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    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 25th Feb 17, 8:39 AM
    • 88Posts
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    coastalchick
    2017 - moving life forwards
    • #1
    • 25th Feb 17, 8:39 AM
    2017 - moving life forwards 25th Feb 17 at 8:39 AM
    Hi

    New diary for a (hopefully!) new period in life. About me: 38, co-habiting (partner shall henceforth be referred to as "BD"), 1 cat.

    Currently living with BD in my house (or flouse as my friend calls it as it is not really a flat but not really a house!). It's under offer and we are hoping to sell this and buy our new house mid aprill. BD's flat has been on market for a while but little interest due to colossal service charges so that is rented out until Feb 2018. But our house purchase has hit a few problems, mainly due to boundary issues (which are solvable but which may be impacting on timetable!) and we are not certain it is all going to go through in time.

    Once in the new house, we are going to actively start trying for a family. If it happens before then, it happens but we are not actively trying right now due to house stress.

    Why am I here? Well, I used to have NO clue about money (I really think they should teach you what the heck an interest rate is at school and what credit cards and store cards actually mean and charge!) and was in a LOT of debt through university and my early to mid-20's. I had no clue what an interest rate was and instead just saw credit and store cards as "free" money. Often missed payments, not cos I couldn't pay (though this did become more of the case towards the end of the bad spell!) but just cos I wasn't organised and didn't realise what impact they had! Makes me sick to the stomach when I think of all the money I wasted over the years.

    I bought a maisonette in tooting in Nov 2003 (got a 100% mortgage - you could in those days!), then in April 2004, lost my job. Luckily I had income protection but of course, they don't tell you that doesn't kick in for a certain period. Also, I seem to recall that back then I also couldn't claim benefits for a period. Sadly, a few weeks before I lost my job I signed on the dotted line for a new kitchen (got royal ripped off there too) which cost me 10k (it probably should have cost 2-3 but I was so naive in those days) so had to max out the credit cards to pay for it.

    My parents offered to help but I felt I had got myself into that mess (basically it was partially my fault I got the boot as I wasn't really taking my job seriously) so declined as wanted to get self out of it. So moved, got a new job, towed the line, consolidated debt. Rented out the tooting flat and eventually bought the place I live in now. BD moved in mid June 2015 so mortgage and bills split.

    Fast forward to now and I am pretty comfortable. Luckily I had a job where I earned big bucks which enabled me to pay off all my debt, and save loads and buy the place we live in now. However, that came at a price and I was so overworked and stressed (and underpaid actually compared to others in the market and for the hours I worked) that my hair started falling out and I suffered from anxiety, panic attacks, IBS, acid reflux and regularly wanted to have a non-fatal accident so I could be admitted to hospital and not have to go to work). Eventually I couldn't take any more so quit at start of last year, and took some time off to recharge the batteries.

    Mid last year I started a new job in a much less stressful role and for only 4 days a week. Took a pay cut because of the 4 day week but worked out if I scaled the package up to 5 days, I was actually earning the same as I had been in the stressful job (which shows that decision to leave was def right!)

    Now we are about to embark (hopefully) on the next chapter in life, but feel I need to be here to try to keep myself on straight and narrow spend-wise, particularly as I now physically have less cash coming in each month and our mortgage is going to double with new house (and bills will be more too). I also need to save for maternity leave.

    I constantly worry about money (which BD doesn't understand) and the future and whether we will have enough in retirement. It's silly because on paper we are comfortable, but I think it's because I've been in serious debt before that I am constantly doing sums in my head. The tooting flat was bought for 160k (plus 48k for extension of leasehold recently) and is now worth around 450k. It has around 100k left on the mortgage and is rented out. I will own it outright by age 50, after which the rental will provide pure income. Have only just started a pension as my old job didn't have one (surprise surprise) which 630 per month goes into. BD's flat has around 75k of equity in it and he has a work pension too. We have a lot in savings at the moment but that will be left at minimal when we buy the new house as we are putting down 20% deposit plus fees, stamp duty etc. Other than our 3 mortgages on the 3 properties, we have no debt.

    So, probably most people will think I have nothing to moan about but I still worry because I know how easy it is to get into debt as I have been there previously. I also worry because children are expensive and we might have to pay for private school if the school they are allocated isn't very good. BD is a semi professional photographer and used to do weddings which he can charge up to 3k for, but he quit doing them as he found them quite stressful, but I guess could do a couple if we needed school fees (but wouldn't want him to if he found it stressful).

    So, apologies for the brain dump but I'm here to try to rein in the spending!

    Today is food shop and I have a list - we have budgeted £150 (which I know is a lot) as BD wants me to bake a cake today so quite a lot needed for that, plus this week we need coffee, loo roll, dishwasher tablets etc etc. Once we've done that, think we will have lunch at home (it's rubbish weather out there today) from what we've bought, then maybe reading this afternoon and bake the cake. BD is out at his friends tonight so I will be cooking a nice chicken dish from stores and watching a pre-recorded movie with the cat.

    Tomorrow BD will probably work in the morning, then we are at his mum's for lunch (so free lunch) and will cook a roast from the weekly shop tomorrow evening
    Last edited by coastalchick; 25-02-2017 at 9:37 AM.
Page 4
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 31st May 17, 8:40 AM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    B has gone to get more gravel for drive - more £££.

    I have a manicure and pedicure at 11 given my toes will be on display in Madrid! That will be £80. Not good.

    Then b**ts as didn't go yesterday to get things needed for hols. Need to pack also.

    Though Madrid spending is coming out of holiday fund, it still worries me. I just worry about not having enough in old age or when (IF) we have kids. That is kind of on hold right now. B is a little overwhelmed with house move I think so on hold. But in some ways good as if have one before may 2018 I don't qualify for paid leave anyway. Plus we have Madrid then France to get through. But I turn 39 in September and really think we should be cracking on. But is a joint decision so can't force it.
    • sauceoclock
    • By sauceoclock 8th Jun 17, 3:44 PM
    • 721 Posts
    • 642 Thanks
    sauceoclock
    Hope Madrid is/was fun!! How is your back? xx
    Christmas Shopping: £30 Amazon £30 Argos £10 Tesco
    Loan: £3,000.00
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 9th Jun 17, 8:16 AM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    hey sauce. Madrid was amazing! What a lovely city! Just so relaxing (though boozy!). Of course £££ but holidays and memories are important to us.

    Back held up ok. Had to take the odd pain killer here and there (esp when we went to guns n roses and were standing up for hours!).

    Was hell even getting through 3 days at work this week since whilst relaxed, was knackered as the Spanish eat really late (we are normally in bed by 10!).

    Not spent much since got back - the odd thing here and there. The horrid girl came round on weds night with 1 of the nice girls, was meant to be 3 but one dropped out. Had usual shennanigans of her wanting to bring her dog (despite me having a cat) and me saying no and her getting in a huff. Then bullying me as usual into letting the dog in and the cat had a freak out. Someone at my work said "she is a lady who always gets her way". Of course I paid for the take away £27 (even though mine was only £7) and no transfer of cash yet.

    Off today (thank the lord) so walking to trainer in a mo then will walk back - will be £32.50 but need to do it. Then tomorrow I have an induction at a gym. I have really piled on the pounds (can't get into my clothes) so have decided its time to do something. Am cutting down on food and booze (apart from next weekend in france!) but just don't think it's realistic to diet when food forms such a huge part of mine and B's relationship/life so have decided to up the exercise instead. It's £7.20 per session at local gym. Because of work I can get a rate of £45 a month but have to sign up for 3 months and don't know if I like it yet so going to just see how I like it/how much I use it for a month before making a decision.

    Tonight is "big shop" though we are living out of freezer next week so hopefully won't spend too much. We are also in all weekend. B has his male friends round tomorrow afternoon to watch the cricket so I will either meet one of my friends or just retreat upstairs and work on my book!

    After trainer I need to go to shops to get milk/something for lunch (always same on a friday!!) then will work on book all afternoon. Have blinds man and tiler coming round from 2 so need to let them in. Will prob get us something for tea at shop as well.

    So glad we are in this weekend!!!!
    Last edited by coastalchick; 09-06-2017 at 10:50 AM.
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 9th Jun 17, 10:53 AM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    so glad walked to trainer and back as feel like have done a good amount of exercise already today. \

    Just went through freezer and we had: 4 portions of home made lasagne, 4 portions of home made tagine, 1 portion of home made risotto, a pork tenderloin, 2 sausages, 1 burger, 2 kebab things, 2 lemon sole fillets, 1 salmon fillet, a pizza and 2 pulled pork things. So we will be eating from there next week and just adding veg/couscous, plus will get some roast chicken and wraps and salad to make lunches (cos we got back late monday we just bought sarnies this week and was a fortune!).

    Going to shower now and go to shops. As we don't need much (need loo roll and bleach, work biscuits, milk, that sort of thing) will do our big shop now so B can just chill tonight.

    Then lunch and will work on my book!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 9th Jun 17, 1:24 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    hmmm, so still £74 in supermarket!!!! But £20 of it was on a meal for tonight and a diffuser thingie to make bathroom smell nice. Also got some corona as just fancied them (and they were 20% off when I got to them) but other than that, not quite sure how it stacked up as didn't really buy much extra to what was on list. We needed cheese which is always expensive and got cereal (3 packs as all on offer) so just not quite sure how that happened!

    Am suffering from terrible acid today even though have taken a tablet for it. Not quite sure why but it's really unpleasant!

    Just went through accounts and have around £500 left from this month's budget which is to last until 19th. We are away in france with friends next weekend and accommodation still needs to be settled (as friend has not told how much we owe yet despite chasing!!) but that will be paid for from my holiday account and we have around E550 left from Madrid (as we got more out knowing we could use rest in france) so hoping that will cover everything (my friends eat and drink A LOT).

    Nice girl has paid up for take out but unsurprisingly horrid girl hasn't. This is how it ALWAYS is and usually, if I meet her for lunch (which I don't anymore as she actively dislikes me!) then she will inevitably "forget" her purse or card or whatever and I end up paying then it takes weeks of chasing to get it back from her. I paid for her cinema ticket last time we went (last year) which she still hasn't paid me back for!

    Wouldn't mind if it was the odd time and there are some friends it comes out in the wash with where they pay one time and you pay another or something, or you're out the next time and they remember they owe you so chip in the debt to cover a bit off your bill, but it is literally EVERY time with her.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 9th Jun 17, 4:51 PM
    • 3,544 Posts
    • 6,178 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I would not put up with that and refuse to pay for the "so called" friend. Point out she still owes you from the time before and the time before that and let her either pay or sit there watching you eat particularly if she does it every time. You could always say you can't afford to pay for her too.
    Debt and mortgage free and saving for early retirement
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 10th Jun 17, 12:52 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Thanks ES. Wish I could do that but the other girls (who LOVE her - so maybe it's just that I'm an old fuddy no fun duddy) would probs think I was being a b1tch as she seems to pay up to them! She's always been like this with me though and bullies me whereas she doesn't bully the others.

    So, today, have been to gym! Had induction then worked out for an hour - was £7.20 (which I paid over the phone the other day to book place) as paying by session but will see how often I go (and want to test how busy it is in the week) before decide whether or not to get a membership. But walked there and back (approx 25 mins each way) so that's good. Took no cards with me and own water.

    About to have lunch from stores now. Have a small quiche (never realised how many calories in those things until now - ffs!!!!) and we had 3 eggs to use up so will make a small amount of scrambled eggs with a bit of cheese. Then a roll each, leftover crisps and a token bit of salad. Not the healthiest I know and am quite annoyed it's all we really have for lunch after doing a workout!

    Then got to clean inside of car as we are taking it to france on fri for long weekend with friends. B washed outside yesterday so I will clear inside of rubbish and give it a clean today and a hoover when at B's mum's tomorrow.

    Then not sure what this pm - maybe work on my book. B is outside (and has been since around 9am) dealing with the garden! We had massive ant hills (and loads of them) so had to get the chap to come around and spray twice and B is now washing them all away with a power washer. Horrid little things. Red ants too!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 11th Jun 17, 11:38 AM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    arrghhhh, B sent me out for more beers yesterday and ended up also buying the weekend newspapers (FT for B, daily mail for me), more crisps and more burger buns - £17!!!!. Then one of B's mates messaged say he was passing and could he pop in. He is a MASSIVE drinker so we literally went through the beers (8) in an hour! Plus all crisps!! Then he went and B and I had a bbq and carried on!

    Today should be v minimal spend, need some more milk but have got lasagne out of freezer for tea - will have that with spinach.
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 14th Jun 17, 8:35 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    this week not been too bad spend-wise. have taken lunch from stores in each day and have walked to and from work increasing fitness and saving petrol money. Ordered my dad some father's day presents so was about £28. Had to pay the ant killer man which was £25 each (but from house account) and had to pay friend for france accommodation £116 (but from holiday account). Spent £7.99 on 2 breathalyser tests which apparently you now have to have in france when driving and £7.20 on gym.

    Am knackered after it as walked home (25 mins) as well - did 30 mins running and 30 mins on bike plus weights. Ready for bed now!!!

    Nasty girl finally paid up but made a dig about fact I had got take out saying that the reason the rest of them cook was because then don't have to chase for cash. I went back saying I'd only suggested that as thought it was the done thing, as the other girl, who had organised a night at hers, had suggested take out for her night so I hence I thought it was the done thing (almost said and there seems to be loads I've not been invited to recently so no wonder I wasn't aware, but resisted!). Then she came back saying no, that was only if loads of people and the other girl had 2 kids to juggle!!!! I do get rather annoyed with this whole "I've got kids so I can't do x, y, z/need special dispensation" thing - she also works more part time than me so has more time to cook! But she did recognise I'd bought pudding (neglected to mention I'd also provided wine).

    Thank god she will be gone soon so I don't have to put up with her b*llsh1t and bullying any more!!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 15th Jun 17, 8:21 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    walked to work again and took lunch from stores. Got a free slice of brownie as was a partners meeting at lunch and cake left over but I just took a slither due to calorie issues! Got my dad a father's day card (£2.50) and stamp for that and for posting our planning application (£1.71). Got some stuff from b**ts - £16.53 but B will be on the hook for some of it.

    Then B wanted to go out for dinner. Think because we are now off until tues. So went to a local pizza place. B decided to treat me and thank god as was £63!!!! Had a pizza each, shared side fries and salad, shared a tiramisu, I had 2 G&T's and B had 1. Plus tip. Then walked home (35 mins) though I had to stop for a wee 3 times!!!!

    Now B outside having lit the chiminea, and I'm inside having just exfoliated and moisturised to do fake tan. Both drinking "posh" coffee (tassimo).

    Have cancelled trainer for tomorrow as he is £32.50 and will go to gym instead (£7.20). Then need bag of cat food (approx £31 but split with B), to get us lunch for tomorrow and fill car with petrol before heading off to french france for the weekend. Oh, need illuminous vests too as is french law!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 16th Jun 17, 8:41 AM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    oh, forgot a major spend - our planning application was £360 (£180 each) so that's a biggie. Reckon after spending today and filling car with petrol will have around £150 spare so thinking will divide that 3 ways - house account (as we need new bed frame and sofa), holiday account and savings.

    Not managed to make gym today as don't want socks to wreck fake tan as in france for 4 days and due to be a scorcher so will need to wear dresses to keep cool. The fake tan comment prob makes me sound arrogant but I'm not, it's just that I am literally SO pale (used to get picked on at school for it) that fake tan makes me look like a "normal" person!! Might try and do a davina fit though.

    Still worry EVERY day re money and that we won't have enough in the future. Do most people worry?
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 20th Jun 17, 7:32 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    back from france - was a really good laugh with my very good friends - just what I needed after all the !!!!!iness which has gone on. Had a very frank discussion with the 2 girls on this trip and we all realised that neither of us really have many girly friends as we are not typical girlies but that's why the 3 of us get on so well.

    Not sure how much we spent as thought it was easier for 1 person to put everything (supermarket shopping, dinner and lunch out) on card and he will then let us know later on. Though we bought all the breads and pastries in the mornings plus bbq lighters, coals etc so we will get that knocked off.

    Did a "big shop" yesterday - was £43 to get us through to friday. That came out of last month's budget so had around £130 left over and divided that up 3 ways to house account, holidays and savings. Got paid today - yay! Took breakfast and lunch from stores today. Had wanted to not spend anything all week but fancied strawberries so ended up getting those and grapes on way home. Then the crisps we like were on BOGOF so total was £5.98/2. Oh and 70p on a can of diet coke out the machine at work but that was out of cash in my purse leftover from last month that seems pointless paying into bank.

    Going to try not to spend now, though we will do big shop for next week on friday night so we won't go out. As much as I loved the weekend away I am SO excited about a weekend in! No plans!!!! Just going to get house straight and cleaned! Oh poo, forgot have got a friend and her kid coming round friday for tea/cake so need to buy a cake!!!
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 21st Jun 17, 6:12 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    NSD for me! First one for a while. Almost spent 70p on chocolate bar from machine at work but had a hob nob snack bar thing in my desk so had that instead (even though would've preferred chocolate!). But fail on the walk to and from work today and yesterday because of weather. Thus no saving petrol or getting thin!

    B has band and a curry tonight. Actually can't wait for him to go out so I can have house to self and more importantly the tv!!!!! Dinner tonight is a meal from 3 for £10 so will cook B's portion as well given he's going for curry and we can chop that up to have in wraps tomorrow.

    Aiming for another NSD tomorrow!

    Do still worry about money all the time. Also see people driving past me in big fancy cars and wish I could have one/afford not to worry. But then I think it's in my gift to earn more or work 5 days a week but I don't want to cos of my health
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 22nd Jun 17, 8:54 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    sadly not a NSD. Needed to get cake for friend coming over tomorrow then got her little one some chocolate chip brioche in case she can't have the cake. And needed milk. Then B wanted crisps so got 2 big bags on BOGOF (even though we've still a bag from the other night he said he wanted more yet hasn't even touched them!!!) then got these mini chocolate tart things too. Good job I got a fair bit as girl coming round suggested I invite one of the other girls and her two kids. They are the two girls who I want to stay friends with in that group. Was £8.48 total so £4.24 for my half so not too bad really.

    Hoping to get to gym in morning but we have cracked open a red wine. I'm watching a film and B upstairs sorting out his stuff which had been dumped into spare room until now. Trying to sell our old mattress - only a year old so asking £250 but will be happy to get over £100 for it. It's in vgc as only been slept on for a year and with mattress protector.
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 23rd Jun 17, 12:04 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 171 Thanks
    coastalchick
    didn't make gym, though not cos was hungover (only had about a glass), but cos got up late and needed to clean before friends get here. Almost done with cleaning, just got to dust and then hoover lounge/plump up sofa cushions. Kitchen and bathrooms all done.

    NSD so far but we are "big shop" and poss take away tonight so that won't last long. Need to do a list for that. B was supposed to help me but somehow always manages to shirk that one (to be fair he was sorting all his stuff out most of the night upstairs so it's not like he's been sat on his !!!!!)

    Nothing in for lunch but can't be bothered to go out any get any. Is a bacon and potato packet thing in cupboard (v unhealthy) which could fry up but may just have cereal given am having cake this pm.
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