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  • FIRST POST
    • BettyBoof
    • By BettyBoof 13th Oct 16, 3:41 PM
    • 209Posts
    • 1,347Thanks
    BettyBoof
    Would you work away from home for double your salary?
    • #1
    • 13th Oct 16, 3:41 PM
    Would you work away from home for double your salary? 13th Oct 16 at 3:41 PM
    My DH has the opportunity of a job with interesting work, great benefits and double his current salary - the downside is that he'd be working away from home four to five days a week. There would be some occasions where he wasn't away and would be working from home instead, but it looks like the four to five days away is the norm (hence the salary). He wouldn't be working in one place so we don't have the option of relocating.

    Our first reaction was "no way" as we have young kids but having talked some more we are wondering if we see it as a short-term thing (one to two years max) in order to get us to a point of financial stability if it's something we could cope with. We are currently doing okay financially - but just okay - and still have some debts and almost no savings. Our pensions are a bit iffy too so although that's a while off yet, it is something we'd like to save for now.

    No decision has been made (and we are still leaning towards the no side) but I'd love to hear some opinions/experiences please to help us consider all the options.
    £1000 Emergency fund #120 = £650 (65%)
Page 3
    • Takeaway_Addict
    • By Takeaway_Addict 14th Oct 16, 1:33 PM
    • 5,389 Posts
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    Takeaway_Addict
    Why don't you try it for a week with him moving to a cheap hotel and not coming home till the Friday night?

    Not a complete comparison but would give a better insight on how things may work for both parties?
    Don't trust a forum for advice. Get proper paid advice. Any advice given should always be checked
    • SilverMist
    • By SilverMist 14th Oct 16, 1:41 PM
    • 24 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    SilverMist
    My other half is an electrician and in his old job would work away quite a bit but not regularly. This was when my daughter was a baby so I found it difficult.

    Now she's 6, he has had a different job for a couple of years and until 6 months ago was always working 'local' (although that to him means an hour away at least). Earlier this year a job started 4 hours away so he has worked away Monday (5am) to Friday teatime pretty much consistently since then. I have always done nursery or school run anyway as he starts a lot earlier than I do so this isnt affected. Before this, he worked 12 hour days and usually a Saturday so is never around that much I guess??

    Two complications we had were that we had got a puppy at easter (I only work three days and had sorted a pet service for those days). I then became ill with a neurological condition that causes severe symptoms and I have actually been off sick since, awaiting further meds/possible surgery.

    He didn't get a choice about working away as that's where the job is. I was upset at first. But you know after the first few weeks, when I adjusted to the loopy puppy and feeling so ill I actually PREFER it! I can be as antisocial as I like in the evening, I have less cleaning up to do (well now we have house trained the dog!), treats I buy stay in the cupboard lol, he doesn't usually work Saturdays now so we benefit from quality time. My daughter found it hard after the first few months but is not fazed at all now although I did push that he had to give her some one on one time at the weekend no matter how much he wanted to chill. We speak to him every evening, send silly photos and videos, he makes a point of taking her swimming or doing something just with her. The dog misses him more!! If I'd known I was going to get ill we would have waited before getting the puppy but he is company for us!

    The working away is going to continue for a few more months at least and it doesn't bother me at all. If I have to have surgery that's a different story!! I do have my mum round the corner and we go to my sister-in-law once or twice a week but that's for company, they don't do any of the practical stuff if you see what I mean. If he goes local again, it will be better for my daughter obviously and for walking the dog (I'm not able to every day although I try most days) but I think he'd get under my feet lol. Hope that helps.
    When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life you have 1000 reasons to smile
    • BettyBoof
    • By BettyBoof 15th Oct 16, 11:02 AM
    • 209 Posts
    • 1,347 Thanks
    BettyBoof
    Thank you all so much for sharing your perspectives - the points you are raising both negative and positive are some of the things we are discussing at the moment as well as giving us new things to consider.

    To answer some questions:

    Our marriage is really strong and we communicate well. We definitely talk rather than sit and brood so that will help us I think. My DH would be okay with the fact that he'd need to pitch in at weekends, even if he was tired and I'd be okay with trying to minimise the mundane stuff so we could relax and have fun as a family.

    My DH does a lot around the house and is a great Dad so I will feel his absence sharply in that respect. I'll miss him from a personal perspective too but I'm an independent person and don't mind my own company so will be okay with watching TV/reading/pottering in the evenings. Plus I can meet friends for coffee during the day so will have adult conversation.

    The job is UK-only so no international travel to contend with though long train journeys can be tiring.

    If I wasn't coping/happy with the situation my DH would drop the job in a heartbeat, I'm 100% confident of that. Likewise if he hated it I'd be totally happy with him quitting (after finding something else of course!) He could fairly easily find contract work in his field, securing a permanent role would take longer.

    We just bought a nice house in a nice area and we are doing okay month to month. The thing that is missing is financial security and that is very important to us. We know from experience that life can change in a moment and that a nest egg can help lessen the impact of that. That said, I think we will eventually get to that place of financial security without a job like this, it will just take a lot longer.

    One thing that will be the killer is if the job is 9am Mon to 5pm Friday

    Add the travel and the weekend is gone if the location is quite a way.

    If there is a bit of flexibility so you can at least get 3 full evenings at home and 2 days it can be a lot more tolerable.

    if he is in the same location fairly regularly and it is predictable and interesting he can build up the knowledge base so that you and the kids can have long weekends full weeks when there is no school.
    The other advantage of this is hubby does not have to travel those weekends and that makes a big difference.

    It also does not have to be hotels all the time which can get a bit soul destroying, sites like AirBnB have made accommodation options much easier to find, either short term room lets, apartments or even full houses.

    Military families deal with this sort of thing on regular basis but if it is something you have never experienced in you life it can be little difficult adapting.

    The up side is a couple of years of seriously good money could knock 5 years off retirement age.
    Originally posted by getmore4less
    This could be the sticking point - if he has to eat into his weekends to get somewhere for 9am Monday morning then he won't take the job. Being away Mon to Thur and often Mon to Fri is hard enough without losing some of the precious weekend as well. AirBnB is a great idea to make things feel a bit more homely for him and us visiting for a long weekend would be great too - give him a week without travel and all of us the opportunity for more quality time.

    DH has a two month notice period and the role doesn't start until the new year so the company are sounding him out rather than pushing for an answer which is good as it gives us time to talk through all the options. There's still some stuff we don't know too - like benefits and how much flexibility there will be around setting up his own meetings (e.g. 10am in Aberdeen rather than 9am!) so we'll see what happens.
    £1000 Emergency fund #120 = £650 (65%)
    • Jackieboy
    • By Jackieboy 15th Oct 16, 11:10 AM
    • 251 Posts
    • 397 Thanks
    Jackieboy
    Re the travelling - do you live centrally to the rest of the country with decent rail connections available? Would the new company pay for air travel rather than rail when long distances are involved?
    • JemmaBe
    • By JemmaBe 16th Oct 16, 10:28 AM
    • 225 Posts
    • 1,021 Thanks
    JemmaBe
    Really appreciate all your insights. We definitely don't want it to be a long-term plan.

    I am fairly self-sufficient but I know I'll get fed up of always being the one to put the bins out/put petrol in the car/deal with minor repairs around the house. Plus all the kid stuff which my DH currently helps with. In a lot of ways it's as much about the person left at home as the one who goes away.
    Originally posted by BettyBoof
    With the extra money, could you pay for some help around the house?
    I'm in this situation, and hiring a cleaner (who does the bins etc.) has made no end of difference.
    • motorguy
    • By motorguy 16th Oct 16, 10:43 AM
    • 13,833 Posts
    • 7,345 Thanks
    motorguy
    With the extra money, could you pay for some help around the house?
    I'm in this situation, and hiring a cleaner (who does the bins etc.) has made no end of difference.
    Originally posted by JemmaBe
    +1

    We've a cleaner who comes in which has helped greatly.

    Also, i leave my shirts to a launderette close to work, so i'm not having to bring home shirts to wash and iron. Not so easy if you're moving between sites around the country though.
    Regards

    Paul
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 16th Oct 16, 6:05 PM
    • 36,817 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    We did it for a while when the boys were at Primary School. We were planning to move, DH managed to get a job with his company's 'other' office before we did so, so he left home at silly o'clock on a Monday and came home late on a Friday.
    From his perspective, how demanding will be the job? Will it be a case of coming home totally exhausted from his week and desperately needing to rest rather than picking up chores that you were not able to do during the week.
    Originally posted by FBaby
    He was exhausted by it: he was staying with a friend during the week, but his commute to the job was longer than it had been, and he hated the weekly commutes. If using the train had been an option it might not have been so bad.

    I had a very strong support network of friends, so for me it was not so bad. I did have to get used to not being able to leave things for him to do at the weekend, because they often didn't get done ...

    Also, i leave my shirts to a launderette close to work, so i'm not having to bring home shirts to wash and iron.
    Originally posted by motorguy
    Ah yes, the laundry, and the constant packing and unpacking. I got DH to do his laundry while at our friend's house to reduce that.

    Not so easy if you're moving between sites around the country though.
    Originally posted by motorguy
    True, so if the laundry can't be done while he's away, get what he'll need for next week washed and packed up during the week, and swap it for the dirty stuff as soon as he gets home. If that means buying more shirts and socks, so be it ...

    One tip, if you go for this, would be to get duplicates of toiletries so packing and unpacking becomes a simple matter rather than one which requires a lot of thought. Two toothbrushes, two razors, two sets of toiletries.

    Another thought: as well as a cleaner, would a gardener be useful? At least when the spring comes, to keep the garden tidy?
    I'm a Board Guide on the Cutting Tax; Charities; Small Biz & Charity Organisers; and Silver Savers boards, which means I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. However, do remember, Board Guides don't read every post. If you spot an inappropriate or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. It is not part of my role to deal with reportable posts.

    Any views are mine and are not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com
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    • BettyBoof
    • By BettyBoof 16th Oct 16, 6:33 PM
    • 209 Posts
    • 1,347 Thanks
    BettyBoof
    Jackieboy we are northern rather than central so while the rail links are pretty good, the journeys are long. I'm not sure about air travel but it's a possibility - I'll get DH to ask the question.

    Thanks for all the tips, I think is a cleaner is a great idea, I hate "domestic duties" so would be happy to hand them over. Buying more shirts and socks a must-have, I don't want to do more laundry than I already do, especially at weekends! I guess if DH was in the same hotel for three nights he could get some laundry done there.

    I might get a gardener to give the garden a major tidy up come spring to make it easier for me to keep on top of it - I will still leave the mowing to DH I think!
    £1000 Emergency fund #120 = £650 (65%)
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 16th Oct 16, 8:18 PM
    • 36,817 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    I might get a gardener to give the garden a major tidy up come spring to make it easier for me to keep on top of it - I will still leave the mowing to DH I think!
    Originally posted by BettyBoof
    It is the mowing which motivated us to get a gardener ... I find it too difficult, plus it flares my hayfever. DH struggles with it too, and (for reasons which need not detain us here) needs to go the gym for a sauna afterwards. So we found we needed a fine day after a couple of days when it hadn't rained, when DH had an hour to cut the grass plus a couple of hours for the gym afterwards. Trying to cram that into a weekend was no fun, and if the weather wasn't good then that just meant the job would be more difficult next weekend or the weekend after.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Cutting Tax; Charities; Small Biz & Charity Organisers; and Silver Savers boards, which means I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. However, do remember, Board Guides don't read every post. If you spot an inappropriate or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. It is not part of my role to deal with reportable posts.

    Any views are mine and are not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com
    Still knitting! Current projects: 2 shawls, 2 pairs baby bootees,
    1 Wise Man Knitivity figure ...
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