tea!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 14th Sep 17, 7:41 PM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    Will post spends tomorrow. Crappy day - went back to work even though signed off until monday. Was fine until just after 5 when someone handed me a card to sign with "It's a girl!" on the front for someone who's partner has just had a baby. You honestly couldn't write it!!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 15th Sep 17, 9:32 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    So, spends over last few days have been quite a lot. In fact, just under £100. Mainly on food but also included petrol, cat food (he is on special diet for fatty's so it costs a lot) and also some bits from b**ts - gloves for fake tan (which were 3 for 2 so ok), toothpaste (on offer), deodorant (on offer) and some wellman conception vitamins for B (which he hasn't yet taken!!!).

    Have £684.83 in spends budget which is to last until Tuesday so done ok this month. Though having full head highlights, cut and blow this pm so that will probs be around £150/160 as also need shampoo.

    Tonight B and I are out, just the 2 of us, to properly celebrate our engagement. We have a £60 voucher however which B's mum bought us for christmas so it shouldn't be too expensive.

    Then I need some clothes for our holiday which we go on next week. I was 2st overweight anyway and have now put on an extra 6 lbs with all the wallowing over the last couple of weeks after the MC. I had bought maternity clothes for going on hols, only because I thought if I hadn't ordered them when I did (which was obv when I was pregnant!) then there would be none left due to the change in seasons now. I suppose I could still wear them, but do I want to?? Guess it depends if I find anything left in the shops here tomorrow - may have no choice!!!

    So then we need food for next few days but hoping I won't spend all of what's left and will be able to put some into savings. Slowly building the savings pot back up after having bought the house in April. And now (sadly) won't have to worry about saving for maternity leave. If we get pregnant again and can hold onto it this time, I will qualify for paid leave, so will only be 2 months of unpaid if I want to take extra time off (which I will) and we can cope for a couple of months on statutory pay and B's wages.

    Got a bit of a shock earlier as our electricity bill came saying we owed £238!!!!. We pay £96pcm on DD. Anyway, as it was only an estimated statement I checked the meter and that brought it down to £35 we owe. But we are on a standard tariff so have asked them to send me the form to change tariff. So hopefully that should be ok. Otherwise we will need to increase our DD by around £12 a month I think.

    My birthday next week. 39. Don't feel much like celebrating that, though as my mother says, "the alternative's not so good". B has asked what I want for my birthday. Can't really think of anything though have 3 of my grandma's rings which my mum gave me and said do whatever you want with. They are pretty ugly rings which I wouldn't wear but there are lots of lovely diamonds in them. So thinking I"d like B to contribute towards having a necklace made from one of the diamonds in one of the rings (there's a massive diamond in one which would make a lovely drop necklace I think). My parents also gave me £250 for birthday so we can put that towards it (no idea how much these things cost) so think we will go and see jewellers tomorrow to enquire. Already wanting to get one of the rings made into my wedding ring so it will be nice to use one of the others for a necklace
    • Kittychick
    • By Kittychick 15th Sep 17, 9:39 AM
    • 142 Posts
    • 356 Thanks
    That sounds like a lovely idea.. I'll be interested to know what sort of prices you get
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 15th Sep 17, 9:58 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    Re weight issue have also decided as follows: If I get pregnant (as we will start trying again presuming we get the all clear at our follow up scan tues) then I will try to lose weight by walking lots (as they say you shouldn't start exercising other than walking or swimming (which I hate) if you haven't exercised for a long time before). If I don't (by the time we are back from hols) then I will start an exercise/running (mainly running) plan again to start trying to shift these pounds, maybe also with WW.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 18th Sep 17, 1:44 PM
    • 758 Posts
    • 691 Thanks
    Hey love! Sorry I haven’t commented in a little while, been away on me holibobs! Sorry to hear about what happened at work, people can be so insensitive sometimes but probably thought they didn’t want to leave you out of signing your colleague’s card.. Really rough for you, hope you’ve had a better day today!

    Hope you’re looking forward to your holiday, it’ll be a nice break and hopefully you and B can relax after the stressful time you’ve had. Sounds like a good idea about the rings, I also have lots of jewellery from family that I’d never wear and BF and I said if we ever get married we’ll get all the diamonds taken from them and have them set in to a wedding band, much rather have them in something that can be worn that sitting in a box unloved when they’re so sentimental!
    Loan (overpaying): £3,600 £3,093.60
    Car Insurance: £550.82 £410.82
    Credit Card: £781
    Car PCP: £11,450 £10,665.54
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 19th Sep 17, 5:07 PM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    Hey Sauce - hope you had a good holiday! To be fair to the woman who gave me the card, she didn't know and was mortified when I told her! But more pics of the baby were circulated yesterday which is hard. I think your bf's idea re your family jewellery is a lovely idea too. Love also that he's used the M word too!

    Today has not been great. Went to see the consultant and the good news is I got the all clear - everything is gone when normally they find tissue left. So that's good. However, he was really patronising and upset me and I fled the room in tears at one point. Not really wearing my big girl pants today. Must remember for next time.

    B and I went mad with the spending over the weekend and were out literally all weekend eating and drinking. Also got some clothes, a mani/pedi, hair done, things needed for hols like sun cream etc and food so now have £196.23 left until tomorrow. Which is good, but it should be more. Anyways, will hoof that over into savings tonight then we are paid tomorrow so get a whole new month's budget.
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