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  • FIRST POST
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 1st Jan 17, 2:18 PM
    • 9,068Posts
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    Mooloo
    Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 17, 2:18 PM
    Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017 1st Jan 17 at 2:18 PM
    Welcome to another year in the life of Mooloo.
    I have been posting for many years now and have shared all the ins and outs of life, love, families and work.
    I started when I was struggling to bring up my children and their new babies under quite difficult circumstances.
    I am happy to say that I am in a much better stage of my life than all those years ago.
    I live with my 9 year old granddaughter with a Guardianship order for the past seven years.
    I have my own business running a sewing shop, and I have a rather tenuous relationship with my chap for 12 years plus.
    We are moving into 2017 with the new challenges of joining up the dots and hopefully moving forward to a single home in a couple of years.

    So while I attempt to get things done I will continue to keep my life on track by being accountable for my actions by committing what is going on here.
    I will see if I can remember how to post a link from one thread to another.
    Last edited by Mooloo; 02-01-2017 at 6:54 PM. Reason: Change title
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
Page 26
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 16th May 17, 7:18 AM
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    Mooloo
    Does Staff make your life easier, Mooloo? She seems to do what she wants when she wants? I can't fathom just cheerily telling my boss that actually I'm taking leave when I'm needed to hold down the fort and had agreed to do so, and feel like that was okay.
    Originally posted by armchairexpert
    On the whole she has made life easier, while she is in, she keeps the customers and me organised, keeps the shop tidy and stocked, and prepares work for me, taking the jobs in and giving them our leaves me more time to sew. I just think with retirement looming and her daughter's Cafe, she now has other priorities.
    She was due to retire in July anyway and was only going to come back to cover my holidays because she still can't quite imagine full retirement.
    In a way it is probably time for her to go, but we are so busy that if she was to go, the amount of sewing that I got done would be very much reduced. I am working flat out even passed shop opening hours these days, but how long it will be like that is debatable as you never know from one day to the next what will come through the door.


    Bf is still miffed with me. His problem not mine.
    Dgd needs to get to school early today so I better get her up and moving. One of the other Mum's needs a lift to work so I will take the car, and the opportunity to take a pile of off cut fabrics down to the shop and out of my front room.
    Better get up!!!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 16th May 17, 8:00 AM
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    Eager_Elephant
    Crikey Mooloo its like being a teenager again when your GF/BF was 'your' property until you were old enough to realise that actually everyone had the right to do what they wanted.

    Surely your BF should have been pleased that someone else wanted to dance with you - would have saved him having to get up and dance!!!

    Hope it all works out for you and I think its a good call not to move in with him.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for July
    NSD - 8/16
    (up to 15/08/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • fozziebeartoo
    • By fozziebeartoo 16th May 17, 12:41 PM
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    fozziebeartoo
    I ALWAYS read Mooloo, I don't comment but I am cheering you on from the sidelines!!

    But I feel I HAVE to say it.....

    You already have a child to care for full time.

    You do NOT need another one who inhabits a grown mans body.

    You deserve better.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 16th May 17, 6:41 PM
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    Mooloo
    Staff and I were chatting today about our significant other halves, and the difference between hers and mine is cavernous!
    I am really surprised that even today he is still miffed with me.
    I have text and told him he needs to get over it, that we both have different perceptions and different personalities and we are not always going to agree. But until he learned to let it go, I wasn't expecting to see him here Tomorrow. As I wasn't planning on sitting in awkward silences.
    I realised that things are on repeat all over again, the only difference is that it's lasted 6 months since his last episode and not three! We are coming up to an anniversary, remember its a bit de ja vu, isn't it .
    Anyway I am not crying over it, he can do what he likes but he will not put me in the corner, or make me subservient again. Sod him. I am my own woman and if he doesn't like that, well tough.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 16th May 17, 6:59 PM
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    Mooloo
    Ps.
    My guardianship funding has been reduced by £26.52 a week. Suppose it's better than loosing it all.
    But I know that I have also just received the papers for housing and tax credits so although I reinvested in the shop, my income will be based on the profit, so I think I will be loosing those too. I just hope that I can survive when the changes all happen.
    But I at least know that I have worked hard for it all and if I do loose more it must mean that I am going to earn enough in my own right this year.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • dktreesea
    • By dktreesea 16th May 17, 11:25 PM
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    dktreesea
    Texting from BF not brilliant he is still sulking.
    I won't be drawn into dicecting the evening all over again. I have decided to come to bed and read for a while as head space is too full.
    Originally posted by Mooloo

    Hi Mooloo, sending you positive thoughts.


    When the children were small I had the policy of recognising good behaviour and ignoring bad behaviour, as in no attention from me if they want to behave like that. Maybe it's the same with BF/GFs?
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 17th May 17, 3:56 AM
    • 552 Posts
    • 3,598 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    Aha, I see, Staff's near retirement so working for you seems (to her) like a sort of hobby/favour. That makes more sense, I was picturing her as younger!

    Sympathies about the BF. I couldn't be doing with a partner who took more out of me than he gave back.
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    14 August 2017 - Refinanced: $220,000
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 17th May 17, 7:15 AM
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    Mooloo
    Spent all evening in long text messages with BF, I am not sure what the end result will be because it was a very difficult thing to do via text and not face to face. But he did seem to change his attitude towards the end of the evening. I am not sure if he will come today, but I have masses of work to do that I brought home, and I will have to do it tonight as wasted all evening texting him and today I have to fit in going food shopping, babysitting Dgs4 before doing anything with Mum, and getting back for dgd at 3.15!
    Should be doing my household work and my accounts for both home and business as every one wants me to prove my income all over again.
    My first thought at the drop in income is that is our holiday fund gone now. So I am going to have to rethink the budget as holidays are what we do together ( dgd and I), that makes things special.
    I am lucky that I have one with my Mum, but it is important to keep one for dgd and me.
    I better get moving as I didn't put the bins out last night and they come around soon.
    I will keep you informed of the ups and downs of life later or tomorrow.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 17th May 17, 11:36 AM
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    Mooloo
    Well someone put my bin out for me, which was very kind. Don't know who.
    I did the school run without major issues for once, and dropped the other Mum in town and went home. Booked the hotel for daughter's wedding so I don't have to drive etc
    Contacted Amazon to sort out my subscriptions that I wasn't aware of!! They are going to refund me £26.97 and cancel 2 subscriptions that were paid but not being used. So going forward it will save me £16.98 a month.
    Although I wasn't budgeting for it anyway.
    A quick shopping list, and a trolley dash around Aldi in less than 15 minutes to shop and got to Biggest's just in time to babysit dgs4 at 11am.
    So he has gone for his sleep and I can slow down, gather my thoughts and do some paperwork etc now.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 17th May 17, 8:20 PM
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    Mooloo
    Gosh, sewing at home for the last 2 1/2 hours, and shortened 12 pairs of trousers. Now I am cooking tea.
    My day is late as babysitter took 2 hours longer than anticipated.
    Mum and I didn't get dinner until after 2pm and then she needed to get some food shopping so quick trip to Aldi before I came home.
    Got one of the Mum's to collect dgd as just didn't have time otherwise.
    I did my shopping before baby sitting and did quite a bit of my accounts whilst babysitting.
    All in all a good day.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 18th May 17, 7:09 AM
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    Mooloo
    Bf came over last night but it was late as half way here he had to go back for his laptop! I thought we were going to talk but we didn't. I was too tired, and he was trying to sort out something on the laptop so I went to bed when QI had finished and he followed a few minutes later. I slept almost instantaneously as I was so tired. I don't even remember getting up to go to the loo until 6.30 this morning! Unheard of.
    DS passed his driving test, we had a little chat about that and I told him he needed to make sure that his ex had claimed her benefits she is entitled to, and he needs to tell housing that he has moved out. I have cancelled the direct debit to them as I am not going to be able to pay her rent as well as my rent etc. I can't see her ever paying me if I did. I can give them the week he paid me, directly if necessary but at the moment it's just gone off of the spreadsheet list of what they owed.
    Did I tell you my SGO has been reduced by £26.53 a week. That is some £1300 odd a year so actually it's our annual holiday at the moment.
    So I will have to think about how to turn my clutter into at least that amount to pay for them instead.
    But at least I am still getting some each week, for another year anyway.
    I am not sure if I am going to have it any longer as if business continues to grow I will certainly not be eligible for it.
    I had better learn to live with out it as part of the main budget before the year is over. I predict a year of massive changes in my life.
    I had better get out of bed, and get dgd up and ready for school. The day has begun. Here's hoping for plain sailing and no tantrums ( and that's only me!!- just kidding)!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 18th May 17, 4:43 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    Hi Mooloo.
    The advantage of not getting to keep up with your posts very often is that catching up gives a bigger picture than reading most days .
    It's really amazing to see your business now becoming what you hoped for .
    The new seamstress sounds the person you were searching for all along . The fact you feel able to trust her if you aren't there speaks for itself . The work seem to be coming in better than last year and you don't sound as stressed as you were .
    I'm very glad to hear your son has escaped the toxic situation and has settled work complete with his own space to actually get some sleep .
    Hoping something can be sorted to ensure the little ones safety . I wonder why her family aren't stepping up to the plate , I can't understand family not supporting their own and never will .
    You seem to be really organised on all fronts .
    TED talks are great aren't they? I first came across them on MGs blog .
    I think the big difference now is your planning each evening for the next day . I'm intrigued with the visualisation ideas . Is that idea from the book you mentioned a while back? I wouldn't mind trying it but have forgotten the title .
    Sorry to hear the allowance is being reduced . The amazing thing about your mindset is you see a solution to such happenings .

    On a seperate subject BF . You've been there and got the tshirt ! You are at the point where your life is heading in the direction you hoped for , you've worried and worked to build the business please don't let yourself be taken in .
    The leopard never changes it's spots . A lot of people think control is not important . In reality it undermines your own belief in yourself and strips your confidence and can invade your headspace .
    After many years of campaigning there are very good reasons why controlling behaviour is now included in domestic abuse .
    I was a physically abused and controlled wife and you recover faster from a black eye or a split lip than mind control that slowly escalates over times until you no longer trust your own actions and thoughts .
    Well I seem to have written a small book so send good wishes to you all .
    Onwards and Forwards Mooloo.
    polly
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 19th May 17, 9:13 AM
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    Mooloo
    Hi Polly, thanks for reading etc.
    Mostly I feel positive but do get my wobbles.
    I have read so many books, but I think although quite heavy going the turning point for me was the two Brendon Burchard books. Motivation Manifesto and The Golden Ticket.
    But I am not really sure where the visualisation has come from except possibly an amalgamation of all of the books from The Secret, To The Charged Life.
    I believe that in life everything has to have been a thought first, someone's vision, an idea, before it can become reality. I also am beginning to understand that if we believe in the worst, then that's all we see. Many years ago, when I lost my grandchildren to Social Services, I was very ill, felt a completely victimised person, and I went to berievement councilling, and I started to see things differently. Slowly as I rambled on, for months I changed back into what I am now. My health improved, my attitude changed and I started to dream again. I read books on self help, I wanted to live in a different world and I truly believed that I could. I may not be there yet, but the more I focus my mind and take those few moments to concentrate on the things I want I find a way to make it happen.
    Visualisation of living the way I want to, sort of tricks the mind into thinking that I have been there before, so the mind thinks, no problem because you have been here before so you do it like this/that, or it says woa and I didn't like it before so better do it differently.
    I sit in bed first 20 minutes and I see my day before me, I try to picture it and although my mind wonders eventually I get calmer and I believe that when I get that visualisation right, it's my blue print.
    I am learning gratitude instead of pessimism and I sing Thankyou for giving me the Morning " etc and change the words to what ever comes into my head as I drive or walk to work.
    I have seen the vision of the second shop, I have seen the building and I have imagined what I will need to have it.
    I said I wanted a shop, and within weeks I had it.
    Then I wanted a sports car, and I found it.
    I believe that I will have my holiday home in Portugal and when I see the house or apartment I will bring it into life.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 20th May 17, 8:46 AM
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    Mooloo
    Morning, gosh I am busy, which has been so good really. Firstly it has allowed my new lady 23 hours work this week and our cash flow has increased obviously. Last week we did a brilliant £984.70 double the week before. This weekwe have done £823.60 and we still have a half day left today.if people come to pick up the finished items we could hit £1,000
    We are currently making the cushions for a campervan and that will be about £550.00 in next weeks funds, as both of us will be working on them on Monday now the piping has been sorted out.

    On the BF front, we are still plodding along, after quite a long discussion over Tuesday night, and I had to laugh yesterday morning when BF who had come home in a prototype car, all camouflaged out the night before asked me to go to the Launch party of said car in July. .. erm I said Thankyou but my daft mind thought ( is there dancing? Should I go dressed in a burka?, so nobody will ask me to dance,). Of course I didn't say anything I just had the silly image in my mind!
    One thing about practicing visualisation techniques, I don't even need to close my eyes to see images in my mind anymore!
    On a serious note the plan to eventually move to his in the future is not on the cards anymore. I am going to stay here, unless I win the lottery and buy my own house some time!
    Right I better get to work. Time is flying.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 20th May 17, 3:43 PM
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    Mooloo
    Wow. Really busy. Although the shop floor was quite. We made £129.50 today, most of the money was lessons and the sale of a sewing book.
    So we didn't quite reach target but a second week over £900 is not to be sneezed at.
    I had fittings, lessons and more lessons and another fitting ending with servicing a sewing machine. I left at just before 3pm.
    The heavens opened here just as I got home. The girls were in the garden and are now soaked! But having fun.
    I am going to drink a cup of tea and then empty the washing machine and hang it up in the bathroom. Then sort out our clothes for the weekend and load the car up with everything we need to take to Oxford.
    For me that means computers and paperwork, possibly a book, my business journal, and hopefully I will find time to work in the evenings or tomorrow morning.
    Dgd wants to take her Lego, her fidget spinner and her kindle.
    I was thinking of taking my suit to cut out etc, but as I have been so busy this week perhaps I will give myself a day off of sewing.
    I am hoping that next week will be as good as this one. A few good weeks needed to catch up on the deficit from last month.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 20th May 17, 3:59 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    That's a good days trading Mooloo and over the week . It appears you and the seamstress are a winning team and should ease the load sewing wise you've been under .
    Do give yourself the days break from sewing , hope you get some sun and time to relax .
    I agree with all you said in your reply to my last post . Just a pity we have to go through certain events without a manual to guide us .
    Are you still taking the GP? Does it seem beneficial ?
    Have a good weekend and recharge those batteries .
    polly x
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 21st May 17, 11:55 AM
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    Mooloo
    That's a good days trading Mooloo and over the week . It appears you and the seamstress are a winning team and should ease the load sewing wise you've been under .
    Do give yourself the days break from sewing , hope you get some sun and time to relax .
    I agree with all you said in your reply to my last post . Just a pity we have to go through certain events without a manual to guide us .
    Are you still taking the GP? Does it seem beneficial ?
    Have a good weekend and recharge those batteries .
    polly x
    Originally posted by pollyanna 26
    To be honest I keep forgetting as it's in the freezer and I had not quite made it part of the routine, but I will start the intention again when I get home.

    I am going to try to relax Today
    Dgd is playing Lego and bf is gardening while I faff about on the internet.
    I should be doing accounts really.
    Last edited by Mooloo; 21-05-2017 at 1:08 PM. Reason: Spelling
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 22nd May 17, 6:46 AM
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    Mooloo
    Headlight bulb replaced with the help of BF. £13.
    School shoes, shorts and cardigan replaced £30, my flat dolly shoes and a pair of canvas shoes replaced £16.98 and a PS3 game £2.50 for dgd.
    So an expensive day for me, although in the grand scheme of things not a huge amount really.
    In my overdraft now though so I need to juggle my money around later today my Facebook news feed came up with a picture of me and one of my grandson now adopted out, and I didn't know wether to share it or not, but I have in the end. 6 years ago! It feels like yesterday.
    I am just having a cuppa in bed, made by BF as he left for work and then I have to gather up our stuff, pack the car, drive home and get dgd ready for school. Her uniform was left drying in the bathroom when we came over on Saturday.
    I have a busy day ahead with cushions, although my lady might do them on her machine as it's more robust than my machine, and if so I will do other jobs that have been waiting. I did accounts last night but noticed a problem with the bank account actually not tallying with the computer figures so I have to delve backwards into the pair of them and see where I have gone wrong. It will be there somewhere of course.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 22nd May 17, 8:22 PM
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    beanielou
    Where did you get your dolly shoes please?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 22nd May 17, 8:50 PM
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    Mooloo
    Where did you get your dolly shoes please?
    Originally posted by beanielou
    This time I got some in Shoe Zone. £7.99 but they had some at £10 for two pairs however as I am a size 8 they are limited in what they have.
    I am heavy on shoes so only buy cheap ones now. I had some from Office two years ago, but they wore out just as quickly. So I would rather change them more often at lower prices.
    I am happy to have second hand clothes but rarely find shoes that way.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
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