Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Andrew Ryan 89
    • By Andrew Ryan 89 10th Oct 16, 3:12 PM
    • 407Posts
    • 237Thanks
    Andrew Ryan 89
    The Agony Aunt Thread
    • #1
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:12 PM
    The Agony Aunt Thread 10th Oct 16 at 3:12 PM
    Hey guys, instead of creating a whole new thread I thought it could be a decent idea to have a thread for small questions and opinions.

    I just wanted to know whether I was in the wrong about something. My girlfriend and I are not the best sleepers. I have trouble falling to sleep and my girlfriend won't feel too good if she does not go to bed early. Recently I have started snoring for some reason. My girlfriend will constantly wake me up when I snore as she says it wakes her up and she can't sleep. Yesterday it got ridiculous. It felt like every 20 minutes as I was drifting off she will shake me and wake me up. This happened at least 15 times yesterday and I woke up feeling so bad.

    I spoke to her about this and it caused a little argument. I mentioned the fact that she -
    1. Goes to bed very early which means I have to go bed early too and then can't sleep because I am not tired
    2. Constantly wakes up and numerous times in the night to go to the toilet waking me up
    3. Has bad nightmares and turns on the light in the middle of the night waking me up
    4. Sleeps in the middle of the bed pushing me to the very end

    In all these situations I try to talk to her and or deal with it. Never do I disturb her in her sleep especially knowing she won't feel good in the morning. I don't know how bad my snoring is but the fact she feels no way to constantly wake me up the second I snore instead of trying to go to sleep with the snoring. Also. I am even more upset that when I try to speak to her about it, I am essentially ignored, dismissed and the behavior continues.

    EDIT: I think it will be a good idea if anyone has a new question that they type in bold.
    Last edited by Andrew Ryan 89; 12-10-2016 at 7:03 PM.
Page 1
    • Andypandyboy
    • By Andypandyboy 10th Oct 16, 3:13 PM
    • 2,291 Posts
    • 5,835 Thanks
    Andypandyboy
    • #2
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:13 PM
    • #2
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:13 PM
    Why do you have to go to bed at the same time as her if you are not tired?
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 10th Oct 16, 3:16 PM
    • 7,574 Posts
    • 33,806 Thanks
    tea lover
    • #3
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:16 PM
    • #3
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:16 PM
    So you're interfering with the sleep of a pregnant woman and looking for back-up?
    • hollydays
    • By hollydays 10th Oct 16, 3:18 PM
    • 14,582 Posts
    • 10,377 Thanks
    hollydays
    • #4
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:18 PM
    • #4
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:18 PM
    Go to the doctor to get your snoring investigated.
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 10th Oct 16, 3:18 PM
    • 3,593 Posts
    • 7,066 Thanks
    marliepanda
    • #5
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:18 PM
    • #5
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:18 PM
    In this situation, surely the best idea is separate bedrooms (if your property allows for it)

    Neither of you are getting any comfort or enjoyment from sleeping in the same bed.
    Suvery Earnings 2016 - £188
    • Guest101
    • By Guest101 10th Oct 16, 3:21 PM
    • 11,958 Posts
    • 11,406 Thanks
    Guest101
    • #6
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:21 PM
    • #6
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:21 PM
    I thought OP was married??
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 10th Oct 16, 3:23 PM
    • 250 Posts
    • 338 Thanks
    beckysbobbles1
    • #7
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:23 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:23 PM
    Have I missed the pregnant part?? Either way I think you both need to learn to compromise.


    Why do you need to go to bed at the same time? It might even be better to go to be later, that way your girlfriend will hopefully be asleep fully by the time you get into bed and start snoring.


    There's lots of things you can do to help the snoring. Don't sleep on your back, try nasal sprays and even bands that go on your wrist to help stop snoring. Also your girlfriend could wear earplugs.


    I think the main issue here is not the snoring but the lack of communication between each other. You might be talking but it doesn't sound like each other is listening.


    There are lots of different solutions here, just try working through them together.
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 3:23 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 239 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:23 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:23 PM
    I think this harks back to the thread where you said you weigh 20 stone! Try losing some weight, it may well help with the snoring.
    • fairy lights
    • By fairy lights 10th Oct 16, 3:33 PM
    • 6,423 Posts
    • 20,452 Thanks
    fairy lights
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:33 PM
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:33 PM
    Have you tried nasal strips to help with the snoring? Or considered losing some weight?
    Your pregnant girlfriend needing to pee is hardly her fault so I don't know why you'd bring that in to your argument.
    • GBNI
    • By GBNI 10th Oct 16, 3:38 PM
    • 469 Posts
    • 689 Thanks
    GBNI
    Worth seeing the doctor about your snoring. OH and I often sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring.
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 10th Oct 16, 3:40 PM
    • 9,475 Posts
    • 21,064 Thanks
    suki1964
    Is your wife not concerned about you sleeping with the girlfriend?

    Why do you need to go to bed the same time as anybody? You are not a child, you decide your own bed time

    My husband sleeps in the middle of the bed, nicks my pillow, blah blah, we just bought a super kingsize so I've still got room

    You will have more problems as your wife gets bigger further along the pregnancy so get a bigger bed now or twin beds

    Oh and losing the weight will help with the snoring. A sleep mask will help with the light when she's having to switch the lamp on
    if you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 10th Oct 16, 3:43 PM
    • 250 Posts
    • 338 Thanks
    beckysbobbles1
    I think this harks back to the thread where you said you weigh 20 stone! Try losing some weight, it may well help with the snoring.
    Originally posted by .Gigolo Aunt

    What is wrong with people one forums?? Would you say that to someone face to face? How about using some tact instead of abusing people.
    • fairy lights
    • By fairy lights 10th Oct 16, 3:47 PM
    • 6,423 Posts
    • 20,452 Thanks
    fairy lights
    What is wrong with people one forums?? Would you say that to someone face to face? How about using some tact instead of abusing people.
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1
    What's abusive about that?
    Being overweight is a major cause of snoring, particularly in men:
    http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/snoring_causes/are_you_overweight.php
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 3:48 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 239 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    What is wrong with people one forums?? Would you say that to someone face to face? How about using some tact instead of abusing people.
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1
    Becksybobbles the OP is known to start troll threads, telling different stories about himself on different occasions. I have no idea if he's really 20 stone, but you might want to take a look at his other threads before accusing people of being 'abusive'!
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 10th Oct 16, 3:52 PM
    • 250 Posts
    • 338 Thanks
    beckysbobbles1
    Becksybobbles the OP is known to start troll threads, telling different stories about himself on different occasions. I have no idea if he's really 20 stone, but you might want to take a look at his other threads before accusing people of being 'abusive'!
    Originally posted by .Gigolo Aunt

    Actually I don't feel the need to go searching through peoples past posts. If I want to comment on a thread, I comment on the content. No need to play detective!!
    • psychopathbabble
    • By psychopathbabble 10th Oct 16, 3:54 PM
    • 5,856 Posts
    • 38,806 Thanks
    psychopathbabble
    The OP can't seem to decide if he has a wife or girlfriend (both?), and while the girlfriend likes to go to sleep early on this thread, she also has a higher libido according to a previous thread and he doesn't want to do anything at 10pm at night as he is too tired.

    Became Mrs Scotland 16.01.16 Became homeowners 26.02.16 Baby girl arrived 27.10.16


    Debt Paid = £5040.27/£12,185.99 (41% paid off)
    RBS CC RBS LOAN MBNA 1 MBNA 2 BED FINANCE
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 3:55 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 239 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    Actually I don't feel the need to go searching through peoples past posts. If I want to comment on a thread, I comment on the content. No need to play detective!!
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1
    I don't play Sherlock, either, but I do remember this one!
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 10th Oct 16, 3:56 PM
    • 9,475 Posts
    • 21,064 Thanks
    suki1964
    What is wrong with people one forums?? Would you say that to someone face to face? How about using some tact instead of abusing people.
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1

    What's abusive about that?

    If the poster were to see the GP, the first bit of advice would be lose weight, quit the drink and the smokes
    if you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 10th Oct 16, 3:57 PM
    • 9,475 Posts
    • 21,064 Thanks
    suki1964
    The OP can't seem to decide if he has a wife or girlfriend (both?), and while the girlfriend likes to go to sleep early on this thread, she also has a higher libido according to a previous thread and he doesn't want to do anything at 10pm at night as he is too tired.
    Originally posted by psychopathbabble
    He does keep tripping up on that bridge of his
    if you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 10th Oct 16, 4:00 PM
    • 486 Posts
    • 1,093 Thanks
    AylesburyDuck
    Ear plugs, buy her some. My husband is a snorer of epic proportions, if we stay anywhere people comment on it, its the only thing that has saved my sanity.
    Oh and yes, for the sake of your own health, dont complaint about a pregnant womans toilet trips, or sleeping on the edge of the bed will be the least of your worrys.
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

412Posts Today

2,652Users online

Martin's Twitter