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  • FIRST POST
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 21st Sep 16, 2:52 PM
    • 352Posts
    • 550Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Should I quit my job without another one lined up
    • #1
    • 21st Sep 16, 2:52 PM
    Should I quit my job without another one lined up 21st Sep 16 at 2:52 PM
    Background on me: mid-30s, married with 2 young kids, earning around £50k.


    I work in Finance and have been in my current job for 2.5years. I have been unhappy in my current job for the last 1.5years. The reason why I am unhappy is that I feel that a lot of what is expected of me is above my current level of knowledge (without sufficient training), there is no one supporting me or checking my work, the environment I work in is toxic (some very nasty individuals) and the work leaves me feeling stressed, anxious and depressed. I have tried making it work, talked to my boss about my concerns, but he is just as unhappy about my performance than I am in the job. He expects me to do what he wants due to me being a manager. I can't make it work and now the only way forward I can see is leaving.


    Every weekend I get the Sunday night blues, every day I dread going into work and at night I can't stop thinking about work. I then get stressed out and take it out on my kids and hate myself for doing it. At work I panic every time the phone goes or I get an email, through fear of what may await me on the other end.


    I have been looking for a new role for about a year now, but nothing good has come up. Moreover, I think that as the job is having such an effect on me mentally, my confidence is shot and I can't think straight, making it impossible for me to (a) find a job and (b) sell myself to recruiters.

    So now I am thinking of quitting without another job lined up.


    I have 4 months salary saved up and I have to give 3 months notice, which gives me 7 months to find a job. Once I am out of this role I think that my mental health would pick up an enable me to find something else.


    The issue I have is that all my instincts are telling me to quit, but my head is telling me that is a bad idea. Employers like someone who is employed and moreover, if I don't find much I like, I could be tempted to take anything in order to get money coming in.


    Then saying that, I fear it is only a matter of time before I get sacked. Surely it is better to resign than be sacked?




    Is it ever a good idea to resign without a job to go to?
Page 4
    • cadon
    • By cadon 26th Sep 16, 8:25 PM
    • 117 Posts
    • 219 Thanks
    cadon
    If you're qualified, Big 4 trained, you've been miserable for over a year and would happily take any other job with a comparable salary, it sounds like there's something massively wrong with your job-hunting process.

    By any chance, are you applying for jobs directly? In finance, most recruitment is done through agencies.

    If you have been trying to bag a job for over a year through one agency, get rid of them and start speaking to another. There are a few crap agencies out there, but there are also quite a few good ones.
    • Kim kim
    • By Kim kim 26th Sep 16, 11:29 PM
    • 1,621 Posts
    • 2,468 Thanks
    Kim kim
    I agree that I should be managing and overseeing, not doing, but that is the nature of this business and the big reason why I want to leave.


    I'd love to take a lower salaried job with less stress, but this is not a long term solution.
    Originally posted by Scorpio33
    Don't kid yourself that managing & overseeing is easier than doing - it's not at all.

    For a 50k a year salary you expect stress or complicated work (or both). If you want a similar salary it's unlikely you will get an easier role.
    • prowla
    • By prowla 26th Sep 16, 11:30 PM
    • 9,446 Posts
    • 7,411 Thanks
    prowla
    I've left a job several times without another to go to.
    Things seem to work themselves out.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 27th Sep 16, 1:21 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 550 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    I have had an honest chat with my boss.


    He sees where I am coming from and can see how I am not happy.


    I got the distinct impression that he would not fire me, but he wants me to resign.


    I think it is best that I do resign, but I still think that it is better having an income coming in than to leave a job without another lined up.


    So nothing has changed, except everyone are at least singing from the same song sheet.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 27th Sep 16, 9:45 PM
    • 2,470 Posts
    • 5,857 Thanks
    ska lover
    Ok so you have decided to stay miserable.
    Nothing good will come of it, trust me. Keep piling the pressure on and feel trapped - and see where you are in six months time especially now your boss wants you out. not really sure you haven't actualy made things worse for yourself by admitting to your boss

    I removed my earlier post as I had poured my heart out over an awful period of my life where I went through similar and it seems to have been for no reason
    Last edited by ska lover; 27-09-2016 at 9:51 PM.
    Blah blah blah.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 28th Sep 16, 9:44 AM
    • 352 Posts
    • 550 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Ok so you have decided to stay miserable.
    Nothing good will come of it, trust me. Keep piling the pressure on and feel trapped - and see where you are in six months time especially now your boss wants you out. not really sure you haven't actualy made things worse for yourself by admitting to your boss

    I removed my earlier post as I had poured my heart out over an awful period of my life where I went through similar and it seems to have been for no reason
    Originally posted by ska lover

    Its not that I want to stay miserable, its more that I see that I need money to support my family and getting a job is easier if you are already employed.


    I thank you for your honest post earlier and it helped me towards resigning, but I just don't have it in me to do that yet. I need more posts like yours to give me the courage to do what my heart wants to do, rather than letting my head rule me.
    • GenericUsername
    • By GenericUsername 3rd Oct 16, 5:29 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 86 Thanks
    GenericUsername
    I haven't posted on here in a long time. In fact it is something I used to do when I was depressed, in a job I hated.

    I felt compelled to write something because I recognise the person I used to be when I hear you speak.

    I was surrounded by a big dark cloud at work, came home frustrated and then took it out on the family. Arguments and being short-tempered. Felt stuck and didn't know what to do. I wasn't living, just existing.

    I kept thinking about leaving, but never had the courage to do it because I was scared of not having a paycheck.

    Then last November I was made redundant. The choice was completely taken out of my hands. I was terrified, worried about money.

    A year down the line I realise that it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because suddenly I could breathe again. Instead of being worried about money, my mood, my temper, a crap environment at home, a toxic environment at work, bursting into tears because life was frustrating - suddenly my only issue was money. All the other stuff sort of disappeared.

    I decided I was never going to be in a situation like that again. I made a decision that I was going to live the life I wanted. I was going to work at something that inspired me.

    After 10 years as an Administration & Compliance Manager for a large UK Publisher earning a good salary, I went back to what I loved doing. Writing.

    Long story short, I started my own business. I knew what I was good at and decided that if I worked at things that I was passionate about, life would be a lot better. I was lucky enough to find supportive people. I went looking for motivational things - TED talks, anything that would help me learn how to work for myself.

    A year down the line I have my own business, writing, blogging, and working as an Administration Consultant using the skills I had built up over a ten year career. Only this time, I am not an employee of any company I work for - I am freelance and charge double what I used to earn as an employee.

    The main thing is that I have become a positive, happy person, instead of a negative, frustrated one.

    I don't have to surround myself with toxic people.
    I don't have to commute during rush-hour.
    I don't have to worry about anyone turning off my one salary (I have more than one income stream)
    I don't have to listen to or get involved with the company-speak and politics.
    I have become massively allergic to passive-aggressive people who still work in jobs they hate and spend all their time complaining about it, but are unwilling to change anything.

    I don't mean to sound self-righteous, but I understand exactly how you feel. I was there. You will have to make a choice - improving the happiness of your family, or staying in the job to keep a paycheck coming.

    If your emotional and mental state remains the same, nothing will change.

    From what I can hear you sound educated, intelligent and skilled. If you can muster some motivation to work harder and longer for a short period of time, then there is no reason why you couldn't use your experience to work for yourself and start your own business.

    I haven't heard that suggested as yet.

    For the longest time I was a person who worked 40 hours a week in a job I hated to earn an okay salary. Now I am a person who works 80 hours a week in a job I love to create multiple revenue streams. I make my own hours and have as much time as I need for my son.

    Most of all I am a much happier and nicer person. I say all of the above with good intentions. Life's too short to spend feeling miserable. Hope this helps.
    • marktomus
    • By marktomus 4th Oct 16, 2:41 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    marktomus
    Its your decision you should take after better thinking
    __________________________________________
    • lozzaj83
    • By lozzaj83 5th Oct 16, 10:11 AM
    • 82 Posts
    • 20 Thanks
    lozzaj83
    I just want to follow this thread as I have just handed my notice in. I have a 3 month notice period to find something else! eek!
    • GenericUsername
    • By GenericUsername 5th Oct 16, 11:01 AM
    • 33 Posts
    • 86 Thanks
    GenericUsername
    Lozzaj83,

    If you don't mind me asking, just interested to know why you handed your notice in. It is a brave step. Congratulations, if the job was making you miserable.

    Now you have 3 months to find something else...or create something else.

    There's always another way.

    Good luck.
    • lozzaj83
    • By lozzaj83 5th Oct 16, 11:10 AM
    • 82 Posts
    • 20 Thanks
    lozzaj83
    GenericUsername - I have just sent you a PM
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 5th Oct 16, 12:36 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 550 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    I haven't posted on here in a long time. In fact it is something I used to do when I was depressed, in a job I hated.

    I felt compelled to write something because I recognise the person I used to be when I hear you speak.

    I was surrounded by a big dark cloud at work, came home frustrated and then took it out on the family. Arguments and being short-tempered. Felt stuck and didn't know what to do. I wasn't living, just existing.

    I kept thinking about leaving, but never had the courage to do it because I was scared of not having a paycheck.

    Then last November I was made redundant. The choice was completely taken out of my hands. I was terrified, worried about money.

    A year down the line I realise that it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because suddenly I could breathe again. Instead of being worried about money, my mood, my temper, a crap environment at home, a toxic environment at work, bursting into tears because life was frustrating - suddenly my only issue was money. All the other stuff sort of disappeared.

    I decided I was never going to be in a situation like that again. I made a decision that I was going to live the life I wanted. I was going to work at something that inspired me.

    After 10 years as an Administration & Compliance Manager for a large UK Publisher earning a good salary, I went back to what I loved doing. Writing.

    Long story short, I started my own business. I knew what I was good at and decided that if I worked at things that I was passionate about, life would be a lot better. I was lucky enough to find supportive people. I went looking for motivational things - TED talks, anything that would help me learn how to work for myself.

    A year down the line I have my own business, writing, blogging, and working as an Administration Consultant using the skills I had built up over a ten year career. Only this time, I am not an employee of any company I work for - I am freelance and charge double what I used to earn as an employee.

    The main thing is that I have become a positive, happy person, instead of a negative, frustrated one.

    I don't have to surround myself with toxic people.
    I don't have to commute during rush-hour.
    I don't have to worry about anyone turning off my one salary (I have more than one income stream)
    I don't have to listen to or get involved with the company-speak and politics.
    I have become massively allergic to passive-aggressive people who still work in jobs they hate and spend all their time complaining about it, but are unwilling to change anything.

    I don't mean to sound self-righteous, but I understand exactly how you feel. I was there. You will have to make a choice - improving the happiness of your family, or staying in the job to keep a paycheck coming.

    If your emotional and mental state remains the same, nothing will change.

    From what I can hear you sound educated, intelligent and skilled. If you can muster some motivation to work harder and longer for a short period of time, then there is no reason why you couldn't use your experience to work for yourself and start your own business.

    I haven't heard that suggested as yet.

    For the longest time I was a person who worked 40 hours a week in a job I hated to earn an okay salary. Now I am a person who works 80 hours a week in a job I love to create multiple revenue streams. I make my own hours and have as much time as I need for my son.

    Most of all I am a much happier and nicer person. I say all of the above with good intentions. Life's too short to spend feeling miserable. Hope this helps.
    Originally posted by GenericUsername

    I hear what you are saying, but my dad was self-employed and I saw the stresses that brings. You have no sick leave, no holiday and your work is your life.

    The other aspect is that (a) I am not a risk taker, so can't see myself setting up on my own due to the risk and (b) I don't have the skills to set up on m own.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 5th Oct 16, 12:36 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 550 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Good luck lozzaj83
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 14th Oct 16, 3:11 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 550 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Just as an update:


    I have quit. No job is worth risking your health or relationship for.


    Also, I am in touch with professionals to manage my anxiety and confidence levels.
    • purplegrape
    • By purplegrape 14th Oct 16, 4:10 PM
    • 204 Posts
    • 458 Thanks
    purplegrape
    Congratulations Scorpio33, look forward to hearing how you get on when you're ready to share and great that you're getting help.


    I finish my job with nothing to go to next Thursday, it feels really strange but exciting t take some control.
    • Birdman2015
    • By Birdman2015 5th Nov 16, 11:27 AM
    • 106 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    Birdman2015
    I have just literally done this too.

    I had been made redundant from my last job and all I could get was a minimum wage job changing over sanitary bins and nappy bins. I was uneasy about it at the start but thought I would give it a go but yesterday I ended up being physically sick in a customers premises due to "bodily fluids" on one of the bins and the smell so decided enough was enough.I have also been less than at ease with working in female toilets!

    My boss was away when I returned to base but I have emailed in my resignation.
    • lozzaj83
    • By lozzaj83 7th Nov 16, 3:35 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 20 Thanks
    lozzaj83
    How are you getting on? I have about 6 weeks before my notice runs out and still nothing in the pipeline. I am beginning to panic!
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 7th Nov 16, 4:26 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 550 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Still nothing to go to yet, but I am sure something will come up.


    I feel 10 times better now I have resigned and am feeling a lot more positive!
    • louby_lou
    • By louby_lou 10th Nov 16, 1:34 PM
    • 272 Posts
    • 257 Thanks
    louby_lou
    I have taken voluntary redundancy (just statuatory unfortunately) after 10 years in a job that i have always disliked, and now come to loathe due to some pretty awful management and toxic people. The attrition in my business unit is horrendous and those who remain are either unskilled or too fearful to go. I was the latter for probably the last 5 years.

    I have been job hunting for 10 weeks solidly and very fastidiously (while working the 12 week notice), i have taken advantage of an advisory service which my company provided to leavers and it has been invaluable - particularly in maintaining (read rebuilding) my confidence after rejections.

    it can be hard, horrible work looking for a job. its almost a job in itself, and i think much of it is luck/preparedness and attitude based (besides qualifications and experience). Some days I am philosophical, some days I am very very down and worrying how the mortgage is going to be paid. I don't have children but i am risking my own and my partners' future in taking this step and the responsibility of that has sometimes felt crushing.

    I think we just have to keep trying, be optimistic and take advantage of any support or network who can give us a hand.

    Best of luck, and you're right. As i said to my manager, who was most put out that I have decided to move on (escape) - there is more to life than this.

    * MFW by 2020 *
    • steampowered
    • By steampowered 10th Nov 16, 2:46 PM
    • 522 Posts
    • 458 Thanks
    steampowered
    Congratulations, to me it sounds like you have done the right thing. There is nothing wrong with resigning from a role you are not enjoying. Good luck finding another role!
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