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  • FIRST POST
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 27th Dec 16, 6:03 PM
    • 9,835Posts
    • 25,185Thanks
    benbenandme
    Ready to do it all over again ...
    • #1
    • 27th Dec 16, 6:03 PM
    Ready to do it all over again ... 27th Dec 16 at 6:03 PM
    Hello, thank you for popping by

    I have been a regular on the debt free diaries board for years as well as dipping in here at times. I did join in Tallgirls Mortgage Free in 3 Challenge several years ago and have had several diaries over the years. This is the first time I've had one here though despite never actually being in debt I always felt it could happen oh so easily so treated myself as if I was a dfw.

    So, 2017 and my new diary here ...

    I have lived in my lovely flat with my ds (13) for the last 9 years and finally it looks as though we will be moving in the new year. I have sold my flat to a cash buyer and have had an offer accepted on a 2 bed little house. I will probably put stuff into storage and stay with my Mum for a few weeks while the house goes through as my buyers are very keen to complete asap and I don't want to risk losing them as I have already had one sale fall through due to brexit.

    Normally at this point between Christmas and New Year I begin planning my aims for the coming year, setting goals - usually financial related, and generally getting everything organised ready to tackle whatever I have planned. This normally is a £££ goal to knock off the mortgage etc.

    This year however everything is a bit unknown as I can't predict how much I can save etc at this point. But what I can do is take stock of exactly where I'm at now and make lists, I do like lists , of things I need to do to make as many pennies as possible / minimise spends where possible.
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
Page 10
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 27th Feb 17, 6:48 PM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Had the day off today, woke up and was sick this morning, then felt a bit better. Managed to get out of bed and potter about for a couple of hours, did some washing etc as it was getting out of control as I hadn't done much over the weekend, then fell asleep about 11 and slept til ds came home from school I do feel quite a bit better now though, have just had a bath and now it's just a really annoying tickly cough, the sore throat seems to have gone although I took painkillers about an hour ago so maybe it's just masking it.

    Hopefully I'll be back at work tomorrow as long as I get a decent nights sleep tonight. I reckon I've had a weeks worth of sleep in the last three days
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • blackcatsx2
    • By blackcatsx2 27th Feb 17, 7:04 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 453 Thanks
    blackcatsx2
    Benben - sounds horrid, don't rush back to work. You'll need to build your strength up if you haven't been eating.
    Well, my buyers have now played the card that says "we want some money off the price because the survey says x, y and z". I was expecting it but they have asked for a LOT of money off. They employ quite high pressure tactics, when they made the offer they demanded I accept it within the hour and cancel the 4 viewings that were lined up for later that day. I'm so cross with them but I am trying not to react immediately and not to be bulled by them .
    Thanks to the restorative power of a shepherds pie and a glass of elderflower cordial (no wine on a work night) I feel ready to think about the proposals rationally but I do know they are not having the amount of money reduction that they've asked for - cheeky things!
    So I think it's safe to say I will be in third place in the 3 horse race to exchange contracts!!
    Hope things progress for you this week Benben
    Sorry for the hijack of your thread
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 2nd Mar 17, 7:59 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    So my buyers solicitors have decided there's yet another question they've suddenly thought about that needs my freeholders solicitor to answer ... not sure how long this will take

    In other news I was off work on Monday, went back in Tuesday, managed half a day yesterday then came home and am off work again today. It has now developed into a horrible chest infection, so I'm constantly coughing, all congested, feeling utterly yuck, so having another resting day today

    My solicitor has now sent me my contract to sign,I didnt even have the energy to read it last night but will try and get it signed and returned today. Beyond fed up of waiting now
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • blackcatsx2
    • By blackcatsx2 2nd Mar 17, 6:16 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 453 Thanks
    blackcatsx2
    I'm sorry you are so poorly - you need to rest! The selling process is so drawn out isn't it? Hopefully your buyer's question can be answered quickly. I've taken "time out" for this week as I was so cross at my buyers outrageous request for a huge amount of price reduction. I need to think calmly and clearly and I can't do that while I'm trying to work. I was in danger of cutting off my nose to spite my face and telling them to get lost, or words to that effect.
    Anyway, hope that you start to get better soon, look after yourself.
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 2nd Mar 17, 7:26 PM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Thanks Blackcats, I need to switch off from the house stuff for a bit too, it's too stressful. I have rested all day and not spoken at all, then my best mate phoned tonight, I chatted to her for about half an hour and now have no voice again

    I'm going in tomorrow but only because it's friday, so at least I then get two more days off
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 4th Mar 17, 6:57 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    I got through Friday at work, feel on the mend at last but really struggling at night as I cough so much. 5 pillows last night eventually did the trick

    So, this weekend - I'll mainly be taking it easy to help recover some more. Today is housework and watching footie, tesco shopping coming at lunchtime, not sure about tomorrow yet.
    • Clear surveys
    • Banking
    • Clear washing
    • Ironing
    • Clean bathroom
    • Clean kitchen
    • Clean lounge
    • Clean my room
    • Clean ds bedroom
    • Clean rubbish out of car
    • Trip to the tip
    • Ds homework battle
    • Collect parcel
    • BIL's birthday present - buy and deliver
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 4th Mar 17, 8:03 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Washing machine is on, dishwasher is on, all washing / washing up is by the rightful machine waiting it's turn. A big pile of stuff waiting to be ironed on the dining table, two bin liners filled with rubbish the place was a bombsite as I haven't felt up to doing anything this week. Most of it was very superficial but just a quick 15 minutes and it's already starting to look like normal again All the windows are wide open, germs can go, fresh air in
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 4th Mar 17, 10:39 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    It was such a nice morning we decided to take the dog down the beach for a bit. It was gorgeous down there, certainly blew the cobwebs away Home now, waiting for the tesco man to come and then the footie to start
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 5th Mar 17, 8:45 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Well, yesterdays game turned out to be rather interesting, not particularly enjoyable to watch at the time but on reflection we did really well and I'm over the moon with a point despite some very very dodgy refereeing

    I did get very sleepy in the afternoon and had a nice nap, the washing machine has done three loads so far and will probably do another one today. The ironing pile is building nicely

    Today I need to go to the tip, collect a parcel, cook a roast dinner, do the ironing, sort BIL's birthday present and deliver, and then potter.

    I've had my bath, I had a much better nights sleep last night (at last!), I am still quite congested but definitely on the mend now.
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • gallygirl
    • By gallygirl 5th Mar 17, 9:04 AM
    • 16,266 Posts
    • 106,420 Thanks
    gallygirl
    Well, yesterdays game turned out to be rather interesting, not particularly enjoyable to watch at the time but on reflection we did really well and I'm over the moon with a point despite some very very dodgy refereeing
    Originally posted by benbenandme
    Was thinking about you at the time - nice one .
    Save
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    Mortgage Balance = £0
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 5th Mar 17, 11:01 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Parcel collected, rubbish taken to the tip, birthday present bought, dog walked, now to have a rest on the sofa for a bit as I'm worn out again
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • Alisonpennypincher
    • By Alisonpennypincher 10th Mar 17, 7:10 PM
    • 380 Posts
    • 1,900 Thanks
    Alisonpennypincher
    Hello BBaM

    Hoping that you are recovered and feeling much better?

    I'm a bit of a lurker, but have been reading with interest as we are hoping to move soon too.

    Hoping you've had some good news there too?!
    • blackcatsx2
    • By blackcatsx2 10th Mar 17, 7:28 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 453 Thanks
    blackcatsx2
    Hello Benben (andAlison) hope all is well. I'm in the negotiating a new price phase with my purchasers - aargh is all I can say, so frustrating, trying to be grown up and look to the bigger picture but it's not easy. Well done to Bournemouth by the way - a great point. outrageous FA decisions on the bans though. Loved the Barcelona game and the Arsenal game although that's not very sporting of me!
    • tigzem
    • By tigzem 11th Mar 17, 6:09 AM
    • 2,320 Posts
    • 3,528 Thanks
    tigzem
    Any news on the house?
    "Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little." Edmund Burke
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 14th Mar 17, 11:32 AM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Sorry for being awol for a bit - so you know how life has a habit of throwing curveballs, well I've pretty much been run over by a dumper truck

    So ... no news on an exchange as yet, still waiting for the buyers solicitor to pull their finger out. But more importantly than that everything else has gone so so wrong in the last week ...

    I haven't been happy at work for a while, unhappy with the expectations, the way the new head is running things and I had planned to stay about another year and then once the move had happened and we were settled to start looking for something else. Well, as you know ds has asd and struggles with his behaviour and always has done (Tigz will vouch for that ), anyway, last week he thumped another kid in his class There is no justification for it whatsoever, he is utterly in the wrong and I am not supporting his actions one tiny bit, however, he receives absolutely no support from sen whatsoever despite being entitled to support. School have admitted they have let him down here. However ultimately he is on the verge of being permanently excluded. I know, because I've seen it happen to so many others, that they want him back in and they will provide support before doing a managed move to another school. This means they tick their box for ofsted that they have put some support in place. It's too little, too late, the decision is basically already made.

    I'm not coping, I've been signed off for two weeks as I am struggling to know what the hell to do as well as finding my position at school untenable. I have an interview on thursday for a 12 hour a week supermarket job which would mean I could tell them to stuff their job. But I still need to decide what to do with ds. I basically have three choices:

    (a) managed move to local school, the worst school in our area, ds would only know 2 people there, both had managed moves from our school and are not the students I would want him mixing with whatsoever.

    (b) another localish school, would be awkward for getting him there/back but could be just about manageable. Would know one boy, again another one that was moves that I wouldn't want him near.

    (c) home educating him - I have enough teacher friends who could support me with this and I think being out of a school environment that he has hated since reception may help him with his anger / behaviour issues. However there is the worry that he may refuse to engage with work etc and I would be stuck on my own with it, plus theres the financial aspect of paying for exams etc.

    Life's truly !!!! sometimes ....
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • Alisonpennypincher
    • By Alisonpennypincher 14th Mar 17, 4:41 PM
    • 380 Posts
    • 1,900 Thanks
    Alisonpennypincher
    Hi BB,

    So sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, I wish I could offer wise words of advice but all I can offer is a virtual hug.

    Could you not approach the Governors as I know this can sometimes result in more action being taken? As you work at the school could you not persuade them to work with DS whilst leaving him where he is? I'm sure you have thought of all this, sorry.

    If going to work in a supermarket would make you happier/less stressed then go for it!

    Hope you get some good house news soon. Keep your chin up BB

    X
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 14th Mar 17, 5:48 PM
    • 45,763 Posts
    • 160,435 Thanks
    beanielou
    Sorry to hear this.
    Is your DS too young to get even a part time place at college which would tick the boxes for education? Remind me how old he is?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • TallGirl
    • By TallGirl 14th Mar 17, 5:52 PM
    • 3,947 Posts
    • 8,202 Thanks
    TallGirl
    Sorry to hear that BenBen must be so hard and being on your own guessing the ex isn't much help. Homeschooling is a huge step not that I have any experience of it and as for changing jobs do you think that would make you happy long term? Would you not miss the challenge of work and using your skills more fully? Hard one also the finances obviously but again you have to do what's best for the two of you. I would try and put pressure on the school as you work there if you can use any contacts you have not my area of expertise unfortunately.

    Hugs and take care.
    • benbenandme
    • By benbenandme 14th Mar 17, 9:27 PM
    • 9,835 Posts
    • 25,185 Thanks
    benbenandme
    Thanks all, he's not yet old enough for a college place - he's in year 9 at the moment so two years to go at school. He could, if home schooled, do a work placement somewhere though, a voluntary one to do with trains would be ideal.

    There is not point trying to go through the governors or even working with the school, I have seen too many kids on this path and it only ever ends one way, the new head basically doesn't tolerate any kid who doesn't totally value their education and thank the Lord everyday for having the opportunity to come to school. In an ideal world all kids would be like this but I do wonder sometimes why he is in education and if he has met 98% of our students

    Tonight I've had a good chat with Mum and she thinks the best option is the home schooling. He had huge issues with transition from KS1 to KS2 and again from KS2 to KS3, there were loads of extra visits put in place etc as he couldn't cope, so the added stress of moving school mid year 9 could be disastrous too I have told the GP I think he may be depressed, he has no interest in anything other than his transport, he rarely socialises with friends etc, has minimal interest in his appearance / hygiene etc

    The supermarket certainly isn't a life's ambition but it will remove the work stress I'm constantly under at the moment which can only be a good thing. At some point in a couple of years when his exams are done then I can find a 'proper' job again, but til then I need to make him my priority. As long as I can cover my bills then it will do I reckon.
    Beat 2016's savings total: £1370 / £8654

    10,000 Steps a Day in 2017: 197,273 / 430,000
    Aim = 3,650,000
    • dangers
    • By dangers 14th Mar 17, 9:34 PM
    • 1,391 Posts
    • 2,569 Thanks
    dangers
    Sorry to hear of the problems you are having Benben. What beanielou said rang a bell with me - one of our local colleges does vocational courses for children aged 14+. It may be worth your while investigating with your local colleges.

    Hugs to you both. X
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