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  • FIRST POST
    • spangieuk
    • By spangieuk 27th Jan 17, 2:38 PM
    • 30Posts
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    spangieuk
    My son is moving back after 8 years away, how much do I charge him rent?
    • #1
    • 27th Jan 17, 2:38 PM
    My son is moving back after 8 years away, how much do I charge him rent? 27th Jan 17 at 2:38 PM
    Hi everyone,

    My son is moving back in with me after moving out at 18 - now 8 years ago. Currently it is me and my daughter (who is 17).

    I have absolutely no idea what to charge him for rent and was hoping for some guidance or suggestions from fellow money savers!

    I live in a 3 bed semi, me and my daughter have a double room each and my son will be taking the smaller room. His current housemate is moving in with his girlfriend and my son can't afford to rent a house on his own.

    He works full time, as do I, and he earns around £20k a year. The ultimate objective is for him to try to get some money together to get a deposit on a house. I am not in the position to help him do that in anyway unfortunately, so I suggested that he move in and try and actively save some money using one or other of the government incentive schemes that are available, but he has to be actively making an effort to do this, he is not coming home to use the house like a cheap hotel room.

    It will obviously mean some adjustments to everyone in the house, me and my girlie are used to living in a girlie house, with no men in it - so getting used to having an almost 6 foot young lad around again will take some getting used to I am sure - even if I do adore him!

    So how much rent do I charge, knowing that I am not in the position to be able to support him for free, but want to help him as much as I can so that he can get his foot on the housing ladder.

    There are the obvious increases in all the bills, and the loss of single council tax occupancy, then all the increase in food/cleaning stuff/washing powder etc.

    Aggggghhhhh - PLEASE HELP ME!!!

    I think I have 2 options - £300 a month with everything paid for, (he can do his own washing and stuff - I am not being a skivvy!!) although I don't mind cooking when I do it, because i will be doing it anyway. With £300 a month, I was thinking of filtering £75 into a savings account to give him at some given point in time (when he either moves out, or is almost to his goal or whatever) and the £225 to help towards bills and food etc.

    The alternative I thought of is that I just charge him a flat £200 rent, spend it all on the bills, and he pays for his own food, washing powder etc, or we keep all receipts and split it up between 3 at the end of the month (I pay 2/3rds for me and my daughter) and he pays 1/3rd for him and we keep it on actuals.

    The only thing that slightly concerns me about that option is that he just does't buy it (cos he is skint or whatever) and I end up paying myself anyway! Which I guess wouldn't happen if we did the maths on our paydays (luckily we both get paid on the same day - so this would work!!) So effectively he is always a month behind - he eats etc for a month, then pays me the proper total.

    Any ideas or inspiration or wise people that can help?!
Page 1
    • jon81uk
    • By jon81uk 27th Jan 17, 2:43 PM
    • 713 Posts
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    jon81uk
    • #2
    • 27th Jan 17, 2:43 PM
    • #2
    • 27th Jan 17, 2:43 PM
    add mortgage/rent, insureance, tax and bills together and divide by 2.5 people (daoughter counts as the 0.5) and that should give an idea.

    So if mortgage £500 a month, plus £100 elec/gas/water and another £100 council tax and house insurance £20 maybe is £720 total, or about £288 each for the adults and £144 for your daugter. So charging him £300 wouldn't be wrong in that respect to give you a buffer. But obviously these are just example numbers. But he would have been paying a LOT more for a share of a private rented place I would expect.
    • Sambella
    • By Sambella 27th Jan 17, 2:45 PM
    • 252 Posts
    • 246 Thanks
    Sambella
    • #3
    • 27th Jan 17, 2:45 PM
    • #3
    • 27th Jan 17, 2:45 PM
    £300 is a lot. Your utility bills shouldn't go up all that much nor would your food shop.

    I only charge my son £160. Used to be £150 but it went up £10 this month. Inflation ya know ...
    • rev229
    • By rev229 27th Jan 17, 5:15 PM
    • 1,015 Posts
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    rev229
    • #4
    • 27th Jan 17, 5:15 PM
    • #4
    • 27th Jan 17, 5:15 PM
    We added the bills and then divided by 4 as 4 of us live here. My son pays his 1/4 which is not a lot a we don't have a mortgage. He is 20 and earns about 14,000. But he does pay for his own car etc. I do everything for him, only because he will move out one day (I live in hope) and realise just how easy life was at home! In fairness to him he doesn't complain, as he knows my answer..... move out!! Not too sure I'd want him back after he leaves though. I'm looking forward to 'empty nest syndrome'!!
    • bargainbetty
    • By bargainbetty 27th Jan 17, 5:43 PM
    • 3,076 Posts
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    bargainbetty
    • #5
    • 27th Jan 17, 5:43 PM
    • #5
    • 27th Jan 17, 5:43 PM
    Personally, I'd say that on that salary, £300 per month 'all in' is cheap and would still enable him to save. He should also pay a contribution for the additional food bills (judged after a month of grocery shopping).

    Save a bit towards a deposit for him if you wish, but he is a grown man and needs to stand on his own feet when it comes to paying for a roof over his head, and you will find that the bills will go up more than you anticipate!
    Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....
    LB moment - March 2006. DFD - 1 June 2012!!! DEBT FREE!
    MFW - Joined May 2012, aiming to cut the mortgage by an extra two months every year. (Overpaid £3000 so far)
    , only 11 years to go.

    • McKneff
    • By McKneff 27th Jan 17, 7:00 PM
    • 35,235 Posts
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    McKneff
    • #6
    • 27th Jan 17, 7:00 PM
    • #6
    • 27th Jan 17, 7:00 PM
    I would just add his washing to yours or your electric bill will soar. He will have it on washing one or two shirts. The ironing is his job though x
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
    • SmlSave
    • By SmlSave 27th Jan 17, 8:47 PM
    • 4,693 Posts
    • 16,310 Thanks
    SmlSave
    • #7
    • 27th Jan 17, 8:47 PM
    • #7
    • 27th Jan 17, 8:47 PM
    £200-£300 sounds a good start point to me. My MIL charges extra for ironing and washing clothes as BIL is capable of doing it himself.
    Perhaps review after a few months and record how your bills and shopping gets affected.
    If you can save some of the money that's lovely but keep it a surprise for when he moves out
    Boy Smllet born 23/06/2011 and Girl Smllet born 01/03/2014

    5 year challenge to pay off £20,000
    £350 per month challenge
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 27th Jan 17, 8:51 PM
    • 916 Posts
    • 1,556 Thanks
    Jackieboy
    • #8
    • 27th Jan 17, 8:51 PM
    • #8
    • 27th Jan 17, 8:51 PM
    £300 is a lot. Your utility bills shouldn't go up all that much nor would your food shop.

    I only charge my son £160. Used to be £150 but it went up £10 this month. Inflation ya know ...
    Originally posted by Sambella
    Forty quid is a pittance if it includes all food.
    • mickey54
    • By mickey54 27th Jan 17, 8:59 PM
    • 331 Posts
    • 487 Thanks
    mickey54
    • #9
    • 27th Jan 17, 8:59 PM
    • #9
    • 27th Jan 17, 8:59 PM
    what he was paying staying on his own, and work out from there.

    Everyone has a different idea as to whats fair.

    What does your son think he should pay?
    • spangieuk
    • By spangieuk 27th Jan 17, 10:14 PM
    • 30 Posts
    • 35 Thanks
    spangieuk
    Thank you for all your comments everyone. Varied views from all over.

    He is definitely one that would stick 2 shirts in the wash and then the tumble drier just because he wanted them quick! I will do the washing!!

    My household bills come to £1100. each month (that is obviously minus my own stuff like mobile phone, critical illness cover, car tax/insurance etc) and then there is grocery shopping on top of that.

    I have to confess, I wasn't expecting my almost empty nest to start filling up again!

    I spoke to him tonight actually and we broached the subject, and decided he will come round one night and we will go through all his money, see what his own objectives are, see how that fits into my own financial situation (I have 27k on credit cards that I am trying to pay off) and see how we can make it work for us both.

    He doesn't want me to support him, and I can't afford to, so I am sure that we will come to a mutual agreement, especially when we have everything laid out in front of us in black and white.

    Thank you all very much for all your ideas, they have given me lots of different ways to think about things, and different ways to approach getting the final amount sorted.

    For me, I will want to be clear about how long it will take to save the deposit - so I can also enjoy the empty nest - especially when the daughter goes to university in 18 months! Although I think that could be wishful thinking now!!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 29th Jan 17, 10:40 AM
    • 16,698 Posts
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    Pollycat
    Lots of opinions on this thread:

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5586899
    • meer53
    • By meer53 29th Jan 17, 11:33 AM
    • 8,602 Posts
    • 12,354 Thanks
    meer53
    Thank you for all your comments everyone. Varied views from all over.

    He is definitely one that would stick 2 shirts in the wash and then the tumble drier just because he wanted them quick! I will do the washing!!

    My household bills come to £1100. each month (that is obviously minus my own stuff like mobile phone, critical illness cover, car tax/insurance etc) and then there is grocery shopping on top of that.

    I have to confess, I wasn't expecting my almost empty nest to start filling up again!

    I spoke to him tonight actually and we broached the subject, and decided he will come round one night and we will go through all his money, see what his own objectives are, see how that fits into my own financial situation (I have 27k on credit cards that I am trying to pay off) and see how we can make it work for us both.

    He doesn't want me to support him, and I can't afford to, so I am sure that we will come to a mutual agreement, especially when we have everything laid out in front of us in black and white.

    Thank you all very much for all your ideas, they have given me lots of different ways to think about things, and different ways to approach getting the final amount sorted.

    For me, I will want to be clear about how long it will take to save the deposit - so I can also enjoy the empty nest - especially when the daughter goes to university in 18 months! Although I think that could be wishful thinking now!!
    Originally posted by spangieuk
    Your post is my life OP ! My son is 30 next month he's lived on his own since leaving Uni, he has a full time job, i live with my 16 year old daughter in a 3 bed semi. I work full time too. My son moved back in with me in Oct as the lease was up on his flat and he decided he needs to be a grown up and buy somewhere of his own.

    My daughter isn't impressed, they negotiate over who empties the dishwasher, son usually wins as daughter gets to use sons Netflix account. I do the washing and ironing, i like ironing, he does very little to be honest but would if i asked him. My daughter is really good, she will do her own washing. He can cook but prefers my cooking (of course)

    Money wise, he wanted Sky Sports so pays for that and he also pays £40 extra to cover the increase in council tax. He also pays £200 per month towards food/bills etc which i think is fair. The only bill that goes up really is my water bill as he spends hours in the shower every morning. I love having him back at home, my daughter moans sometimes but she loves him to bits really. Next week will be crunch time, i'm going away for a week and leaving them at home !
    • Sambella
    • By Sambella 29th Jan 17, 12:32 PM
    • 252 Posts
    • 246 Thanks
    Sambella
    Forty quid is a pittance if it includes all food.
    Originally posted by Jackieboy

    I have no mortgage. Water rates are included in the rates i NI. My rates bill would be the same if he moved out. The only real extra cost for having him here is electric and food. Heating - we are both out all day. Heating is never on in the mornings and only for 4 hrs in the evenings 6-10 pm and weekends. This is unlikely to change if he moved out.

    I take the view that if he pays more then I will miss it when he leaves.

    I put my sons board into my Nationwide Regular saver every month.

    I am far from wealthy and I am happy with this arrangement. My son earns less than me.

    I don't have a car, he does. He ferries me about when I ask at no cost to myself. He does odd jobs for me and takes stuff to the dump. We also take turns paying when we decide to have a takeaway. We both buy our own lunches for work. My shopping bill isn't that high but if he moves out I would still save a little on that so I lose £160 and gain a little back from shopping and I carry on without feeling the loss of his board. I would like to be in the position where I gain from him moving out and not make a loss.

    If I had a mortgage and he paid half or a share of it don't I have to pay the other half when he has gone? If I charge him a share of the rates don't I have to make that up when he has gone considering that him leaving doesn't change these costs?

    I appreciate that this doesn't work for everyone but it works for us.
    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 29th Jan 17, 5:03 PM
    • 14,854 Posts
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    pinkshoes
    Why not look on spareroom.co.uk to see what the going rate is for a single room then charge something a bit more competitive?
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • Anjek
    • By Anjek 26th Feb 17, 6:43 PM
    • 11 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    Anjek
    I think -£300 a month with everything paid for, is OK
    • mai_taylor
    • By mai_taylor 3rd Mar 17, 12:26 PM
    • 172 Posts
    • 345 Thanks
    mai_taylor
    The more you charge him the longer it will take him to save to move so the longer he will be with you. I'd charge him just the increase in bills / food, which shouldn't be much.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 3rd Mar 17, 1:23 PM
    • 16,698 Posts
    • 40,234 Thanks
    Pollycat
    The more you charge him the longer it will take him to save to move so the longer he will be with you. I'd charge him just the increase in bills / food, which shouldn't be much.
    Originally posted by mai_taylor
    That will work if he saves the amount the OP isn't charging him plus extra savings.
    If however, he thinks he's quids in and can enjoy a cushy life at home, he may not save anything and still be there 10 years on.
    • Happier Me
    • By Happier Me 12th Mar 17, 1:47 PM
    • 357 Posts
    • 761 Thanks
    Happier Me
    I think £300 a month is fair particularly if you save £75 of that to give back to him when he moves out. Otherwise just forget the £75 and charge £225. That should cover his food and the increase in bills. If he wants extras like Sky Sports that would be on top.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 13th Mar 17, 1:42 PM
    • 5,407 Posts
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    TBagpuss
    What was the outome of your discussions, OP? I think in your position I would probably have startd by looking at what he was paying for the houseshare, and then discount from there, to allow him to save.
    • Cristy Jones
    • By Cristy Jones 21st Mar 17, 11:42 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    Cristy Jones
    The best way perhaps is charging him like what you would charge if the place will be rented out by another person. I think it is just fair. But for some consideration, you may opt to give him some discount.
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