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  • FIRST POST
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 21st Sep 16, 5:26 PM
    • 244Posts
    • 755Thanks
    debbie_debt
    It's my fault, so it's my responsibility. Time to take it.
    • #1
    • 21st Sep 16, 5:26 PM
    It's my fault, so it's my responsibility. Time to take it. 21st Sep 16 at 5:26 PM
    I've had a huge lightbulb moment today. After years of battling with debt, and thinking I've had many many lightbulb moment, I've suddenly realised something. My debt is no-one else's fault. Whilst that probably seems obvious (I always knew the money was being spent) I've realised it's not the kid's needs making me spend; it's not my husband going out on the !!!! and it's not necessary to keep up with the Jones's.

    Two months ago, in an effort to start paying off the debt, I completely changed the way we organise our family finances. It involves me and hubby having £150 each spending money (clothes, haircuts, lunches, nights out, birthday pressies, workplace collections. everything). We get this in cash and the bank accounts don't get touched. My OH has stuck to it 100% and I've been secretly spending on CCs. None of the spending was on my - it was all on the kids or stuff I felt was obligatory, like wedding presents, birthday presents, travelling to an Italian wedding. But regardless, I've realised: It's me. It's my fault. I'm spending and I'm the reason we're in massive amounts of debt.

    Today, it stops.

    Today, I'm starting this diary in the hopes that I can start keeping tabs on myself (and I hope you'll all keep tabs on me too). Over time, I'm going to set some goals and a 5-year plan and share them all with you. I'll check in every once in a while to show how I'm getting on and what I'm doing to get DF.

    I hope I might be able to support and share some stuff that'll help some of you too.

    Debbie
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05/12/2016 DEBTS = £25,636.69
Page 3
    • ab_saver
    • By ab_saver 8th Oct 16, 8:44 PM
    • 207 Posts
    • 552 Thanks
    ab_saver
    I'm waiting until the end of the month to post an updated debt total. I'm delighted to know that I've already smashed my end-of-2016 target of being under £30,000 but I don't know by how much... Excited!
    Originally posted by debbie_debt
    Wow - amazing. Well done you!
    Pesky student overdraft gone _House fund: ~£300 / £10,000_£1000 emergency fund #208 - £13.74/ 1000
    NSDs Sept 6/7 Oct 19/18 Nov 17/15 Dec 1/12_ GC Oct: £15.62/40 Nov: £71.89/75 Dec £1.98/75
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 12th Oct 16, 2:39 PM
    • 244 Posts
    • 755 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Wow - amazing. Well done you!
    Originally posted by ab_saver
    Thanks ab_saver!

    It's a nice feeling. I deliberately tried to make my goals achievable to keep me sane, but I didn't expect to hit it so soon. So happy!

    I'm having real debates with myself today. Since having my son and returning from maternity leave, I've been part-time at work. I do 19 hours and have a salary of £17k. It's a good wage for the hours I do and have adapted to cope on this so that he doesn't have to go into full-time childcare, which I've always felt strongly against.

    Now that I've realised the seriousness of our situation and know that I need to do everything possible to pay off the debt, I'm torn. Do I go back full-time and sacrifice this time with him/put him in full-time nursery, or do I acknowledge it's going to take longer to pay off? My last option is to try and pick up private work to go alongside my job and bump up my wages with evening/weekend work when my hubbie is home.

    Any ideas? He's 19 months old now.

    Debbie
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05/12/2016 DEBTS = £25,636.69
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 12th Oct 16, 2:45 PM
    • 5,902 Posts
    • 17,130 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Thanks ab_saver!

    It's a nice feeling. I deliberately tried to make my goals achievable to keep me sane, but I didn't expect to hit it so soon. So happy!

    I'm having real debates with myself today. Since having my son and returning from maternity leave, I've been part-time at work. I do 19 hours and have a salary of £17k. It's a good wage for the hours I do and have adapted to cope on this so that he doesn't have to go into full-time childcare, which I've always felt strongly against.

    Now that I've realised the seriousness of our situation and know that I need to do everything possible to pay off the debt, I'm torn. Do I go back full-time and sacrifice this time with him/put him in full-time nursery, or do I acknowledge it's going to take longer to pay off? My last option is to try and pick up private work to go alongside my job and bump up my wages with evening/weekend work when my hubbie is home.

    Any ideas? He's 19 months old now.

    Debbie
    Originally posted by debbie_debt
    I earn a similar amount and work similar hours. I have just accepted it will take longer. I don't think there is any point in taking on extra work and not seeing the kids (for me anyway). I'd rather it took longer and spend quality time with them
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €27,000/€26,949
    BOI credit card: €7,000
    Loan: €20,000/€19,949
    • Money spending mummy
    • By Money spending mummy 12th Oct 16, 5:48 PM
    • 14 Posts
    • 12 Thanks
    Money spending mummy
    I'm in the same situation. I work 3 days a week for the same type of salary. This is a good balance for me, being able to work and also spend time with my children. I've had to adjust to the reduction in earnings, but it is great to be able to spend a decent amount of time with my children. I think the sacrifice of taking longer to pay off the debt is worth it.

    Xx
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Oct 16, 6:46 PM
    • 7,995 Posts
    • 51,269 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Debbie I'm not sure of the mechanics but isn't there now the 15 hours that apply at 3 for some 2 year olds? If yes it might be a good thing to look into. At least if you did work more you would get to reduce your debt faster that way (with the free hours that is)

    I worked 4 days a week when my son was little with one of them WFH. Is there any opportunity for that?
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.66 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,230.57 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 13th Oct 16, 10:40 AM
    • 244 Posts
    • 755 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Thanks for the opinions everyone.

    Bobarella, you need to fall into certain categories to get the 15 hours free for 2 year olds (adopted, child protection, failing to meet developmental milestones etc) and so we don't qualify. He'll get it at aged 3, so a year and a bit to wait. It'd be fab to work more from home. I'd still have to use childcare (he's not the type of toddler who could just get on with playing by himself lol) but at least I'd get an extra 90 minutes a day with him by stopping the commute. I might have a chat with work to see if I could take on an extra day but do it from home. I can always ask!

    To everyone else, it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one doing this. Part of me was starting to think I'm being selfish - taking time rather than money - but I just think it's so valuable when they're tiny. Despite the fact that he loves nursery.

    Lots to think about!

    I have just landed some private work that can be done on the weekends when his Dad's home, which will bring in an extra few hundred this month. I'll see how motivated I am to work for myself (and how easy it is to just leave the house to work, leaving Dad in charge lol).
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05/12/2016 DEBTS = £25,636.69
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 13th Oct 16, 10:52 AM
    • 244 Posts
    • 755 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    OK... So I couldn't help myself totting up the debts after making all the payments I could for this month.

    Absolutely delighted doesn't even cover it. £28,801.78 A total payment of £2002.60 this month. It's been a great month for us financially since we've had a council tax rebate, but still massively proud of ourselves for sticking at it
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05/12/2016 DEBTS = £25,636.69
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 13th Oct 16, 11:44 AM
    • 2,649 Posts
    • 7,048 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    Eeeeeeek well done you!

    That is amazing

    Dxxx
    Debt Free by Xmas 2017 6,186.67/14,523.76
    Saving for Xmas 2017 0/365
    Goal Weight by August 2017 27lbs/84lbs
    Mortgage Savings 2020 0/25,000
    • 12 month challenge
    • By 12 month challenge 13th Oct 16, 7:21 PM
    • 2,283 Posts
    • 4,840 Thanks
    12 month challenge
    OK...
    Absolutely delighted doesn't even cover it. £28,801.78 A total payment of £2002.60 this month.
    Originally posted by debbie_debt
    Brilliant work, Well done you.

    That's an amazing amount. Its amazing how quickly it mounts up. Keep going
    x
    EF#154 = £1,000
    SP 9 # 531 = £620 SP 10 # 531 = ?
    PDBX #2 = £15,651.01/£12,000
    Barclaycard 1 paid Barclaycard 2 paid MBNA £14,000/£8,978.99
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 13th Oct 16, 10:45 PM
    • 7,995 Posts
    • 51,269 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Wow impressive!!

    Interesting on the 2 year old 15 hours thing. I hope your boss will consider the WFH request.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.66 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,230.57 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • debbie_debt
    • By debbie_debt 17th Oct 16, 9:09 PM
    • 244 Posts
    • 755 Thanks
    debbie_debt
    Just a quick check-in tonight ladies and gents. Updated my signature with my latest emergency fund total - it's growing nicely

    I'm still finding myself frittering away my £150/month 'spends' and getting a bit annoyed at myself. For £150 I could get some nice clothes, which I'm in dire need of, or get my hair done etc. But, no. I choose to buy my lunch out all the time or stop at the shop for a bottle of coke. REALLY annoying, but it's like a pathetic addiction. I'm not even a massive foodie - I'm not buying expensive lovely stuff, just the odd sandwich or pastie or something because I'm hungry and it feels like a little treat. Those little treats are adding up to a massive problem.

    MUST STOP
    Emergency fund £435.09/£1000
    L.B.M. 21/09/2016 DEBTS = £30,854.38 05/12/2016 DEBTS = £25,636.69
    • Thistle-down
    • By Thistle-down 19th Oct 16, 12:49 PM
    • 908 Posts
    • 3,105 Thanks
    Thistle-down
    I've found it really helps to make it as convenient as possible to have alternatives to spending money - buying a good quality non-leaking bottle or thermos that is a pleasure to use, a nice lunchbox that is well insulated, etc. Getting it ready the night before is the key for me, if left till the morning rush, nothing would get done.
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