Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 17th Oct 16, 3:46 PM
    • 6,584Posts
    • 29,217Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    Life Begins at ... 35?
    • #1
    • 17th Oct 16, 3:46 PM
    Life Begins at ... 35? 17th Oct 16 at 3:46 PM
    Hello!

    I used to be a very regular poster here - back in 2010 I was happy, had a decent job, was in a great relationship (or so I thought at the time), saving up for a house/wedding, all the things you do in your mid-late 20s.

    At 28 my ex cheated on me and left.
    At 29 my beloved Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
    At 31 I jacked in my job and spent an unbelievably stressful year training to be a teacher.
    At 32 I spent my NQT year in a really rough school with no support from management whatsoever.
    At 33 I quit teaching and my dad died about four months later.
    At 34 I found myself being bullied by management in a horrible job.

    Someone once told me that life works in seven year cycles (something to do with Saturn?) so Iím hoping that this will be true in my case - the last seven years have been horrendous for me on all fronts so Iím hoping the next seven will be brilliant to make up for it.

    My current situation is this:

    - I live alone with my cat in the house I grew up in, which I own outright (so thatís one stress I donít have - whatever happens I have a roof over my head!).

    - Both my parents have died and I'm an only child. My elderly and increasingly infirm granny lives nearby and depends on me a lot, but I try to limit how much I do for her for my own sanity (I feel awful saying that but it's true).

    - I have a decent amount of savings but these are rapidly being depleted (so I hope Iím welcome on the DFW board - Iíve always found it the friendliest, and I am aiming to *stay* debt-free).

    - The only job I have is one Spanish evening class a week, which far from pays the bills and I donít really want to keep long term as the preparation time needed is more than the pay is worth. But itís a little bit of pocket money for now.

    - I put on three stone while teaching and am still trying to lose it. Unfortunately I eat when Iím stressed, soÖ

    - I have now been single for six years. Iíve had a few internet dates but nothing that didnít make me want to enlist in a nunnery.



    Iíve just returned from a wonderful, relaxing, rejuvenating holiday and have realised that my 35th birthday is 17 weeks away. I want to start that next phase of my life in a much better state than the one outlined above. I am surrounded by lists and ideas of what to do next. Iíve posted on a couple of threads on here and was thinking about bullet journals, project planners and all sorts, then I thought an online diary might keep me focused, even if no-one else reads it.

    So, here I am. And this is my mission:

    Get a grip on my finances -
    What are my outgoings? What can I cut out? Limit my spending radically and keep a spending diary.

    Find a job -
    Any job, even a temp job for now.

    Lose weight and improve my fitness -
    Iíve been following Slimming World with varied success, and I recently paid upfront for a yearís leisure centre membership so I will be re-engaging with both of those.

    Deep clean the house -
    I recently bought Kim and Aggieís book in a charity shop and it really inspired me. My house is a hovel.

    Declutter and get organised -
    I still have loads of teaching paperwork and Dadís paperwork, plus my laptop files are in disarray and I have 2000+ photos clogging up my phone. I do Kondo in fits and starts so I need to gain some more momentum with this.

    Decorate the house -
    My bedroom is almost finished and I have everything I need for downstairs, I just need to roll my sleeves up.

    Be proactive about my love life -
    Yeah. This is the lowest priority at the moment.

    Here goesÖ
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
Page 1
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 17th Oct 16, 3:47 PM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    • #2
    • 17th Oct 16, 3:47 PM
    • #2
    • 17th Oct 16, 3:47 PM
    Okay, so today’s to-do list is a mini one because I’m still suffering massively with jet lag and didn’t wake up til after 12.30, and I’m going out to a library event at 6pm.

    - Post birthday card
    - Clear down inbox and respond to emails (I wasn’t able to access my Hotmail from abroad, apparently it’s an anti-hacking measure, so annoying!)
    - Unpack properly
    - Washing
    - Wash up
    - Order crochet hooks
    - Order flowers
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • Wanno
    • By Wanno 17th Oct 16, 4:34 PM
    • 130 Posts
    • 176 Thanks
    Wanno
    • #3
    • 17th Oct 16, 4:34 PM
    • #3
    • 17th Oct 16, 4:34 PM
    Hi Tete
    For some reason your diary struck a chord with me. We are both hoping for a bit of a turn around in our 35th year!

    Wishing you the best of luck - I'm going to subscribe and hopefully we can bring about some new and exciting changes this coming year.
    Wanno
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 17th Oct 16, 4:40 PM
    • 8,010 Posts
    • 51,406 Thanks
    Bobarella
    • #4
    • 17th Oct 16, 4:40 PM
    • #4
    • 17th Oct 16, 4:40 PM
    Welcome back to the boards Tete. You have really been through a lot. I truly hope the next phase works out for you. Good luck with it all.

    Bob
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.80 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,235.71 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • Soundgirlrocks
    • By Soundgirlrocks 17th Oct 16, 4:50 PM
    • 344 Posts
    • 476 Thanks
    Soundgirlrocks
    • #5
    • 17th Oct 16, 4:50 PM
    • #5
    • 17th Oct 16, 4:50 PM
    34 next month, and in a very similar position!
    Back in the red again but proud to have delt with my debts once so I can do it again!
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 17th Oct 16, 8:50 PM
    • 810 Posts
    • 2,064 Thanks
    lulabelle
    • #6
    • 17th Oct 16, 8:50 PM
    • #6
    • 17th Oct 16, 8:50 PM
    Hey T - you really have had a rough ride - I feel for you.

    Am subscribing and will be here to help.

    Re the weight loss issue (and if you don't have much work on at the moment) have you thought about getting a charity place for the london marathon or some other marathon if that seems a bit close? Having something to train and aim for really will boost how you feel, whilst raising money for a good cause plus you'll lose tons of weight whilst still eating plenty! I did it last year literally going from walk/run to running the LM with 13 weeks training - one of the best things I've every done x
    I want to be a writer
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 18th Oct 16, 8:53 AM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    • #7
    • 18th Oct 16, 8:53 AM
    • #7
    • 18th Oct 16, 8:53 AM
    GOOD MORNING! I actually managed a normal night's sleep last night (12.00-06.30) so I'm over the moon to have a full day ahead of me though I feel like absolute carp. My immune system is normally pretty aggressive though (hello psoriasis!) so hopefully this cold will soon be gone.

    Thanks for all your replies, nice to hear from people in similar positions. Bring on the mid 30s - we're ready for you!

    Lulabelle - I posted a bit on your thread just now about running. I entered the Great North Run in 2011 after my breakup and started from scratch, but have been running ever since and my running group is a big part of my life. I was running about two Halfs a year but in 2015 I decided to challenge myself to run 13 Half Marathons and raised £4000 for Cancer Research.

    This year has been more of a year of rest as I've come to terms with everything else life has been throwing at me, and I've only done one Half. I've never done a full marathon and was offered charity places in NYC next month and London next year, but turned both down because I did so much fundraising last year for a charity so close to my heart, and people were so generous, that I wouldn't feel comfortable raising money for charities that don't mean as much to me having just raised so much. Does that make sense? I entered the ballot for London but didn't get in so now I'm thinking about Manchester in April (I know loads of people who've done it and they say it's fab) or maybe upgrading my Liverpool Half entry for May up to the full.

    Before I commit to anything though I have a couple of niggles I want to get sorted - I have pain in my hip which is the result of problems with my piriformis and IT band. I *know* stretches which help this, I just need to actually do them And I went for a run on holiday and twinged my achilles so that's a worry as well. I've made an appointment with the physio for Thurs so I've got the ball rolling there.

    Back to your original point on weight loss - running doesn't seem to help! Perhaps I eat more because I feel I've earned it, I definitely eat through stress. Anyway, as I mentioned, I have full paid-up gym membership so I'm going to start swimming again and do a bit of strength stuff too to tone up a bit (one of the holiday photos of my arms and shoulders was horrendous).

    Wow sorry - don't get me talking about running!


    YESTERDAY'S LIST:

    - Post birthday card - written but not posted
    - Clear down inbox and respond to emails - still some to do
    - Unpack properly
    - Washing
    - Wash up
    - Order crochet hooks
    - Order flowers
    Originally posted by Tete en l'Air
    Spends were:
    £25.57 on crochet hooks and toy eyes (bought the eyes yo make it up to the free postage amount, cheaper than paying postage)
    £30.00 on flowers

    Great start to organisation and frugality, well done me!

    In fairness I was really knackered yesterday so I hope today will be a bit more productive:

    - Wash up and clean kitchen
    - Do a Mother Hubbard inventory
    - Meal plan
    - Food shopping
    - Set up spend tracker app
    - Post birthday card
    - Write and post holiday postcards
    - Respond to emails
    - Unpack properly
    - More washing
    - Prepare Spanish class
    - Open post
    - Phone about job
    - Car - pump tyres, car wash, fill screen wash, clear out litter
    - Take coat to be re-zipped

    I also want to look at my finances but I'm going to leave that til tomorrow when I have all day to concentrate on it.
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 18th Oct 16, 1:57 PM
    • 8,010 Posts
    • 51,406 Thanks
    Bobarella
    • #8
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:57 PM
    • #8
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:57 PM
    What an incredible amount to raise with your running!! Amazing.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.80 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,235.71 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 19th Oct 16, 8:26 AM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    • #9
    • 19th Oct 16, 8:26 AM
    • #9
    • 19th Oct 16, 8:26 AM
    Thanks Bob (my dad's name, incidentally) - people were really generous.

    Well, I've been feeling rough since the weekend but today I feel terrible. I woke up with a familiar painful condition that I always thought was mine alone as no-one ever seems to know what I'm talking about when I describe it, but when I googled "my face cavity is all dry and painful" I discovered it's actually dry sinuses. It seems the only thing that can really be done is steam your face then stick coconut oil up your nose so I've done both of those and the steam has relieved it a bit but I still feel rotten. Just deciding whether to soldier on or go back to bed. I don't actually have to do anything today if I don't want to.

    Yesterday's to-dos weren't as productive as I'd hoped. When I have a lesson to plan like that, it tends to take up all my time as I faff on trying to make it as good as possible. This is why teaching was no good for me - planning and marking just took me forever as I'm not one of those people who can just say "that'll do". I enjoyed the class once I got there though, teaching adults is fab.

    The trouble is the class is 7-9 and I was so busy with the lesson that I didn't eat a proper tea so I was starving by the time I drove home at 9.30, stopped at the garage and bought five chocolate doughnuts and ate them all Honestly what is the point of forcing myself to drink herbal teas all day to limit my sugar intake if I'm going to go and pull a stunt like that?


    - Wash up and clean kitchen - kitchen was briefly clean but not now
    - Do a Mother Hubbard inventory
    - Meal plan
    - Food shopping
    - Set up spend tracker app
    - Post birthday card
    - Write and post holiday postcards - half done
    - Respond to emails
    - Unpack properly
    - More washing
    - Prepare Spanish class
    - Open post
    - Phone about job
    - Car - pump tyres, car wash, fill screen wash, clear out litter
    - Take coat to be re-zipped
    Originally posted by Tete en l'Air
    I think I'm going to take a coffee to bed and read a chapter of my book and see how I feel after that. I feel great from the shoulders down.
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 19th Oct 16, 2:20 PM
    • 8,010 Posts
    • 51,406 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Ouch your condition sounds extremely painful. Poor you.

    Don't beat yourself up about the donuts. It's done now. Move on. It's the classic by not eating regularly you increase the chance of binging. But I often go hours between food so I know what it's like when you suddenly hit that wall and need to eat.

    Get well soon.

    (All the best people are called Bob)
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.80 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,235.71 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 19th Oct 16, 6:22 PM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    Well I have been in bed most of the day. Feeling better than I did this morning but still not great. I did get up around lunchtime and made a batch of soup so I have three portions of that in the freezer now which is pretty productive, though in my befuddled state I have used every utensil in the kitchen and they are all strewn about where I left them. I'm just having a bowl of cereal then going to take to my bed with my book.

    I had an offer of some potential work which could see me through to Christmas quite comfortably so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that, hopefully I'll find out for definite by the end of the week.
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 19th Oct 16, 6:42 PM
    • 8,010 Posts
    • 51,406 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hope the work comes off.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.80 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,235.71 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • Katzen
    • By Katzen 19th Oct 16, 6:48 PM
    • 499 Posts
    • 1,604 Thanks
    Katzen
    Evening, hope you're feeling a bit better. Totally know what you mean about teaching being so consuming, I am hating it since going back from maternity leave as I just cant put it before my baby but it's not possible to do a good job if I don't. I hope your new work comes together for you.
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 19th Oct 16, 9:30 PM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    Thanks both. Katzen, I feel for you - it always amazes me how anyone could teach and have a family.

    I've just had another little snooze, I hope I can sleep tonight now! Hot choccy and book on the go...
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • ZTD
    • By ZTD 19th Oct 16, 10:47 PM
    • 22,979 Posts
    • 39,093 Thanks
    ZTD
    The trouble is the class is 7-9 and I was so busy with the lesson that I didn't eat a proper tea so I was starving by the time I drove home at 9.30, stopped at the garage and bought five chocolate doughnuts and ate them all Honestly what is the point of forcing myself to drink herbal teas all day to limit my sugar intake if I'm going to go and pull a stunt like that?
    Originally posted by Tete en l'Air
    Don't "limit your sugar intake" in that way. Decide how much total carbohydrate you're going to have in a day, then feed it to yourself gradually (checking the GI of your food would be even better). Otherwise, your blood sugar will soar, crash and burn, and you'll binge and generally not know where you are.

    I think I'm going to take a coffee to bed and read a chapter of my book and see how I feel after that. I feel great from the shoulders down.
    Originally posted by Tete en l'Air
    That's good. Most times I feel OK from the ankles down...
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."
    OMD 'Julia's Song'
    • tootallulah
    • By tootallulah 20th Oct 16, 7:53 AM
    • 1,935 Posts
    • 6,684 Thanks
    tootallulah
    Hello Tete nice to see you, what a tough few years......I hope the job works out. I swapped Slimmers World for Weight Watchers which suits me better. I tracked everything on line and got a deal through Quidco.

    Re Grandmother, you need to build your own life of which she is part but not the centre it sounds terrible but you need your own life to flourish.
    Mortgage House £173,000 July17th 2016.
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 21st Oct 16, 11:21 AM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    Don't "limit your sugar intake" in that way. Decide how much total carbohydrate you're going to have in a day, then feed it to yourself gradually (checking the GI of your food would be even better). Otherwise, your blood sugar will soar, crash and burn, and you'll binge and generally not know where you are.
    Originally posted by ZTD
    Hi ZTD - yes I do know this in theory It was my own lack of time management I think, I had meant to have bolognese and pasta before my lesson I think but ended up just having the bolognese (a batch cooked portion from the freezer, heated in the microwave) because I didn't have time to do the pasta, but then because I was still active and not winding down for the evening I was starving by 9pm. Must be more organised!

    Hello Tete nice to see you, what a tough few years......I hope the job works out. I swapped Slimmers World for Weight Watchers which suits me better. I tracked everything on line and got a deal through Quidco.

    Re Grandmother, you need to build your own life of which she is part but not the centre it sounds terrible but you need your own life to flourish.
    Originally posted by tootallulah
    Hi Tootallulah! I did do WW for a while but with that and calorie counting, I find that if a bar of chocolate has the same 'value' as two apples say, then I'll go for the chocolate every time. With SW there's so much free food that you can fill up on, thats better for me (when I do it right, see above) - I don't think I've articulated that very well, still got a fuzzy head.

    And you're so right about my grandma, and I do know this, but it's hard and I always feel so guilty. As I said, I do try not to just jump and do everything for her because I know I have to put my own life first. But yeah, guilt.
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 21st Oct 16, 12:06 PM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    I did manage to motivae myself slightly and get a couple of things done yesterday so here's an updated to do list from the other day:

    - Wash up and clean kitchen
    - Do a Mother Hubbard inventory
    - Meal plan
    - Food shopping
    - Set up spend tracker app
    - Post birthday card
    - Write and post holiday postcards - half done
    - Respond to emails - half done
    - Unpack properly

    - More washing
    - Prepare Spanish class
    - Open post
    - Phone about job
    - Car - pump tyres, car wash, fill screen wash, clear out litter
    - Take coat to be re-zipped
    Originally posted by Tete en l'Air
    The woman in the repairs shop was brilliant when I showed her my coat zip. I'd gone in expecting to have to pay £20+ and wait a couple of weeks to have my zip replaced (which I was OK with as I love the coat), and she said, "I'll try this first" and just nipped the zipper together ever so slightly with some pliers and hey presto! And she didn't charge! So there's a little tip - if you have a zip that's not doing up smoothly or remains 'open' after it's been zipped, just try the plier trick!

    Having looked at the job again I wasn't sure if it was really for me, and since then of course it seems I should have plenty of work next term so I've crossed that off the list. I'm going to keep my eye out though because I do really want to break out of the work I'm doing.

    I am still feeling extremely fuzzy and sneezing constantly but I'm desperate to bring a bit of order into my home and life in general. So today:

    - Clean living room
    - Clean kitchen
    - Finish unpacking
    - Put laundry away
    - Wash towels
    - Respond to emails
    - Open post
    - Deal with paperwork
    - Check financial situation
    - Write and post postcards
    - Car - pump tyres, clean out inside, car wash, screen wash, petrol

    I really want a clean and ordered downstairs because next week I want to move all the furniture out of the kitchen and decorate. It took me so long to do my bedroom that I'm dreading the kitchen which is twice the size and includes wallpapering I've never wallpapered before so any hints and tips gratefully accepted!
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 21st Oct 16, 12:58 PM
    • 810 Posts
    • 2,064 Thanks
    lulabelle
    omg T, you have put me to shame with your running and excellent fund raising skills - amazing!!!!

    I reckon weight loss issue must be down to diet then as running should help shed pounds/keep it off. Maybe look at body coach lean in 15 programme?! x
    I want to be a writer
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 21st Oct 16, 1:03 PM
    • 6,584 Posts
    • 29,217 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    Thanks Lula I know the cause - when I'm stressed or unhappy or bored or lonely or tired I eat too much of the really bad stuff as evidenced by the five doughnuts the other night. My actual meals are pretty balanced and mostly made from scratch, it's the whole tubes of pringles and family sized bars of chocolate that do the damage It's a cycle I need to break out of.
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,119Posts Today

5,457Users online

Martin's Twitter