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  • FIRST POST
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 21st Sep 16, 2:52 PM
    • 342Posts
    • 532Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Should I quit my job without another one lined up
    • #1
    • 21st Sep 16, 2:52 PM
    Should I quit my job without another one lined up 21st Sep 16 at 2:52 PM
    Background on me: mid-30s, married with 2 young kids, earning around 50k.


    I work in Finance and have been in my current job for 2.5years. I have been unhappy in my current job for the last 1.5years. The reason why I am unhappy is that I feel that a lot of what is expected of me is above my current level of knowledge (without sufficient training), there is no one supporting me or checking my work, the environment I work in is toxic (some very nasty individuals) and the work leaves me feeling stressed, anxious and depressed. I have tried making it work, talked to my boss about my concerns, but he is just as unhappy about my performance than I am in the job. He expects me to do what he wants due to me being a manager. I can't make it work and now the only way forward I can see is leaving.


    Every weekend I get the Sunday night blues, every day I dread going into work and at night I can't stop thinking about work. I then get stressed out and take it out on my kids and hate myself for doing it. At work I panic every time the phone goes or I get an email, through fear of what may await me on the other end.


    I have been looking for a new role for about a year now, but nothing good has come up. Moreover, I think that as the job is having such an effect on me mentally, my confidence is shot and I can't think straight, making it impossible for me to (a) find a job and (b) sell myself to recruiters.

    So now I am thinking of quitting without another job lined up.


    I have 4 months salary saved up and I have to give 3 months notice, which gives me 7 months to find a job. Once I am out of this role I think that my mental health would pick up an enable me to find something else.


    The issue I have is that all my instincts are telling me to quit, but my head is telling me that is a bad idea. Employers like someone who is employed and moreover, if I don't find much I like, I could be tempted to take anything in order to get money coming in.


    Then saying that, I fear it is only a matter of time before I get sacked. Surely it is better to resign than be sacked?




    Is it ever a good idea to resign without a job to go to?
Page 2
    • purplegrape
    • By purplegrape 21st Sep 16, 8:02 PM
    • 203 Posts
    • 458 Thanks
    purplegrape
    I've just given notice on a job that's made me mentally and physically ill overthe past year for a range of reasons, so I very much sympathise with your situation.

    I've nothing to go to, but I am really keen to find a new career path. My plan is to temp like TBagpuss mentioned to keep funds flowing (I wish I'd been clever enough to build up 4 months of savings!) and also to give me space to apply for new jobs with more energy.

    Given your fears and need to have a bit of confidence building, have you approached any recruitment agencies that might specialise in your area of finance? They're usually very keen to get their commission and find roles that will match your interests and skills. I've seen this work extremely well with quite a few of my friends and colleagues.

    The other thing might be to consider if there are other roles in your current employer you could explore. It can be easier to make a switch internally and have a chat with the potential line manager about opportunities.

    Good luck - you deserve to feel so much more positive about your work life.
    • xapprenticex
    • By xapprenticex 21st Sep 16, 8:32 PM
    • 616 Posts
    • 470 Thanks
    xapprenticex
    Work out your finances with your partner, make sure you can go a fair while if the worst happens and make sure your partner is supportive of the decision, that is just as important.

    If it checks out then give your notice, no point sacrificing your mental health and the last thing you need is serious anxiety because all of that will have to be undone, it wont just go away magically.

    All well and good listening to people here who don't personally care about you but you should try to follow your gut instinct.

    Hope something works out for you.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 22nd Sep 16, 7:27 AM
    • 13,774 Posts
    • 35,408 Thanks
    FBaby
    I think you are confusing accepting that this job is not for you and you need to look for another one asap, and thinking that the only way to do so is to resign.

    As TBag said, you don't need to be out of work to be incentivised to feel that finding another one is an emergency. You are clearly overly stressed currently, so it is already an emergency. What you need to balance is the stress of dealing with your current job against the stress of seeing your savings reducing whilst not getting anywhere close to finding another job with the same salary.

    3 months can be a long time to look for another job or not. The higher the pay, the less the opportunities coming forward. It depends on so many factors and how picky you are. Would you be willing to relocate or travel? You've already indicated you would want less responsibilities, so making it even more difficult to find such a job on a the same salary and as you've already find, companies would be suspicious as to why you would want to reduce your responsibilities at this stage.

    In terms of the gap on the CV, this would be put down to wanting to spend time with my family - something that is true.
    I personally wouldn't put this down. It indicates that you will always put your family first which could put them off. Everyone wants to spend time with family, but by virtue of going for a high paid job, you accept that you make some sacrifices when it comes to your family even if you always strive for a better work-life balance.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 22nd Sep 16, 8:55 AM
    • 342 Posts
    • 532 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    I think you are confusing accepting that this job is not for you and you need to look for another one asap, and thinking that the only way to do so is to resign.

    As TBag said, you don't need to be out of work to be incentivised to feel that finding another one is an emergency. You are clearly overly stressed currently, so it is already an emergency. What you need to balance is the stress of dealing with your current job against the stress of seeing your savings reducing whilst not getting anywhere close to finding another job with the same salary.

    3 months can be a long time to look for another job or not. The higher the pay, the less the opportunities coming forward. It depends on so many factors and how picky you are. Would you be willing to relocate or travel? You've already indicated you would want less responsibilities, so making it even more difficult to find such a job on a the same salary and as you've already find, companies would be suspicious as to why you would want to reduce your responsibilities at this stage.


    I personally wouldn't put this down. It indicates that you will always put your family first which could put them off. Everyone wants to spend time with family, but by virtue of going for a high paid job, you accept that you make some sacrifices when it comes to your family even if you always strive for a better work-life balance.
    Originally posted by FBaby

    I accept this job is not for me and I need to find another one.


    I guess the issue is that I am looking for the perfect "new" role - which doesn't exist. My family will always come before any career or job, even if that means me earning 10k a year. The issue is that the current life style we have warrants the salary. We have had a look at finances, and due to childcare, even if we cut down to the essentials, I am still looking at a job 35k-40k. By essentials, I mean just food, water, electric, gas, mortgage.


    I never wanted high paid job. I turned down jobs on significantly higher salaries than I am on at the moment, as the people I see on high wages are either never married, unhappily married or divorced. I don't want that - my family life is everything to me. The struggle I have is that I want to give my family everything - which requires money. So there is a balance to be had.


    And that is the issue. If I look for lower paid, less responsibility jobs, then the employer asks why and thinks I lack ambition. And that is true - I will always put my family before any job.


    I just can't see a way out and it is effecting me. I am almost depressed, but if I go to the Doctor and they sign me off, then again future employers will hold that against me as they will request the sick leave days.


    My thoughts of resigning also stem from a fear of being sacked. Now this may be true and I may be sacked, but my judgement maybe clouded due to how low I am feeling. Resigning just feels like I will be free from all the issues I currently have and I will be in a better place temporarily. I accept that this then brings in other issues longer term, but I am happy to temp to keep money coming in. I guess temping will give me a feel for many different work places too and may give me more of an idea of what makes me happy if you see what I mean.


    Thank you for all your input and more responses are gratefully accepted.
    • ThemeOne
    • By ThemeOne 22nd Sep 16, 9:26 AM
    • 591 Posts
    • 431 Thanks
    ThemeOne
    I guess temping will give me a feel for many different work places too and may give me more of an idea of what makes me happy if you see what I mean.
    Originally posted by Scorpio33
    That is very true - it's a very good way to get a feel for different businesses and the kind of environment that suits you best.

    I would go into a temping agency and be quite honest with them about your plans and why you're thinking of resigning etc. They are normally quite receptive, especially if they think they can get you lots of work.

    Not all agencies are created equal though, so would advise registering with as many as you can find locally.
    • missbiggles1
    • By missbiggles1 22nd Sep 16, 10:13 AM
    • 14,730 Posts
    • 26,572 Thanks
    missbiggles1
    No I did see that, its just I wanted more information really. What effect would it have on me etc.


    I would have at least 7 months money behind me and I have been looking for a year. Plus with using credit cards (Not ideal I know), I am sure I can stretch that time to a year without working.


    Its also the fact that having never been unemployed (despite being made redundant 3 times) I have no experience of what this feels like.
    Originally posted by Scorpio33
    Stop thinking of it in purely financial terms and how you might feel about it - voluntarily making yourself unemployed for that length of time is likely to have a devastating effect on your career and possibly lead to really long term unemployment.
    • Flyonthewall
    • By Flyonthewall 22nd Sep 16, 10:57 AM
    • 3,927 Posts
    • 2,689 Thanks
    Flyonthewall
    I guess the issue is that I am looking for the perfect "new" role - which doesn't exist. My family will always come before any career or job, even if that means me earning 10k a year. The issue is that the current life style we have warrants the salary. We have had a look at finances, and due to childcare, even if we cut down to the essentials, I am still looking at a job 35k-40k. By essentials, I mean just food, water, electric, gas, mortgage.
    Originally posted by Scorpio33
    If family comes first, you don't really want the stress of a high paid job and your mental health is suffering perhaps it's time to change things. Maybe that means a bit of a lifestyle change. Your current lifestyle clearly isn't one you're happy with, you're unhappy and stressed at work and that has an affect on your home life. You're only happy with it financially. Is that more important?

    You can change what you do with finances, you can't force yourself to be happy in a stressful job.

    Can you switch energy providers and save money? Can you get a better deal on your internet/phone/mobile costs? Can you shop for better deals or try some cheaper brands? Could you cut down on the amount of electricity you use? Say you watch TV every night, could you turn everything off and go for a family walk or something? Do you use a cashback site when buying online?

    There are loads of suggestions on these forums for saving money.

    If you found a job with less hours could your wife do some extra hours to make up for the drop of income?
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 22nd Sep 16, 11:19 AM
    • 342 Posts
    • 532 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    If family comes first, you don't really want the stress of a high paid job and your mental health is suffering perhaps it's time to change things. Maybe that means a bit of a lifestyle change. Your current lifestyle clearly isn't one you're happy with, you're unhappy and stressed at work and that has an affect on your home life. You're only happy with it financially. Is that more important?

    You can change what you do with finances, you can't force yourself to be happy in a stressful job.

    Can you switch energy providers and save money? Can you get a better deal on your internet/phone/mobile costs? Can you shop for better deals or try some cheaper brands? Could you cut down on the amount of electricity you use? Say you watch TV every night, could you turn everything off and go for a family walk or something? Do you use a cashback site when buying online?

    There are loads of suggestions on these forums for saving money.

    If you found a job with less hours could your wife do some extra hours to make up for the drop of income?
    Originally posted by Flyonthewall
    We could cut down a lot, but as I said this will save me from the 50k job to a 35k job.


    The issue is that the more hours my wife works, the more childcare costs. We pay a fortune on childcare and can't get around that until both kids are at school. That will be in 3 years time, so perhaps in 3 years things will get easier?
    • Flyonthewall
    • By Flyonthewall 22nd Sep 16, 11:48 AM
    • 3,927 Posts
    • 2,689 Thanks
    Flyonthewall
    We could cut down a lot, but as I said this will save me from the 50k job to a 35k job.

    The issue is that the more hours my wife works, the more childcare costs. We pay a fortune on childcare and can't get around that until both kids are at school. That will be in 3 years time, so perhaps in 3 years things will get easier?
    Originally posted by Scorpio33
    Have you looked into money saving advice/tips on here? If not, you might find new ways of saving money. Worth looking considering that you may struggle financially before finding a new job that pays enough. Cutting down by just not buying a specific thing of course saves money, but there are other ways to save too that you might not have thought of.

    If you're doing less hours can you not look after the kids to cut down on childcare costs?

    As it is now, your options are to either continue working in your current job while trying hard to find another or leave. If you leave, as you want to do, that will mean changes.

    It's your decision what you choose to do and no one else can make that decision for you. Either way there's going to be compromise; stress and financial gain or less stress and less financial gain.

    Maybe it would be a good idea to look at how you could reduce your stress (aside from leaving your job, of course).
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 22nd Sep 16, 11:58 AM
    • 4,784 Posts
    • 10,689 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    I would give notice
    Look for another role and if one doesn't come along contract it's what I have been doing and it hasn't affected my CV or ability to get offered roles
    • Doshwaster
    • By Doshwaster 22nd Sep 16, 12:22 PM
    • 4,373 Posts
    • 3,493 Thanks
    Doshwaster
    Stop thinking of it in purely financial terms and how you might feel about it - voluntarily making yourself unemployed for that length of time is likely to have a devastating effect on your career and possibly lead to really long term unemployment.
    Originally posted by missbiggles1
    Of course that's is possible but a it's very pessimistic outlook. Anyone with the talents to get a 50k job in their mid-30s shouldn't have that much difficulty in finding something which suits them. Just be honest with recruiters. There's no shame in admitting to making a wrong turn in your career and making a fresh start. Better that you do something about it now than wait another 5-10 years.

    I'd also look at short term contract work where companies need some extra staff for a few months for a specific project. You don't have the long term security but it's a good way to get experience a different environments and the basic pay is often higher (but other benefits such as pension contributions, health insurance, bonuses etc lower or non-existent). Also as a contractor you typically don't get bogged down in internal company politics as you are just there to do a job.
    • YouAsked
    • By YouAsked 22nd Sep 16, 12:44 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    YouAsked
    Hi,

    A few things...

    You say you work in finance - do you have sector qualifications? If so, register with specialist agencies to get a feel for what is out there (I work in an industry where it is all but impossible to recruit FDs with knowledge of this industry and they can pretty much name their price) - if you've got an in demand skillset, there WILL be a job out there for you. If it's more generic skills and you've got to where you are through internal promotions, then I do completely understand where you're coming from BUT you've already said you will take pay cut so there will be *something* for you. You may find it useful to look at sectors which are becoming increasingly "professional" but the pay is restrained (school business manager type role is springing to mind as I'm assuming - probably wrongly- that you're financially literate but not necessarily a certified professional?).

    Anyway on to the other more personal stuff...regarding when your kids go to school. IN some ways it's easier, in some ways not. The school day is 9.00-3.00 give or take so you'll need warp around care if working full time - the school my kids went to was 11 per day (so still around 200 per month)...plus you'll need to work out what you're doing for holidays and if you're using holiday clubs then this is anywhere from 100 p/w upwards. Even aside from the money, there's other considerations...for example my eldest wanted to join an afterschool athletics club - it was my responsibility to get him from the school premises to the athletics site. I hadn't considered things like that when I diligently sat down and worked out my s and pick up/drop off rotas. So yes, you will probably have a bit more money when your kids start school, but school trips, lunch money, wrap around care etc all cost money too so don't bank on having exactly the same amount as you spend on nursery fees/child care now as extra cash - it won't work out like that!

    Speaking from a purely personal perspective, I would not jump ship without another job lined up - and even then I'd be careful! The job I am in now sometimes overwhelms me despite people repeatedly telling me I'm good at it. I'm the main wage earner and this does bring a certain amount of pressure. However, when my children were small as I earned less than my partner, we took the decsion that I would put my career on hold for a few years and do a very much "just a job" type role. Obviously it didn't pay well and despite my carefully crafted spreadsheet telling me it was manageable, it wasn't. It was horrible. No matter how overwhelmed I sometimes feel now in my current role, that is NOTHING to the sick feeling of dread when an unexpected bill came in - if the car started making a funny noise, if one of the kids' shoes wore through, if a short notice demand for money came home from the school came in. We lived from payday to payday (or more precisely payday to the week before payday). We never went out unless it was something free (and even then we often couldn't afford the petrol/travel money!). It's a miserable, grinding way to live. That was my experience though and you may be better able to deal with it, but I found it truly energy sapping - constantly thinking about every penny. I would never willingly go back to living like that.

    I do understand how you feel, I really do. But sometimes people will glibly say "you can't put a price on happiness" but in some ways I am glad I experienced those very lean years as when I am feeling in a "hate my job" mood, it does give me perspective!

    Sorry this is so long - and for all of the typos which I can see but can't be bothered to amend!
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 22nd Sep 16, 12:58 PM
    • 13,774 Posts
    • 35,408 Thanks
    FBaby
    If you didn't have that niggling worry that you might get fired, if some solution was found so you felt more confident in your current role, would that be enough to feel ok?

    You say that you don't think you do your job properly and you are not supported enough. Have you had a review of your performance and discuss what training you might need? How long have you done this job? You could possibly be more negative than your boss and a solution could be found without jumping ship?
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 22nd Sep 16, 1:05 PM
    • 342 Posts
    • 532 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Hi,

    A few things...

    You say you work in finance - do you have sector qualifications? If so, register with specialist agencies to get a feel for what is out there (I work in an industry where it is all but impossible to recruit FDs with knowledge of this industry and they can pretty much name their price) - if you've got an in demand skillset, there WILL be a job out there for you. If it's more generic skills and you've got to where you are through internal promotions, then I do completely understand where you're coming from BUT you've already said you will take pay cut so there will be *something* for you. You may find it useful to look at sectors which are becoming increasingly "professional" but the pay is restrained (school business manager type role is springing to mind as I'm assuming - probably wrongly- that you're financially literate but not necessarily a certified professional?).

    Anyway on to the other more personal stuff...regarding when your kids go to school. IN some ways it's easier, in some ways not. The school day is 9.00-3.00 give or take so you'll need warp around care if working full time - the school my kids went to was 11 per day (so still around 200 per month)...plus you'll need to work out what you're doing for holidays and if you're using holiday clubs then this is anywhere from 100 p/w upwards. Even aside from the money, there's other considerations...for example my eldest wanted to join an afterschool athletics club - it was my responsibility to get him from the school premises to the athletics site. I hadn't considered things like that when I diligently sat down and worked out my s and pick up/drop off rotas. So yes, you will probably have a bit more money when your kids start school, but school trips, lunch money, wrap around care etc all cost money too so don't bank on having exactly the same amount as you spend on nursery fees/child care now as extra cash - it won't work out like that!

    Speaking from a purely personal perspective, I would not jump ship without another job lined up - and even then I'd be careful! The job I am in now sometimes overwhelms me despite people repeatedly telling me I'm good at it. I'm the main wage earner and this does bring a certain amount of pressure. However, when my children were small as I earned less than my partner, we took the decsion that I would put my career on hold for a few years and do a very much "just a job" type role. Obviously it didn't pay well and despite my carefully crafted spreadsheet telling me it was manageable, it wasn't. It was horrible. No matter how overwhelmed I sometimes feel now in my current role, that is NOTHING to the sick feeling of dread when an unexpected bill came in - if the car started making a funny noise, if one of the kids' shoes wore through, if a short notice demand for money came home from the school came in. We lived from payday to payday (or more precisely payday to the week before payday). We never went out unless it was something free (and even then we often couldn't afford the petrol/travel money!). It's a miserable, grinding way to live. That was my experience though and you may be better able to deal with it, but I found it truly energy sapping - constantly thinking about every penny. I would never willingly go back to living like that.

    I do understand how you feel, I really do. But sometimes people will glibly say "you can't put a price on happiness" but in some ways I am glad I experienced those very lean years as when I am feeling in a "hate my job" mood, it does give me perspective!

    Sorry this is so long - and for all of the typos which I can see but can't be bothered to amend!
    Originally posted by YouAsked

    Thanks for this very helpful insight.


    Yes, I am an ACCA fellow from a big 4 background. The next level up for me would be FD, but I do not want the stress that goes with being an FD. I want to come home from work and forget about it. In fact before I came here, I turned down a job as they wanted me to be a director within 18 months. I have registered with specialist agencies and there are jobs out there, but it seems all jobs want blood from you - even if I took a step down.
    It should be simple - I want a 9-5ish job without the hassle and accept the pay will be lower. The issue is that those jobs are either entry level (and so too low) or they take one look at me and don't give me an interview as I am overqualified and over experienced.


    I didn't take account of the fact that when they are at school different expenses come in, but bear in mind we pay 800 a month for childcare at the moment (even with my wife working part time), there will be some cost savings. Yes we have looked at reducing this and yes it is impossible.


    I guess I just need to look for a job with slightly lower pay with slightly less responsibilities and hope it works out. Then I can only hope that in the mean time I don't get sacked from my current role.




    I do regret my career choices. If I could go back, I would accept an entry level job, not get qualified and accept the lower pay. After all, you never miss what you didn't have.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 22nd Sep 16, 1:09 PM
    • 342 Posts
    • 532 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    If you didn't have that niggling worry that you might get fired, if some solution was found so you felt more confident in your current role, would that be enough to feel ok?

    You say that you don't think you do your job properly and you are not supported enough. Have you had a review of your performance and discuss what training you might need? How long have you done this job? You could possibly be more negative than your boss and a solution could be found without jumping ship?
    Originally posted by FBaby

    I have thought about this and the issue stems from the people in the company. I can't change people's personalities and even if a magic wand was waved and all the things I want in my role were granted, it wouldn't change in the long term as people don't have personality transplants.


    Its also my failings in that there are some aspects of the job that I am expected to do, but I can't as it is not something I have done before or even want to be involved in. Yes, I could ask for specific training, but then I would be pushed into doing something I have no interest in.
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 22nd Sep 16, 1:12 PM
    • 342 Posts
    • 532 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Of course that's is possible but a it's very pessimistic outlook. Anyone with the talents to get a 50k job in their mid-30s shouldn't have that much difficulty in finding something which suits them. Just be honest with recruiters. There's no shame in admitting to making a wrong turn in your career and making a fresh start. Better that you do something about it now than wait another 5-10 years.

    I'd also look at short term contract work where companies need some extra staff for a few months for a specific project. You don't have the long term security but it's a good way to get experience a different environments and the basic pay is often higher (but other benefits such as pension contributions, health insurance, bonuses etc lower or non-existent). Also as a contractor you typically don't get bogged down in internal company politics as you are just there to do a job.
    Originally posted by Doshwaster

    Yes I would love to do that.


    I am going to be working for at least another 20 years and do I want to do something I dislike for the next 20 years? Contracting would give me a feel for what else is out there, but that brings risks and is not something I could entertain, being the bread winner to a wife and 2 kids who I adore and want the best for.
    • YouAsked
    • By YouAsked 22nd Sep 16, 1:16 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    YouAsked
    Instead of 9-5 have you considered part-time? Three days per week instead to provide more balance? When I have recruited to part time posts, we have known that they are more likely to attract people who for whatever reason are looking for more balance. Might be an option for you, particularly with your background.

    FWIW I regret my career choices for the opposite reason - I wish I had a recognised trade/quaification in ANY field as I sometime feel "trapped-by-promotion" if that makes sense?
    • Scorpio33
    • By Scorpio33 22nd Sep 16, 1:18 PM
    • 342 Posts
    • 532 Thanks
    Scorpio33
    Instead of 9-5 have you considered part-time? Three days per week instead to provide more balance? When I have recruited to part time posts, we have known that they are more likely to attract people who for whatever reason are looking for more balance. Might be an option for you, particularly with your background.

    FWIW I regret my career choices for the opposite reason - I wish I had a recognised trade/quaification in ANY field as I sometime feel "trapped-by-promotion" if that makes sense?
    Originally posted by YouAsked

    I never thought about part time, and that does seem ideal.


    The trick is of course to find the ideal role.


    Thank you for all your advice and help
    • YouAsked
    • By YouAsked 22nd Sep 16, 1:19 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 19 Thanks
    YouAsked
    Also, just to be clear...the costs I mentioned for wrap around care/holiday club were per child so I was actually paying double the amounts quoted...
    • 27cool
    • By 27cool 22nd Sep 16, 1:43 PM
    • 38 Posts
    • 20 Thanks
    27cool
    This may sound a bit trite. But, better the devil you know, than one where you have no idea if it will be better elsewhere.
    If it was me I would be actively looking for a new job while putting up with the old one as best I could.
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