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  • FIRST POST
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 27th Dec 16, 7:03 PM
    • 10,126Posts
    • 26,007Thanks
    benbenandme
    Ready to do it all over again ...
    • #1
    • 27th Dec 16, 7:03 PM
    Ready to do it all over again ... 27th Dec 16 at 7:03 PM
    Hello, thank you for popping by

    I have been a regular on the debt free diaries board for years as well as dipping in here at times. I did join in Tallgirls Mortgage Free in 3 Challenge several years ago and have had several diaries over the years. This is the first time I've had one here though despite never actually being in debt I always felt it could happen oh so easily so treated myself as if I was a dfw.

    So, 2017 and my new diary here ...

    I have lived in my lovely flat with my ds (13) for the last 9 years and finally it looks as though we will be moving in the new year. I have sold my flat to a cash buyer and have had an offer accepted on a 2 bed little house. I will probably put stuff into storage and stay with my Mum for a few weeks while the house goes through as my buyers are very keen to complete asap and I don't want to risk losing them as I have already had one sale fall through due to brexit.

    Normally at this point between Christmas and New Year I begin planning my aims for the coming year, setting goals - usually financial related, and generally getting everything organised ready to tackle whatever I have planned. This normally is a £££ goal to knock off the mortgage etc.

    This year however everything is a bit unknown as I can't predict how much I can save etc at this point. But what I can do is take stock of exactly where I'm at now and make lists, I do like lists , of things I need to do to make as many pennies as possible / minimise spends where possible.
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
Page 33
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 11th Sep 17, 8:45 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    It won't win any culinary awards Beanie, but sometimes you just need comfort food
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • amber03
    • By amber03 11th Sep 17, 9:04 PM
    • 784 Posts
    • 4,565 Thanks
    amber03
    Starting to love Mondays, changed my hours in work and now have Mondays off. Today was spent at the zoo with DGD. Three day weekend love it.x
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £106.25


    WOMBLER 2017 NO. 5 £7.20
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 12th Sep 17, 6:01 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    £6 withdrawn from a survey site, inching a bit nearer to my monthly aim for my brothers fund

    A better day at work today although ds had a huge meltdown this morning as he dropped a bowl of Shreddies. It resulted in him having the day off school as he was in huge meltdown mode, whacking his head against a wall and then crying, sat rocking in the corner of the room. I ended up dropping him at Mums

    Bath is done already, tonight will be spent chilling
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • Betterthanever
    • By Betterthanever 12th Sep 17, 7:20 PM
    • 181 Posts
    • 655 Thanks
    Betterthanever
    Bah to the bad day but hurrah for a chilled evening and free money x
    Former DFW Need 230. Determined to be MF.
    Current balance £116,878.11. Offset £1034.
    end date - 03/29 aiming for 10/22

    Bring it on!
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 12th Sep 17, 9:23 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    £5 withdrawn from another survey site
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • Betterthanever
    • By Betterthanever 13th Sep 17, 7:41 AM
    • 181 Posts
    • 655 Thanks
    Betterthanever
    Excellent....I'm hoping for a similar report later today. Have a good one!
    Former DFW Need 230. Determined to be MF.
    Current balance £116,878.11. Offset £1034.
    end date - 03/29 aiming for 10/22

    Bring it on!
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 16th Sep 17, 8:45 AM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Last night was a great night footie wise, three points for us

    Today ds and I are going on a train, he wants to do some filming at the station, I'll visit the shopping centre and then we'll have lunch and come home later

    I do have housework and surveys to do a bit later too
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 16th Sep 17, 4:03 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    So ds has had yet another huge meltdown, I'm shattered. I can't keep going like this. I'm ringing Camhs on monday morning (again) not that I think it will do much but somewhere there must be some help available
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th Sep 17, 7:21 PM
    • 47,244 Posts
    • 169,815 Thanks
    beanielou
    Is there not an out of hours number that you can ring?
    There does seem to be a great lack of support
    Try to take care of you too.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Pooky
    • By Pooky 16th Sep 17, 7:52 PM
    • 6,698 Posts
    • 41,251 Thanks
    Pooky
    Sorry to hear about the melt down, is there anything in particular that sets him off? Hope you can get some support on this x
    "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 16th Sep 17, 8:02 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Even when I ring on monday they won't actually 'do' anything, they just log it on his file so it shows a history for his next appointment. He only has another appointment because the waiting list he's been put on for help is so long that he won't be seen for approx 18 months that they offer follow-up appointments in the meantime. It is a waste of time tbh, but I need to go to it. Sorry if I sound negative but I've seen so many others go through it from kids I've referred at school

    Todays trigger went like this: ds wanted to go to another town to watch trains, then realised this morning he hadn't charged his camcorder. He didn't melt down about that though, we charged it and then went to a local train spot after lunch. All was going fine until a train came along and he didn't have time to switch the camera on to film it and it had whooshed past before he was ready. It wasn't even a special train, it was the bog standard local stopping service that goes each hour

    He then walked off, text me saying he wasn't coming back, took about 45 minutes to find him and get him to come back to the car, then on the way home he decided to take his seatbelt off and refused to put it back on. I pulled into a car park and said I wouldn't drive without his belt on, he got out and said he was walking home. This all happened with him yelling at me / swearing at me / telling me I'm not even his mother / he's going to live with his Dad etc etc ... When he got home he went straight to his room and he finally came down here about 10 minutes ago. He said sorry, I asked him for what? and he said for existing, for making everyone so miserable, for being alive, for not having killed himself yet.

    And so it goes on ....
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th Sep 17, 8:31 PM
    • 47,244 Posts
    • 169,815 Thanks
    beanielou
    Not good
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Pooky
    • By Pooky 16th Sep 17, 8:35 PM
    • 6,698 Posts
    • 41,251 Thanks
    Pooky
    Did you manage to get him to the GP about some help with his emotional and mental health?

    Sounds like he's really struggling. Has he seen his Dad lately? Is Dad aware of the meltdowns?

    I've no idea what to suggest but if you need to vent then please do x
    "Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 16th Sep 17, 8:41 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Yep we went to the gp last week, she said "You're under Camhs, there's nothing more we can do, you need to wait for your next appointment"

    His Dad is fully aware and doesn't say anything. If I date mention it he says that he never sees any of that when he's with him and that maybe it's me

    I have been trying to talk to him, he says it wasn't about the train but that he's feeling angry about something I've done but he can't tell me what that is. He often says he's angry that he was born / that we had him, so I'm guessing that is what I've done wrong He's not sorry at all for today, he still seems quite wound up so I've left him watching tv downstairs and have come upstairs with the laptop. I need a break from him right now.
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 16th Sep 17, 8:52 PM
    • 47,244 Posts
    • 169,815 Thanks
    beanielou
    I am so sorry that I cannot think of anything else to suggest.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 17th Sep 17, 9:22 AM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Morning all, an ebay item has sold overnight so that's £3 into the pot and I have also claimed a £5 amazon voucher from swagbucks

    Hoping today is a better day
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 17th Sep 17, 12:10 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Food shopping done, I had a £9 off £60 shop coupon for Sainsburys, I had a rough idea how much I'd spent and it came to £60.80 in total before the coupon, so £51.80 after. I also bought 3 items that I can claim the money back from Shopmium, (£5.40), so in effect I actually spent £46.40 This included some biscuits to put away in my xmas stash, a nice deodorant for ds stiocking and the dogs advent calendar

    The cupboards and fridge are looking full again and should last the week. So far this month things are going well with the budget, next month might be a bit trickier as there is ha;f-term in there which means more money usually

    The plan for the rest of today involves:
    • Complete all surveys from inbox
    • Ironing
    • Hoover through
    • Parcel up ebay package for posting tomorrow
    • Ds homework
    • Roast dinner
    • Submit shopmium claim
    • Look online for Mums birthday present
    • Meal plan for the week
    • Some schoolwork
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • michelle09
    • By michelle09 17th Sep 17, 2:46 PM
    • 266 Posts
    • 782 Thanks
    michelle09
    So sorry, it's sounds like a really difficult time.

    Hope that today is a much better day.

    Someone else already shopping for Christmas, not just me!
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 17th Sep 17, 9:37 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Hmm, the day didn't go to plan, he had another wobbly ... my bestie came and saved the day for me. He has now lost his phone, and is on very strict instructions to do as he's told or he will be going to stay at hers and she is much stricter than I am I love her to bits, she's amazing

    Anyway, the ironing got done, baths got done, homework got done. The roast went out the window, I ended up sticking the beef in the oven and we'll eat it cold tomorrow night
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 17th Sep 17, 9:39 PM
    • 10,126 Posts
    • 26,007 Thanks
    benbenandme
    I did take Mum to the garden centre before itall went pear-shaped, she got various Christmas bits. I just bought two plants, one for the downstairs loo and one for the conservatory, total cost £7.50
    Mortgage Total: £75,000 £73,738 Mortgage End Date: May 2040
    Brother's loan: £2998 / £30,000
    Holiday Fund: £400 / £1400
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