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  • FIRST POST
    • TheGame21
    • By TheGame21 14th Oct 16, 1:29 PM
    • 104Posts
    • 15Thanks
    TheGame21
    Balancing Work and Home Life
    • #1
    • 14th Oct 16, 1:29 PM
    Balancing Work and Home Life 14th Oct 16 at 1:29 PM
    Do people have any tips on how they balance their work and home life with kids? How do they get home jobs done after a long day at work and find time to relax? I am currently finding it difficult to fit in any relaxing time with the amount of jobs at home.
Page 1
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 14th Oct 16, 2:23 PM
    • 11,958 Posts
    • 11,408 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #2
    • 14th Oct 16, 2:23 PM
    • #2
    • 14th Oct 16, 2:23 PM
    Do people have any tips on how they balance their work and home life with kids? How do they get home jobs done after a long day at work and find time to relax? I am currently finding it difficult to fit in any relaxing time with the amount of jobs at home.
    Originally posted by TheGame21


    Here's a little test:


    Count up how much time you spend doing the following:


    1: Commuting
    2: Working
    3: Sleeping
    4: Mandatory household (e.g. Washing, eating, the basics)


    How much time do you have left? Now split that as you wish.


    My example:


    1: 30 mins
    2: 8 hrs
    3: 6 hrs
    4: 1 hour


    leaving me 8.5 a day to do as I wish.
    • jayII
    • By jayII 14th Oct 16, 7:40 PM
    • 39,797 Posts
    • 105,868 Thanks
    jayII
    • #3
    • 14th Oct 16, 7:40 PM
    • #3
    • 14th Oct 16, 7:40 PM
    It's hard and how hard depends on many things, including the ages of your kids, but it does get easier as they get older and become more independent/able to help.

    I found that strict organisation was the key.

    I prepped the slow cooker and rice cooker most mornings, so food was ready when we got home, leaving me a short time to play with the kids / take them for a short walk / help with homework and so on.

    I did a quick tidy and vacuumed the downstairs each evening and Saturday mornings were for cleaning/tidying/doing laundry. The kids either played or 'helped' when they were small and they helped properly as they got older.

    That meant we could chill on Saturday afternoons and do fun things on Sundays, whereas evenings after the kids bedtime was 'me time' for the adults.

    I know the voices in my head aren't real, but sometimes their ideas are absolutely awesome!

    When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.




    • meer53
    • By meer53 14th Oct 16, 8:28 PM
    • 8,362 Posts
    • 11,920 Thanks
    meer53
    • #4
    • 14th Oct 16, 8:28 PM
    • #4
    • 14th Oct 16, 8:28 PM
    I don't have relaxing time. I'm a single mum with 2 kids at home and i work full time. You need to try to change your idea of what "relaxing time" is. I find cooking and ironing relaxing, some people dont. I tend not to stress if stuff doesnt get done, everything will still be there tomorrow. I have a routine of sorts, shopping is done on Thursday morning ( my days off are Weds and Thurs and i work Saturdays) and the bathroom gets completely cleaned on a Sunday morning. I hoover when it needs hoovering, the hall stairs and landing get done once a week, same with changing the beds. I usually manage to get an hour each evening to do what i like, i'm happy with that. Of course it depends on how many kids you have and what hours you work.
    • TheGame21
    • By TheGame21 18th Oct 16, 1:16 PM
    • 104 Posts
    • 15 Thanks
    TheGame21
    • #5
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:16 PM
    • #5
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:16 PM
    We currently have one child however demanding jobs mean we struggle with getting jobs done at home, spending time with our little one and finding any time to relax.
    • LannieDuck
    • By LannieDuck 18th Oct 16, 1:56 PM
    • 2,174 Posts
    • 6,696 Thanks
    LannieDuck
    • #6
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:56 PM
    • #6
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:56 PM
    Here's a little test:


    Count up how much time you spend doing the following:


    1: Commuting
    2: Working
    3: Sleeping
    4: Mandatory household (e.g. Washing, eating, the basics)


    How much time do you have left? Now split that as you wish.


    My example:


    1: 30 mins
    2: 8 hrs
    3: 6 hrs
    4: 1 hour


    leaving me 8.5 a day to do as I wish.
    Originally posted by Guest101
    I find that quite hard to apply.

    1: Commuting - 2 hrs
    2: Working - 8 hrs
    3: Sleeping - 7 hrs
    4: Mandatory household - 2 1/2 hrs (incl childcare)

    19.5 hrs. Leaving 4 1/2 free

    I don't have that much free. 1/2 hour in the morning is getting ready for work. Should that go in mandatory household?

    There's always some non-mandatory household I have to try and work through (our mortgage is up for renewal - I need to start researching that), another 1/2 hr each day.

    1 hr of the 'free' time is my lunch break at work. I guess that counts, but the work canteen isn't very relaxing.

    2 1/2 hours free in the evening sounds about right.
    Mortgage when started: £330,995

    “Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
    Arthur C. Clarke
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 18th Oct 16, 1:58 PM
    • 4,842 Posts
    • 6,351 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    • #7
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:58 PM
    • #7
    • 18th Oct 16, 1:58 PM
    Youcan also look at what you do and decide what to prioritse, and also think about how you are sharing the jobs which need to be done.
    For instance:
    How much do the children help out? Depending on their ages, they can help with stuff such as laundry, cleaning, meal prep etc - even wuite small children can leanr to pick up toys, lay a table etc, and older ones should be able to do a bit more so that everyone in the family is sharing the work which needs doing.

    How do you and your partner/spouse (if you have one) share the jobs which need doing? It's very easy to fall into patternswhich worked at one time but don't any longer - for instance, if you sp;lti he housework etc the same as you did before children, but one of you is also doing school / nursery runs / afer school clubs / homewok supervision and making lunches and/.or two separate meals in the evening then maybe you need to review who is doing what.

    Decide what is most importnat to you. making time to spend just enjoying eacho others company / having fun with the children / relaxing may mean that you have to make a conscious choice not to do something else - whether it is chosing to vacuum slightly less frequently, get a take away once a week instead of cooking, decide to iron fewer items or whatever it takes. Or it might mean making a choise to spend more money on (say) paying someone to come in to clean or iron, and hav less available to spend on other things such as holidays.
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 18th Oct 16, 2:32 PM
    • 11,958 Posts
    • 11,408 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #8
    • 18th Oct 16, 2:32 PM
    • #8
    • 18th Oct 16, 2:32 PM
    I find that quite hard to apply.

    1: Commuting - 2 hrs
    2: Working - 8 hrs
    3: Sleeping - 7 hrs
    4: Mandatory household - 2 1/2 hrs (incl childcare)

    19.5 hrs. Leaving 4 1/2 free

    I don't have that much free. 1/2 hour in the morning is getting ready for work. Should that go in mandatory household? - Well yes ofcourse. If it takes you 30 minutes and you HAVE to do it.

    There's always some non-mandatory household I have to try and work through (our mortgage is up for renewal - I need to start researching that), another 1/2 hr each day. - But again if you HAVE to do it, that's mandatory.

    1 hr of the 'free' time is my lunch break at work. I guess that counts, but the work canteen isn't very relaxing. - I'd count that as work, but if you're at work 9 hours a day and 2 hours commute, then you really need to consider your work / life balance.

    2 1/2 hours free in the evening sounds about right.
    Originally posted by LannieDuck


    2.5 hours? I'd be wanting more than 10% of my time as free time to be honest (but I get that too so..
    • LannieDuck
    • By LannieDuck 18th Oct 16, 2:36 PM
    • 2,174 Posts
    • 6,696 Thanks
    LannieDuck
    • #9
    • 18th Oct 16, 2:36 PM
    • #9
    • 18th Oct 16, 2:36 PM
    2.5 hours? I'd be wanting more than 10% of my time as free time to be honest (but I get that too so..
    Originally posted by Guest101
    Yeah, I agree. I'm exhausted. But that's what you get when you want to maintain your career and have two small children

    Edit: I think I may have done myself out of 30 mins there. I work 8-4.30pm, with a 1 hr break for lunch. Which is 7.5 hrs + 1 hr lunch. So I've actually got 3 hrs free time per day - Whoo! lol
    Last edited by LannieDuck; 18-10-2016 at 2:43 PM.
    Mortgage when started: £330,995

    “Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
    Arthur C. Clarke
    • esmy
    • By esmy 18th Oct 16, 5:53 PM
    • 628 Posts
    • 1,293 Thanks
    esmy
    If you can afford it 'buy' time by paying someone to do some of the household jobs - when my kids were small I did all the grocery shopping online, paying for delivery, and I also paid someone to iron. Couldn't run to a cleaner but would have if I could have afforded it. I also did a bare minimum of housework on the basis that an extra days dust never harmed anyone!
    • bsod
    • By bsod 18th Oct 16, 6:05 PM
    • 1,057 Posts
    • 645 Thanks
    bsod
    running a home doesn't take much time once you discard all the things that aren't essential, a couple of hours at the weekend should do it. eg cooking, ironing, washing can all be done simultaneously whilst watching tv.
    Last edited by bsod; 18-10-2016 at 6:17 PM.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 18th Oct 16, 7:59 PM
    • 18,974 Posts
    • 30,476 Thanks
    Spendless
    I find that quite hard to apply.

    1: Commuting - 2 hrs
    2: Working - 8 hrs
    3: Sleeping - 7 hrs
    4: Mandatory household - 2 1/2 hrs (incl childcare)

    19.5 hrs. Leaving 4 1/2 free

    I don't have that much free. 1/2 hour in the morning is getting ready for work. Should that go in mandatory household?

    There's always some non-mandatory household I have to try and work through (our mortgage is up for renewal - I need to start researching that), another 1/2 hr each day.

    1 hr of the 'free' time is my lunch break at work. I guess that counts, but the work canteen isn't very relaxing.

    2 1/2 hours free in the evening sounds about right.
    Originally posted by LannieDuck
    It's been years since I had a job that gave an hours lunch. Do you have to have this amount of time, or could you reduce it to 30 minutes and leave 1/2 an hour earlier?

    If not is there anything you could do during your lunch break that would free up time later eg make appointments using your mobile phone or pop to shops and get something eg I go to Home Bargains once a week to stock up on drinks for school/college.
    • LannieDuck
    • By LannieDuck 18th Oct 16, 9:18 PM
    • 2,174 Posts
    • 6,696 Thanks
    LannieDuck
    It's been years since I had a job that gave an hours lunch. Do you have to have this amount of time, or could you reduce it to 30 minutes and leave 1/2 an hour earlier?

    If not is there anything you could do during your lunch break that would free up time later eg make appointments using your mobile phone or pop to shops and get something eg I go to Home Bargains once a week to stock up on drinks for school/college.
    Originally posted by Spendless
    I was simplifying for the post. I actually work 8.30-4.30 with 1/2 hr break, but I commute around the North Circular / Hangar Lane, so I have to aim to be in work for 8am in case there's a problem with the traffic (in which case I have a 30 min contingency, which I do need ~10% of the time). So I normally get into work at 8am and take an hour lunch.

    It would be unusual to leave early - work have already allowed me to flexi sufficient for a 4.30pm exit, and I don't want to start disappearing at 4, even if it's justified in my hours.

    I do sometimes make appointments during my lunch hour, but I have quite a mentally intensive job, so I normally try and read a book in the canteen, or read MSE at my desk or something It's... somewhat relaxing. Not the same as putting my feet up at home tho!

    But thank you for the suggestions

    To add, I will eventually look for a job closer to home, but my current employer has been very good about allowing part-time, flexi-time working which allows me to have a day a week at home with DD2 (who's still in nursery). I'd like to continue this until she starts school if I can, and I think it would be hard to find another employer willing to accommodate me. I think I can manage my exhaustion until then. Hopefully
    Last edited by LannieDuck; 18-10-2016 at 9:23 PM.
    Mortgage when started: £330,995

    “Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
    Arthur C. Clarke
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 18th Oct 16, 10:05 PM
    • 4,479 Posts
    • 5,639 Thanks
    theoretica
    I would look closely at the housework - some things are necessary for health or not destroying property, but somethings you could probably let slide and do less often. Conversely, habits like immediately putting clothes in the laundry basket, spreading duvets flat, putting stuff in the bin or crockery back in the kitchen can really help and be started at a quite young age.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 19th Oct 16, 9:39 AM
    • 491 Posts
    • 1,098 Thanks
    AylesburyDuck
    Can i hear i chorus of...what is this relax of what you speak?
    When the baby was born, didnt the midwife hand you that little contract to sign, the one that waves your rights to any relaxing time at all untill they are at least 18.
    And thats the contract for all parents, wether they work or wether they dont.
    Joking aside, it's the perfect time to find out exactly how low some standards can be dropped to?
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
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