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  • FIRST POST
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 1st Jan 17, 2:18 PM
    • 9,134Posts
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    Mooloo
    Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 17, 2:18 PM
    Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017 1st Jan 17 at 2:18 PM
    Welcome to another year in the life of Mooloo.
    I have been posting for many years now and have shared all the ins and outs of life, love, families and work.
    I started when I was struggling to bring up my children and their new babies under quite difficult circumstances.
    I am happy to say that I am in a much better stage of my life than all those years ago.
    I live with my 9 year old granddaughter with a Guardianship order for the past seven years.
    I have my own business running a sewing shop, and I have a rather tenuous relationship with my chap for 12 years plus.
    We are moving into 2017 with the new challenges of joining up the dots and hopefully moving forward to a single home in a couple of years.

    So while I attempt to get things done I will continue to keep my life on track by being accountable for my actions by committing what is going on here.
    I will see if I can remember how to post a link from one thread to another.
    Last edited by Mooloo; 02-01-2017 at 6:54 PM. Reason: Change title
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
Page 48
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 6th Sep 17, 7:24 AM
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    Mooloo
    My children always say I will pay you back, but Biggest is the only one who is paying me back at the moment. DS started too in the beginning of the year when he was with the gf. However it never lasts.
    I will have to redo my own budget with this in mind. I am struggling to put away any savings at the moment. This is stressful and frustrating for me as I was so used to putting 10% of my money straight into the savers accounts for emergency, holidays and spare.
    But it is all gone now.
    However I have to meet the repayments of the cards I used to pay DS out of trouble. Because in 2007 I was bankrupt I fear the lack of money greatly and managed my money well for all that time, and it grates against the last 10 years of solvency.
    The fact I am living week to week again is beginning to affect me.

    Deep breath then, big girls knickers on, SAD lamp out to counteract the gloom weather, Golden Paste upped to two "beans", and today when out with Mum I will need to buy another notebook for my diary and one with dividers for the money as the current one is now getting quite full, and is a years worth of coming and going from each account.
    I am trying not to panic.
    I think that I may actually call the kids when I have done the budget and ask them for a certain amount back on their next Payday. Even if it is only £5 a time. To get them to realise that I need the money back.
    So I will dedicate a page to each of them to record the repayment etc.

    Today is my day for looking after Mum, but as the vacuum at work is broken I need to take my own one in to clear up before wedding fittings this evening.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • grandma247
    • By grandma247 6th Sep 17, 9:15 AM
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    grandma247
    Good idea on keeping a record of what each one has borrowed and paid back.

    I have a friend who did that when her kids wanted an advance on their pocket money. It has stood them in good stead and helped them understand about borrowing.

    I wonder if it might help you to have a purse with £80 in it (£20 for each one) as an absolute emergency fund which will feed them and maybe pay fuel (electric or gas) for a few days. Say that is all you have and there will be no more unless it is paid back because you can't afford any more. That way you will feel easier in your mind if they really need the help.

    I know it is hard to stick to your guns but you really need to in case you have an emergency yourself one day.

    They are all young enough to cope with a cold house and little food for a few days till payday and they do have thinking ability to look for help elsewhere if they needed to. You have to start pulling back a bit in the speed you help and the amount of help you give. If they ignore your advice of where to get help, grit your teeth and wait.

    Leave a note to yourself about paying it back and stepping back in the purse and read it every time you open it.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 6th Sep 17, 7:28 PM
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    beanielou
    Good idea for asking for it back even if it is only a small amount each week.
    Great idea to say you only have 20 quid.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 6th Sep 17, 10:27 PM
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    Mooloo
    After the school walk, I wrote for 30 mins until the alarm went off, then resetting for another 30 mins I attacked the bathroom, resetting again I attacked the kitchen and started on the front room, but the vacuum was blocked so I had to take it to bits and with a straightened coat hanger I sorted it, but by then it was time to go to my Mum. Mum needed new shoes so I took her to MK. We found one pair of shoes in Shoe Zone, but not exactly what she needed. After lunch in Ask Italia, I persuaded her to look in Hotter for some shoes. To start with she was reluctant to buy shoes at £69 a pair but I said that it was only the cost of two lunches, and put like that she agreed. She now has what looks like a very comfortable pair of shoes. Fingers crossed. They do have a money back guarantee and as a bonus we got a shawl for free. ( I hadn't known about that), which had a £25 price tag. So I have ended up with a new shawl!
    Home intime for dgd. Then back to work for a quick clean up, vacuum ready for the wedding party's fittings.
    They were late, and the child was a terrible two model!!! I came home with a headache.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 7th Sep 17, 7:09 AM
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    • 44,578 Thanks
    Mooloo
    DS has finally sent me a more positive message. I asked him how he was several hours earlier but he was probably at work. He said that he was feeling in a better place and that his pay etc has been sorted. That he thinks that he can make a career with the company and that he has finished the basic training and is looking forward to learning the behind the scenes stuff. He apologised for being a bit of a bolistic missile lately and that he would be forever in my debt"
    Not so sure about that last sentence though!
    I was going to withdraw £80 and put £20 in an envelope for each of them, and tell them that is all I have and if it's not repaid there is nothing more to lend. Plus I want to see a regular payment on pay day ( even if it is only £5), to go back into my pension and tell them that I have to have it.
    But mostly they are digital bank transfers because they are not living close. So if I do with drawer it and they borrow it would not be from the envelope. So I need to think about that one.
    BF came over for his supper and stayed, but hardly said two words so I sometimes wonder why he bothers, but at least he came. He is off to do the Landrover Challenge for work this weekend so I get to stay at home and can do a bit more than 30 minutes in my cleaning and clearing.
    Time to move, Dgd has a trip to the space centre with school today and we need to get her there by 8am
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 7th Sep 17, 3:14 PM
    • 47,244 Posts
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    beanielou
    Hotter shoes are worth every penny in my opinion.
    I have had my first pair about 5 years.
    Still comfy but very comfy.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 7th Sep 17, 6:00 PM
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    Mooloo
    Biggest surprised me by coming to the shop with DGS4 today. Luckily she did as I had two pairs of curtains and a wedding dress to do and couldn't do them in the shop. She stayed for 3 hours and helped and dgs4 played with his cars beside the desk and was as good as gold.
    I still have some jobs from 29th August to finish though! They are now all lined up in order for me to do tomorrow. I am praying for a slower day so I can catch up completely. I had wanted to sew £200 worth, but in the end I only managed to see £129.
    I don't know how much I took as I was there right up until the last minute to get Dgd from her trip at 5.20
    I didn't get my hour head start as one of the mum's I used to talk to, but haven't in about 18 months suddenly decided to tell me everything from the past two years.!! I had to say I have to go after 45 minutes or I would not have got the shop open on time!
    No BF now for a week(ish) so I hope that I claim some of that time to sort some of the jobs off of the list.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • *max*
    • By *max* 7th Sep 17, 6:14 PM
    • 2,799 Posts
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    *max*
    It's not just your children you have to learn to say "no" to, Mooloo! People who impact on your time-keeping and plans for your business ALSO cost you money, indirectly. You need to be a lot more assertive!

    The mum you were talking to, if it happens again and you have plans, just say "I'm really sorry, but I have to cut our chat short, I have to do/be at/go to XYZ." And then DO IT. Leave. lol

    I know you are too nice and are afraid of offending people, but when it starts costing you time and/or money, you have to put your big girl's pants on and say NO!
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 7th Sep 17, 7:26 PM
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    Mooloo
    I definitely need my Biggirls pants at the moment.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 8th Sep 17, 7:20 AM
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    Mooloo
    Another day where I struggle to move on waking up.
    My ankles are especially stiff so coming down stairs was difficult. But I set the alarm for 7 instead of 6.30 as I had visitors until 11 last night. So I don't have the luxury of drinking my cuppa in bed, and getting ready to surface.
    The shop is going to be busy today with fittings booked in, and at 4pm I have someone coming to value it. (Not that I plan on selling up - just wanted to know if it would be classed as saleable).
    Then we are meeting up with all of the Mum's and kids in DGDs group and mine, to go to the fair tonight at around 6pm
    One of the Mum's is going to collect Dgd for me and meet us in town as the fair is practically outside of the shop door, so I can work late.
    I am about to make both of us a packed lunch as I have bought lunch in the shop next door most of the week. That won't do the food budget much good would it.
    I have lost my little girls on Saturday lessons as the Mum can't afford it anymore, and I know their friend won't come without them, so I will need to drum up some more for future weeks. I still have two older girls who come occasionally and my little star who has her private lesson coming this week. The room is booked for a crochet club Saturday afternoon too.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 8th Sep 17, 6:43 PM
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    beanielou
    Enjoy the fair
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 8th Sep 17, 7:54 PM
    • 37,664 Posts
    • 33,978 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    Another day where I struggle to move on waking up.
    My ankles are especially stiff so coming down stairs was difficult.
    Originally posted by Mooloo
    Mooloo, I've had that problem and now I rarely get out of bed without circling my ankles, and flexing and stretching my feet. I do it at the same time as my shoulder exercises, and spend about five minutes on it.
    Still knitting!
    Completed: 1 adult cardigan, 3 baby jumpers, 1 shawl, 2 pairs baby bootees,
    1 Wise Man Knitivity figure, 1 sock ...
    Current projects: 1 shawl, t'other sock (just about to turn the heel!)
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 9th Sep 17, 2:43 PM
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    • 44,578 Thanks
    Mooloo
    Mooloo, I've had that problem and now I rarely get out of bed without circling my ankles, and flexing and stretching my feet. I do it at the same time as my shoulder exercises, and spend about five minutes on it.
    Originally posted by Savvy_Sue
    I normally stretch etc while the kettle boils, and the cools a bit.
    But I didn't really leave myself enough time.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 9th Sep 17, 3:38 PM
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    Mooloo
    Dgd is visiting her Grandad with her Aunty, BF is on an adventure weekend god knows where. I am home from work and chilling with old episodes of NCIS.!
    I know I should be doing jobs around the house but there is always tomorrow!
    ( I have the washing machine on, and will move it on when necessary).
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 9th Sep 17, 5:35 PM
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    • 44,578 Thanks
    Mooloo
    Just broken one of my back teeth eating a piece of cheese! Owww toothache already.
    Dgd on her way home.
    Two episodes of NCIS watched. Two washing loads finished and third in. But not hung up yet as I plan on having a bubble bath with candles and book first.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 9th Sep 17, 8:43 PM
    • 4,525 Posts
    • 19,104 Thanks
    Slinky
    Ouch sorry to hear about the tooth, I hope you've got an NHS dentist.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 9th Sep 17, 8:50 PM
    • 47,244 Posts
    • 169,823 Thanks
    beanielou
    Boo to the tooth.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 11th Sep 17, 7:11 AM
    • 9,134 Posts
    • 44,578 Thanks
    Mooloo
    So, I didn't even get dressed yesterday!
    I woke up in a very very low mood and with a cup of tea beside me I started to write my diary. First the update of the previous few days activity and then, I wrote what was going on in my mind. I wrote for hours! I was going to go for a bath, dye my hair, sort out the clothes mountain, take Dgd out somewhere and do the food shopping!
    I wrote for my sanity, I wrote about struggling to reach my dreams and when I started to write, I was ready to give up on my dreams.
    I was/am restless and frustrated with my self.
    I stopped for a while to watch Annie the movie with Dgd, and then I only kept the washing going, and tumble dried some of it afterwards. I drank copious amounts of tea and occasionally picked my diary back up to write somemore. Then I watched Youve got Mail on the tv, and Dgd popped to the shop for yoghurt and fruit. I chatted to my brother who rang me on Skype and then spent hours looking at semi ruins in rural Portugal!
    I don't have time to tell it all over again here.
    But I have decided that I need to still have a dream or goal or I am lost.
    I don't know how to make my dreams work at the moment because of my family and my BF. But at the beginning of my writing it became obvious that I would probably either have to give up on my dreams if I stayed with BF, and yet I didn't want to give up on him. I should be happy and I am lucky that I have a roof over my head, that Dgd is happy here, that work is doing quite well, that it is indeed a saleable business, that I get the best of both worlds with BF. But should and actual are two very different things.
    I still want to spend a lot of time in Portugal, sooner rather than later, but with my financial history I need a miracle! With BF I know that he will never leave his place or Family, and if I did have a place abroad then I don't know that we would have each other.
    Yet when I think about living here, and doing the same things years later, I am horrified by the thought, I feel trapped in a house I don't like, and in a mundane life, with superficial friends ( I have two real friends but I rarely see them now, life takes us in different directions), I want to run!!!!
    So I can't run until I can afford it!
    So from today I am going to start to put away 20% of my income not 10%, and I am going to look for other income streams to find another 10%.
    I I have to find a way out of this feeling of being trapped.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Feral Moon
    • By Feral Moon 11th Sep 17, 7:17 AM
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    Feral Moon
    Have you thought about maybe writing a book?
    • beedeedee
    • By beedeedee 11th Sep 17, 8:02 AM
    • 904 Posts
    • 1,207 Thanks
    beedeedee
    Rather than bricks and mortar in Portugal, have you thought about a caravan being kept over there? Plenty of nice sites and if you have a long stay pitch or put it in storage, very reasonable. Touring caravans can be easily moved if you want a change of scenery. You could go over whenever the fancy took you and if you decided to make it a permanent move eventually....we'll you'd have somewhere to live till you found the dream property. Just a thought, it might make one dream a little closer?
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