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  • FIRST POST
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jan 17, 10:55 PM
    • 2,440Posts
    • 18,627Thanks
    sashybo
    Sashybo - Back Again
    • #1
    • 2nd Jan 17, 10:55 PM
    Sashybo - Back Again 2nd Jan 17 at 10:55 PM
    Hi all, has been a good long while this time since I've had a diary, think this is number 4 overall. My last diary can be found HERE.

    Current debt now under 10K. This is mostly made up of loans we had to take out to cover the negative equity of the flat we sold a couple of years ago.

    I must admit we have slipped occasionally and had to do a couple of BT's etc as got into a bit more debt when we bought a new house & wanted shiny new things to go in it.

    Overall, things are headed in the right direction but now we have a new challenge as DH & I are expecting a baby in May.

    I only get 3 months full pay then 3 months half pay on maternity leave in my job & won't be able to go back full time as we both do shift work and there's no way to work childcare around the shifts we do (7 days in a row & many unsociable hours to boot). So we'll have to reduce the spending & batter the debt as will have a smaller income.

    So I've come crawling back - I find having a diary here does help to keep me focused and stop so much silly spending.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
Page 16
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 30th May 17, 8:53 PM
    • 3,044 Posts
    • 13,574 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    That's a good sign - hopefully there will be a new arrival before the induction for you
    £250/3000 OH BC(91.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £250/31010.23 (99.19% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,000.00 (2017 O/P £2221.94) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £17,473.18/14,539.71
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 31st May 17, 7:21 PM
    • 4,089 Posts
    • 22,578 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Ooh Sashy - hope you are in labour by now as you have not posted today yet.........
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 15 for November
    NSD - 1/15
    (up to 01/11/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 31st May 17, 7:38 PM
    • 3,044 Posts
    • 13,574 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Eeeeek! Hope all is going well sashy
    £250/3000 OH BC(91.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £250/31010.23 (99.19% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,000.00 (2017 O/P £2221.94) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £17,473.18/14,539.71
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 3rd Jun 17, 5:26 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hope you are ok Sashy, thinking of you.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 4th Jun 17, 5:24 AM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi all, just a quick visit to let you know that DH & I now have a beautiful baby boy. Things really did not go to plan & I ended up in theatre with a trial by forceps delivery (& all prepped for an emergency c-section as they weren't sure forceps would get him out). So I managed labour for roughly 12 hours on gas & air, about 4 ?? hours with diamorphine after things started slowing down & then ended up with the epidural I didn't want anyway.

    Baby was a whopping 9lb 13.5oz with a full head of hair & born Thursday night using the forceps. He is lovely, very content & loves cuddles. We're still in hospital but should be getting home today. DH & I both smitten so looking forward to getting home with him, not decided on a name yet.

    Think I'm still mentally processing the birth & what lead up to it but the main thing is that we're both ok. The hospital staff were all great & have looked after us all so well, including poor DH who has been randomly crying every day as he's so emotional right now.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
    • Treadingonplaymobil
    • By Treadingonplaymobil 4th Jun 17, 6:21 AM
    • 1,061 Posts
    • 10,169 Thanks
    Treadingonplaymobil
    Wow, congratulations! How exciting, a little MSE baby!

    Take care of yourself, don't try to do too much too quickly - I think the medical profession often looks at a 'natural delivery' and assumes mum should be up and about very quickly, but there's a whole world of difference between an easy natural delivery and one involving instruments and possible birth injuries.
    £67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed... The debt free diary of one family and their enormous debt
    LBM debt on 12th Feb 2017/DFD: £58,608.13/1st Dec 2026
    debt on 2nd Aug 17/DFD: £55,011.96/1st May 2025
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 4th Jun 17, 3:37 PM
    • 3,044 Posts
    • 13,574 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Congratulations Sashy, wonderful news

    I'm sorry that the birth didn't go to plan. It's wonderful that are both ok though.

    Poor DH - I'm sure it must have been difficult to see you go through that but what a wonderful gift at the end
    £250/3000 OH BC(91.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £250/31010.23 (99.19% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,000.00 (2017 O/P £2221.94) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £17,473.18/14,539.71
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 4th Jun 17, 4:14 PM
    • 4,230 Posts
    • 26,393 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Wow congratulations amazing news

    I read your diary from the start the other night but didn't want to butt in but couldn't pass by without saying congratulations. Enjoy every minute
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 5th Jun 17, 7:01 AM
    • 4,089 Posts
    • 22,578 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Congratulations Sashy and husband



    Hope you are recovering from the birth - remember not to overdo things. Rest, rest and more rest is the order!!!
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 15 for November
    NSD - 1/15
    (up to 01/11/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 5th Jun 17, 7:45 AM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hi all, just a quick visit to let you know that DH & I now have a beautiful baby boy. Things really did not go to plan & I ended up in theatre with a trial by forceps delivery (& all prepped for an emergency c-section as they weren't sure forceps would get him out). So I managed labour for roughly 12 hours on gas & air, about 4 ?? hours with diamorphine after things started slowing down & then ended up with the epidural I didn't want anyway.

    Baby was a whopping 9lb 13.5oz with a full head of hair & born Thursday night using the forceps. He is lovely, very content & loves cuddles. We're still in hospital but should be getting home today. DH & I both smitten so looking forward to getting home with him, not decided on a name yet.

    Think I'm still mentally processing the birth & what lead up to it but the main thing is that we're both ok. The hospital staff were all great & have looked after us all so well, including poor DH who has been randomly crying every day as he's so emotional right now.
    Originally posted by sashybo
    Amazing news Sashy! Welcome to the world little one!!!

    I'm sorry you had a rough time of it. If you need help processing it all make sure you speak to your GP when you get home. There are lots of support services and just realising that other Mums have been through it might help you. But the most important thing is your safe and ok and you have your new boy! Congratulations hon.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 5th Jun 17, 7:48 AM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Congratulations Sashy and husband



    Hope you are recovering from the birth - remember not to overdo things. Rest, rest and more rest is the order!!!
    Originally posted by Eager_Elephant
    That is slightly terrifying Elephant!
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 5th Jun 17, 9:26 PM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks guys & to Hidden.

    Baby really is so lovely & I'm just glad he is OK and we were able to get the help we needed as fast as we did. I did manage to get into the birthing pool for several hours at the midwife unit in the hospital before everything slowed down & then started going wrong.

    Wish I'd been able to have the full labour & birth there as was coping in the water with gas & air but baby turned back to back & progress slowed too much (although I did get to 8cm dilated) so I had to get out. The pain got a lot worse then & had to have my waters broken, there was grade 1 meconium & the baby wasn't as active as they wanted so I was transferred to consultant care & put on a hormone drip.

    The pain was much more intense on the drip so had some diamorphine which helped a lot - don't remember much of those couple of hours. Consultant still wasn't happy as though I fully dilated he felt it was too slow. I was given an hour to push & if the baby wasn't out by then it was trial by forceps & possible emergency C-section.

    I did manage to push the baby down but not far enough or quickly enough so had to get an epidural before the forceps in case they needed to do the ECS quickly. The epidural was horrible in that watching the staff move my legs about & not being able to feel them was not a nice feeling, think it was the loss of control for me.

    Luckily they managed to get the baby out with the forceps & 2 huge pushes from me. Was so weird trying to push but not being able to feel where I was pushing. Poor DH was an emotional wreck & starting crying as soon as he saw the baby. He was a brilliant support to me for the whole time though & didn't leave my side unless he had to.

    So we're back home & trying to settle in, our first night last night was a bit rocky as baby went from being uninterested in feeding in the hospital to wanting fed every hour!

    My milk hasn't come in yet so he wasn't getting what he needed & was so distressed. We gave him formula from a bottle to keep him going & will probably bottle feed now with breastfeeding as a supplement. He is just such a big, hungry baby & I don't think I would ever do anything except feed him if we don't. This morning he was on the breast for an hour and within half an hour of coming off was screaming to be fed again. He was given another bottle & was very happy afterwards.

    Spoke to the midwife when she visited & she was very supportive. She said lots of girls mix breast & bottle, some expressing, some not but to do what's best for us and baby.

    My stitches are very ouchy & I haven't had much more than 3 hours sleep at a time for about 5 days now. But other than that very happy and enjoying being with DH & our boy.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 6th Jun 17, 6:52 AM
    • 4,089 Posts
    • 22,578 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    Ah bless you Sashy - cant believe all you have been through and are still posting on here just a few days afterwards.

    I'm glad you have a nice midwife, I have heard that some midwives are anti-bottle and then mum feels like she has to feed constantly to satisfy the baby.

    A suggestion for the stitches is to take a jug of luke warm water with you each time you go to the toilet - it helps take the sting away. I didn't have stitches but did tear and in hospital used the bidet which was fab but I don't have one at home so a jug it had to be.
    It actually works really well.

    Are you sleeping when baby does even if it is the middle of the day?
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 15 for November
    NSD - 1/15
    (up to 01/11/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 6th Jun 17, 7:24 AM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks EE, I'll remember the jug next time then. The thing I'm really scared about is the first bowel movement scenario with stitches in that area as the midwives keep asking if I've been yet.

    I've seen quite a few midwives whilst in the hospital as well as my own midwife during pregnancy & they've all been really nice & totally supportive. They're happy for women to decide on their own what is best for themselves & their babies, which is as it should be. They were really helpful with breastfeeding support in the hospital & I could have stayed longer if I felt I needed to but was wanting to be at home with DH. This was before baby went mega greedy. But as I say the ones I've spoken to have all said great that you're trying to BF but if you want to move to bottle then do it.

    I had a couple of naps on the couch yesterday when baby was sleeping in his Moses basket but probably should have slept more than I did. DH was moaning about being tired yesterday & I just said "Seriously??!!" He got the jist & shut up.

    DH is off work with us both for the next 3 weeks so he has been helping a lot & is really enjoying looking after baby. It's nice to see him bonding with our DS and getting all soppy.

    Last night was so much better with the bottles & baby slept really well in between feeds. DH got up & made the bottles for me as well which was a big help. Baby has been on the breast for half an hour this morning so may try BF first thing & maybe later at night to try and get a small milk supply established to supplement the bottles.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 8th Jun 17, 2:53 PM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    The days seem to be going so quickly, haven't had a chance to update here.

    Baby is getting on well, he's gaining weight & midwives are happy with him. We're still trying to get into a bit of a routine as some days he wants fed every hour but only 1oz at a time but at other times he'll take 2oz & sleep for 3 hours. I'm trying to BF first thing in the morning & later in the evening and milk starting to come in, so hopefully baby gets some breast milk as well as the formula.

    My sister brought my nieces & nephew up for a visit and they were all arguing over whose turn it was to hold him. Baby was really chilled out though & just slept the whole time.

    Going to the chiropractor tomorrow as my back is really sore & can hear a grinding/crunching noise right at the bottom of my spine if I stand or sit too long.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 8th Jun 17, 3:26 PM
    • 4,230 Posts
    • 26,393 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Don't worry to much about the routing unless you feel that's right for you.

    I was a very feed on demand and follow babies cues until they where older and could understand a routine better. Don't get me wrong they soon found their own pattern and routine. I think there's a lot of pressure to be in a set schedule and slee/feeding etc but time goes so quick enjoy every minute x

    Hope this doesn't come across wrong
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 8th Jun 17, 10:36 PM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks Hidden, I know what you're saying re the routine & you're probably right. Think both DH & I feel like we have a lack of direction at the moment as we're both shift workers & used to working/not working on set days etc. A new baby (and especially as he's our first) just throws everything up into the air!

    We have been pretty much following the baby & feeding him/cuddling him when he wants. Just need to adjust to being a family but at the same time feel like we're faffing about & not getting anything done.

    I think I just need to relax a bit more. In a lot of pain with my back today. My mum was up visiting so have been ordered by both her & DH to rest more, which I'm finding difficult as I always think of something I could be doing in the house. DH is here to help me so I should really be taking advantage of that.

    Thoroughly enjoying the baby though, he is just so lovely.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 13th Jun 17, 5:31 PM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi all, just a flying visit - baby seems to be a black hole when it comes to time to do anything else. The days are going by so quickly and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

    We took the baby out to register his birth for the first time after leaving the hospital and it was truly terrifying and exhausting. We were both freaking out and we had the car seat and pram to contend with as well. We did ok but were only out for 2 hours and part of that was at the chiropractor for my back.

    Really need to take the baby a walk in his pram but the weather has been awful and then it's working up the courage to get everything organised and take him out into the scary world. I know we need to do it sooner rather than later.

    Poor baby also now has colic & seems to hate sleeping in his Moses basket. He only wants to sleep on me which means I'm not getting much sleep at all. It's hard and tiring having a baby and I don't think I realised just how much until having my own. He is lovely and we love having him but it's so hard and I'm saying that with a very supportive DH. I find myself respecting all the single parents out there even more than I did before (my mum and sister included). I don't know how they do/did it.

    Have made a few extra payments to loan no1 but the snowball calculator seems to be broken again so can't add them up atm. Think the balance of that loan is now roughly £1200 which is excellent.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 13th Jun 17, 5:40 PM
    • 4,680 Posts
    • 8,868 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Congratulations Sashy.

    Your little boy sounds very much like our little granddaughter in that at first she only wanted to sleep on somebody. My daughter bottle fed in the end so other people could help out. She is now a very healthy almost 2 year old. She had colic too but eventually they realised she was allergic to cows milk and is now on lactose free. That made a difference to her tummy pains.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 16th Jun 17, 10:14 PM
    • 2,440 Posts
    • 18,627 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi enthusiasticsaver, thank you. We've been giving the baby colic drops which seem to be helping but he's still sore & a bit grotty.

    I mentioned the refusing to sleep in his moses basket to the midwife on her last visit & she suggested swaddling him loosely & tucking a rolled up hand towel on either side of him to make him feel more secure. The first night I tried it he slept for 4 hours in the basket & it has helped the last few nights but sadly no repeat of the 4 hour stretch yet.

    Now I have the issue of the baby not wanting to be put down, he wants to be held all the time & screams blue murder after 10 mins if I put him in his seat or beanbag. Makes it difficult to get anything done or even have a nap if DH isn't here. My mum did come up the other day & watched the baby for a few hours so that I could sleep & DH could get a few things done around the house which was great. She said she'll do it anytime we need her to as long as she's not working.

    Forgot to mention that DH harvested the first of our Arran pilot new potatoes last week & they were lovely. One of our courgette plants is flowering as well. DH has done a good job of !ooking after the garden mostly on his own for the last few weeks.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8850 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,208.98
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £967, Car loans £24,151.20
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