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    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 21st Sep 16, 5:26 PM
    • 262Posts
    • 790Thanks
    debbie_debt
    It's my fault, so it's my responsibility. Time to take it.
    • #1
    • 21st Sep 16, 5:26 PM
    It's my fault, so it's my responsibility. Time to take it. 21st Sep 16 at 5:26 PM
    I've had a huge lightbulb moment today. After years of battling with debt, and thinking I've had many many lightbulb moment, I've suddenly realised something. My debt is no-one else's fault. Whilst that probably seems obvious (I always knew the money was being spent) I've realised it's not the kid's needs making me spend; it's not my husband going out on the !!!! and it's not necessary to keep up with the Jones's.

    Two months ago, in an effort to start paying off the debt, I completely changed the way we organise our family finances. It involves me and hubby having £150 each spending money (clothes, haircuts, lunches, nights out, birthday pressies, workplace collections. everything). We get this in cash and the bank accounts don't get touched. My OH has stuck to it 100% and I've been secretly spending on CCs. None of the spending was on my - it was all on the kids or stuff I felt was obligatory, like wedding presents, birthday presents, travelling to an Italian wedding. But regardless, I've realised: It's me. It's my fault. I'm spending and I'm the reason we're in massive amounts of debt.

    Today, it stops.

    Today, I'm starting this diary in the hopes that I can start keeping tabs on myself (and I hope you'll all keep tabs on me too). Over time, I'm going to set some goals and a 5-year plan and share them all with you. I'll check in every once in a while to show how I'm getting on and what I'm doing to get DF.

    I hope I might be able to support and share some stuff that'll help some of you too.

    Debbie
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
Page 3
    • ab_saver
    • By ab_saver 8th Oct 16, 8:44 PM
    • 333 Posts
    • 804 Thanks
    ab_saver
    I'm waiting until the end of the month to post an updated debt total. I'm delighted to know that I've already smashed my end-of-2016 target of being under £30,000 but I don't know by how much... Excited!
    Originally posted by debbie_debt
    Wow - amazing. Well done you!
    House fund: £1610 / £10,000 _£1000 emergency fund #208 - £110/ 1000 _
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 12th Oct 16, 2:39 PM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Wow - amazing. Well done you!
    Originally posted by ab_saver
    Thanks ab_saver!

    It's a nice feeling. I deliberately tried to make my goals achievable to keep me sane, but I didn't expect to hit it so soon. So happy!

    I'm having real debates with myself today. Since having my son and returning from maternity leave, I've been part-time at work. I do 19 hours and have a salary of £17k. It's a good wage for the hours I do and have adapted to cope on this so that he doesn't have to go into full-time childcare, which I've always felt strongly against.

    Now that I've realised the seriousness of our situation and know that I need to do everything possible to pay off the debt, I'm torn. Do I go back full-time and sacrifice this time with him/put him in full-time nursery, or do I acknowledge it's going to take longer to pay off? My last option is to try and pick up private work to go alongside my job and bump up my wages with evening/weekend work when my hubbie is home.

    Any ideas? He's 19 months old now.

    Debbie
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 12th Oct 16, 2:45 PM
    • 6,009 Posts
    • 17,410 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Thanks ab_saver!

    It's a nice feeling. I deliberately tried to make my goals achievable to keep me sane, but I didn't expect to hit it so soon. So happy!

    I'm having real debates with myself today. Since having my son and returning from maternity leave, I've been part-time at work. I do 19 hours and have a salary of £17k. It's a good wage for the hours I do and have adapted to cope on this so that he doesn't have to go into full-time childcare, which I've always felt strongly against.

    Now that I've realised the seriousness of our situation and know that I need to do everything possible to pay off the debt, I'm torn. Do I go back full-time and sacrifice this time with him/put him in full-time nursery, or do I acknowledge it's going to take longer to pay off? My last option is to try and pick up private work to go alongside my job and bump up my wages with evening/weekend work when my hubbie is home.

    Any ideas? He's 19 months old now.

    Debbie
    Originally posted by debbie_debt
    I earn a similar amount and work similar hours. I have just accepted it will take longer. I don't think there is any point in taking on extra work and not seeing the kids (for me anyway). I'd rather it took longer and spend quality time with them
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €23,999/€27,000
    BOI credit card: €6,000/€7,000
    Loan:€17,999/ €20,000
    Emergency savings: €400/€1000
    • Money spending mummy
    • By Money spending mummy 12th Oct 16, 5:48 PM
    • 23 Posts
    • 29 Thanks
    Money spending mummy
    I'm in the same situation. I work 3 days a week for the same type of salary. This is a good balance for me, being able to work and also spend time with my children. I've had to adjust to the reduction in earnings, but it is great to be able to spend a decent amount of time with my children. I think the sacrifice of taking longer to pay off the debt is worth it.

    Xx
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Oct 16, 6:46 PM
    • 10,623 Posts
    • 68,535 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Debbie I'm not sure of the mechanics but isn't there now the 15 hours that apply at 3 for some 2 year olds? If yes it might be a good thing to look into. At least if you did work more you would get to reduce your debt faster that way (with the free hours that is)

    I worked 4 days a week when my son was little with one of them WFH. Is there any opportunity for that?
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £54.82 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1855 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 13th Oct 16, 10:40 AM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Thanks for the opinions everyone.

    Bobarella, you need to fall into certain categories to get the 15 hours free for 2 year olds (adopted, child protection, failing to meet developmental milestones etc) and so we don't qualify. He'll get it at aged 3, so a year and a bit to wait. It'd be fab to work more from home. I'd still have to use childcare (he's not the type of toddler who could just get on with playing by himself lol) but at least I'd get an extra 90 minutes a day with him by stopping the commute. I might have a chat with work to see if I could take on an extra day but do it from home. I can always ask!

    To everyone else, it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one doing this. Part of me was starting to think I'm being selfish - taking time rather than money - but I just think it's so valuable when they're tiny. Despite the fact that he loves nursery.

    Lots to think about!

    I have just landed some private work that can be done on the weekends when his Dad's home, which will bring in an extra few hundred this month. I'll see how motivated I am to work for myself (and how easy it is to just leave the house to work, leaving Dad in charge lol).
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 13th Oct 16, 10:52 AM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    OK... So I couldn't help myself totting up the debts after making all the payments I could for this month.

    Absolutely delighted doesn't even cover it. £28,801.78 A total payment of £2002.60 this month. It's been a great month for us financially since we've had a council tax rebate, but still massively proud of ourselves for sticking at it
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 13th Oct 16, 11:44 AM
    • 3,163 Posts
    • 8,719 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    Eeeeeeek well done you!

    That is amazing

    Dxxx
    Goals
    Debt free by Christmas 2017
    Save for Christmas 2017
    Goal weight of 10st 7lbs by Christmas
    Add to deposit savings
    • 12 month challenge
    • By 12 month challenge 13th Oct 16, 7:21 PM
    • 2,325 Posts
    • 5,098 Thanks
    12 month challenge
    OK...
    Absolutely delighted doesn't even cover it. £28,801.78 A total payment of £2002.60 this month.
    Originally posted by debbie_debt
    Brilliant work, Well done you.

    That's an amazing amount. Its amazing how quickly it mounts up. Keep going
    x
    SP 9#531=£620/SP 10 # 531=?
    PDBX 2016 #2 = £16,766.67/£12,000
    PDBX 2017 #2 = £1,200/£12,000


    ''If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain''
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 13th Oct 16, 10:45 PM
    • 10,623 Posts
    • 68,535 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Wow impressive!!

    Interesting on the 2 year old 15 hours thing. I hope your boss will consider the WFH request.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £54.82 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1855 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 17th Oct 16, 9:09 PM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Just a quick check-in tonight ladies and gents. Updated my signature with my latest emergency fund total - it's growing nicely

    I'm still finding myself frittering away my £150/month 'spends' and getting a bit annoyed at myself. For £150 I could get some nice clothes, which I'm in dire need of, or get my hair done etc. But, no. I choose to buy my lunch out all the time or stop at the shop for a bottle of coke. REALLY annoying, but it's like a pathetic addiction. I'm not even a massive foodie - I'm not buying expensive lovely stuff, just the odd sandwich or pastie or something because I'm hungry and it feels like a little treat. Those little treats are adding up to a massive problem.

    MUST STOP
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • Thistle-down
    • By Thistle-down 19th Oct 16, 12:49 PM
    • 912 Posts
    • 3,159 Thanks
    Thistle-down
    I've found it really helps to make it as convenient as possible to have alternatives to spending money - buying a good quality non-leaking bottle or thermos that is a pleasure to use, a nice lunchbox that is well insulated, etc. Getting it ready the night before is the key for me, if left till the morning rush, nothing would get done.
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 5th Jun 17, 1:57 PM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    It's been ages since I've written on here and tbh had forgotten all about it until now! I wanted to come back, review my goals for last year and set some new ones for this year. It's been a bumpy few months. We've had some huge successes and some slipping, but overall I'm pleased with here we are today.

    Here goes:

    Debt under £30,000 by the end of 2016 Currently £14,562!! Smashed it!!
    Pay off the Centre Parcs hols we’ve already booked for May 2017, by the end of 2016 We didn't get this paid off by the end of 2016, we prioritised debt we were paying interest on,
    but it was paid off in full in plenty of time before the deadline,
    and we had a brilliant hols

    Don’t let my OH talk me into (or talk him into) any more holidays for 2017 except camping hols under £50 No more holidays planned, despite my OH's NEED for sun apparently
    Stick to my personal £150 per month ‘spends’ Generally achieved. Happy bunny
    Absolutely no CC spending I admit we did put a bit on the cc over xmas, but it was minimal when we suddenly realised I had no petrol to get to work and we were skint.
    I'm annoyed at my poor planning but it was paid off immediately on pay day

    £1,000 emergency fund by the end of 2016 Gutted.
    Unachieved. Still not there yet.

    Write a list of local free activities we can do with our kids and individually by the end of October 2016. A lovely list is done and printed next to the fridge
    Write a calendar of all the free big events planned for 2017 locally. Done! all on the calander
    One NSD per week.Going to be honest, I completely forgot about this aim and it's definitely not achieved.
    Fresh start...

    Take picnics rather than eating out when we go on days out. Hmmm.... this list is getting less and less achieved as we near the end...
    Stop buying bottles of Diet Coke whenever I go to the shops!!! All I'm going to say is "oops"

    I'm delighted we've more than halved our massive debt in less than a year, which is partly due to a tax rebate and a generous gift when my mum retired, but also due to some real sacrifice and sticking to our guns for once. We will get there eventually.

    I will be back to post some 2017 goals very soon!
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 5th Jun 17, 4:21 PM
    • 3,163 Posts
    • 8,719 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    Well done lovely.

    You have made a great big dent in that debt!

    Dxxx
    Goals
    Debt free by Christmas 2017
    Save for Christmas 2017
    Goal weight of 10st 7lbs by Christmas
    Add to deposit savings
    • ada-or-ardor
    • By ada-or-ardor 5th Jun 17, 7:10 PM
    • 131 Posts
    • 480 Thanks
    ada-or-ardor
    That is fabulous, well done you!! Considering the huge reduction you've managed, you should definitely focus on that emergency fund. Even £100 a month will build up and give you the safety net you need so you don't resort to credit. I know it slows down your debt free journey slightly, but it's essential :-)

    Good luck!! Ada
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 6th Jun 17, 11:27 AM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Thanks everyone! It's been quite invigorating coming back to this diary and focusing on our goals again. Today is my first NSD, but just realised that the food shopping delivery arrived this morning. I'm not counting that as spending, but now I feel like a bit of a cheat For me, my NSDs will be more of a day that no cash will leave my purse and I won't get the switch card out. I don't want to spend anything unnecessary. Hope that makes sense!

    I had a think about reducing my spending at work too. I've been getting more and more pressured with time in the mornings due to my LO having more of a lie in and me starting work earlier, meaning that making lunches has gone to the back of the pile of jobs needing doing. I've just been reading a thread on making and freezing sandwiches in advance, so it's all there ready to grab when I leave in the mornings. Does anyone else do this? I'm going to make a few to test this aft and see what they're like over the coming days. I also thought that buying nice bread rolls etc might make me less tempted to pick up something that looks more appealing than the one I'd already prepared. Fingers crossed.

    Debbie
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 6th Jun 17, 11:50 AM
    • 509 Posts
    • 4,763 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    We buy part baked ciabatta from Aldi or Lidl, bake them and make them up the night before. So long as you don't put salad or tomato on them (tends to make them soggy) they are delicious. Chicken, cheese, ham - anything like that and it's a fraction of the price to buy out of a nice sandwich shop.
    NSD 13/12 Weightloss 1.5/48 June Womble £121.36 2017 Wombling total £971.15
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 6th Jun 17, 2:35 PM
    • 262 Posts
    • 790 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    We buy part baked ciabatta from Aldi or Lidl, bake them and make them up the night before. So long as you don't put salad or tomato on them (tends to make them soggy) they are delicious. Chicken, cheese, ham - anything like that and it's a fraction of the price to buy out of a nice sandwich shop.
    Originally posted by Toni'sfriend
    Thanks for that Toni'sfriend.

    I've got to ask something - have you really found £799 lying about on the floor this year?? Is that what Wombling is?
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05.06.2017 DEBTS = £14,562.85
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 6th Jun 17, 3:36 PM
    • 509 Posts
    • 4,763 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    It's basically getting something for less than it should be. Finding things, getting a good deal on something etc. I was recently given a Fortnum and Mason food hamper by a neighbour who won it in a raffle but didn't like anything in it It's just a fun way of keeping track. Have a look at the thread on the Challenge Board. I'm not very good compared to most people.
    NSD 13/12 Weightloss 1.5/48 June Womble £121.36 2017 Wombling total £971.15
    • hannahroberts1985
    • By hannahroberts1985 8th Jun 17, 7:10 AM
    • 648 Posts
    • 983 Thanks
    hannahroberts1985
    Morning Debbie,

    I ready you diary during my night feeds. Zzzzz it was a long night me and DP take it in turns to do a night each so basically get sleep every other night ha ha!

    Have you heard of an app called hoop it lists all the children's clubs,events etc you can set a distance, age and price range and just pick the day you want to see. Also are there many National Trust areas around you? Also an app for this. I've recently joined and have already saved a lot on days out.

    Interesting you have pocket money for DS2 I always just pay for anything for the boys out of my money we did keep their child benefit money free for clothes, toys etc but that's gone since may leave and now I just buy what's needed when we have extra cash.

    Have you thought about seeing up a few little savings accounts with small monthly DD's to save for Christmas and birthdays. That way if you see any bargain you can buy and stash away but know it's coming from the Christmas pot. Also you don't get to Nov/Dec and panic buy on CC (I used to do this) I wrote down everyone I have to buy for then the amount I normally spend divide this by 12 then started the DD up. Same for the boys birthdays. Oh also are you on the bargain buys for busy mums on facebook? It's great for buying gifts in advance when you spot a bargain I now have a wardrobe full of bits and bobs for when DS gets invited to a birthday party.

    Have you thought about not taking your card/cash to work so you can't buy bits and bobs? Or maybe keep a spending diary for a week or month and total up how much you spend on snacks and drinks then look at what clothes you could have brought etc? I always book hair appointments or buy an item of clothing I've been eyeing up on payday then it's spend and I can't buy small bits and baby and fritter it away. I do agree that one of life's little joys is an ice cold can of Diet Coke though.

    Ok best go get sorted for the school run. Sorry I think my post it a bit disjointed I haven't had a brew yet and just trying to type while I can remember what I read in the night.

    Catch ya later x
    OD £0 C Card 0% £2212.20 Now:£642 Loan£4540.84 Now:£3282.36 Familyloan £1000 Now:£900 Next: £99Now £110 DFS £1017 Now:£416.24
    Total Debt June 2016 £8996.47 Now:£5339.70= 40%Down
    Savings:£2007/£20,000 = 10% Car fund:£0 Xs fund £70 B/day £0
    Noodle: 602 Clear: 490 msescore:918/61%
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