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  • FIRST POST
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 1st Jan 17, 8:31 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 17, 8:31 AM
    Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World 1st Jan 17 at 8:31 AM
    Good Morning Lovely Ladies

    Welcome to the new Frump to Fab thread. A whole new world of frugal style and fabulousity. A place where we learn from each other how to be the best we can with the resources we have.

    Can you be both frugal and fabulous, I think so. You can be both skint and stylish. You can have your cake and eat it, you can "live it large" on a minuscule budget.

    So to all you newbies welcome. Join in the fun with the ladies in our fabulous online community. Here we discuss all things fabulous and we learn all about "fabbing".

    Yes I know it's a made up word but what does it mean.

    Well for us it means taking care of ourselves, our looks yes of course but it's more than "mere vanity".

    "FAbbing" also means looking after our health, our well being, our homes, our careers, our hobbies, our interests and past times and not forgetting our finances.

    ANd of course, it goes without saying, a verybig warm welcome to our regulars, returners, and lurkers.

    So dear newbies Join in the fun with the ladies in our fabulous online community

    Before we get started let me take this opportunity to wish you all A Very Happy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year.

    Today you may be busy with New Year's Day gatherings or you may Be feeling a little worse for wear after the New Years Eve Celebrations so for now we are going to be gentle.

    No fasting, no detox (unless of course you want to) but I would advocate that we ease ourselves gently into the New Year by remembering our first mantra.

    Step 1. Wear perfume. You should smell divine every day. Don't save your favourite fragrances "for best". Never again save anything for best. Don't we deserve to be the best we can be - every single day.

    Ah but what about the cost I hear you say. This is a Money saving website after all.......

    Well you don't have to douse yourself in your most expensive Dior or Chanel perfumes. A simple spray of cologne will still smell wonderful.

    And one of the nicest smells of all is a waft of fresh clean soap. So if you can't afford perfume then at least make sure you are freshly washed or showered and use a lovely soap or shower gel.

    So dig out some of those new smellies you got for Christmas and start using them.

    Today's tip.

    Got a perfume you don't like because it's too strong or heavy?? Dilute it.

    Don't throw it away or regift it. Add it to some simple cream or lotion or even some vegetable oil and make a luxurious moisturising body treatment. The height of luxury and decadence for mere pennies.

    I am still recovering from my chest infection.......feeling a lot better today but I'm still going to take it easy. So........I am going to spend some time today pondering on what I would like to achieve this year. I am not going to think in terms of New Years Resolutions it will be more a case of goal setting.

    As most of you will know Dad died on Friday so much of January will entail making his funeral arrangements and sorting out his estate.
    This means that, realistically, I am going to be busy for the next couple of weeks so I might have to catch up with my new plans.

    But.......just because I might not be posting everyday doesn't mean to
    Say that I won't be keeping a watchful eye on you. I shall be reading and observing!!!

    So please start the new fabbing year without me and I'll catch up with you all again just as soon as I can.

    Have a fabulous New Year's Day. See you all soon.

    X
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 01-01-2017 at 2:09 PM.
Page 50
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 16th Jun 17, 1:25 AM
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    Ellsbel
    Lainey do keep us posted about the horse - how exciting And a great weight loss incentive!
    Glad you were able to get out and take your mind off your health problems sugarbaby.
    Ruby, I think most Mums have that feeling that their little ones are driving them mad - I know it must be doubly hard with Twins! Believe me (I know it sounds crazy to you now!) you'll miss the baby years when they're both grown up! hope it gets a bit easier soon.
    Nice to hear from you chanie enjoy your day off.
    LL I think you've done the right thing. I know it must be very hard but right now you don't need the stress of your Sister's behaviour. I've absolutely no doubt though, that in the not too distant future she will realise she needs you and will try to get you back on side.
    I think that often, sadly, being nice to people and trying to be helpful all the time can be seen as having a soft spot to exploit. I'm having trouble sleeping tonight and part of that is due to brooding over the fact that I tried to point out - in as nice a way as I could - that I felt I was being a bit put upon over a certain issue at work. I promptly felt very guilty for saying it, and haven't been able to get it out of mind since - ridiculous really. I won't bore you all with the details but the whole situation has come about because I say yes too readily. I need to learn to be less of a people pleaser!
    I'm not feeling too fab this week - I'm tired (even though I can't sleep!), full of aches and pains, and my weight loss has stalled. I'm having one of those weeks where I look awful in whatever I put on and I can't get my hair or makeup right. I started the week feeling so positive too! Ah well - I'll soon pick myself up again!
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 16th Jun 17, 10:40 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Good morning lovely ladies...

    Thanks for all your support. I slept really well last night and feel much better this morning.

    Went for a routine check up this morning and surprise surprise my blood pressure was high. But I explained what was going on and the nurse said but that i had done the right thing and that my blood pressure should soon come down again as the stress levels fall.

    Ellsbel - sorry to hear about your work problems. Must be very stressful for you. Do take care and take time out for you.

    It really is crucial that we look after our health......as they say in ASDA "when it's gone, it's gone".

    Prevention is better than cure and if that means learning to take care of our own needs then that's What we must do. It's not selfish, it's common sense.

    Lainey.....can't wait to hear about the horse.
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 16th Jun 17, 2:51 PM
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    Ellsbel
    Thanks LL. I felt really upbeat earlier in the week but really miserable now! I've been offered a new role. It suits me down to the ground and it's very rare for me to be in the right place at the right time! However I've been told by a colleague that everyone is very annoyed about it
    Also there's something I usually do because no one else wants to, that I'll no longer be able to so readily agree to, because I'll not have the time.
    This has also gone down like a lead balloon.
    I wish I was thick skinned enough not to care, but I do care and I'm quite hurt; I've never in my life resented anyone having a stroke of good fortune or being offered something I haven't, so I'm finding this quite upsetting, especially as I like working in this place and don't want to feel like I've caused a lot of upset.
    I reckon my blood pressure is up at the moment too!


    ETA: sorry; I said I wouldn't bore with the details but needed to vent a bit - I did try to keep it a brief as poss!!
    Last edited by Ellsbel; 16-06-2017 at 2:53 PM.
    • Floss
    • By Floss 16th Jun 17, 3:00 PM
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    Floss
    Ellsbel you haven't caused the upset, it has been created by management. If your colleagues are in a funk because you're lucky enough to be given a new role, they should take a look at why they weren't given the job. And they are now panicking because they are going to have to do the task nobody wants now you can't do it.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 16th Jun 17, 3:54 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Ellsbel. Vent away. Lord knows I had a right old rant the other day. Don't bottle it up, holding in the pain and anger only hurts us more in the end. Think of your blood pressure. so by all means come on here and let off steam. It's our safe place.

    And Of course you have not bored us with the details. I am just sorry that what should be a happy time for you has been spoilt by the behaviour of your colleagues. And of course you care, thick skinned or not, such behaviour is always hurtful.

    I think One of the reasons why I was finally able to break with my sister is because I have been reading various physchology websites and a couple of nice blogs. I have been learning how to let go of the hurt and pain and even how to make my anger work for me rather than eating away at me.

    I was recommended a book called "The Princessa - Machiavelli for Women". By Harriet Rubin. Basically it's about how to get what you want but without resorting to copying men. It's a more feminine approach using our own special skills. I think it was written as a business book but I think it applies just as much in our personal relationships

    All this reading and thinking made the scales fall from my eyes, made me see the truths I preferred to ignore and made me realise I have every right to be happy.

    If that means That I upset a few people such as my sister and her family along the way then tough..... I am done with people pleasing, giving in for the sake of peace and a quiet life. I don't have to follow anyone's agenda or fit in or stroke their ego. And I am certainly not going to let my sister walk all over me.

    She's done what she's done. Legally I can't touch her and she knows it. So now she has to pay the price. She gets all the money she can get her grubby little hands on but she forfeits me in the process. She can't have both.

    Ellsbel. Don't let them undermine you and spoil your success. It's Sour grapes. There is nothing so ugly as the green eyed monster (jealousy, envy).

    So hold your head high and be fabulous. Dress for success and glide through your workplace like the queen you are. Let them mutter and mumble and be annoyed. You were chosen because you were the best. As Floss says they need to work out how to improve their own performance rather than try and drag you down.

    When do you start.
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 16th Jun 17, 4:37 PM
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    Ellsbel
    Thanks so much Floss and LL - I needed some kind words
    Logically I know you're both right; I've not deliberately sought to tread on any toes and I'd hate to have the mindset that would make me huddle resentfully behind someone else's back if something nice happened to them; it's just a bit hurtful to find that's what's been happening. On the surface this seems such a friendly place to work but it would appear that it IS just on the surface and underneath it's very much everyone being out for themselves.
    Spookily, I too have been googling psychology sites too, to teach myself some tactics to help rise above stuff like this. I've given a lot of years and time to caring for others and putting them first - always being there for husband and kids, and for my parents whilst both went through periods of ill health. I regret none of it of course, but it meant a lot to me to land this job and have a reason to smarten up and a sense of purpose; even better was the fact that it added a new, and independent side to my social life - it's come as a bit of a blow to see some people in their true light but as you say LL, I must learn to rise above it - I've really not done anything wrong. The book you mention sounds very interesting.
    I start the new role in a couple of weeks - hopefully everyone will have got over their anger by then!

    Thanks for listening ladies x
    Last edited by Ellsbel; 16-06-2017 at 4:40 PM.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 16th Jun 17, 9:29 PM
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    chanie
    elsbell congratulations on the new role.
    I think that everyone in every workplace are out for themselves, no matter how friendly it seems. I work in HR and see a lot of staffing issues. Because we may see our colleagues more than we see our families, we become involved in each other's lives, but it's normally a fickle relationship, which is easily rocked. I don't think it's personal - if your colleagues weren't annoyed with you, it would have been someone else..
    2017 challenge to save £800
    Savings on purchases £513.62
    June food budget - £130(groceries) £30 (Costco)
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4327401ht
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Jun 17, 8:04 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Good morning lovely ladies........

    It's a new dawn and a new day and I really am feeling good. I slept really well and feel tons better. So I am throwing away the pain and turmoil of last week and I am starting anew. (again!!! ).

    Last evening I went out with some close friends, had a lovely time. Of course they know all about "Sistergate" and have been so supportive and helpful. (The husband is something of a father figure to my boys and since my husbands death the wife has been more like a sister than a friend). They have been more family to me than my real family were. So just what I needed last night.

    BTW. To cut a long story short, I have decided to buy DS2s house.

    After all the searching and dilly dallying around........

    He is moving in with his girlfriend for a while and, assuming all goes well, they will sell her house and buy a property together.

    I am more than happy to remain here for another year or so. I will pay him a bit less than market value but he will still walk away with a nice chunk of equity to use as a deposit. We avoid a lot of fees and expenses and it will be a nice swift transaction for him so he can get on with his new life with his girl.

    The area suits me well, we have nice neighbours, we have practically rebuilt the house so we know it's in good order, it's warm and cosy. The only real drawback is that it does have a very steep staircase typical of old Victorian houses so it can never be my forever home but it should be ok for another year or two.

    So there you go ......I've finally made a decision. It should work well. The area is being regenerated and is quite "up and coming" as the estate agents would say. It's a great location in terms of access to shops, buses and amenities. A taxi into the city is just £5 so perfect for when I don't want to drive.

    For the last few years it has become more gentrified and property values are rising nicely so there will stiill be some profit in this one for me when I'm ready to sell.

    I think I will stay here and skip the "interim move" I had planned. Then when I'm ready I will look for a nice low maintenance City centre apartment. And it is so nice To see DS2 settling down and being so happy.

    My work is done. Definitely a new era. I'm as free as a bird, just need to decide what to do with my new freedom. A bit of travel, maybe back to school to learn a language or some new skills, new hobbies, maybe a little business or some voluntary work. Who knows.

    Anyway it Looks like we are in for some nice wearher and the muse is upon me. I feel creative so I am going to start painting the dining chairs. I can work outside.

    Hope you all Have a lovely weekend.
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 17th Jun 17, 8:46 AM
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    Ellsbel
    Thanks for the congrats, chanie, and for the very wise words
    I'm adopting the mantra that if they're talking about me, then at least they're leaving everyone else alone

    LL what a great idea to buy DS' house Seems to make perfect sense; sounds like a beautiful place, too
    Having such good friends is a real blessing and the tone of your posts seems so much lighter since you've decided to draw a line under relations with your sister.
    I love hearing about your plans so please keep us updated on your travel, learning and other ideas; the world is your Lobster
    Have a good weekend everyone, whatever you're doing
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Jun 17, 11:41 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Thanks Ellsbel

    Well done on your new mantra.....let them talk.

    Yes I feel happier and more relaxed than I have in a long time.

    And giving myself this painting project will help me focus on something positive.

    now that DS2 is moving out I can "feminise" the house a bit more and shabby chic to my hearts content and put my own personal stamp on everything. I'm going to go a bit more "girly" and French chic.

    I Shall move Into his bedroom which is the biggest and I shall have loads of wardrobe space - two whole bedrooms worth all to myself.

    He is going to decorate his bedroom for me before he officially moves out so I'm looking forward to choosing colours. I have bought a cheap chandelier, brand new but £10 from a charity shop. I found some cheap fake pearl and crystal necklaces in another charity shop so I shall canabalise those and make myself a totally over the top decadent chandelier.

    I had my health review yesterday. I am officially no longer diabetic. .

    So onwards and upwards.

    Right, coffee break over, back to work.......

    Hope you are all having a lovely weekend.
    • LaineyT
    • By LaineyT 17th Jun 17, 11:58 AM
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    LaineyT
    Many congratulations on the new job Ellsbel think it says far more about your jealous colleagues that they have behaved this way, rise above it all m'dear and hold your head up high.
    What a cracking idea LL and what a great project to get your teeth into in making the house entirely "yours". I have feminised our home as far as possible whilst taking my DOH's feelings into account . I picked up a fab book for peanuts on Am*zon called The English Country Cottages, it shows the interiors of various country homes and has given me a number of ideas to implement in our own cottage, not just ourselves that need fabbing
    It's very warm here today, I was in W8rose by 7.30am to pick up the few bits we need and baking a lemon sponge by 9am to avoid a hot kitchen. All jobs now done and I am relaxing, reading and catching up on the world. I have on a cool linen dress, years old and fabulously soft so perfect for this weather, toes are painted, legs smooth but haven't reapplied make-up after my shower as don't intend going out again and like to give my face a 'rest'. I do have Green People's factor 30 moisturiser on though.
    Happy weekend everyone x
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 18th Jun 17, 5:22 PM
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    Ellsbel
    Thanks Lainey hope you're enjoying the weekend
    • chanie
    • By chanie 21st Jun 17, 10:47 AM
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    • 7,227 Thanks
    chanie
    Hi Fabbers,


    I hope you are all well.


    I'm working from home today as I have a meeting off site, which isn't too far from home. Other than that, things are good with me.


    I'm struggling with summer clothes, in that I don't have enough of them, particularly for work. As our weather is such a mixture, I found that summer clothes often sat unworn in my wardrobe, so I tend not to think too much about the summer wear. I think I'll have to buy a few more bits and pieces.
    2017 challenge to save £800
    Savings on purchases £513.62
    June food budget - £130(groceries) £30 (Costco)
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4327401ht
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 21st Jun 17, 1:01 PM
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    Ellsbel
    I'm struggling too chanie; I've bought a few lightweight tops that are suitable for work but I don't have much to wear on days off when it's warm; I'm at home now so I'm wearing a vest and some animal print cotton trousers - sort of fancy jogging bottoms - I'm going out for coffee later though so will need to get changed.
    Not much else to report at the moment. Hope you're all managing ok in the heatwave
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 21st Jun 17, 1:29 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Hello lovely ladies.

    It's the solstice today. How the year is racing by. I will sit out in the garden tonight and raise a toast.........

    Had to smile about the "what to wear in this heat". It's difficult because we are just not used to it. And like you say we might not have much in the way of summer clothing because we don't need it that often. and when we do it's usually only for a few days at a time .........

    It's always interesting to see how people in hot climates dress. I have noticed they don't actually strip off the way we do. Perhaps they don't need to because they are used to heat. Although I have read somewhere that keeping covered up in lightweight, light coloured pure cottons and linens keeps us cooler than exposing flesh. The fabric does "mop up the sweat". Sorry. so that helps keeps us cooler.......

    Problem is pure linen tends to crease and of course its the very devil to iron.

    I have been a bit up and down this week.

    "Divorcing" my sister has hit me hard, I've been a bit panicky and weepy a couple of times. However sad it is, I know It will be better in the long run if I remain firm and resolute. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

    Theres only so much pain and sorrow we can take and I've decided that I've experienced quite enough. Family rifts are hard but sometimes we have no real choice but to just cut loose. Still feel a bit stressed about it all but at least my blood pressure is coming down at last.

    She's just not worth me having a stroke or a cardiac arrest .......so I'm adamant that there will be no turning back or letting her off the hook. I've given in so many times but not this time.

    My knee is bothering me rather a lot too which doesn't help. I will have an MRI scan on Saturday.

    I have instructed the solicitor to get cracking on buying DS2s house, she reckons it will be very straightforward and shouldn't take long at all.

    I'm firmly back on the paleo now. It's been 3days and I'm feeling better already.

    Slow but steady progress.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 21-06-2017 at 1:46 PM.
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 21st Jun 17, 2:04 PM
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    Ellsbel
    Well done on sticking to the eating plan, LL. Sorry that your knee is troubling you still, and that Sistergate has had such an impact on you emotionally; it's bound to hurt, even while feeling relief that you've made a stand for yourself.... I know it's on a much lesser scale but after being quite upset last week at the way some colleagues were behaving over the job move, I determined to put a front on and not let anyone see that I felt guilty or upset about them telling me how annoyed they are at the "bad management" (this being the fact that I've been moved, not them).
    Today though, I heard a couple of them still complaining to each other about it again, and felt really cheesed off all over again; I'm also a bit worried that they'll moan so much the boss will change their decision, and I'm actually quite looking forward to the change.
    I'm trying to tell myself "this will pass", hopefully you can stand firm too, LL and in time be able to put sis out of your thoughts; she's made her bed, as they say...
    • chanie
    • By chanie 21st Jun 17, 3:53 PM
    • 1,538 Posts
    • 7,227 Thanks
    chanie
    LL Your decision will be easier in time and as you said, your health comes first.


    Ellsbell I suggest speaking with your managers about your colleagues - they really need to support you. Your colleagues will get over it and they'll soon be moaning about something else.


    Going back to the point about how to dress for the heat, I totally agree with LL that Europeans dress better and was thinking exactly the same thing. I've been people watching recently, to try and get some inspiration, but I'm seeing the following:
    - ill fitting vest tops with ill fitting bras
    - maxi dresses (most Europeans don't wear these) even though I wear them myself, they generally aren't flattering.
    - cheap cotton dresses which are badly made and you can see VPLs and lumps and bumps.


    What I've seen that works:
    - natural materials like cotton, linen, silk
    - semi-structured items (unstructured can look cheap - so something with a bit of give but still cool and comfortable)
    - smart sandals, not cheap flip flops. Plus pedicure and nail varnish.
    2017 challenge to save £800
    Savings on purchases £513.62
    June food budget - £130(groceries) £30 (Costco)
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4327401ht
    • Ellsbel
    • By Ellsbel 21st Jun 17, 4:03 PM
    • 457 Posts
    • 4,276 Thanks
    Ellsbel
    You're right chanie - I've either got to talk it through, or else I've got to put up and shut up until they move on to something else.

    You're so, so right about summer wear and what works and what doesn't - those who get it right simply ooze class and style. When I reach my goal weight I've promised myself a style makeover and I'm going to really study the dos and don'ts before I reinvent myself

    Off to coffee date now - wearing pale blue cotton shirt, navy linen Capri trousers and white ballet pumps
    • Floss
    • By Floss 21st Jun 17, 8:22 PM
    • 3,597 Posts
    • 27,535 Thanks
    Floss
    Chanie I completely agree - I have a very cute Italian linen/jersey knee length dress that is really comfy and fits the smart/casual brief too. I have a couple of w dresses, one is a phase Eight which is more smart, the others are more casual. For smarter office/meetings I have several linen shift dresses in navy or teal, which I wear with wedges sandals.
    • LaineyT
    • By LaineyT 22nd Jun 17, 9:04 AM
    • 1,340 Posts
    • 15,551 Thanks
    LaineyT
    I concur with Chanie Ellsbel that the best thing would be to talk it over with your manager, you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable at work? btw your outfit for the coffee date sounded tres chic
    LL might sound daft but think you should allow yourself time to 'grieve' for the relationship with your sister, it's bound to hit you hard irrespective of the fact you know it's for the best, please take care of you.
    Hmm, some of the sights have seen over the last few days of hot weather, less said the better
    Personally I find that dresses are the best way to go to keep cool, on the knee for me as don't like to show too much leg, in a jersey cotton. I have made the most of the summer sales that have started and ordered three more, two plain and smarter patterned one which I have in mind for when we go horse racing next month.
    Last edited by LaineyT; 22-06-2017 at 11:19 AM. Reason: Addition
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