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  • FIRST POST
    • bookemdano
    • By bookemdano 8th Oct 16, 11:27 PM
    • 2,509Posts
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    bookemdano
    Feeling utterly lonely.
    • #1
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:27 PM
    Feeling utterly lonely. 8th Oct 16 at 11:27 PM
    Ok so I'm almost 44 so surely I shouldn't feel or act like I do?
    My ex walked out on me just over a year ago and I honestly don't know why.....she told me she was unhappy but never gave me a chance to find out why. Anyway fast forward to present day, I met this gorgeous, friendly woman on a dating site and we just seem to click. Only been dating a few weeks but over the last few days she has virtually stopped contact. I know I should just get over it but I'm really hurt, confused and I feel so lonely. 😞😞
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings



Page 1
    • Tipsntreats
    • By Tipsntreats 8th Oct 16, 11:31 PM
    • 1,904 Posts
    • 3,322 Thanks
    Tipsntreats
    • #2
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:31 PM
    • #2
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:31 PM
    She was fickle, so better off without her. Don't be lonely. I am sure I saw a dating site somewhere on this forum. You are not old.
    Please list me all your good qualities. I bet there are many.
    Tips x
    Money, money, money
    Must be funny
    • Judi
    • By Judi 8th Oct 16, 11:36 PM
    • 13,731 Posts
    • 53,447 Thanks
    Judi
    • #3
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:36 PM
    • #3
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:36 PM
    Don't be sad. Your very good looking.

    Her loss.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
    • bookemdano
    • By bookemdano 8th Oct 16, 11:37 PM
    • 2,509 Posts
    • 6,361 Thanks
    bookemdano
    • #4
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:37 PM
    • #4
    • 8th Oct 16, 11:37 PM
    She was fickle, so better off without her. Don't be lonely. I am sure I saw a dating site somewhere on this forum. You are not old.
    Please list me all your good qualities. I bet there are many.
    Tips x
    Originally posted by Tipsntreats
    Well I think I'm easy going, would help anyone out if I could, daft sense of humour.
    The thing is I wear my heart on my sleeve and I expect people to treat me in the same way I treat them. I come home every night to an empty house apart from my cats. Just for a while I was happy that someone was interested in me. I just haven't the energy anymore.
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings



    • Tipsntreats
    • By Tipsntreats 9th Oct 16, 12:04 AM
    • 1,904 Posts
    • 3,322 Thanks
    Tipsntreats
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 16, 12:04 AM
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 16, 12:04 AM
    You sound like a wonderful person. I am sure that you need to wait a little, as otherwise it will be on the rebound. You WILL be happy again.
    I will post tomorrow as I have had far too much to drink, and may give drunken stupid advice.
    Don't be sad, and sweet dreams.
    Tips x
    Money, money, money
    Must be funny
    • Mista_C
    • By Mista_C 9th Oct 16, 12:20 AM
    • 1,448 Posts
    • 3,005 Thanks
    Mista_C
    • #6
    • 9th Oct 16, 12:20 AM
    • #6
    • 9th Oct 16, 12:20 AM
    Ok so I'm almost 44 so surely I shouldn't feel or act like I do?
    My ex walked out on me just over a year ago and I honestly don't know why.....she told me she was unhappy but never gave me a chance to find out why.
    Originally posted by bookemdano
    She was unhappy. As much as it's frustrating not to know perhaps it's not yours to reason why? Perhaps she never really knew the reasons herself, she just was. It doesn't necessarily mean she was unhappy with you, maybe just life in general and she felt she needed to change aspects of her life to move beyond that.

    I'd just take it at face value and move on. Easier said than done maybe but you could go insane trying to figure out all the reasons why by yourself.

    Anyway fast forward to present day, I met this gorgeous, friendly woman on a dating site and we just seem to click. Only been dating a few weeks but over the last few days she has virtually stopped contact. I know I should just get over it but I'm really hurt, confused and I feel so lonely. 😞😞
    Have you tried contacting her, even just to see if she's OK? There could be any number of reasons her contact has diminished but if you're still feeling raw from your previous relationship you could be assuming the worst.

    Possibly get in touch with her but just remember, especially if feeling hurt, that you've got to respect any choices she makes and accept the way things play out.

    Why should you just get over it anyway? You obviously felt there was a connection there and now you're wondering what happened. It sounds like it's come as a bit of shock and that takes a bit of time to process.

    Whatever the outcome you just need to remember that you're you. If someone can't handle that then it's just not going to work.
    The loneliness is not that you've just not met someone, you've just not met the right someone.
    • Missli
    • By Missli 9th Oct 16, 11:50 AM
    • 6,758 Posts
    • 16,185 Thanks
    Missli
    • #7
    • 9th Oct 16, 11:50 AM
    • #7
    • 9th Oct 16, 11:50 AM
    Ok so I'm almost 44 so surely I shouldn't feel or act like I do?
    My ex walked out on me just over a year ago and I honestly don't know why.....she told me she was unhappy but never gave me a chance to find out why. Anyway fast forward to present day, I met this gorgeous, friendly woman on a dating site and we just seem to click. Only been dating a few weeks but over the last few days she has virtually stopped contact. I know I should just get over it but I'm really hurt, confused and I feel so lonely. ����
    Originally posted by bookemdano
    Try to keep some of yourself back. Try doing something you enjoy rather than make someone the focus of all your attention. You need to feel happy and confident in yourself first before getting back to dating. Wearing your heart on your sleeve although admirable only leaves you open to being disappointed.

    A few weeks isn't long, so try put it behind you. Try going out with friends. I hope you feel better in yourself soon.
    • Tipsntreats
    • By Tipsntreats 9th Oct 16, 2:27 PM
    • 1,904 Posts
    • 3,322 Thanks
    Tipsntreats
    • #8
    • 9th Oct 16, 2:27 PM
    • #8
    • 9th Oct 16, 2:27 PM
    Free Dating Sites: Tips to date free or cheaply - MSE
    www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/free-dating-sites

    I knew I saw one. How are things today bookemdano?
    Tips x
    Money, money, money
    Must be funny
    • Nomoonatall
    • By Nomoonatall 9th Oct 16, 5:35 PM
    • 1,132 Posts
    • 2,885 Thanks
    Nomoonatall
    • #9
    • 9th Oct 16, 5:35 PM
    • #9
    • 9th Oct 16, 5:35 PM
    Well I think I'm easy going, would help anyone out if I could, daft sense of humour.
    The thing is I wear my heart on my sleeve and I expect people to treat me in the same way I treat them. I come home every night to an empty house apart from my cats. Just for a while I was happy that someone was interested in me. I just haven't the energy anymore.
    Originally posted by bookemdano
    At least you have the cats. I'm sure they show affection, particularly at feeding time. x
    • Murphybear
    • By Murphybear 9th Oct 16, 6:32 PM
    • 2,497 Posts
    • 5,132 Thanks
    Murphybear
    Ok so I'm almost 44 so surely I shouldn't feel or act like I do?
    My ex walked out on me just over a year ago and I honestly don't know why.....she told me she was unhappy but never gave me a chance to find out why. Anyway fast forward to present day, I met this gorgeous, friendly woman on a dating site and we just seem to click. Only been dating a few weeks but over the last few days she has virtually stopped contact. I know I should just get over it but I'm really hurt, confused and I feel so lonely. 😞😞
    Originally posted by bookemdano
    You are not old

    My OH and I met through a singles group in London. I was 44 and he was 48. This year is our 20th anniversary. . Still engaged but not married, still fight like cat and dog but still happy. You will find someone
    • Missli
    • By Missli 9th Oct 16, 6:54 PM
    • 6,758 Posts
    • 16,185 Thanks
    Missli
    That's why I mentioned he needed to be content in himself as there seems to be issues. No point dating again unless he's emotionally better, as if he can't handle himself, he won't be able to cope with other people in his life.
    Last edited by MSE ForumTeam3; 11-10-2016 at 11:40 AM. Reason: Quoting deleted post
    • bookemdano
    • By bookemdano 10th Oct 16, 6:14 PM
    • 2,509 Posts
    • 6,361 Thanks
    bookemdano
    Free Dating Sites: Tips to date free or cheaply - MSE
    www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/free-dating-sites

    I knew I saw one. How are things today bookemdano?
    Tips x
    Originally posted by Tipsntreats
    I feel a little better. She has responded to my what'sapp message. I asked her if anything was wrong etc but she said to stop worrying.
    She runs a care agency and is currently working 24/7 looking after a terminally ill woman so I put her lack of contact to being busy. I just have to try and trust her although past experience makes it difficult to trust.
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings



    • bookemdano
    • By bookemdano 10th Oct 16, 6:16 PM
    • 2,509 Posts
    • 6,361 Thanks
    bookemdano
    I was waiting for that to be brought up. It's something I'm not proud of and would never repeat. I can't defend my actions at all.
    Last edited by MSE ForumTeam3; 11-10-2016 at 11:42 AM. Reason: Quoting deleted post
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings



    • Nomoonatall
    • By Nomoonatall 10th Oct 16, 6:19 PM
    • 1,132 Posts
    • 2,885 Thanks
    Nomoonatall
    Good luck Bookemdano, hope you get yourself sorted.
    • OldMotherTucker
    • By OldMotherTucker 11th Oct 16, 6:04 AM
    • 5,583 Posts
    • 12,002 Thanks
    OldMotherTucker
    I'm not dredging up an old thread about a bad relationship - we've all had them

    All you can do is move on and not repeat the same mistakes.

    OP - don't focus everything on being in a relationship. Your happiness can't be dependent on another person - the txts and whatsapps should be the icing on the cake for you not what you sit around waiting for and angsting over!
    I don't know the future but the past looks clearer every day
    • Judi
    • By Judi 11th Oct 16, 7:01 AM
    • 13,731 Posts
    • 53,447 Thanks
    Judi
    OP learn by past mistakes and be patient.
    'Holy crap on a cracker!'
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