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  • FIRST POST
    • snowball2
    • By snowball2 13th Oct 16, 3:42 PM
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    snowball2
    Student daughter & boyfriend whats fair to ask in housekeeping?
    • #1
    • 13th Oct 16, 3:42 PM
    Student daughter & boyfriend whats fair to ask in housekeeping? 13th Oct 16 at 3:42 PM
    Me & DH have discussed it and think we should speak to them soon about making a contribution but im not sure how to approach it and what would seem fair/ground rules.

    My daughters boyfriend spends at least 75% of his time at our home, eating, showering ect (no laundry he still takes it back to his parents). He had just finished college but now has a job with an income of around £1200 a month.

    Also keeping in mind that my daughter will be finishing her A levels in July, and starting Uni in September (but living at home) and we will receive a drop in CTC and CB combined of around £300 a month, we still have 3 other children living at home so we will find it very difficult to manage financially with just the 3 school aged children never mind two extra adults in the house.

    My daughter has started a part time job which will pay around £300 a month which she will continue and she will get a a student grant/loan of around £6000 a year according to the online calculator.

    I hope this makes sense, thanks
    Trying to do it the OS way

    Gave up smoking 1 April 2006
Page 2
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 14th Oct 16, 2:21 PM
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    silvercar
    I really don't see the problem with that, it's a loan she's entitled to so why shouldn't she take it?
    Originally posted by fairy lights
    She will have to pay it back (in theory) with interest being charged on the loan from the start. If she earns sufficient she will be paying it back for a long time.

    A lot of people would not want their offspring to take out a loan to give their parents money. A way of supporting your offspring in their studies would be to not charge them to live in your home while they do so.
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 14th Oct 16, 5:02 PM
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    GwylimT
    I really don't see the problem with that, it's a loan she's entitled to so why shouldn't she take it? I'm not being snarky - I genuinely don't understand why it would be a problem?


    Edit: we can't assumer the daughter will 'splash it out', we have no idea what she will use the money for.
    Originally posted by fairy lights
    I'm also unsure how they can control an adults finances.
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 14th Oct 16, 5:30 PM
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    Jackieboy
    Do parents really charge their kids rent when they are in sixth form? Only 4 years since my youngest finished 6th form, but I didn't know any parent who did.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    Most don't but then most don't let their boyfriend shack up with them in the family home either!
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 14th Oct 16, 5:33 PM
    • 251 Posts
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    Jackieboy
    I really don't see the problem with that, it's a loan she's entitled to so why shouldn't she take it? I'm not being snarky - I genuinely don't understand why it would be a problem?


    Edit: we can't assumer the daughter will 'splash it out', we have no idea what she will use the money for.
    Originally posted by fairy lights
    She can obviously do what she likes with the loan but if she chooses to take the full amount she should really (IMO) use some of it for its intended purpose, which is to pay for her keep.
    • Judi
    • By Judi 14th Oct 16, 5:48 PM
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    Judi
    She can obviously do what she likes with the loan but if she chooses to take the full amount she should really (IMO) use some of it for its intended purpose, which is to pay for her keep.
    Originally posted by Jackieboy
    If she has taken out a student loan and isnt needing it, she really ought to be saving it towards paying her loan off early... but we are talking about kids here...
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • Kim kim
    • By Kim kim 14th Oct 16, 6:45 PM
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    Kim kim
    Me & DH have discussed it and think we should speak to them soon about making a contribution but im not sure how to approach it and what would seem fair/ground rules.

    My daughters boyfriend spends at least 75% of his time at our home, eating, showering ect (no laundry he still takes it back to his parents). He had just finished college but now has a job with an income of around £1200 a month.

    Also keeping in mind that my daughter will be finishing her A levels in July, and starting Uni in September (but living at home) and we will receive a drop in CTC and CB combined of around £300 a month, we still have 3 other children living at home so we will find it very difficult to manage financially with just the 3 school aged children never mind two extra adults in the house.

    My daughter has started a part time job which will pay around £300 a month which she will continue and she will get a a student grant/loan of around £6000 a year according to the online calculator.

    I hope this makes sense, thanks
    Originally posted by snowball2
    You get benefits for your daughter till next July - but want to charge her for housekeeping now?
    Or in August when the benefits stop?

    I think it's a bit odd charging someone who visits a lot housekeeping. I personally would rather not have a visitor in my home so much - but if you want to charge him housekeeping too maybe he'd be better off moving in & only have to pay housekeeping once.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 14th Oct 16, 9:00 PM
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    Spendless
    With all due respect and not wishing to nit pick but it wasn't clear because people (not you) are still thinking that the OP's DD is either a Uni student already or that the OP wishes to charge her sixth former from their subsequent replies on here.

    My post was quite clear that it was about when she goes to university and is planning on living at home. Should be pretty clear given the OP mentions about her going to uni, receiving student loan and at this point is where the parents stop getting CB.


    ---

    There is a difference between now, when shes in Year 13, and when she goes to university. I agree with others in that you shouldn't charge her whilst she is doing A Levels and you have CB.

    However, when this stops and she attends university, receiving maintenance loan and grant (you may want to re-check the calculator) she should either be saving it (do not recommend in the current rules), use it for maintenance (living, bills etc. like any other adult) or not take it. £30 to live at home whilst in receipt of student loans is a mickey take.
    Originally posted by Lokolo
    The student maintenance loan is for expenses, for living. So she should either be putting that towards rent, or not taking it. £30 a week is way too little if she is getting a student loan. Triple it at a minimum.
    Originally posted by Lokolo
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 14th Oct 16, 9:08 PM
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    Spendless
    The OPs daughter is currently at school/college in sixth form (yr13). She is likely to be 17 or 18 years old. She will sit her A levels in summer next year (2017). Currently the household *might* be getting child related benefits for her, eg tax credits and child benefit (depending on household income). In addition daughter has a part-time job.

    Next Autumn (2017) daughter should be going to a local Uni and living at home. At this point the OP is considering charging her DD 'housekeeping'.

    The dilemma is the working boyfriend who is currently spending a lot of time there how much or if she should charge him.
    • esmy
    • By esmy 14th Oct 16, 9:13 PM
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    esmy

    ..my daughter will be finishing her A levels in July, and starting Uni in September (but living at home) and we will receive a drop in CTC and CB combined of around £300 a month..
    Originally posted by snowball2
    From the OP, so it seems clear that parents are receiving CTC and CB for their daughter at the moment, and if their circumstances don't change, will continue to do so for the next 11 months.
    • effervescing elephant
    • By effervescing elephant 14th Oct 16, 9:19 PM
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    effervescing elephant
    Why does she need a loan if she's living at home with her parents? She'll have no rent to pay... unless mum is keen to take rent out of the loan money

    I do see your point re. the boyfriend. He should be showering and having meals at his own home or inviting your daughter round there sometimes.
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 14th Oct 16, 9:44 PM
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    Jackieboy
    Why does she need a loan if she's living at home with her parents? She'll have no rent to pay... unless mum is keen to take rent out of the loan money

    I do see your point re. the boyfriend. He should be showering and having meals at his own home or inviting your daughter round there sometimes.
    Originally posted by effervescing elephant
    As an adult, what's she going to use to pay for her food, utilities, transport, books, equipment, phone, clothes, toiletries etc? She's not going to be able to pay for all that on a £75pw part time job.

    ETA

    And, of course, some kind of social life.
    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 15th Oct 16, 6:55 AM
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    GwylimT
    Why does she need a loan if she's living at home with her parents? She'll have no rent to pay... unless mum is keen to take rent out of the loan money

    I do see your point re. the boyfriend. He should be showering and having meals at his own home or inviting your daughter round there sometimes.
    Originally posted by effervescing elephant
    Travel to uni, textbooks etc are free?
    • liney
    • By liney 15th Oct 16, 9:24 AM
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    liney
    Text books are often limited in the library, so I ended up buying my own copies of some things. I have had free transport.


    £75 a week with no board should be managable though...depending on whether she will run a car?
    "On behalf of teachers, I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense which means insert roughly into the anus of." My hero, Mr Steer.
    • effervescing elephant
    • By effervescing elephant 15th Oct 16, 12:11 PM
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    effervescing elephant
    As an adult, what's she going to use to pay for her food, utilities, transport, books, equipment, phone, clothes, toiletries etc? She's not going to be able to pay for all that on a £75pw part time job.

    ETA

    And, of course, some kind of social life.
    Originally posted by Jackieboy
    food - she lives at home, so no need to buy food
    utilities - ditto, still living with parents so no bills (unless mum chooses to bill her, or effectively the SLC/the taxpayer)
    transport can be paid for out of a part time job, as can a £5 per month giffgaff phone allowance. Clothes and toiletries, too.

    The only possible expense would be textbooks and equipment (depending on what course she's doing) but there's no way she'd need £6000 per year for that!! And you can get 2nd hand textbooks quite easily online.
    • Nicki
    • By Nicki 15th Oct 16, 12:38 PM
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    Nicki
    Second hand textbooks depend on the subject. For some subjects there are new editions every year or so, and the old editions are useless.

    My 16 year old attending sixth form college needs money for food, so an adult out all day at university definitely does. It's unreasonable to expect them to take pack ups every day and be limited to only what the parent buys.

    £6000 per annum is a pretty small amount to live on even with a top up job so I'd be amazed if she could manage on much less. My full grant when I was at university 30 years ago was £6k and prices have gone up a lot since then (admittedly I did have to pay accommodation out of this too) but I still didn't live a life of luxury as a student.
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 15th Oct 16, 1:08 PM
    • 251 Posts
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    Jackieboy
    food - she lives at home, so no need to buy food
    utilities - ditto, still living with parents so no bills
    (unless mum chooses to bill her, or effectively the SLC/the taxpayer)
    transport can be paid for out of a part time job, as can a £5 per month giffgaff phone allowance. Clothes and toiletries, too.

    The only possible expense would be textbooks and equipment (depending on what course she's doing) but there's no way she'd need £6000 per year for that!! And you can get 2nd hand textbooks quite easily online.
    Originally posted by effervescing elephant
    I really don't see why a parent should be expected to feed an adult living at home, particularly as she's already said money's going to be an issue, her share of utilities as well. She's already having to put up with another adult living in her home which is more than many of us would do.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 15th Oct 16, 3:03 PM
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    sheramber
    I considered supplying board and lodgings to my children at UNI as my contribution to supporting them with their education.

    The only household expense they had to pay was their telephone calls, which they had been doing for several years already.
    • Nicki
    • By Nicki 15th Oct 16, 8:13 PM
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    Nicki
    Full time students don't qualify for passported benefits though other than in very exceptional circumstances. So whilst JSA is around 2/3 of the student loan it comes with an entitlement to lots of other benefits and doesn't have to be paid back when you start earning again.
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 15th Oct 16, 8:18 PM
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    Jackieboy
    I considered supplying board and lodgings to my children at UNI as my contribution to supporting them with their education.

    The only household expense they had to pay was their telephone calls, which they had been doing for several years already.
    Originally posted by sheramber
    I think that's fair enough of your children don't get the full loan based on your income but if you're on a low enough income for them to get the full loan then I think they should contribute out of it.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 16th Oct 16, 12:00 PM
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    Loz01
    food - she lives at home, so no need to buy food
    utilities - ditto, still living with parents so no bills
    Originally posted by effervescing elephant
    I lived at home during Uni and wouldn't have dreamed of paying nothing for 3 years to help my Mum out! If you're 18/19/20 years old and have a 2/3k loan you should be paying board, she'd be paying a heck of a lot if she was living in halls.
    Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity..
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