Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jan 17, 10:55 PM
    • 2,610Posts
    • 19,809Thanks
    sashybo
    Sashybo - Back Again
    • #1
    • 2nd Jan 17, 10:55 PM
    Sashybo - Back Again 2nd Jan 17 at 10:55 PM
    Hi all, has been a good long while this time since I've had a diary, think this is number 4 overall. My last diary can be found HERE.

    Current debt now under 10K. This is mostly made up of loans we had to take out to cover the negative equity of the flat we sold a couple of years ago.

    I must admit we have slipped occasionally and had to do a couple of BT's etc as got into a bit more debt when we bought a new house & wanted shiny new things to go in it.

    Overall, things are headed in the right direction but now we have a new challenge as DH & I are expecting a baby in May.

    I only get 3 months full pay then 3 months half pay on maternity leave in my job & won't be able to go back full time as we both do shift work and there's no way to work childcare around the shifts we do (7 days in a row & many unsociable hours to boot). So we'll have to reduce the spending & batter the debt as will have a smaller income.

    So I've come crawling back - I find having a diary here does help to keep me focused and stop so much silly spending.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
Page 28
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 14th Feb 18, 11:17 PM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi W, good to get others' perspective on the age gaps. There is 20 months between me & my sister & 8 years between me & my brother. I loved having a baby brother when I was 8, my sister was 6 and I don't remember us ever feeling jealous, just excited - so the bigger age gap worked for us that way. On the other hand I feel like I know my sister better as we were always together, whereas I had moved out of the house by the time my brother was 12 so wasn't always around.

    Well I'm sure we'll figure it out but I really want to have at least one more baby even though DS is being a sleep depriving demon at the moment. Poor boy, it's not his fault, he's still teething & waking up fairly regularly during the night. He seems to like to have a party after midnight until about 2am and then sleeps until 7ish, he's so tired all day but refuses to nap properly either.

    Didn't get much done today except some surveys and shredded the paperwork/receipts that have been piling up. I need to do at least two washings tomorrow & do the ironing before it turns into a huge pile again. I'm experimenting over which things really need to be ironed to try & cut down on it.

    I tried on my work uniform tonight & all fits fine so that's one less thing to worry about. I also did 25 mins of yoga & really enjoyed it as it was a bit slower & I'm feeling worn out.

    DH is going to visit his friend in the midlands from tomorrow until Sunday so I'm slightly apprehensive about being totally on my own with DS for 3 days. First time DH has went away since DS arrived so a new situation for us all. I hope DS's sleeping improves as I really hate the disturbed sleep part & it's easier when DH is here (& not working earlies) so we can take turns dealing with him.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • Treadingonplaymobil
    • By Treadingonplaymobil 15th Feb 18, 4:49 AM
    • 1,295 Posts
    • 12,686 Thanks
    Treadingonplaymobil
    I think in many ways the 'worst' age gap is the standard 2.5-3yr one - I have 2.5 between DC1 and 2, and 3 between DC2 and 3, naturally. They are old enough to want to do lots of things and to really feel the upheaval of the new DC, but still a long way off from being school age and you having time for the youngest. We tried for a smaller age gap the first time but it wasn't to be, and I still think it would have been easier in some ways. The people I know who have had the easiest time in terms of sibling relationship have either a tiny (13-18 month) gap or a large (4-5) year gap. The bigger age gap has the advantage of the older starting school, but the disadvantage of parents getting older and also being stuck in the baby stage for longer, which was a large part of our reason not for having bigger age gaps - I hated the baby stage and wanted out of it!

    My DC1 more or less ignored DC2 for TWO YEARS after he was born (the child bears a grudge), although never tried to hurt him or anything, but both DC1 and 2 have always been fine with DC3, and these days (9, 6 and 3yo) they all rub along perfectly well and play in various combinations or all together perfectly happily. I think in the long run it comes down to personality more than age gaps.
    £67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed... The debt free diary of one family and their enormous debt
    LBM debt on 12th Feb 2017/DFD: £58,608.13/1st Dec 2026
    debt on 4th Jan 2018: £35,536.09/July 2026

    Mortgage = £193,995
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 16th Feb 18, 12:12 AM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi TOPM, yes I think you're right in that it's a personality thing in the long run, all babies/children are different so it makes sense. I allegedly said when asked if I liked the new baby (my sister) "NO! HATE the new baby" but we mostly got along as I was apparently quite a placid child. Impressive grudge-bearing by DC1 though - two years is real commitment.

    I don't think I could bear getting DS to 5 & then having to go back to dealing with a baby again, although this is unlikely as age issue again. Of course a second child might never happen at all, this is all hypothetical as DH still veering wildly between no way & maybe. I think he would like another but doesn't want to admit it & give me any encouragement. I know he adores DS and I think the strength of the love he has for him has kind of hit him over the head & he's still a bit dazed.

    Managed to get the washings done today & also the ironing, along with the usual small amounts of washing up/tidying. I even threw in a bit of hoovering - highly unusual as this is normally DH's job.

    Also discovered that one of the cats had taken a liking to one of DS's soft silicone bibs & had chewed it and destroyed part of it. So that's another thing that can't be left out, luckily we had 2 so the chewed one is in the bin & the intact one is safely in the cupboard. I suspect naughty small cat as she has previously destroyed 2 silicone pastry brushes by chewing & swallowing the bristles. Can't be too bad for her as she is still alive.

    I managed half an hour of yoga & then a shower after DS went to bed but he then woke up about half 10 and it took over an hour to get him back to sleep again. Fingers crossed he sleeps for the rest of the night, he had not too bad a sleep last night after waking up at a similar time.

    My tomato & chilli seeds aren't showing any signs of life at the moment but my sweet peas have started popping their heads up from the compost. Chillies can take quite a while to germinate but the tomato seeds should be doing something by around 7 days, which is tomorrow. Hoping they will start but if not I have more seeds so can try again. Potatoes still chitting, will need to get them planted in the next couple of weeks.

    DH away to visit his friend until Sunday, he has already FaceTimed DS. DS thoroughly confused & kept trying to grab the tablet but did do some clapping for daddy. DH FaceTimes his parents with DS quite a lot so they can see him but DS is usually more interested in our cats & we have to try & get his attention back towards the tablet.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 16th Feb 18, 7:43 AM
    • 5,705 Posts
    • 11,302 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Interesting chat about gaps between DC. I had 17 months between my 2 DDs and they got along brilliantly as small children, hated each other as teenagers and now get along fine as adults. 2 totally different characters though. My DD has a 2 year old DD and is expecting her 2nd DD early May and will have a 2.5 year gap. Not sure how my DGD will take to the new baby but my DD and son in law said they wanted to get sleepless nights over in relatively short time period as they are only having 2 children. My DGD sleeps well now but was a nightmare for the first year.

    Is your mum available to help sashy while your DH away?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 16th Feb 18, 7:52 AM
    • 5,705 Posts
    • 11,302 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    My DD has also found her 2 cats misbehaved after my granddaughter was born. Chewing cables and chargers etc although they are lovely with my DGD but keep their distance. It comes to something when you not only have to consider sibling relationships but pets too
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 16th Feb 18, 9:03 AM
    • 5,705 Posts
    • 11,302 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Not sure what the situation is with childcare costs in Scotland and if you will need paid child care when you go back to work but my DD did tell me the other day with her MSE head on she had deliberately planned the age gap between her 2 DDs so the elder one got 30 hours free childcare under the new scheme just as the baby will need childcare too. This is so she is only paying for 1 at a time.

    We help with one day and other grandparents do another day but she still needs 3 days care from 9am until 3pm while the girls will be at nursery.

    Something perhaps to bear in mind as having 2 in paid childcare at the same time is expensive .
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 16th Feb 18, 10:54 AM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi enthusiasticsaver

    Yes it's interesting to hear about other people's experiences with age gaps.

    My mum has been working night shifts & then has my nieces & nephew from tonight until Saturday so won't be able to help much. Although I'm picking the kids up from my mum on Saturday late afternoon for a couple of hours so will at least see her.

    My 2 boy cats have been pretty good since DS arrived but naughty small girl cat has been very naughty. I have no idea how they would react to another baby.

    Paid child care probably wouldn't be much use as we're both shift workers so to be honest I've not really looked into it much. As far as I know we won't be entitled to anything until the 15 hours when DS is 3, which as you say is meant to be doubled to 30 but I don't know when that will be happening. It is something to consider though, I need to see how my shifts work out.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 16th Feb 18, 5:55 PM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Have got nothing done today except putting one washing away & hanging a wet one up. Also took DS out in his pram as it was dry & he hasn't been out for a couple of days. We walked about for 30 mins & pushing him back up the hill to get home was hard work.

    The department manager at work (so my boss's boss's boss - does that make sense? ) phoned me today asking me to come in on a mid shift instead of late shift on my first KIT day on Monday. She wants me to go to a meeting with her, HR & a union rep. Assuming it's about my role being done away with in the department re-organisation & my application for a job share but not sure. Fingers crossed it's not bad news though. On the bright side I'll be working until 8pm instead of half 11. Need to make minestrone soup to take to work for late lunch/early dinner.

    Might try & do a bit of baking tonight after putting DS to bed as have bananas to use up. My nieces and nephew are coming here for their dinner tomorrow as my sister is working & my mum is going out tomorrow night so I said I'd pick them up late afternoon from mum so she can get ready. The kids never stop eating so will put on a loaf as well tonight, might need to buy more milk too.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 16th Feb 18, 9:24 PM
    • 1,129 Posts
    • 6,875 Thanks
    redofromstart
    It does sound like something restructure related but the usual rule of thumb is the last person you make redundant is someone who is pg or on ordinary mat leave. Good that you will have support from the union though.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 17th Feb 18, 11:05 AM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi redo, yes we've been told they have a no redundancy policy but who knows what they will try to offer me instead. I'm a bit worried they will turn down the job share application as there is no "business need" & they are trying to cut numbers. As you say, at least there will be a union rep there, although I've only met him once before.

    So DS decided sleeping is for wimps last night & only slept for 2 hours before waking up & refusing to go back to sleep for 3 hours. I ended up falling asleep with him in the chair in his room then managed to get him into his cot again just before 1am. He then woke up again at 3am so I just took him into my bed so we could both actually get more than 2 hours sleep. So tired.

    Needless to say I didn't get any baking done last night. I did put the ingredients for a loaf into the bread maker then completely forgot to switch it on.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 17th Feb 18, 9:57 PM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    DS is currently in bed, just praying he'll sleep through tonight, wouldn't bet on it though. He is exhausted though as refused to have his afternoon nap.

    Picked my nieces & nephew up from my mum's this afternoon which is why DS refused to sleep. He was too interested in watching his big cousins.

    Got the kids to help me make dinner - had two chopping & peeling veg for minestrone soup and the other mixing up the ingredients for 2 lots of banana bread. Had a proper child labour factory line going. We needed 4 eggs for the banana bread as doubling up but only had 3 so just chucked some milk in & they turned out fine.

    My brother then came round with his youngest (18 months) just in time for the soup so fed them too. My loaf of bread from this morning (after I remembered to switch the machine on) disappeared very quickly! One of the loaves of banana bread also got devoured, the kids never stop eating! Glad I made 2 as DH wouldn't have been too happy if he didn't get any.

    Good news is that DS didn't scream when he saw his toddler cousin, he actually smiled at her this time. I think I need to take him to see her more often, he's just having a funny phase where he cries when he sees kids he doesn't see regularly but is ok with adults.

    Took a small gammon joint out of the freezer tonight so will cook it in the slow cooker tomorrow with some ginger ale & then stick it in the oven to crisp up a bit. DH should get home early afternoon depending on traffic.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 18th Feb 18, 10:13 AM
    • 1,129 Posts
    • 6,875 Thanks
    redofromstart
    Hope you (and DS) got a decent run of sleep.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 18th Feb 18, 10:28 AM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks redo, DS woke up at half 9 last night (again) but managed to get him to go back to sleep by patting his back. He then woke up as soon as heard me going to bed at 11. It was 12:45 before he settled down again. He slept until half 7 after that though & then was happy to lie in bed with me for another hour but he didn't go back to sleep. He's so tired though, just hope it's better tonight as I've got my KIT day tomorrow.

    Put another loaf on last night so that was ready this morning as I remembered to press start.

    So far today I've managed a quick hoover in the living room & kitchen - there were bread crumbs all over the floor under the table from the kids last night that I didn't notice until this morning.

    Gammon joint also in the slow cooker with some fresh ginger & ginger ale. Will coat it with ginger preserve & stick it in the oven later for a sticky glaze. DH will be home in a couple of hours so said he'll make Yorkshire puddings. I told him he'll need to buy eggs & milk first though. Might do some roast veg & spicy potatoes, DH will probably make some roasties too.

    Will stick a washing on when DH gets home with all his dirty clothes. Nearly time for DS's morning nap.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 18th Feb 18, 11:10 AM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Ooh some of my tomato seeds have germinated & I have little seedlings popping their heads up.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 18th Feb 18, 6:27 PM
    • 1,893 Posts
    • 9,690 Thanks
    chanie
    Well done with your veg growing, you!!!8217;ve inspired me to get growing again myself. I did really well the year me and OH first moved in together, Since having children, it!!!8217;s been more difficult.
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £197.44
    Live more - £1569.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More - a spending diary
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 19th Feb 18, 9:27 PM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi chanie, I'm glad I've helped inspire you, I love gardening & growing things, find it so therapeutic & it makes me feel close to my late grampa who was a keen gardener. I used to "help" him in the garden from a very early age.

    Just a quick post tonight as I have one of the terrible vomiting bugs that are going around & feel awful. I had to leave work halfway through my KIT day. Meeting went ok, was just to give me my options I.e. which job do I want to do when I return & to confirm that they will advertise for a job share partner. They want an answer next week so have some thinking to do, everything all in an uproar in the office.

    Hoping DS doesn't get the vomiting bug although he was sick everywhere earlier but hasn't been since. I've been sick 3 times since 5pm & feel terrible, thank god DH is back to look after DS. Hope he doesn't catch it.

    Think we caught the bug from my youngest niece as my sister & her kids have all come down with it too and we all saw her on Saturday. She had the bug last week but appeared to be better when my brother brought her round.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 22nd Feb 18, 10:12 PM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Well we all ended up ill, so not much has been going on for the last few days except surviving & lots and lots of washing. Poor DS has pooed over many many vests & sleepsuits. We had a sink full of smelly baby clothes soaking in bio detergent in the utility room for most of a day.

    DS was only throwing up the first day but was sick in his cot whilst lying on his back which was terrifying. Luckily DH was just checking on him as it happened. He slept in with us for the rest of that night. Poor boy has somehow caught a cold & still has the runs, I'm nearly better & DH is about a day behind me recovery wise as he was the last to get ill.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 23rd Feb 18, 9:22 AM
    • 3,303 Posts
    • 14,643 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Hope you all feel better soon Sashy, sounds scary with DS being sick on his back, I bet that made you super cautious and not really able to sleep xx
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x3, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Original Debt: £0/31010.23 (100% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,450.00 (2017/2018 O/P £3077.39) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £2045.24/£4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 23rd Feb 18, 4:05 PM
    • 2,610 Posts
    • 19,809 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi Kirsty,

    Yes DH got a real fright as he found him & we were too scared/paranoid to put him back in the cot so he came into our bed & I tried to keep him lying on his side just in case.

    Had a horrendous night with DS waking up nearly half hourly crying, think his tummy was sore as he had 3 dirty nappies overnight. We are all exhausted today & at several points last night I wanted to run away.

    Having another day of doing nothing much, moved some washings along last night - some put away, another 2 on & DH hung them up. Taken & submitted meter readings, need to look into moving to a new deal/supplier as contract ends at the start of April. We owe the company we're currently with around £96 as they were very much under-estimating our usage at the start of the contract & we weren't submitting regular meter readings due to having a newborn baby. I think my car insurance is also up for renewal around the same time, so another thing to look into.

    Paid another £40 of survey money off the zopa loan which will take the monthly payment amount to £203. The last £40 overpayment took it from £208 to £206 p/m so I think I'll aim for £40 overpayment per month minimum (using survey money so might be less) until the monthly payment is sitting nearer £180 & then see where we are.

    Requested another £20 from PA & another £10 @mazon voucher from SB. Have started a list of things we need/will need that we can use the vouchers towards. My car windscreen wipers cost us no "real" money in the end as DH had another voucher & we used both towards them. I'll need nematodes for the garden soil soon so will probably use the next lot of vouchers towards them as they can be pricey.

    Tomato & sweet pea seedlings all look good, will need to move into small pots soon. Still nothing from the chillies so far, fingers crossed. Need to get DH to go & get compost next week so we can sort the potato bags out ready for the seed potatoes.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9807 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £49,180.78
    Loan £3055.47, CC 0% BT £770, Car loans £23,634

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 23rd Feb 18, 4:10 PM
    • 1,120 Posts
    • 9,143 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    Hope you're all feeling better soon Sashy

    x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

145Posts Today

1,570Users online

Martin's Twitter