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  • FIRST POST
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 13th Dec 16, 7:03 PM
    • 265Posts
    • 1,416Thanks
    JWPopps
    Flush by 30?
    • #1
    • 13th Dec 16, 7:03 PM
    Flush by 30? 13th Dec 16 at 7:03 PM
    Hello!

    I'm fairly new to MSE and have become totally obsessed with reading everyone else's diaries, so I thought I'd do one of my own! Even if no one else ever reads it, I'm hoping it will be somewhere I can rant my rants and think my thoughts without a) boring my friends and family and b) embarrassing myself in front of friends and family!

    I'm 26 (27 in March) and have had a bit of a slog to get to where I am today which I will likely go into later... basically, money has always been something other people have. So, while my debts might not seem huge, making the payments every month is stopping me from really appreciating how far I've come and how nice it is to be earning a relatively good wage.

    The above paragraph sounds a bit up myself, actually. Oh well!

    Debts:
    Barclaycard: £1465.49 (19%)
    Sainsburys card: £75 (0%)
    Barclayloan: £6,673.36 (4.9%)
    Overdraft: £485.09 (I get charges as well but not sure of the %)
    Mortgage: £88,163.97 (34 years left on it, at 3.99%)

    I'm not stressing about getting my mortgage paid off at the moment; it would be nice to be debt free and have a nice emergency fund, and maybe even a fun fund, and to be making mortgage overpayments.

    Total debt I'm worried about then: £8,698.94

    Goals for 2017:
    Pay off Barclaycard and close
    Get Sainsbury's card to 0 every month (i.e. use only for groceries)
    Pay off overdraft
    Get loan down to £3,500
    Start an Emergency Fund
    Start a Fun Fund
    Start making mortgage OPs
    Chill the heck out about my finances for the first time in 11 years!!
Page 2
    • Cheeseface
    • By Cheeseface 21st Dec 16, 11:17 AM
    • 136 Posts
    • 384 Thanks
    Cheeseface
    The plan looks good.

    Do you think that you can get your household expenses down at all?
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 21st Dec 16, 12:10 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    I personally don't have high hopes for 2017 considering brexit, trump and the current situation of the world.
    Originally posted by baaluo
    Well, when you put it like that... However, I have known since I was 11 years old and had a mega-schoolgirl-crush on my Year 6 teacher that 2017 was going to be My Year (she was 27, I'll be 27... oh, I know, it's daft) so I'm really hoping that 2016 was a blip!

    Thank you ramblehan, they're mainly teenagers - I left home at 16 so I know what it feels like to be poor and worried about where you'll sleep that night, so I don't want other young people to feel the same. And they all have to undergo a Police Check before they're allowed to come to my house, so I feel pretty safe. They're a really good charity to work with. I might consider becoming a foster carer when I'm a bit older, so it's good experience.

    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 21st Dec 16, 12:58 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    The plan looks good.

    Do you think that you can get your household expenses down at all?
    Originally posted by Cheeseface
    Hi Cheeseface

    In answer to your question... abso-bloody-lutely. Part of the reason my food bill is so high is because my mum loves buying food, and then she says 'oh, can I just ask you for £30 to pay for half the unnecessary shopping I did this week?' (or words to that effect) and I sort of sigh and give it to her. But we've had A Conversation recently about how we don't need to buy so much, and about how she should be saving for her own place and I should be paying off my debts, and also we're both big fatties so less money on food is an absolute must.

    She's agreed we can start menu planning. I fast 2 days a week so those days are dead cheap and I'm going to challenge myself to make those 2 days a week NSDs as well, AND I want to go meat-free 2 different days a week as well, so all of that should help.

    As for other bills, I'm paying £30 a month for a gym I haven't used since my hours went up at work (with my commute included I'm away from the town I live in 12 hours a day, so honestly no time for it) so that's getting cancelled next month. My phone is due for a renewal in March so I'm going sim-only, and I'm doing a review of my broadband provider/home insurance etc in the next month...

    ...so hopefully once I'm properly organised, I'll be much better off!
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 21st Dec 16, 1:42 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    Last day at work before Christmas!
    I am really lucky to work somewhere that shuts down completely over Christmas. I had a half-day booked for tomorrow as well so my boss told me not to bother coming in at all as we'll all get sent home at about 12 anyway.

    I'm on my own in the office today - and it really is an exercise in Just Being Here because none of our customers want our services at this time of year. I've answered a few e-mails, proof-read a few documents and drank about a litre of Lemsip Max... and I have the Kinks blaring out of my PC speakers so that's quite nice

    Honestly, I could nip off home and no one would notice... but I'm staying until about 2 as approved, then going to have a coffee with a friend. I'll probably end up paying for hers as well because she's having a much rougher time than me financially right now, but we'll both be on black filter coffees so they're hardly bank-breaking.

    Also, SO proud of myself that I marched straight past the Cornish Pasty Bakery this morning even though it smelled amazing and I really wanted a sausage roll. I had 2 boiled eggs when I got to work (another bonus of having the office to myself, I don't feel guilty for the smell!) and then I had a nice salad at lunch, and a Double Decker as a treat (from home).

    I had a NSD yesterday because I was fasting, so actually I'm feeling pretty good about my spending this week. And I get paid tomorrow woohoo! I'm owed £50 in expenses but it looks like I'll be waiting until end of Jan for that.

    I've made some goals for 2017:

    - Pay off my Barclaycard at the end of January.
    - Pay the balance of my 0% card by the end of April
    - April-September pay off £200 a month extra to my loan, which should make a massive difference to what I'm owed there

    I'm not panicking about savings at the moment, but I want to pay £5 a month each into two accounts, just to see the figures go up. I'll barely notice £10 a month off my salary, and although it's hardly anything in terms of an emergency fund, it will be nice to have something - it will be £120 by next Christmas, so even if I just used it to pay for presents that would be a huge benefit!

    Anyway, off to do a teeny bit more work before packing up now...
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 21st Dec 16, 11:27 PM
    • 10,450 Posts
    • 69,680 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Great goals for next year. Hope you have a great break.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 22nd Dec 16, 12:06 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    So... after our conversation the other week, 8 got home yesterday to discover my mother had been out and spent £160 on food.

    There are TWO of us for Christmas. TWO.

    There are 9 kinds of cheese in the fridge. There's a plastic crate full of stuff we wouldn't normally eat, like Pringles and Twiglets and Ritz crackers and Dairy Milk.

    Why does she do this?! I'm going away for a week over New Year as well; there is literally no reason to have bought so much food!! And although she hasn't asked me to pay for any of it of course I will need to, because this is the conversation we have nearly every time she goes 'food shopping':

    Mum: can you just send me £50 across to cover your half of the shopping?
    Me: well I can, but is it ok if we look through what we have now and don't do any more shopping this month since £50 is more than I would have budgeted?
    Mum: good idea.

    Two weeks later

    Mum: can I just have £50 to cover some of the shopping I did today?
    Me *with a brick in my stomach thinking about my overdraft*: I thought we weren't doing any more shopping this month, there was still loads in the freezer...
    Mum: well I can't afford to pay for it all.

    And it's HARD because I work in a different town to the one I live in, so I'm never home by the time she gets it into her head to go shopping, and also this is such a nice problem to have really isn't it? Someone doing my shopping for me... but I really don't know how to handle it!
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • jvr
    • By jvr 23rd Dec 16, 10:07 AM
    • 326 Posts
    • 1,142 Thanks
    jvr
    Could you try at beginning of month pop some money in a jar (both of you) and say this is ALL the money for food this month so can you spread it out and only spend this? Possibly seeing the money in there upfront might help your mum stick to that amount and feel less able to ask you for £50 all the time?


    Starting point: £9000 needed to clear debt and pay for the holiday
    Now: £1900/£9000 paid......... £7100 to go!
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 23rd Dec 16, 10:43 AM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    I'm going to have to try something like that jvr.

    The reason she lives with me at the moment is that she is in the throes of a DMP and can't really afford the deposit on a place of her own at the moment (she has recently relocated from elsewhere in the UK to be closer to me and her mum). She knows she's terrible with money to a certain extent: she's been giving me money every month to put in one of my savings accounts so she can't spend it. On 2 occasions she has insisted I give her the money so she can go on holiday but we have finally managed to get her savings to £1000. In another 3 or 4 months she should have enough for a bond and first months' rent.

    She doesn't actually agree that she spends too much on food though. We get paid about a week apart usually and I always try to go shopping with her to rein her in a bit, but she gets bored so easily. We did meal plan for a bit but that fell by the wayside because she didn't like it. I've introduced her to Jack Monroe's cookbooks and Allegra McEvedy's Economy Gastronomy, but she doesn't like to feel she's 'economising'.

    So, the Christmas thing is that she keeps thinking to herself 'oh it's Christmas.' But actually, we don't need party platters and cheese boards and posh sticky toffee puddings... I would far rather have made a dessert anyway but now there's no need for that.

    The whole situation is really emotionally charged. She can be quite passive aggressive if she thinks I'm doing something she doesn't like (for example my choice of wallpaper in my bedroom). And when I've tried to explain to her before how her own grocery blowouts affect my budget she gets very upset (like actually crying upset) and reminds me how hard it is for her to be living with her daughter at her age, and how she just wants to have nice things.

    I have two options: put up with it until May when she's due to move out, and try to moan less, or wait for January to really kick her up the bum. She got paid a week early in December, so on top of everything else she has a loooooooong month now until payday again.

    I have a budget of £120 for my grocery shopping, maybe I should give that to her when i get paid and tell her that's for all the groceries... I'll really have to have a think.
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • jvr
    • By jvr 23rd Dec 16, 11:20 AM
    • 326 Posts
    • 1,142 Thanks
    jvr
    It does sound really difficult. Almost as if all her emotions about her situation become attached to this which can make it very difficult to have a reasonable conversation. I would try hand over your total budget if she does all the shopping and maybe that will make it clear what your budget is? Or if she is so bad with money give half and say that is it until whatever date and on that date I can give you this much but that is it?
    I hope you can find a solution that works... may is a long way away and it would feel worse I am sure if bitterness built up as a result


    Starting point: £9000 needed to clear debt and pay for the holiday
    Now: £1900/£9000 paid......... £7100 to go!
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 23rd Dec 16, 12:26 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    That's really lovely and helpful, thank you SO much!!
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 23rd Dec 16, 7:08 PM
    • 10,450 Posts
    • 69,680 Thanks
    Bobarella
    I agree that I sounds a very difficult situation. I wonder if a Pre paid credit card would be an idea? You could charge it up each month and when it's gone it's gone.
    But it sounds to me like your Mum needs counselling about how she is using buying to help with difficult emotions. Im concerned that if she leaves yours and carries on the way she is her situation could become worse again.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 23rd Dec 16, 8:48 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    Hi bobarella I am a little worried about that myself... very selfishly I'm looking forward to her moving out, not because I don't enjoy her company or love her but because I lived on my own for 8 years before now, and I miss it very much.

    BUT I don't want her living beyond her means and being unhappy again. I'd like her to stay close to me (if a house came up on my street in her budget I'd be delighted) but she really wants to be out in the country, not in a terraced house.

    She's recently had a knee replacement, I'm hoping that renewed mobility might cheer her up and make her feel more optimistic about the world in general. Then maybe she wouldn't feel the need to buy so much? We'll see.
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 24th Dec 16, 9:02 AM
    • 10,450 Posts
    • 69,680 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Oh I do hope so. But maybe a quick chat with her GP would allow you to express your worries? They should care about MH issues as much as physical.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 24th Dec 16, 10:50 AM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    That's a really good idea, I'll bear that in mind and see what we can do...
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 24th Dec 16, 6:19 PM
    • 4,761 Posts
    • 28,344 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Hi JWP, does your mum work, if not would she be up for being in charge of a menu plan with a budget to stick to? Get her in the habit before she moves out. You're a fab daughter to be so caring about your mum I hope she appreciates it.
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £20.70
    December 3 NSD
    Weight loss 2/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 25th Dec 16, 9:27 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    Hi JWP, does your mum work, if not would she be up for being in charge of a menu plan with a budget to stick to? Get her in the habit before she moves out. You're a fab daughter to be so caring about your mum I hope she appreciates it.
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    She does work, but only part time at the moment - I think part of her unhappiness is because she was made redundant from a job she had been in many years and then went a whole year without work, so she took that hard emotionally. She's really good at what she does, but also she was in pain from her arthritis so I feel like she might be at the bottom of a cliff and maybe now can start climbing it.

    She hates budgets. She honestly doesn't understand why I give all my money a job at the start of every month... the thing is she used to be on really good money and now she isn't, so that's a learning curve for her.

    Thanks for your kind words, I'm not sure she always sees it that way, but we do try to help each other out so she must have done something right with me! (Although she didn't really raise me, my dad did).

    Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone! I read 3 books yesterday which was bliss, and today I've watched 3 films, been spoiled rotten by family and friends and eaten FAR too much dinner. But it was lovely. Definitely need to get back on my eating well after today...

    Hope everyone else has had a lovely day too xx
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 25th Dec 16, 9:51 PM
    • 10,450 Posts
    • 69,680 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Wow 3 books in a day, that's going some. Glad you've had a relaxing time.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 28th Dec 16, 10:38 AM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    Christmas is over now!
    Ah it was lovely. I can't complain - Christmas Eve was super relaxing, and Christmas Day as full of food and peach bellinis.

    I am very lucky to have lots of generous family and friends. I am now awash with scented candles and bath products (and there's a sign of getting older, I'm no longer disappointed by bath gift sets and instead I'm always thinking about how much money that saves me...) and I got the curtains I wanted for my living room from my adorable gran, and my expensive face creams from my mum. We basically exchanged expensive face creams, since I got hers for her...

    Last night my auntie had a family party, which is a tradition and a lovely one at that. All my favourite cousins were there, including the one who lives at the nether edge of the country now. She's my oldest friend as well as a cousin, so we always do a late present opening. I got her some Writers Tears whiskey and a little plant pot shaped like an animal that suck up water through its 'tongue'. She got me a beautiful set of short story collections called Life, Love and Loss. She knows me very well

    I go to my boyfriend's in 2 days, and will stay with him for a week as we usually have a '2nd Christmas' (like hobbits and breakfasts...) on New Years' Day, and then he will be 31 early in January so I like to be there for that.

    In terms of spending, I have not needed to spend a single penny since Friday 23rd December. Admittedly, this was only possible because of my mum's mammoth food shop, but I'm looking for silver linings here. She does seem to realise it was extravagant, and is now talking about ways to make what we have stretch (which shouldn't be a problem because the freezer is still full).

    Also, my home insurance payment went out today, and what was absolutely lovely was that I noticed in my account that £17.05 had gone out - which means my 'giving every penny a job' method is working, and I still have enough to pay the rest of my bills without going into my overdraft. As long as Mum behaves herself with the grocery shop, anyway.

    Today I am going to try for a better internet deal, because Sky have put my bill up to £24.90 a month, and as I'm already with EE for my phone I might be able to get a good deal with them...
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 31st Dec 16, 4:47 PM
    • 265 Posts
    • 1,416 Thanks
    JWPopps
    I hope everyone has a lovely New Year! I am at my boyfriend's house in Manchester, and today would have marked the 8th NSD if not for the £8 jumper I bought him in the Peacocks sale. Well, it is his birthday in a couple of days.

    We're having 'our' Christmas tomorrow, and in the meantime I'm sat next to him as he plays video games and I am typing up a bit of a project. 40,000 words and counting...

    So, let's see what 2017 brings!!
    Credit Card Debt: £720
    Loan Debt: £6,100
    Savings: £30



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 80% paid 6624/8280[/
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 31st Dec 16, 5:31 PM
    • 4,761 Posts
    • 28,344 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Happy New Year, let's hope 2017 is a good year for us all
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £20.70
    December 3 NSD
    Weight loss 2/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
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