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  • FIRST POST
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 15th Jan 17, 1:26 PM
    • 352Posts
    • 1,351Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Boxofpaws is keeping it simple
    • #1
    • 15th Jan 17, 1:26 PM
    Boxofpaws is keeping it simple 15th Jan 17 at 1:26 PM
    Hello lovely MSE-ers!,


    I have been a user of this site for many years but created a new username on 3rd Jan because I had doubled the debt and I was so embarrassed!


    So here I am, £40k+ in debt. The reasons (excuses) are many and varied, so I won't dwell on the past. However, our current situation is good, good income, happy marriage, nice home and we can really make good in-roads to this accumulated debt.


    In the past, we have failed at debt busting, and I think it was down to the plan being too punishing and too complicated. This time, I will set us achievable targets and make it easy to hit them.


    Thanks to anyone who has read so far, I will report back later with my plan.


    Boxofpaws x
Page 13
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 9th Mar 17, 5:33 AM
    • 4,347 Posts
    • 13,095 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Good things
    • Work is definitely improving daily. I have new boss and she is really really good, I am feeling really supported.
    • I am going to go on a business trip to Vienna in May. Excited about that.
    • I have seen the bonus I am getting and it is MUCH better than expected. Probably going to take home £1300 (was expected about £800).
    • Forgot to report back earlier but the Iceland chateaubriand was fantastic.
    • Had a firm favourite 'eat well for less meal tonight' (sea bass papillote) with Iceland seabass and it was fab. I might be an Iceland convert.
    • Sent final meter readings to Scottish Power so the switch is all going through.
    • Had a convo with one of the managers who seems to be under the impression that the part of the department my husband works in might not be affected by the hours cut. We will see.

    Bad things
    • Boiled my eggs but forgot to take them to work so spent 65p in the work canteen on soup
    • Have had a bit of a strop at the husband. He said to me last night 'Tall friend wants to go to the pub quiz on Sunday'. Me - 'we cant afford it'. Him 'I know'. Me 'You'll tell him no then'. Him 'I accidentally just sent him a thumbs up sign'. Me, some incoherent ranting and then silence, for 24 hours. He did tell me when he got into bed last night that he has cancelled.


    I am frankly sick of being made to feel like the fun-sponge. We cannot say yes to everybody, every time they ask! We cant afford it, so why is it always me that has to say no?


    He is making me all angry
    Originally posted by boxofpaws
    Yay to the good things!

    I sympathise about the hubby and the pub, glad he sorted it.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £8000.00 Overdraft: £2750.00


    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 9th Mar 17, 10:10 AM
    • 7,107 Posts
    • 37,815 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    Is it just taking OH a bit longer to get fully into the swing of things? It sounds to me as though his head's on board but his fingers haven't quite followed suit yet.

    Something I found really helped when we first started on the MSE thing was to stop myself saying "we can't afford..." X, Y or Z, and instead say something along the lines of "That would be great, I'd really like to - how can we finance it then?" That way I felt as though I was making clear that I wanted to be able to do stuff, but not at the cost of "wasting" money, and MrEH felt less as though we were being forced onto the breadline! Sometimes we talked things through to agree cuts that would enable us to do the "thing" and sometimes we didn't - but either way it didn't make us feel "poor" if that makes sense. It was also where having our own little pot of spending money each helped - within that area of the budget we had a personal choice over what we did rather than always having to consult the other one.

    Fingers crossed on the hours thing - and Vienna sounds AMAZING!

    You've reminded me how ace Iceland are for fish - I need to get to one at some stage.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£276.01
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 9th Mar 17, 7:13 PM
    • 1,153 Posts
    • 14,808 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    Is it just taking OH a bit longer to get fully into the swing of things? It sounds to me as though his head's on board but his fingers haven't quite followed suit yet.

    Something I found really helped when we first started on the MSE thing was to stop myself saying "we can't afford..." X, Y or Z, and instead say something along the lines of "That would be great, I'd really like to - how can we finance it then?" That way I felt as though I was making clear that I wanted to be able to do stuff, but not at the cost of "wasting" money, and MrEH felt less as though we were being forced onto the breadline! Sometimes we talked things through to agree cuts that would enable us to do the "thing" and sometimes we didn't - but either way it didn't make us feel "poor" if that makes sense. It was also where having our own little pot of spending money each helped - within that area of the budget we had a personal choice over what we did rather than always having to consult the other one.

    Fingers crossed on the hours thing - and Vienna sounds AMAZING!

    You've reminded me how ace Iceland are for fish - I need to get to one at some stage.
    Originally posted by EssexHebridean
    Sound advice from EH!

    You could have a calm chat with OH and suggest you might still go if you stick to no more than two alco drinks between you (we always have a driver who drinks water and the other drinks slowly) that way you don't miss the fun but the cost is lower. There is no shame in saying you are on an economy drive so you don't want to do a kitty or rounds and good friends get this.
    MFiT T4 #2 update 12.11% after Q4
    Save £12k in 2017 #64 - £2,369.83/£11,000 (21.54%) after Mar (Save £12k in 2016 thread #92 £10,488.04/£10,000)
    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 32.68/33.33% including stores after April
    Reading and learning about investing...
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 9th Mar 17, 7:58 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 1,351 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    I'd be annoyed to. No one wants to play bad cop. Unfair to be made to or see both of you derail the progress.
    Originally posted by Bobarella
    He's a right baddie

    Yay to the good things!

    I sympathise about the hubby and the pub, glad he sorted it.
    Originally posted by Purplemumof2
    Thank you
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £36933
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 9th Mar 17, 8:05 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 1,351 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Is it just taking OH a bit longer to get fully into the swing of things? It sounds to me as though his head's on board but his fingers haven't quite followed suit yet.

    Something I found really helped when we first started on the MSE thing was to stop myself saying "we can't afford..." X, Y or Z, and instead say something along the lines of "That would be great, I'd really like to - how can we finance it then?" That way I felt as though I was making clear that I wanted to be able to do stuff, but not at the cost of "wasting" money, and MrEH felt less as though we were being forced onto the breadline! Sometimes we talked things through to agree cuts that would enable us to do the "thing" and sometimes we didn't - but either way it didn't make us feel "poor" if that makes sense. It was also where having our own little pot of spending money each helped - within that area of the budget we had a personal choice over what we did rather than always having to consult the other one.

    Fingers crossed on the hours thing - and Vienna sounds AMAZING!

    You've reminded me how ace Iceland are for fish - I need to get to one at some stage.
    Originally posted by EssexHebridean
    I'm going to try that. Ask which if many treats he will sacrifice? (He has some expensive hobbies) He started wittering on to me about a weekend away we're meant to be going on and I literally ran out of the house. I'm not sure actually running away is necessarily the right way to deal with this but it worked tonight.

    Sound advice from EH!

    You could have a calm chat with OH and suggest you might still go if you stick to no more than two alco drinks between you (we always have a driver who drinks water and the other drinks slowly) that way you don't miss the fun but the cost is lower. There is no shame in saying you are on an economy drive so you don't want to do a kitty or rounds and good friends get this.
    Originally posted by Suffolk lass
    It's not that expensive to go to the pub anyway but the point is we went for dinner last weekend, and there needs to be some sacrifices somewhere. But I will suggest that next time we do go. Thank you
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £36933
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 9th Mar 17, 8:17 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 1,351 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Good things
    • Going to do an extra day at the other office tomorrow - £20 expenses profit
    • Remembered all of my pack-up today.
    • some frugal cooking. Burnt some lentils. Opened some chickpeas instead. Decided I really wanted lentils. Started to cook more lentils. Decided to eat burnt lentils. Made massive chilli for tomorrow with all the other bits of food I had opened/started cooking/let slightly rot in the fridge.
    • All bedding is clean ahead of the weekend, just one dark load and ALL the washing and ironing is done.
    • The husband has mowed the lawns, first cut of the season and they look pretty good
    • best of all, I want for a post-work run. First time in months a)it's been early enough when I get home b) it was light enough and c) I actually felt like it. Not my quickest time (but that was partly down to having to stop and stroke a cat(, but I feel much better.

    Bad things
    • Just sat down to watch shop well for less and IT'S NOT ON. How has this happen?
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £36933
    • Treadingonplaymobil
    • By Treadingonplaymobil 9th Mar 17, 8:31 PM
    • 487 Posts
    • 3,379 Thanks
    Treadingonplaymobil
    Bad things
    • Boiled my eggs but forgot to take them to work so spent 65p in the work canteen on soup
    • Have had a bit of a strop at the husband. He said to me last night 'Tall friend wants to go to the pub quiz on Sunday'. Me - 'we cant afford it'. Him 'I know'. Me 'You'll tell him no then'. Him 'I accidentally just sent him a thumbs up sign'. Me, some incoherent ranting and then silence, for 24 hours. He did tell me when he got into bed last night that he has cancelled.

    I am frankly sick of being made to feel like the fun-sponge. We cannot say yes to everybody, every time they ask! We cant afford it, so why is it always me that has to say no?


    He is making me all angry
    Originally posted by boxofpaws
    This was me for the first couple of weeks after LBM, but I'm pleased to say that Mr ToP has got to grips with the whole thing a bit more, and is starting to use his own initiative and realise that we need to either (a) make other cuts to do certain things or (b) just not do them. I got really frustrated a couple of times, but to be honest I'm surprised at how quickly he's got it! Hopefully Mr Boxofpaws will get to grips with the concept very soon.
    £67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed... The debt free diary of one family and their enormous debt
    LBM debt on 12th February 2017/DFD: £67,031.92/1st December 2026
    debt on 6/3/17/DFD: £65,115.30/1st August 2026
    • motivated
    • By motivated 9th Mar 17, 8:50 PM
    • 958 Posts
    • 1,145 Thanks
    motivated
    This was me for the first couple of weeks after LBM, but I'm pleased to say that Mr ToP has got to grips with the whole thing a bit more, and is starting to use his own initiative and realise that we need to either (a) make other cuts to do certain things or (b) just not do them. I got really frustrated a couple of times, but to be honest I'm surprised at how quickly he's got it! Hopefully Mr Boxofpaws will get to grips with the concept very soon.
    Originally posted by Treadingonplaymobil
    Could you send my DH a few tips. He is getting better but still wastes a bit of money now and again. I have to nag
    remind him again
    I have arrived in DMP Land and I like it. I may stay a while
    April 2017 £82,590 - £81,055.88 - DFD July 2024 April 2024
    • Macey1510
    • By Macey1510 9th Mar 17, 11:06 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    Macey1510
    I was looking forward to watching shop well for less on catch up tonight
    Glad you had lots of good things today!
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 9th Mar 17, 11:09 PM
    • 10,351 Posts
    • 66,350 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Glad the new ironing board is earning it's keep
    "You're not rich until you have something money can't buy."

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £53.06 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1530.12 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 13th Mar 17, 1:03 PM
    • 7,107 Posts
    • 37,815 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    No Shop Well...? Bah - I hope they have a good excuse for that! Loving all those "Good things" and stroking a cat is a very good reason for a slower than you'd like run time!
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£276.01
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 13th Mar 17, 9:03 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 1,351 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    This was me for the first couple of weeks after LBM, but I'm pleased to say that Mr ToP has got to grips with the whole thing a bit more, and is starting to use his own initiative and realise that we need to either (a) make other cuts to do certain things or (b) just not do them. I got really frustrated a couple of times, but to be honest I'm surprised at how quickly he's got it! Hopefully Mr Boxofpaws will get to grips with the concept very soon.
    Originally posted by Treadingonplaymobil
    If he wants to carry on being Mr Boxofpaws, he'd better

    Could you send my DH a few tips. He is getting better but still wastes a bit of money now and again. I have to nag
    remind him again
    Originally posted by motivated
    Nag? Me? Never!: ()

    I was looking forward to watching shop well for less on catch up tonight
    Glad you had lots of good things today!
    Originally posted by Macey1510
    Glad it's not just me that was sad about it
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £36933
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 13th Mar 17, 9:06 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 1,351 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Glad the new ironing board is earning it's keep
    Originally posted by Bobarella
    It was a bumpy start, but we seem to have ironed out our differences now

    Sorry

    Really sorry



    No Shop Well...? Bah - I hope they have a good excuse for that! Loving all those "Good things" and stroking a cat is a very good reason for a slower than you'd like run time!
    Originally posted by EssexHebridean
    Cats
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £36933
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 13th Mar 17, 9:23 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 1,351 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Good things
    • Have run the fridge completely bare for tomorrow nights shop
    • Have resisted going out this weekend. I needed to do that in some kind of proving-it-to-myself kind of way
    • Family party was fun and inexpensive
    • Big car passed its mot. It's been showered with praise by both of us
    • Did loads of work outside in the gardens. Both gardens are looking delicious. I like referring the the front and back gardens as 'the gardens', it makes them sound much grander than they are.
    • Have booked my 2 works hotel stays this week on my own bank card because the hotel chain is doing cash back. Should be a free £10.
    • Bonus confirmed. V happy with what it will be.
    • The husband has said he will get all his motorbike maintenance and repairs done out of his bonus.
    • Had more assurances from a different boss today that the husband's hours probably won't be affected by the cuts.

    Bad things
    • Have bought new shoes for my posh do this week. On the bright side, they were £23 from New Look. I normally would pay twice that for shoes.
    • Have given in and ordered a new cat flap. £60. Could no longer cope with the big cat hurling himself onto me through the window in the early hours.
    • Have ordered candle wax to make candles after being inspired by treading. It's not a bad thing by itself, but seeing as I haven't ordered anything else (like wicks etc), it can't just be a dear dead end. And I didn't really have an expensive candle habit to kick, I just fancied the idea.
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £36933
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 13th Mar 17, 9:56 PM
    • 4,347 Posts
    • 13,095 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Sounds good Paws.

    You could've put a cat flap in the window? Lol I still have the image of him launching himself on you.

    Great bargain on the shoes.

    Good luck on the candle making too, very brave xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £8000.00 Overdraft: £2750.00


    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 13th Mar 17, 10:34 PM
    • 10,351 Posts
    • 66,350 Thanks
    Bobarella
    That's very good news on your husband's job. Must be a weight off.
    "You're not rich until you have something money can't buy."

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £53.06 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1530.12 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Treadingonplaymobil
    • By Treadingonplaymobil 14th Mar 17, 5:01 AM
    • 487 Posts
    • 3,379 Thanks
    Treadingonplaymobil
    I really rate New Look for shoes - I tend to buy my party shoes there as they get so little use it seems mad to buy expensive ones.

    Sorry for being a bad candle influence . If it helps, I have one burning now and it's lovely!
    £67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed... The debt free diary of one family and their enormous debt
    LBM debt on 12th February 2017/DFD: £67,031.92/1st December 2026
    debt on 6/3/17/DFD: £65,115.30/1st August 2026
    • kittykatneedscash
    • By kittykatneedscash 14th Mar 17, 11:07 AM
    • 44 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    kittykatneedscash
    Good luck Boxofpaws you sound to be doing great I've subscribed and love the way you post good things and bad things. This made me chuckle though...

    'Have given in and ordered a new cat flap. £60. Could no longer cope with the big cat hurling himself onto me through the window in the early hours.'

    I originally read it as bought a flat cap and thought £60 is quite a lot for a flat cap unless you really love the farmer look
    • EssexHebridean
    • By EssexHebridean 14th Mar 17, 12:12 PM
    • 7,107 Posts
    • 37,815 Thanks
    EssexHebridean
    I think those shoes should be celebrated under Good Things - it's a measure of how on board you are with all this!

    And the cat flap was a bit of an essential really, wasn't it!

    at "The Gardens" - you need to capitalise it as well, I reckon.
    MORTGAGE FREE 30/09/2016
    Sainsbugs 0% card: 22/12/16 £1229.00/£276.01
    • VelvetFreak
    • By VelvetFreak 14th Mar 17, 12:20 PM
    • 87 Posts
    • 206 Thanks
    VelvetFreak
    The visuals of the big old cat bowling through the window crack me up every time.
    Family Loan $3851/$8000 = -$4149
    Emergency Fund $1475/$10,000
    Mini Cash Savings = $10/$100
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