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  • FIRST POST
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jan 17, 10:55 PM
    • 2,453Posts
    • 18,605Thanks
    sashybo
    Sashybo - Back Again
    • #1
    • 2nd Jan 17, 10:55 PM
    Sashybo - Back Again 2nd Jan 17 at 10:55 PM
    Hi all, has been a good long while this time since I've had a diary, think this is number 4 overall. My last diary can be found HERE.

    Current debt now under 10K. This is mostly made up of loans we had to take out to cover the negative equity of the flat we sold a couple of years ago.

    I must admit we have slipped occasionally and had to do a couple of BT's etc as got into a bit more debt when we bought a new house & wanted shiny new things to go in it.

    Overall, things are headed in the right direction but now we have a new challenge as DH & I are expecting a baby in May.

    I only get 3 months full pay then 3 months half pay on maternity leave in my job & won't be able to go back full time as we both do shift work and there's no way to work childcare around the shifts we do (7 days in a row & many unsociable hours to boot). So we'll have to reduce the spending & batter the debt as will have a smaller income.

    So I've come crawling back - I find having a diary here does help to keep me focused and stop so much silly spending.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
Page 18
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 27th Jun 17, 4:33 PM
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    sashybo
    We have had two decent nights in a row with the baby. We had switched from one brand of colic drops to another a few days ago but thought the new brand was making him worse so stopped giving him the medicine to see how he got on & he's been much better. Still have the moses basket tilted at an angle & are now trying a different brand of bottle to reduce air intake.

    Still can't put him down for long without a lot of crying though & he does seem a bit constipated/has pain when trying to poo. Going back to the chiropractor tomorrow for my back/pelvis (still sore) and for baby to get another check.

    It's DH's first day back at work tomorrow, so feeling a bit sad about that as was nice all being together for the last few weeks. Also feeling slightly panicked as will be on my own with the baby all day for the first time.

    At least we're getting out to the chiropractor but then have to worry about the pram & the car seat and dealing with it all on my own. Used to DH being there to help me. I also haven't driven with the baby in the car yet so that will be super scary for me. Chiropractor is less than 10 mins away in the car so a nice short journey for our first excursion.

    It's going to take me ages to get ready to leave the house tomorrow.

    The more I hear from workmates about the axing of our jobs the worse it sounds & the less I want to know. The job my job is being replaced with is further away, more hours, more responsibilities & we'll actually have a wage drop due to changes to work patterns I.e. less Sunday working, which is paid as overtime & has an extra payment on top. The union are already looking at it & have advised us of questions to ask but it sounds awful tbh.

    I won't be applying for the new job as it's just a way the company have come up with to use us as cheap labour to cover the rubbish parts of another job where the people already doing it get paid 10k more. No thanks.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 27th Jun 17, 5:01 PM
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    sashybo
    In money news, loans 1 & 2 combined are now sitting at just over 6k, with loan 1 at £1165 & loan 2 just under 5k. The sooner I can get these down the better, especially with the job worries I now have.

    Got some quidco money through so paid it off loan no1. Should hopefully be able to make extra payments to both loans with our next pay as well. Just ignoring the car loans for the moment, will look at over paying (if we can afford to) after loan 1 has been paid off.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 29th Jun 17, 9:53 PM
    • 10,476 Posts
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    Bobarella
    Hi Sashy

    You sound like you are doing incredibly well. A total natural!

    I'm really impressed with how you are getting on with everything even with colic in the mix.

    Glad the PILs aren't there anymore. Less is more eh

    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 30th Jun 17, 12:14 PM
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    sashybo
    Hi Bob, thanks. I think it helps that my DH & family are very supportive. I've had a few down days & those panicky moments where I think I can't do it and it's all so overwhelming but a cuddle from DH & with the baby generally sorts me out.

    It's nice that the PIL are so smitten but it was such hard work having them visiting & they weren't even staying with us. Dreading the next visit when they'll expect to stay with us. I'll have to put my foot down over the baby hogging & taking over that MIL will no doubt be doing.

    It's much easier with my own mum, if she's annoying me I can just tell her. To be honest she's been fine though, probably because she already has several grandchildren & knows how to be diplomatic with mums, especially first timers like me. MIL is just blind to everything but her own feelings when it comes to the baby.

    Our first outing on our own to the chiropractor went well. I managed to get the baby in and out of the car seat OK, got him in & out of the car and attached the car seat to the pram frame as well. Why do they make prams & car seats so confusing though?

    Also everywhere you go with a baby everyone wants to talk to you & look at the baby. Found it a bit strange in the beginning but getting used to it now.

    Dropped in to see my mum after my appointment as she lives nearby. My back is still pretty sore, so still need weekly visits which is costing a small fortune. My chiropractor is giving me a reduced rate for 2 visits though which will save £32.

    We also went out in the car again yesterday as my sister needed to be picked up from hospital after a small procedure and couldn't drive herself after anesthetic. I had to wrestle with the pram rain cover this time but was good practice. Had to abandon the car on double yellows in the hospital grounds as parking was a nightmare - never any spaces.

    Payday today so have paid extra off loans 1 & 2.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 1st Jul 17, 12:01 AM
    • 10,476 Posts
    • 69,667 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hope your back gets better soon.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jul 17, 7:39 AM
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    • 18,605 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks Bob, my pelvis has really been knocked out with the pregnancy & birth and it's so painful sitting down & leaning back but slowly getting better.

    Can't wait to start doing some yoga again although not sure when I'll fit it in as baby still wants to be held all the time. Trying to get him used to going in his bouncy chair for short bursts while I do a bit of housework or even so I can eat but don't get much more than 15 mins if I'm lucky. Am now on this diet called "the baby won't let me put him down so I can eat" diet. There's a limit to what you can do with one hand.

    Yesterday I took DS for a walk in his pram round the estate for 20 mins. He dozed off & the fresh air was good for us both.

    When we got back I got a bit of gardening done whilst DS slept in his pram - tied up the sweet peas at the front to the trellis as they've been battered by the wind and a quick bit of weeding.

    DH has been doing really well looking after the garden on his own but needs help now he's back at work.

    We were late to bed last night (all of us) but DS slept really well. Got up about half an hour ago with him to change & feed him but he's only taken 1oz & fallen asleep again. He's going to be starving when he wakes up.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 3rd Jul 17, 9:33 PM
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    sashybo
    Took the wee one into work yesterday as my shift were on lates. Was nice to see them all & the baby was a big hit and got passed around for cuddles until he got hungry & cried and then he was swiftly passed back to me.

    Was given a card from all of the shifts & also £200 for the baby from them all as well which was lovely of them. Going to open an account for DS as a few people have given us money for him & we'd like to save it for him rather than spend it. We still have some money that we saved to buy things he needs so no need to spend his gift money for the time being.

    Can't remember if I put down here that the PIL gave us a four figure sum for the baby with strict instructions that it's to be saved or invested for him to use when he's older, so we have to decide what to do with that as well. DS has more money than we do right now.

    Have had a lazy-ish couple of days as DH on late shifts now so he doesn't start work until late afternoon. Planning to get out for a walk again with the pram tomorrow as good for both of us.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 7th Jul 17, 12:51 PM
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    sashybo
    The baby slept really well last night (nearly 7 hours!!) I think he's having a growth spurt. I'm still knackered but everything is easier with a bit more sleep.

    My sister has offered to take DS for a couple of hours tomorrow so may take her up on that and just relax.

    We had another visit from the health visitor and baby now 12lb. He's got another visit next week & his 6 week assessments then a check with the GP. Poor wee soul gets his first vaccination in 3 weeks as well - I'm dreading it. Couldn't look when the midwife was taking his blood during the heel !!!!! test a few weeks ago.

    DS also now registered at our dentist as we were there the other day for our check ups. Just a scale & polish for both myself & DH and still free for me atm. Want to get DS used to the dentist as early as possible so he's not scared.

    Our fridge-freezer is on the way out - things in the fridge are either warm or frozen solid if too near the back. It's been playing up for a while so we've just ordered a new one before it breaks altogether. Luckily we have some extra money in our pay to cover it.

    That now means we have replaced every appliance the builders gave us with the house (except the oven) and they all only lasted 3 years from brand new! Just hope our replacements last a lot longer than that!
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 9th Jul 17, 5:11 PM
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    sashybo
    Lying on the couch with the baby sleeping on me & my littlest cat on my knee, trying not to doze off.

    My sister took DS for a few hours yesterday & I managed to get quite a lot done around the house. Cleaned the bathrooms, put on a washing & put another washing away and also re-potted a lot of plants in the garden which have been neglected since DS arrived.

    I also went through all of my clothes & put my specific maternity stuff away into a plastic storage bag. I didn't have lots as mostly just bought a size bigger or a looser style that I could still wear afterwards.

    Also put my holiday clothes & jumpers into separate storage bags and they are all now neatly stacked on the shelf in my wardrobe. It was very messy up there so now much better.

    Tidied my drawers as well & got rid of some old stuff, much easier to see what I have. Still need to go through the hanging clothes properly but pleased with what I got done.

    DS slept fairly well last night (4 hours then 2 then 1!) but was up every 2/3 hours the night before. Had a 40 min nap with him on the couch yesterday evening.

    We have had our first home grown courgette. The plants have quite a few flowers so hopefully we'll get more. Have potatoes, runner beans, spring onions, radishes, wasabi rocket & little gem lettuces growing outside and tomatoes, chilies & bell peppers growing in the greenhouse. DH has done really well with it all, we've only grown tomatoes & chillies before.

    Today we took my old clothes to the charity bins and then did a food shop in Ald! and then came home. DH off today as worked late shift last night but will be on earlies from tomorrow.
    Last edited by sashybo; 09-07-2017 at 9:42 PM.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th Jul 17, 7:37 PM
    • 5,318 Posts
    • 26,080 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Sounds like a lovely weekend Sashy x

    Glad DS is doing a bit better, make sure you take the time when you can to catch up on sleep too!
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 13th Jul 17, 10:07 PM
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    sashybo
    Thanks Hidden, I've been trying to sleep when DS sleeps - this made easier by the fact that he wakes up pretty much every time I put him down during the day so I'm trapped holding him if he falls asleep.

    To be honest I'm holding him 90% of the time anyway as he's still doing mad screaming if I put him in his bouncy chair/on his beanbag etc. The only exceptions are his Moses basket at night & his changing mat and play mat as he likes to lie on the floor (but only for 10 mins or so at a time). The only time I get things done is when DH is at home and can hold the baby or when my mum or sister take him out.

    Finding it quite hard going just now as it's frustrating being stuck holding the baby and getting nothing done. I know he's still very new & getting used to everything but just hope he learns to settle a bit more in a seat so I can do something other than hold him. I do love cuddling him but the house looks like a bomb hit it and DH tries his best but he's working & he also just doesn't seem to see mess the same way that I see it!!

    DH keeps telling me not to pick the baby up when cries & just to "ignore him" as though the baby is doing it on purpose to get attention. I can't leave him to cry, he's so small and gets so worked up and genuinely scared sounding. Sometimes I have to put him down i.e. when I'm alone at home and need to make something to eat and that's bad enough as he cries himself into a proper state.

    Speaking of DH I think he's the one with the baby blues atm. He's very grumpy & snappy and keeps complaining about hating being back at work. I think he feels like I'm just on a wee holiday or something & doesn't seem to realise how hard it is looking after the baby on my own every day. The sheer grind of it sometimes & the fact that some days all seem to be the same.

    He is mostly helpful and does take DS for a while most days when he comes home from work but he seems a bit resentful of us both right now. He keeps saying it's nothing to do with me or the baby - he's just overwhelmed. I hope he gets over it soon as it's out of character and I know he loves us but it's upsetting for me because how does he think I'm feeling?! I'm overwhelmed too!

    Oh dear that turned into a bit of a rant, obviously needed to get it off my chest. DH off out tonight with his friend for dinner & drinks. He spent most of the day taking the built in fridge-freezer out as our new one arrives tomorrow & isn't built in. So he did get a lot done & was busy but huffed & puffed when I asked him to put the frozen food into an insulated bag as it was just lying out in the garage. He also went out before the cats were fed or I'd had anything to eat, resulting in 2 hysterical crying fits from DS when I had to put him down to feed the cats & then myself. I told DH not to be late & not to get drunk as we'll have to get up early to get the cats out of the kitchen for the delivery men & we don't know what delivery slot we're going to get either so could be first thing.

    Took DS out to a wee half hour singing/story time group for babies with my friend and her baby the other day. DS really loved it, he was listening to all the other babies and making noises when everyone was singing, I'm sure he was trying to join in. It's a weekly thing so think it will be good for both of us to go.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 14th Jul 17, 11:30 PM
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    sashybo
    Slightly better day today, DS slept fairly well again but has been a bit grumpy - think he's having a growth spurt. Fingers crossed he sleeps well tonight.

    DH less grumpy, mostly because he's off work for a few days & we got our new fridge freezer delivered. It's much bigger than our old one so now looks like we have no food! DH keeps going to look at it because he loves it so much (it has an ice & water dispenser as well as some gadgety bits).

    DH has booked a table at a nice restaurant for us tomorrow night & my sister is watching DS again. Will be good to eat a meal while it's hot & without either of us holding the baby and trying to eat one-handed.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 15th Jul 17, 8:40 AM
    • 5,318 Posts
    • 26,080 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Have a lovely night tonight x
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 19th Jul 17, 8:48 PM
    • 2,453 Posts
    • 18,605 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks Hidden, we had lovely food & a nice time. DH spoiled me on my birthday with a beautiful eternity ring & a few other gifts as well.

    DH has been a lot better as well, seems to have perked up a bit and has been really helpful again with the baby & the housework.

    I took DS to the baby singing/story group again at the start of the week & the wee monkey slept through the whole thing, so I was singing all the songs to a sleeping baby.

    We also had his 6 week check & all well, Dr said he's very healthy and thought he was 8 or 9 weeks as he was so bright & responsive. *proud mum face* When we were in the waiting room DS was smiling at all the ladies a ladies man at 6 weeks old.

    Good news on the debt front as loan no1 is under £1000 and I got some survey money through today so have paid that off as well - total now £945.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 21st Jul 17, 5:37 PM
    • 2,453 Posts
    • 18,605 Thanks
    sashybo
    DH off work from today until Monday, always easier to get things done in the house when both of us are around for the baby.

    DS has been a little star today, he sat in his bouncy chair in the kitchen watching me whilst I put a pesto loaf on in the breadmaker, made leek & potato soup & a spiced tea loaf. I put some music on and he seemed to like me singing along.

    There were a couple of intervals for nappy changing etc, left him lying on the changing mat with his nappy off to get an airing & of course he peed all over the place - TWICE!

    DH told me the other day that MIL wants to come up again in a couple of weeks to see the baby. This time she'll be staying with us. I hope she behaves but doubt it - think the baby snatching/hogging will recommence. Not looking forward to it but we will see if she's calmed down a bit.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 21st Jul 17, 8:05 PM
    • 4,132 Posts
    • 22,412 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Bless little DS - just wants to be with his mum.

    Could you set some ground rules with the in-laws before they come up?
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 15 for November
    NSD - 1/15
    (up to 01/11/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 21st Jul 17, 8:48 PM
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    sashybo
    Hi EE, yes DS just likes to know I'm nearby I think & loves his cuddles. He seems happier now to sit in his chair or lie on his play mat as long as he can see or hear me and this seems to improve as his eyesight improves.

    We can try with MIL but it will no doubt be conveniently forgotten, as was the whole "you can't stay with us 2 weeks after us having a baby" conversation that DH had with her months before DS was born & then she turned round & wanted to stay with us after he arrived because she thought the local B&B's were too expensive! And they're not poor!

    I think I'll just have to be more vocal & forceful with her if she's being over the top. I understand that she lives far away & wants to spend as much time with DS as she can whilst she's here but is it too much to ask that she considers my feelings a bit more rather than stomping all over them?
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • swimminginaseaofdebt
    • By swimminginaseaofdebt 21st Jul 17, 9:00 PM
    • 602 Posts
    • 3,232 Thanks
    swimminginaseaofdebt
    Glad you enjoyed your meal out the other night and that the little one enjoyed his bouncy chair today.

    I bought a new carpet before I had my little one, bad move as he peed all over it and currently it's going through a phase of having food mashed into it

    Could you organise some activities for you and the baby when mother-in-law comes up so you get a chance to 'escape' for a bit and enjoy some stress free time? By activities I just mean like the singing/story group or maybe a meet with a friend. If you plan in advance and casually mention them beforehand hopefully she'll get the hint your wanting some time alone with the baby.
    SPC11 #564
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 21st Jul 17, 10:44 PM
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    • 18,605 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi swimming, re carpet but is yours a highly impractical cream/oatmeal colour?! I've had pee a few times now along with projectile milky vomit. It's looking a little sad already - need to get the carpet cleaner out.

    DS also managed to hit one of the cats with a stream of pee one day as the cat was strolling past. He was disgusted & now runs past the changing mat if he sees DS lying on it.

    Good idea about the activities, we don't have a set date yet but once we do I'll try & sort at least one out. I'll sell it to MIL & DH as a chance for them to have some quality mother-son time. Doubt she'll take the hint to be honest, she'll probably try to send me out without the baby!
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8830 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £45,847.89
    Loan £3962.81, CC 0% BT £448, Car loans £24,303.87
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 22nd Jul 17, 11:45 AM
    • 404 Posts
    • 1,735 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Sashybo congratulations on your 10lb boy! When you described him as a big hungry baby, I did laugh.


    Sounds like you are being trialled at the mo, your in laws sound testing. You are doing splendidly though, I have no doubt.


    Paws
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £31900
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