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    • toffee'n'tom
    • By toffee'n'tom 14th Jan 17, 11:30 AM
    • 405Posts
    • 301Thanks
    toffee'n'tom
    What puts you off?
    • #1
    • 14th Jan 17, 11:30 AM
    What puts you off? 14th Jan 17 at 11:30 AM
    What has put you off dating a boyfriend or girlfriend to the extent you finished the relationship?
Page 5
    • frankiebeany
    • By frankiebeany 18th Jan 17, 12:36 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    frankiebeany
    Not being honest
    My last relationship collapsed due to him allowing me to think that we were going to have a family together. Got to 10 weeks before the wedding and it got postponed as "we were acting more like housemates" 4 weeks later he says its the kids thing. If he had just said sooner it might have worked out better.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 19th Jan 17, 1:06 AM
    • 16,975 Posts
    • 44,594 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    That's true but as not everybody is looking for a shag monster, it might be counterproductive.

    I suppose you could say the same thing about weight though. By claiming to be slimmer than you are, you risk putting off the genuine chubby chasers.
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    I admit to not having any full length pics on my dating site. Mainly as i did not want to attract chubby chasers I once had a guy ask me if i;d like to eat in front of him whilst he...well yeah. He got blocked swiftly. There was another who asked me if i'd dress up in latex for him. That was another no
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • beautiful_ravens
    • By beautiful_ravens 20th Jan 17, 9:01 PM
    • 705 Posts
    • 2,756 Thanks
    beautiful_ravens
    Men who eat disgustingly, and sometimes even uncouth ways of holding a fork, anything that resembles shovelling, food caught in beards, slurping noises, dribbling, speaking with food in mouth etc.

    Cruelty or meanness of any type to animals - years ago I was going out with a nice enough guy, went to his house for a while and he had a lovely german shepherd dog, which he punched in the nose. I was quite young - looking back I wish Id said or done something as I would now, but I was a it scared. I didnt go out with him again.

    Then theres another ex, who I caught addressing my dogs with the c word one day when he didn't know I was round the corner and could hear him. I was so offended, and confronted him, and he bizarrely said it was a term of endearment.

    Men who have trust issues, keep secrets and let you know theyre keeping secrets, are brick walls, dont really listen, never apologise, put you between themselves and their own mother like a barrier, put you down, disagree with everything you say, furtively watch their ex when wearing mirror sunglasses...I should stop now.
    • Brightonsbest
    • By Brightonsbest 20th Jan 17, 9:35 PM
    • 234 Posts
    • 146 Thanks
    Brightonsbest
    When I was younger, from my first date at the age of 12, I would make sure that the GF was clean, tidy, nice dress sense, not loud, cheap, cheap accent, no smoke/drink, live in a coucil home, had working parents that were not sperated, nice family, educated to nice standard, not taller than me, no tattoos and a homes girly who's eyes did no wonder
    • Judi
    • By Judi 20th Jan 17, 9:37 PM
    • 14,927 Posts
    • 60,420 Thanks
    Judi
    When I was younger, from my first date at the age of 12, I would make sure that the GF was clean, tidy, nice dress sense, not loud, cheap, cheap accent, no smoke/drink, live in a coucil home, had working parents that were not sperated, nice family, educated to nice standard, not taller than me, no tattoos and a homes girly who's eyes did no wonder
    Originally posted by Brightonsbest
    I take it you didnt have many girlfriends then.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • mgdavid
    • By mgdavid 21st Jan 17, 1:45 AM
    • 5,184 Posts
    • 4,349 Thanks
    mgdavid
    I take it you didnt have many girlfriends then.
    Originally posted by Judi
    A tad uncalled for!
    Hard to criticise a policy of quality over quantity.
    A salary slave no more.....
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 21st Jan 17, 11:43 AM
    • 4,450 Posts
    • 7,020 Thanks
    Gavin83
    Then theres another ex, who I caught addressing my dogs with the c word one day when he didn't know I was round the corner and could hear him. I was so offended, and confronted him, and he bizarrely said it was a term of endearment.
    Originally posted by beautiful_ravens
    It could be to be honest, it's almost said as a confirmation they've reached a certain level of friendship. I know people who call their friends this but wouldn't dream of saying it to someone they didn't know. Depends how it was said though and saying it to a dog is a little strange.

    I take it you didnt have many girlfriends then.
    Originally posted by Judi
    His post is no more ridiculous than some of the others on here. As I said previously though, dating is the one area you can be as prejudice as you want, for now at least.
    • Brightonsbest
    • By Brightonsbest 21st Jan 17, 11:50 AM
    • 234 Posts
    • 146 Thanks
    Brightonsbest
    A tad uncalled for!
    Hard to criticise a policy of quality over quantity.
    Originally posted by mgdavid
    Many thanks. A bit like people with lots of so-called friends, then when push to comes to shove, no real friends.

    I've only had three proper GF's - first, met at 12, stayed togehter until she was 16 and me 14 and the family move away to Newzealand, then my ex wife I met when I was 16, got married at 21, then caughter her out cheat and then remarried the current wive.

    Many thanks again
    • janb5
    • By janb5 21st Jan 17, 11:53 PM
    • 1,775 Posts
    • 6,341 Thanks
    janb5
    Many thanks. A bit like people with lots of so-called friends, then when push to comes to shove, no real friends.

    I've only had three proper GF's - first, met at 12, stayed togehter until she was 16 and me 14 and the family move away to Newzealand, then my ex wife I met when I was 16, got married at 21, then caughter her out cheat and then remarried the current wive.

    Many thanks again
    Originally posted by Brightonsbest
    Why is spelling such a no- no in your posts?
    • svain
    • By svain 24th Jan 17, 9:27 PM
    • 126 Posts
    • 275 Thanks
    svain
    Why is spelling such a no- no in your posts?
    Originally posted by janb5
    I dont think English is his first language (i might be wrong)
    • jamiehelsinki
    • By jamiehelsinki 26th Jan 17, 10:29 AM
    • 87 Posts
    • 113 Thanks
    jamiehelsinki
    I dont think English is his first language (i might be wrong)
    Originally posted by svain
    You also have the problem of auto correct text which changes what you write.

    If your using a full size computer screen and have plenty of time to read what you write it's easy to correct but if your posting on a smart phone and short of time, it's difficult.

    I just corrected what I wrote above because my phone had completely changed it.
    • Dird
    • By Dird 27th Jan 17, 9:27 AM
    • 2,596 Posts
    • 1,539 Thanks
    Dird
    As a low libido is a red flag for you, how do you find this out in someone at the beginning?
    Originally posted by AubreyMac
    By trying to shaft repeatedly in quick succession. If your first time is Friday night & he/she isn't in the mood to do it again on Saturday even when everything is "new/exciting" then time to end it

    Do the online dating services include libido level in the profiles?
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    OKCupid does. There's a question "once in a relationship how often do you want to have sex?"....avoid the prudes saying once or twice per month/year
    Mortgage (Nov 15): £79,950 | Cashback sites: £835 | Current accounts: 16
    Mortgage (Aug 17): £74,490 | £30k in 2016: £30,300 (101%) | £25k in 2017: £12,674 (50.7%)
    • lobbyludd
    • By lobbyludd 27th Jan 17, 9:33 PM
    • 1,239 Posts
    • 10,638 Thanks
    lobbyludd
    as the posts attest, this is such a personal thing
    but I have ended relationships because of:
    being treated poorly: so aggression, lying, paranoia etc due to alcoholism which they refused to acknowledge/treat, expecting me to be monogamous whilst they were not
    different world views: e.g racism/homophobia, very opposing political views (I have friends with lots of differing political viewpoints, but in a partner it can really impact day-to-day decisions and lead to conflict which can become very difficult)
    boredom: e.g. pettiness: constantly going on about other people's spelling and grammar, wanting to be together all the time, not being able to connect intellectually, loss of physical attraction (this for me generally results from the boredom - it's not due to physical changes).

    some of these relationships have been long term - others have been shorter term.
    A/give up smoking (done)
    • Cotta
    • By Cotta 9th Mar 17, 12:27 PM
    • 2,392 Posts
    • 962 Thanks
    Cotta
    Most of the above - but I was really put off one bloke cos he had little girlie hands. I'd hold his hand and cringe. I am VERY good at looking for things to end relationships. I get so fed up of people. Thankfully don't feel that with my BF now!

    Jx
    Originally posted by hazyjo
    Never thought of hands even being an issue - every day's a school day.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 9th Mar 17, 4:16 PM
    • 448 Posts
    • 646 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Lack of communication.

    I can understand people have differing view points and different ways of doing things, but unless there is communication, I won't know how the other person feels so it would cause a disconnect.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 9th Mar 17, 7:24 PM
    • 13,162 Posts
    • 36,010 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    Selfishness, meanness, unfaithfulness, poor grasp of hygiene, generally a "narrow"/boring sort of person, different background (in both directions - downwards and upwards from my middle class background).

    There's been a variety of reasons.
    ploughing my own furrow...

    They have lessons in schools these days on resisting peer pressure
    • Huwbert
    • By Huwbert 9th Mar 17, 7:29 PM
    • 78 Posts
    • 52 Thanks
    Huwbert
    Smoking, jealousy, just being very different people, distance
    • Kazzabell80
    • By Kazzabell80 11th Mar 17, 10:44 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 560 Thanks
    Kazzabell80
    Ahem!... Liars, cheats, poor communication skills (grammar etc), no ambition, being too needy, an incompatible libido, smokers, drug users - even if it is only to relax..., doesn't like animals, whingers, arrogance, too short, overweight, doesn't take care of themselves, thoughtlessness, trust issues, stubbornness


    I'm sure there's loads more!
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 11th Mar 17, 11:01 PM
    • 12,531 Posts
    • 16,722 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    Ahem!... Liars, cheats, poor communication skills (grammar etc), no ambition, being too needy, an incompatible libido, smokers, drug users - even if it is only to relax..., doesn't like animals, whingers, arrogance, too short, overweight, doesn't take care of themselves, thoughtlessness, trust issues, stubbornness


    I'm sure there's loads more!
    Originally posted by Kazzabell80
    Are you single?
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • Kazzabell80
    • By Kazzabell80 12th Mar 17, 9:21 AM
    • 82 Posts
    • 560 Thanks
    Kazzabell80
    Are you single?
    Originally posted by Gloomendoom
    Actually, I'm not. Just won't settle.


    I'd like to point out that a lot of this list are "qualities" that ex partners have had. Which is why I'm determined to stick to the list. Having said that, the odd short fella has made it through due to their shining personality...
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