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  • FIRST POST
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 2nd Jan 17, 11:49 AM
    • 4,058Posts
    • 16,631Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Rock bottom, but the only way is up
    • #1
    • 2nd Jan 17, 11:49 AM
    Rock bottom, but the only way is up 2nd Jan 17 at 11:49 AM
    Hi all,

    Those who remember me from previously (last on MFW) I'm back again after getting sidetracked. I met my soulmate or so I thought and everything was rosy. Well now those specs are off and I'm Miss Single again, I can see what a mess I've made of the finances and my SE job nose dived with it. Not really any going back there - it drained all my energy ultimately and I got into a bad place with it.

    I have hit rock bottom over the Christmas/New Year break and just starting to lift my head out of the fog now. My outgoings are now bigger than my incomings and I'll need to do a new SOA. I'm trying to drag myself out of the mire.

    There are some good things and I need to focus on those.

    - I've been offered a 30 hr job, just waiting on DBS to come through. Pay is poor but it's better than nothing.

    - I've got 3 new SE strands that I've got courses booked for - I'm going to be busy and working hard. 2 are online, 1 is in person.

    - I'm doing new stuff to get over the ex (well, it's on hold, he isn't sure) - meditation group and back to my old stuff of exercise - gym classes and swimming.

    - I've got some savings still so bills will be paid for January and February.

    I stupidly (in hindisght) bought another second car - a sports one - a deja vu moment that I'm probably going to have to sell that.

    Reading that, it doesn't look too bad I guess. Just tackling it all alone and trying to work it out whilst hanging on to hope with ex/worrying about money/not being able to concentrate on money, courses or anything, I feel isolated and lost.

    I am grateful for lots in my life...I just can't genuinely believe yet.

    I hope the wonderful community here will support, offer suggestions, share thoughts and lift my spirits too.

    Phew! Glad to get it out of my head. I have to turn 2017 into a successful year somehow

    Thanks for reading x
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
Page 2
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 4th Jan 17, 5:45 PM
    • 2,531 Posts
    • 19,289 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi Ali, another one who likes to read your posts - you always seem to have a plan and work through things methodically.

    Sorry to hear about the recent bad luck but you've already started picking yourself up and dusting yourself off.

    I forgot about your post-dog. Hope you don't get a ticket.

    Well done on the business pitch competition!!
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • hiddenshadow
    • By hiddenshadow 4th Jan 17, 5:53 PM
    • 2,403 Posts
    • 10,909 Thanks
    hiddenshadow
    Hi Hidden, that's so lovely of you to pop in too - thank you Wow, you're doing so well with the mortgage - well done!
    Originally posted by Ali-OK
    Thank you! We decided to cut back a bit on pension contributions to really hammer at the mortgage. Amazing what it's done thus far.

    This afternoon's news...I'm a finalist in an online business idea pitch competition! I will be in London next week for the awards ceremony and to find out if I've won and again on the Friday at a well known company. Exciting, but still need a job to pay the bills and I have to pay my own travel (least will be off-peak train).
    Ooh, exciting! I hope the trip to London is fun and that you win!
    MFW: £197,100 (2013) to £103,848 (Jan '18)
    2018 MFW #56: £798/£105,000 0% / MFiT-T4 #15: £55,652/£90,000 61%
    • debtfreeoneday
    • By debtfreeoneday 4th Jan 17, 8:54 PM
    • 2,814 Posts
    • 9,694 Thanks
    debtfreeoneday
    Whilst I am so pleased to see you back, I'm sorry to hear how things have panned out for you of late.

    I didn't 'know' you when you were debt busting before, only mortgage busting, but from what I've read of you - you will kick butt with this debt and get yourself straight again.

    Will subscribe to stalk follow you again.
    DFW (08/08) £64,346.53 Credit card debt: £4299.59 over three credit cards.
    MFW (01/15) £118,031.21 £94,075.17 ~ 2017 OPs £12.79
    Earnings 2018 Pcone £6.00 ~ Ips0s £10.00 ~1poll £36.00 ~ Pr0filic £30.46 ~ TCB £21.72 ~ YouGov £30.75
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 4th Jan 17, 9:03 PM
    • 599 Posts
    • 2,322 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Congratulations on being a finalist! How exciting!
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 4th Jan 17, 9:46 PM
    • 5,926 Posts
    • 31,043 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Some brilliant news there, Ali. Good luck.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015, £9,800 in 2016.
    From a £32,000 debt on 2/9/2013 to debt free on 12/1/2015.
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 4th Jan 17, 10:21 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Hidden, sounds like a good decision there.

    And DFOD - lovely to 'see' you too - how are the littlies and your garden? I will have to spread my wings over to MFW for a catch up once I get on top of things here. Your mortgage is coming down nicely too - mine is sat at £103,700. So close, yet so far from the magic 5 figures I should have reached by year end. Please feel free to stalk, follow, chip in

    Thanks Honeysucklelou2 and Alex - I'm chuffed to have got to the final 5 and it's given me some confidence that it's a viable business. It's in the 'what I really want to do when I grow up' category as well - now that's a first in my life!

    Meditation group was fab - we do mindful eating with chocolate

    Not planned tomorrow as yet, hopefully I can get into a positive frame of mind early on and attack the To Do list
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 4th Jan 17, 10:28 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Hi Ali, another one who likes to read your posts - you always seem to have a plan and work through things methodically.

    Sorry to hear about the recent bad luck but you've already started picking yourself up and dusting yourself off.

    I forgot about your post-dog. Hope you don't get a ticket.

    Well done on the business pitch competition!!
    Originally posted by sashybo
    Thanks sashybo - there's a big flaw in the plan this time which is hardly any income. It does seem quite a bit of ground work I did early December is coming good, so as Beanie says...keep plodding

    Springy left post under the bed for me today, but then brought it to me later on Still no sign of a ticket, with each passing day I feel a little luckier.

    I think I'd better write a business/project plan for the pitch I did!
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • debtfreeoneday
    • By debtfreeoneday 5th Jan 17, 6:55 AM
    • 2,814 Posts
    • 9,694 Thanks
    debtfreeoneday
    I know, those elusive 5 figures - oh well, we will get there this year even just by paying the mortgage if nothing else!
    DFW (08/08) £64,346.53 Credit card debt: £4299.59 over three credit cards.
    MFW (01/15) £118,031.21 £94,075.17 ~ 2017 OPs £12.79
    Earnings 2018 Pcone £6.00 ~ Ips0s £10.00 ~1poll £36.00 ~ Pr0filic £30.46 ~ TCB £21.72 ~ YouGov £30.75
    • CathT
    • By CathT 5th Jan 17, 10:14 AM
    • 5,433 Posts
    • 37,661 Thanks
    CathT
    Hi Ali, I'd been wondering how you were getting on. So sorry to read you've had a tough time lately. Heard you had a diary over here so wanted to pop in and say hello. Stay positive, some good things happening for you at the moment.
    Jan 2018 -
    part 1 - £79,207
    part 2 - £45,863
    Total - £125,070
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 5th Jan 17, 5:05 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Hi Cath and thank you too for popping in and posting, that's really kind of you. How's your extension? Finished I hope?

    I'm focussing on all the positive things and slowly but surely, as I'm filling my time, I'm getting better. DS is getting so independent I think I'm feeling a loss there as well in some ways. He's gone into town straight from school this evening and it's odd at home without him.

    DFOD - you will get to those 5 figures soon for sure and what a moment that will be.

    So today has been a No Spend Day. I've booked myself onto a course of 6 evening business events that our MP has organised - been recommended through a friend. Realise one clashes with DS's 6th Form evening, so I'll need to sort that out.

    I've booked a return free session to the hypno to see if I can crack an issue we worked on. I probably went at a bad time for me - I so need to believe in myself.

    I've done a guided meditation and fell asleep! That wasn't meant to happen!

    I've a couple of phone calls still to make so they'll roll over into tomorrow. I must get more productive as the days are rolling by and I've plenty to do, yet not achieving as much as I know I can.
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • in need of direction
    • By in need of direction 5th Jan 17, 11:04 PM
    • 4,809 Posts
    • 27,356 Thanks
    in need of direction
    Hey, found you. You've been missed. Sorry you're back under adverse circs but glad to see you posting. Take care.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83 today £78,892.61, target £65,000 by 31/12/18 Offset fund today £4,075.43 target £5,500 by 31/12/18
    Emergency fund £355.5k & £200/200 cash.
    Current weight loss 9/32 by 28 feb 2018
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.
    • CathT
    • By CathT 6th Jan 17, 9:50 AM
    • 5,433 Posts
    • 37,661 Thanks
    CathT
    Hi Cath and thank you too for popping in and posting, that's really kind of you. How's your extension? Finished I hope?



    I've booked a return free session to the hypno to see if I can crack an issue we worked on. I probably went at a bad time for me - I so need to believe in myself.

    I've done a guided meditation and fell asleep! That wasn't meant to happen!

    .
    Originally posted by Ali-OK
    It's progressing fairly well, roof going on next week. Fingers crossed abother 6 weeks ish of work. Plan is to have it all decorated by end of March. That will make it just over a year from applying for planning permission to completion!

    I've been doing quite a bit more personal development and it's really helping with my outlook and positivity. Wasn't something I thought I'd do but I'm really benefitting.
    Jan 2018 -
    part 1 - £79,207
    part 2 - £45,863
    Total - £125,070
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 6th Jan 17, 12:09 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Hi INOD - it's really lovely to 'see' you again and I feel like I've come home, if that makes sense. Staying for good this time!

    Cath, that's great news on the extension, I hope it's not been too disruptive and 6 weeks will soon pass.

    Your personal development sounds good, may I ask what sort of things you've been doing that you've found beneficial? Any pointers most welcome

    DS and I did the food shop last night - £11.64. I'm back into meal planning and there's quite a lot in the freezer to keep us going. Tonight we're using up some rolls and burgers with a side of chips.

    I've a really thick head this morning, but have decluttered the 2 top shelves in both wardrobes. I've added a haircut appointment to DS's tomorrow in readiness for next week.

    I've spoken to the biz consultant and got some more good ideas from him.

    I wasn't successful at getting a 2nd interview at a job I really fancied, but at least they called to let me know. I have a 1st interview next week for another post. Still no word on the DBS needed for the job I have an offer for.

    Right, back to my To Do list - not setting myself targets, just taking one task at a time and seeing how it goes.
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • CathT
    • By CathT 7th Jan 17, 2:12 PM
    • 5,433 Posts
    • 37,661 Thanks
    CathT
    Good luck for the next interview and the DBS coming through.

    Re: positivity I've become involved in a network marketing business so surrounded by positivity in that. I'm currently reading 'the ch1mp paradox' which is great. Ive also listened to some audios, the slight edge, miracle morning and the secret are good ones.
    Jan 2018 -
    part 1 - £79,207
    part 2 - £45,863
    Total - £125,070
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 4th Jan 18, 7:18 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Almost a year since I last posted and I need to move forward as it's been a step forward/step back process in those 12 months.

    The good:

    - I won the biz idea competition, got it set up and did a pilot which went well
    - I sold the second car to create some funds
    - I had a little SE work doing office admin/PA type work
    - I was gifted some money to help me through
    - I did 2 temp jobs
    - I'm receiving child tax credit

    The bad:

    - I became more unwell. I was exhausted, burnt out after an ultra busy time in Jan/Feb/early March. Tried to keep going with first temp job, but after a week or so, anxiety issues were horrific and broke down completely over April/May/June. I tried really hard at home - making sure DS got through his exam season and he came out with a good set of GCSEs (now settled into A levels at college)

    - In July, I was lucky to land a retail temp post via SIL - it was good for a little income, building some confidence and being 'out there'. However, the downsides became apparent - DS wasn't feeding himself (he's Aspergers), I couldn't cope with 11pm getting home and being up at 5am next morning (no regular shift pattern) and the fog/location into autumn and some paranoia over locking up at 10pm on a dark street worsened my anxiety. I left

    So back into depression I went. I've been going to MIND since March who've been brilliant, I've had an assessment for Bi-Polar but he didn't think it was, I've had 2 assessments for Aspergers and that's looking likely. Awaiting final one (but could be another 6-9 months before diagnosis).

    Friends have deserted me mostly, one good one left.

    I'm trying to pick myself up again, but now stuck in a no income and not sure what I want to do job wise or am able to. Between the anxiety and depression there are clearer moments, though my decision making ability is severely disabled and self-care is poor at times. My brain/head feels totally different to my robust, determined days and some physical issues just to top it off.

    Sorry to post a downer. I do need and want to move forward. I have to start with budget sheets again, figures and everything else to get my journey going. The irony is the new biz is aimed at teens for positive mental health and is a fun/engaging art form, yet I am too anxious and feel unwell in order to push it. But CBT is due to start with an assessment next week and am back at the GP tomorrow.

    Financially, the lessons I learnt here over the years meant I didn't go on a spending spree, though neither have I managed to cut any costs. There's lots I need to do, it's overwhelming, so I've got to start small. I've even stopped checking my bank account in the knowledge it's going down but feel powerless to stop it. I think it might be time to involve CAB? I think I've got a few months money left so I maybe able to avoid disaster if I can get a job soon. That stands out as priority if I can get my health on track.

    Thanks for reading if you got this far
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 4th Jan 18, 7:52 PM
    • 2,531 Posts
    • 19,289 Thanks
    sashybo
    Ali, I was going through my thread subscriptions last night & saw yours and wondered how you were. Good to hear from you but sorry to hear about the problems youíve been having.

    Glad to hear that DS got through his exams & did well - you always come across as a great & supportive mum, so well done to you as well as DS.

    Iím sure youíll get plenty of support on the boards and I hope the CBT is a big help to you once it starts. Iíve got no doubt that youíll get through this.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • hiddenshadow
    • By hiddenshadow 4th Jan 18, 8:22 PM
    • 2,403 Posts
    • 10,909 Thanks
    hiddenshadow
    Yay, glad to see you back posting! I've missed your updates.

    Sorry to hear things have been a struggle. I know how demoralising it can be to feel like you should be doing (or able to do) X but be unable to achieve it. I hope the GP/MIND/CBT can all help.

    Definitely go with baby steps. Are there 2 or 3 things that you could do in the next week that would get you started in the right direction? Prep healthy meals/snacks for when you're less well? Vow to shower every day, if nothing else? (That might be me projecting ) Go through one month of transactions in your bank account?

    Well done to DS on his GCSEs, I hope he's enjoying A levels.
    MFW: £197,100 (2013) to £103,848 (Jan '18)
    2018 MFW #56: £798/£105,000 0% / MFiT-T4 #15: £55,652/£90,000 61%
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 4th Jan 18, 8:31 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Thanks Sashybo

    I've always done my best to put DS and his extra needs first, only one small literal incident where he walked along a major A road with no paths, as a lesson was cancelled and no bus for a couple of hours. He took the bus route by foot got lost half way and phoned me. He was fine, I wasn't

    I pulled up my big girl pants and checked the bank accounts First time since 12th December . Noted down all the outgoings on paper. Two D/Ds I think I am ready to cancel (Sky and gym). I walk the dog and have a bike = free.

    I've checked the end dates of the 0% CCs (I put the tax payment on it even though I had the money as meant more to live on if needed) and got the up to date loan outstanding amount. It's not as shabby as I thought, plus DS's Dad has paid maintenance some months, including January I had a largish CTC payment in December as well.

    Next job - update sig, set up outgoings spreadsheets. Don't think I can cancel/lower any other outgoings as they're essentials and mostly in deals (elec, gas, internet, mobile). I'm Scrooge with the usage too
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • Ali-OK
    • By Ali-OK 4th Jan 18, 8:56 PM
    • 4,058 Posts
    • 16,631 Thanks
    Ali-OK
    Yay, glad to see you back posting! I've missed your updates.

    Sorry to hear things have been a struggle. I know how demoralising it can be to feel like you should be doing (or able to do) X but be unable to achieve it. I hope the GP/MIND/CBT can all help.

    Definitely go with baby steps. Are there 2 or 3 things that you could do in the next week that would get you started in the right direction? Prep healthy meals/snacks for when you're less well? Vow to shower every day, if nothing else? (That might be me projecting ) Go through one month of transactions in your bank account?

    Well done to DS on his GCSEs, I hope he's enjoying A levels.
    Originally posted by hiddenshadow
    Hi Hidden

    Lovely to see you and thank you for great suggestions.

    I'm good with showering/dressing if I have to go out, so most days as the dog isn't happy otherwise . Think Christmas was worse as DS didn't have college and no alarm going off and it's the weekends I need to force myself. So that's a goal set there.

    Been through the transactions - I jneeded something to push me into it and posting did it. I am weird

    I can pop into gym on way to GP in the morning and cancel membership. Phoning Sky, I need to get prepped with account information though no idea of the impact on our tv set up in terms of aerial.

    Hope you're keeping well and need to catch up on your thread too.
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
    • hiddenshadow
    • By hiddenshadow 4th Jan 18, 10:56 PM
    • 2,403 Posts
    • 10,909 Thanks
    hiddenshadow
    I'm good with showering/dressing if I have to go out, so most days as the dog isn't happy otherwise .
    Originally posted by Ali-OK
    You're better than me - I fully embrace the homeless hobo look when out with the dogs. I figure I look pretty unattractive picking up/holding poo anyway, may as well not go to extra effort. On Christmas DH stayed in pajamas all day and never showered, he just pulled on trousers/coat over top.

    Think Christmas was worse as DS didn't have college and no alarm going off and it's the weekends I need to force myself. So that's a goal set there.
    I definitely find it easier to stick with a set routine, or not stray too far from it. Otherwise I get totally out of whack.

    Hope you're keeping well and need to catch up on your thread too.
    Thanks, 2017 was a year of lots of changes for us, but mostly doing well.
    MFW: £197,100 (2013) to £103,848 (Jan '18)
    2018 MFW #56: £798/£105,000 0% / MFiT-T4 #15: £55,652/£90,000 61%
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