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  • FIRST POST
    • Bryando
    • By Bryando 7th Oct 16, 3:54 PM
    • 1,367Posts
    • 413Thanks
    Bryando
    Work and ill-health
    • #1
    • 7th Oct 16, 3:54 PM
    Work and ill-health 7th Oct 16 at 3:54 PM
    Hi,

    I took ill behind the wheel whilst working- mental health wise and taking up to hospital. I think DVLA will be informed though was not uttered. If they do, I assume they will revoke. Currently have a medical resticted licence.

    So I will lose my temp job as it's a driving role. Therefore back to being a failure! My partner works and I would not be able to claim ESA- not worked long enough for contribution ESA. Therefore I would rely only on my DLA income .

    This was my second job in 9 years as for the past 9 years been battling mental health. Got myself back and at uni part time. Thought it was good. But my mood has collided with work- usually I can hide as I did not need to interact outside! But my mood was so low that I considered ending it. Then realised I might end another with me- so instigated help via Ambulance.

    So now I have to rely on my partner to keep me as I will only get under £400 a month. So that is making me feel really really bad. I feel awkward to phone my work place. They are aware but not the full circumstances. I just can't see myself walk back into that building as I feel mortified and already folk will be talking.

    No idea why I am posting to be honest. At the edge of a cliff they way I feel.
Page 1
    • cr1mson
    • By cr1mson 7th Oct 16, 4:41 PM
    • 717 Posts
    • 530 Thanks
    cr1mson
    • #2
    • 7th Oct 16, 4:41 PM
    • #2
    • 7th Oct 16, 4:41 PM
    Couldn't read and run. Please speak to someone Samaritans or if you have other professionals involved them too. You are not a failure you are someone with a health issue.
    • Nomoonatall
    • By Nomoonatall 7th Oct 16, 4:56 PM
    • 1,132 Posts
    • 2,885 Thanks
    Nomoonatall
    • #3
    • 7th Oct 16, 4:56 PM
    • #3
    • 7th Oct 16, 4:56 PM
    Hi,

    I took ill behind the wheel whilst working- mental health wise and taking up to hospital. I think DVLA will be informed though was not uttered. If they do, I assume they will revoke. Currently have a medical resticted licence.

    So I will lose my temp job as it's a driving role. Therefore back to being a failure! My partner works and I would not be able to claim ESA- not worked long enough for contribution ESA. Therefore I would rely only on my DLA income .

    This was my second job in 9 years as for the past 9 years been battling mental health. Got myself back and at uni part time. Thought it was good. But my mood has collided with work- usually I can hide as I did not need to interact outside! But my mood was so low that I considered ending it. Then realised I might end another with me- so instigated help via Ambulance.

    So now I have to rely on my partner to keep me as I will only get under £400 a month. So that is making me feel really really bad. I feel awkward to phone my work place. They are aware but not the full circumstances. I just can't see myself walk back into that building as I feel mortified and already folk will be talking.

    No idea why I am posting to be honest. At the edge of a cliff they way I feel.
    Originally posted by Bryando
    Go to your doc, to see what caused this. Get referred to your nearest hospital for an assessment. Go to your local CAB, to see what help you can get.

    You may get more help than you think.

    I really wish you well x
    • baby_lemonade
    • By baby_lemonade 7th Oct 16, 4:58 PM
    • 713 Posts
    • 1,464 Thanks
    baby_lemonade
    • #4
    • 7th Oct 16, 4:58 PM
    • #4
    • 7th Oct 16, 4:58 PM
    Self pity won't get you anywhere.

    You can't drive, obviously but there must be some job you can do?

    You should be entitled to ESA if you are too incapacitated to work. Don't let media scare stories put you off - claim what's yours.
    • Jojo the Tightfisted
    • By Jojo the Tightfisted 9th Oct 16, 4:05 PM
    • 21,283 Posts
    • 81,856 Thanks
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 16, 4:05 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Oct 16, 4:05 PM
    Self pity won't get you anywhere.

    You can't drive, obviously but there must be some job you can do?

    You should be entitled to ESA if you are too incapacitated to work. Don't let media scare stories put you off - claim what's yours.
    Originally posted by baby_lemonade
    I wouldn't call suicidal feelings self pity - nor would I the impact of realising a pre existing severe illness has returned (if I remember correctly, Bryando has a history of a serious mental illness that has necessitated hospitalisation in the past).


    Bryando, you're naturally distressed and embarrassed - but you did the right thing in seeking help immediately. I would be proud that you did that, rather than pretended it wasn't happening until it had got far, far worse. Now you need to concentrate on treatment - you can get your OH to contact work for you with your sicknote and explanation - it could be that they will try to find you another position within the company that doesn't involve driving. Maybe they won't/can't - but it doesn't hurt to ask - and giving them the information gives them the chance to think about it, whereas not explaining it to HR means that they won't be able to.

    You'll manage. At least you are able to contribute £400/m to the household - you're doing what you can, and nobody can criticise you for doing that.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
    • UKTigerlily
    • By UKTigerlily 9th Oct 16, 7:40 PM
    • 4,215 Posts
    • 5,190 Thanks
    UKTigerlily
    • #6
    • 9th Oct 16, 7:40 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Oct 16, 7:40 PM
    Far from self pity, if someone faced losing a job due to cancer returning, after they'd been out of work for ages & had been able to get back into it, would that too be self pity?!

    OP already explained they can't claim ESA, so not sure why that was mentioned.

    OP, I understand how you feel & please find someone to talk to. There is something called The Richmond Fellowship but i'm not sure if they are in all areas or not. They are mental health though, nothing else.

    Maybe your employer would have a different area for you to work in for now? It's worth asking. I hope things improve x
    2015 weight loss: 86/100Ibs
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 2:31 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 240 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    • #7
    • 10th Oct 16, 2:31 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Oct 16, 2:31 PM
    My partner works and I would not be able to claim ESA- not worked long enough for contribution ESA. Therefore I would rely only on my DLA income .
    Originally posted by Bryando
    Are you absolutely sure about this? ESA is not contributions-based. Try asking over on the benefits board.

    Things may seem bleak at the moment, but this will change if you start to take some positive steps to change your situation.
    • teddysmum
    • By teddysmum 10th Oct 16, 3:24 PM
    • 5,865 Posts
    • 3,461 Thanks
    teddysmum
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:24 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:24 PM
    Are you absolutely sure about this? ESA is not contributions-based. Try asking over on the benefits board.
    Originally posted by .Gigolo Aunt


    But his partner works, so this would affect income based.


    One way to make up to his partner for his 'keep' is to take over all housework. There is no rule that says the man should work and the woman manage a home.
    • .Gigolo Aunt
    • By .Gigolo Aunt 10th Oct 16, 3:32 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 240 Thanks
    .Gigolo Aunt
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:32 PM
    • #9
    • 10th Oct 16, 3:32 PM
    But his partner works, so this would affect income based.


    One way to make up to his partner for his 'keep' is to take over all housework. There is no rule that says the man should work and the woman manage a home.
    Originally posted by teddysmum
    Absolutely! He'll be in her good books if he does the cooking and cleaning so that she doesn't have to.
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