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  • FIRST POST
    • redrabbit29
    • By redrabbit29 15th Oct 16, 10:01 PM
    • 1,014Posts
    • 429Thanks
    redrabbit29
    Any other depression sufferers here?
    • #1
    • 15th Oct 16, 10:01 PM
    Any other depression sufferers here? 15th Oct 16 at 10:01 PM
    Just having a bit of a bad time at the minute.

    Funny thing with depression is things can be going absolutely fine and yet you still get caught up. Also, there's usually nothing really identifiable that makes you slip into it.

    I'm 32, and if you saw me or met me you'd think I was a usual "lad" or "normal guy". I like football, I have some jokes, etc...

    Yet I do suffer from depression. Things effect me at different times. If I'm feeling good then for months on end it doesn't even phase me. However like now it can get me.

    The funny thing is, even missing a train makes it worse, or losing some money, or forgetting something. Embarassingly it makes me feel sorry for myself. I hate that.

    This is not a sad post... I'm just saying how it is. I'm absolutely fine, yet I do feel quite sh**tty at the moment
    Amo L'Italia
Page 1
    • zagubov
    • By zagubov 16th Oct 16, 12:11 AM
    • 13,415 Posts
    • 118,286 Thanks
    zagubov
    • #2
    • 16th Oct 16, 12:11 AM
    • #2
    • 16th Oct 16, 12:11 AM
    redrabbit there will always be people here who will be happy to listen.

    But much more important, do your kith and kin know how you feel and are you getting proper medical attention by qualified people.

    It's really important that you don't keep or confine your worries and concerns to this virtual world. Our emotions are too important to be dealt with entirely like that. Please keep your loved ones updated, always.
    There is no honour to be had in not knowing a thing that can be known - Danny Baker
    • TE1979
    • By TE1979 16th Oct 16, 3:39 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 347 Thanks
    TE1979
    • #3
    • 16th Oct 16, 3:39 AM
    • #3
    • 16th Oct 16, 3:39 AM
    The worst part of depression for me - would be waking up in the morning, not having the motivation to do anything. A no care attitude towards life itself. I know an excellent place to chat for depression sufferers. If you are interested. I'll send it to you in a private message. It's open 24/7 with a safe, friendly community.☺
    • redrabbit29
    • By redrabbit29 16th Oct 16, 4:23 AM
    • 1,014 Posts
    • 429 Thanks
    redrabbit29
    • #4
    • 16th Oct 16, 4:23 AM
    • #4
    • 16th Oct 16, 4:23 AM
    The worst part of depression for me - would be waking up in the morning, not having the motivation to do anything. A no care attitude towards life itself. I know an excellent place to chat for depression sufferers. If you are interested. I'll send it to you in a private message. It's open 24/7 with a safe, friendly community.☺
    Originally posted by TE1979
    hey - yes please, that would be good to have that

    thanks
    Amo L'Italia
    • catkins
    • By catkins 16th Oct 16, 8:47 AM
    • 5,202 Posts
    • 10,808 Thanks
    catkins
    • #5
    • 16th Oct 16, 8:47 AM
    • #5
    • 16th Oct 16, 8:47 AM
    I have suffered from depression on and off for over 40 years. It is horrible and you have my sympathy.

    I have had various medication which didn't help but did give me various side effects and counselling which also didn't help.

    I have also suffered panic attacks and at one time I didn't leave the house for over 6 months at all, hardly ate, rarely washed etc.

    I am nowhere near as bad now but I have good and bad days. I can wake up feeling really bad for no reason and not want to get out of bed but I force myself as I have a dog that needs to be walked, fed etc.

    For me I find music really helps. I usually take my dog for a walk and put in my earphones and listen to lively music. It means I don't have to talk to anyone because when I am down I don't want to talk and the walk and the music almost always start making me feel a bit brighter. Then when I get back I put on some cd's. It's quite unusual that I don't end up feeling much better.

    I also try and keep my mind occupied - reading, doing a crossword, baking - anything that keeps your mind off the fact that you are feeling low
    The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 16th Oct 16, 9:29 AM
    • 21,503 Posts
    • 75,527 Thanks
    Pyxis
    • #6
    • 16th Oct 16, 9:29 AM
    • #6
    • 16th Oct 16, 9:29 AM
    redrabbit.....


    I have tried to PM you about something you might be interested in, but your inbox is full.

    If you could make some space, I will send you the pm.......don't really want to post it on a thread!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, P.P..
    ¥ ¥ ¥
    X ~O
    • Nomoonatall
    • By Nomoonatall 16th Oct 16, 4:05 PM
    • 1,132 Posts
    • 2,885 Thanks
    Nomoonatall
    • #7
    • 16th Oct 16, 4:05 PM
    • #7
    • 16th Oct 16, 4:05 PM
    Just having a bit of a bad time at the minute.

    Funny thing with depression is things can be going absolutely fine and yet you still get caught up. Also, there's usually nothing really identifiable that makes you slip into it.

    I'm 32, and if you saw me or met me you'd think I was a usual "lad" or "normal guy". I like football, I have some jokes, etc...

    Yet I do suffer from depression. Things effect me at different times. If I'm feeling good then for months on end it doesn't even phase me. However like now it can get me.

    The funny thing is, even missing a train makes it worse, or losing some money, or forgetting something. Embarassingly it makes me feel sorry for myself. I hate that.

    This is not a sad post... I'm just saying how it is. I'm absolutely fine, yet I do feel quite sh**tty at the moment
    Originally posted by redrabbit29
    Hi,

    Hope you're coping okay. I may have mentioned on previous threads...you really need to see a doctor, particularly one that 'understands'.

    I wish you well, it's a long road that'll take time for you to even think about getting there. I'm still trying to find my way! Urgh, I'm quoting inspirational type stuff...sorry!

    Good luck x
    • Sam Fallow
    • By Sam Fallow 16th Oct 16, 7:53 PM
    • 499 Posts
    • 1,058 Thanks
    Sam Fallow
    • #8
    • 16th Oct 16, 7:53 PM
    • #8
    • 16th Oct 16, 7:53 PM
    Fellow sufferer here.

    First I need to clarify, for those who may not know, that if you're depressed about something, then you are not depressed, just feeling sad or fed up. If the subject matter for being depressed is removed then HEY! the depression goes. That is not depression.

    Those who are depressed are so for no good reason and a significant lottery win still wouldn't fix it. (I am available for any trials though!)

    My depression (coupled with stress, anxiety and panic attacks) all revolve about one thing which isn't going away and even if it did I would still be broken.

    I'm an analytical, rational person with an engineering background following a university degree and so I always like to know how things work and how to fix them when the don't. I can't even understand how I am like this and have no way to fix it myself. Which is depressing. I can't even do the things I used to do, I can barely trust myself to change a fuse even on a good day. Which is depressing.

    I have learnt that if I start off with a bad morning that it will not get any better and so curtail my activities to the bare essentials, and I mean the absolute minimum. I had a really bad couple of days last week that came from nothing but on the Friday morning I felt really really good. Again there is no explanation to it. On these rare okay days I don't go mad and try to catch up on everything, I just get a few things done and feel good about it.

    Depression is in itself depressing. When I'm under the black cloud I try not to think about it and just occupying myself with any mindless activity that stops me thinking. Whether that be playing Solitaire on the laptop or watching an easy to follow movie or, hardest of all, trying to read a book.

    The best remedy that has any effect is my dogs. They need a walk and I love being out with them, the problem is the 'going out in the first place' bit. And they cuddle up close and show loads of love and affection and play fight together that it does lift me a little and motivates me to get going. And more importantly, they don't judge me.

    Doctors, medication, CBT, support groups, I've tried it all and I'm still the same except that I now accept it better and don't try to fight it.

    To anyone else that suffers similarly I'd have said, 'get a grip and pull yourself together,' so I understand better when anyone else tries that with me.

    Anyway, this isn't my final year thesis, so I'll stop now. To anyone blighted by depression I say...

    'Don't worry, Be happy!' (Joke)
    • Andrew Ryan 89
    • By Andrew Ryan 89 17th Oct 16, 12:22 AM
    • 416 Posts
    • 238 Thanks
    Andrew Ryan 89
    • #9
    • 17th Oct 16, 12:22 AM
    • #9
    • 17th Oct 16, 12:22 AM
    Depression is a very weird thing. When I was younger, depression and anxiety used to drive me forward career and health wise. I was awkward around girls and literally had no friends, so I worked to jobs so that way I was at least richer than my peers. I also used to go gym so I would be in shape when I did meet that girl.

    Then something weird happened. I started making friends. Met a beautiful girl who ended up being my wife. I had dreams of earning £25k a year, now I earn £50k. Never thought I would own my own home, now I have 2 bedrooms and a garden. Everything I dreamt about, things I genuinely thought was not possible, have all come. However, the anxiety that drove me is gone but the depression remains. I simply don't care.

    I wake up everyday and I can't be bothered to work, and not worried at all about the consequences of not being so. I count the weeks left where my insurance policy will pay out for suicide. Waste my whole day daydreaming and staring out the window.

    I can't figure out what it is that will get me back on track. What I can do to get my mojo back. Sadly, it could just be a chemical thing that I have little to no control of.
    • Lolly88
    • By Lolly88 17th Oct 16, 1:53 AM
    • 140 Posts
    • 492 Thanks
    Lolly88
    I don't have much to add except to say I know how you feel, this is something I have struggled with for my whole life and will probably continue to struggle with forever.

    The worst part of depression for me - would be waking up in the morning, not having the motivation to do anything. A no care attitude towards life itself. I know an excellent place to chat for depression sufferers. If you are interested. I'll send it to you in a private message. It's open 24/7 with a safe, friendly community.☺
    Originally posted by TE1979
    Would you mind sending me this information, I'm quite interested.
    Saving for a House Deposit
    Save 12k in 2016 #002: £13,017.99/£12000
    Save 6k in 2015 #139: £8250
    /£6000
    Total: £21,267.99/£25,500 = 83.4%
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 17th Oct 16, 6:35 AM
    • 21,503 Posts
    • 75,527 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Depression is a very weird thing. When I was younger, depression and anxiety used to drive me forward career and health wise. I was awkward around girls and literally had no friends, so I worked to jobs so that way I was at least richer than my peers. I also used to go gym so I would be in shape when I did meet that girl.

    Then something weird happened. I started making friends. Met a beautiful girl who ended up being my wife. I had dreams of earning £25k a year, now I earn £50k. Never thought I would own my own home, now I have 2 bedrooms and a garden. Everything I dreamt about, things I genuinely thought was not possible, have all come. However, the anxiety that drove me is gone but the depression remains. I simply don't care.

    I wake up everyday and I can't be bothered to work, and not worried at all about the consequences of not being so. I count the weeks left where my insurance policy will pay out for suicide. Waste my whole day daydreaming and staring out the window.

    I can't figure out what it is that will get me back on track. What I can do to get my mojo back. Sadly, it could just be a chemical thing that I have little to no control of.
    Originally posted by Andrew Ryan 89
    (((((((((((Andrew))))))))))))))

    I know you want the dreadful blackness to stop, but suicide isn't the only way to make it stop.
    You mentioned it possibly being a chemical thing. You are probably right. There are other metabolic disorders the body can undergo, which are remedied by taking the appropriate medication. For instance, Type 1 Diabetes.
    The first step is to ask about what help is available. That help may be in the form of medication, or it may be in another form, or combination of forms.

    Have you discussed how you feel with your wife? If not, that would be the first step, and then together, you could find out more.

    Please remember that you may feel very, very alone, but you aren't. There are a great many people who feel as you do.

    Also remember, that if someone has diabetes, it has nothing to do with how good or bad their life is. It's the same with depression....it is a disorder that is no respecter of whether one is successful or not, happily married or not. To suggest that someone has no reason to have depression is the same as suggesting that someone has no reason to have diabetes, if you see what I mean!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, P.P..
    ¥ ¥ ¥
    X ~O
    • comeandgo
    • By comeandgo 17th Oct 16, 7:40 AM
    • 1,317 Posts
    • 1,690 Thanks
    comeandgo
    Another sufferer here but I am on medication that works, I feel fine about 95% of the time, small hiccups now and then. The relief of having motivation again, looking forward to events, being able to read a newspaper, a book, my thoughts no longer going round and round on all the minute mistakes and faux pas (not sure on spelling), that I ever did, even the thoughts on jumping off a cliff, all gone.
    Please if you have not been to see a doctor do so, there is help available.
    • catkins
    • By catkins 17th Oct 16, 8:21 AM
    • 5,202 Posts
    • 10,808 Thanks
    catkins
    Another sufferer here but I am on medication that works, I feel fine about 95% of the time, small hiccups now and then. The relief of having motivation again, looking forward to events, being able to read a newspaper, a book, my thoughts no longer going round and round on all the minute mistakes and faux pas (not sure on spelling), that I ever did, even the thoughts on jumping off a cliff, all gone.
    Please if you have not been to see a doctor do so, there is help available.
    Originally posted by comeandgo

    I wish I could find something that would help me. As I say a lot of the time now I am pretty ok and I have kind of learned to live with it although at the same time doing things to help with it (walking, music etc).

    I still can't sleep though because of the thoughts constantly in my head and wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

    I've had various medication over the years but none of it has ever help and most of it has had horrible side effects. One tablet made me feel terribly nauseous and I kept being sick. I persevered with it but after a few weeks I just could not take it any more. It also gave me panic attacks
    The world is over 4 billion years old and yet you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie
    • harrys dad
    • By harrys dad 17th Oct 16, 9:24 AM
    • 1,697 Posts
    • 1,892 Thanks
    harrys dad
    A few years ago my daughter suffered terrible post natal depression. She was lucky enough to get expert help and is fine now. One key part of her "treatment" was to read this wonderful book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Depressive-Illness-Strong-Overcoming-Problems/dp/1847092357

    She was lucky enough to meet the author a couple of years later and told him "your book saved my life".

    It helps understand what depression is, but also gives positive strategies through Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to help sufferers deal with it. It is also good for those around you to read and help them understand this illness too.
    • Dustyblinds
    • By Dustyblinds 17th Oct 16, 10:04 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 356 Thanks
    Dustyblinds
    Hi. I don't suffer from depression myself but my oh does. We've been together 27 years now and he's only just seeking out help now. Life has been so frustrating and painful for the family culminating in him having a massive meltdown a few weeks ago, we had to ring the police as he was in such a state.
    Like zagubov says, please keep your loved ones in the picture regarding your condition. Since my oh had his meltdown things are much better as we are all talking more openly about this. I do realise it's very early days and I'm still walking on eggshells some days but I feel a lot more positive.
    He has a very understanding doctor, has had a few telephone assessments with mind and is currently awaiting an appointment for counselling.
    Ds suffers with anxiety as well, I feel his dads condition and being a T1 diabetic have contributed to this. I would love to be able to persuade him to seek further help with this but know from experience that he will only do this in his own time. I'm hoping once his dad starts his counselling this will inspire him to do likewise. I really don't want him leaving it until it's as bad as his dads as our family has gone through so much over the years and don't want history repeating itself.
    • Sam Fallow
    • By Sam Fallow 17th Oct 16, 3:16 PM
    • 499 Posts
    • 1,058 Thanks
    Sam Fallow
    I want to thank the OP for starting this thread and those who have and will contribute to it. It does help a little to get it out there and maybe for others to get a better understanding of those that suffer.

    After my lengthy epistle the other night I had some thoughts about my condition and noted them down. Here's what I got:

    Depression is...

    ...finding the negative in everything which, in it's best form, is complacency and indifference.

    ...when you hear someone laughing and wonder where it's coming from only to realise it's you.

    ...when you feel like 'there's no-one here but me' even when you have people who care.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 17th Oct 16, 4:08 PM
    • 21,503 Posts
    • 75,527 Thanks
    Pyxis
    I want to thank the OP for starting this thread and those who have and will contribute to it. It does help a little to get it out there and maybe for others to get a better understanding of those that suffer.

    After my lengthy epistle the other night I had some thoughts about my condition and noted them down. Here's what I got:

    Depression is.....

    ...finding the negative in everything which, in it's best form, is complacency and indifference.

    ...when you hear someone laughing and wonder where it's coming from only to realise it's you.

    ...when you feel like 'there's no-one here but me' even when you have people who care.
    Originally posted by Sam Fallow
    Thank you Sam.

    I would add these:-

    Depression is the thief that robs you of hope.

    It turns the smallest of everyday tasks into an unscaleable mountain.

    It turns the smallest of everyday tasks into a Thing to be feared, and then that fear itself becomes a Thing To Be Feared.

    Depression is the thief that robs you of hope, robs you of your sense of self, robs you of your sense of worth.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, P.P..
    ¥ ¥ ¥
    X ~O
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 17th Oct 16, 4:35 PM
    • 8,875 Posts
    • 96,677 Thanks
    LameWolf
    Pyxis that is a very good summation indeed.

    I have suffered depression most of my life; been on one or another anti-d medication for the last 44 years - no that's not finger-stutter, it is forty-four years. Been through more counselling in one lifetime than anyone should have to endure in three.

    Anyone meeting me casually, would think I was fine; it's afterwards that I get all the panic, the conviction that everyone who meets me must hate me because I hate myself, the feeling that I just can't cope with one more day alive. Three o'clock in the morning seems to be the worst point.

    I came closer to doing something about that last bit two weeks ago than I have been since the end of 2001; luckily (or not) I had two dogs staying with me, and couldn't let them down, so I deferred it til they'd gone home, by which point I felt a little more in charge of myself.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 17th Oct 16, 5:33 PM
    • 21,503 Posts
    • 75,527 Thanks
    Pyxis
    There's a physiological reason for the three a.m. dip.

    Certain metabolic functions are at their lowest ebb, certain hormones etc. are at their least optimum levels.

    At 3a.m. the body is physiologically and biochemically at its most vulnerable.

    It's no coincidence that more people die at or around 3a.m. than at other times of the day, for that very reason.




    (I can't remember the specific details, but it's very interesting. I'll see if I can find some info).
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, P.P..
    ¥ ¥ ¥
    X ~O
    • Andrew Ryan 89
    • By Andrew Ryan 89 17th Oct 16, 7:07 PM
    • 416 Posts
    • 238 Thanks
    Andrew Ryan 89
    I want to thank the OP for starting this thread and those who have and will contribute to it. It does help a little to get it out there and maybe for others to get a better understanding of those that suffer.

    After my lengthy epistle the other night I had some thoughts about my condition and noted them down. Here's what I got:

    Depression is...

    ...finding the negative in everything which, in it's best form, is complacency and indifference.

    ...when you hear someone laughing and wonder where it's coming from only to realise it's you.

    ...when you feel like 'there's no-one here but me' even when you have people who care.
    Originally posted by Sam Fallow
    Same, reading these stories has made me feel better in a weird way. Good to have support with these things, even if it's online.
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