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  • FIRST POST
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 18th Sep 16, 10:33 AM
    • 89Posts
    • 437Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Be the change you wish to see
    • #1
    • 18th Sep 16, 10:33 AM
    Be the change you wish to see 18th Sep 16 at 10:33 AM
    Part of a quote apparently incorrectly attributed to Ghandi and relates to the world. I don't want to change the world but I do want to change me and I thought this was apt as it is only by me doing something different that I will see a change. Sitting around thinking I want things to be another way won't make that happen.

    So what do I want to be different? I want my debt (over £50k ) gone, I want to drink less (over a bottle of wine per day), I want a clean and tidy house, I want energy and enthusiasm for life back .

    How will I make that happen? It's fair to say I have had half hearted attempts in the past but now I need to get serious, only 3 more years and I reach the half century. I have set up a DMP which will see me debt free in just under 7years. Thank you to those on the DMP thread whose advice and guidance helped me take that step . I want that to be quicker but right now I am happy that the debt is not increasing and that I can now open post without feeling sick and sleep at night.

    There are other areas that need my attention and I think sorting those will help put me in a better place to tackle the debt. With regards to alcohol I have tried the only at weekends, only a glass an evening etc but soon lapse so I am setting a challenge of 100 days without alcohol. Hence why I have started this diary as I know from being a long time lurker that there are many lovely supportive people on here and I am hoping that with a little of that support and the accountability of updating my diary daily I will get the motivation and strength to see it through.

    I will post my daily to do list on here. I have become so lazy and a master of procrastination so anyone reading please give me a kick up the backside if you see me slacking.

    The final step at the moment is to do a daily HHH - Half Hour Housework. Not setting a rigid schedule but just to do half an hour of anything to keep on top of things and not have that heart sinking and embarrassing feeling when people turn up and the place is a tip.

    Well that's it for starters except to post todays to do list:
    Return unwanted clothes
    Buy last couple of bits for DS who is off to Uni (budgeted for)
    Set up final standing orders for DMP
Page 2
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 2nd Oct 16, 11:10 AM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    It was going so well....
    So time to confess - my friend came around on Friday and brought a bottle of wine for me. I chose (because it was totally my choice) not to say no and boy do I regret that. Yesterday I had the worst hangover I have had in ages and I still feel groggy today


    One positive to come from it is that I am shocked at how ill I felt yesterday having drunk less than I was drinking on a daily basis. Quite clearly I was giving my body a severe bashing but because tolerance had built up I didn't notice it. So I am getting right back on track and will complete my hundred day challenge but I will add on the day I relapsed so today is day 15. Getting back on track in itself is an achievement as previously I would have just given up thinking 'no point now'.


    Despite my relapse I did however manage to complete my to do list for Friday and achieved a HHH that day and yesterday. Also both days were NSD - lets be quite clear I was in no fit state to go out and do any spending yesterday!


    So To Do List for today:
    Colour roots - they are looking bad
    Face mask - to help undo damage from Friday
    Create a signature on here showing amount of debt, my grocery challenge and my AFD challenge
    Complete some outstanding paperwork
    Set timer and spend half an hour clearing conservatory. It has become the last dumping ground in the house and particularly for DS's paraphernalia. I do find setting my timer is great for getting me focussed and it is amazing what can be achieved in that time.
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 3rd Oct 16, 8:04 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    So all of yesterdays list complete except for the HHH in the conservatory. I had a nasty dose of CBA

    AFD day 16 achieved and HHH for today completed. List for tomorrow:

    Sort and put out clothes for charity
    Complete 2 lots of online personal documentation
    Enjoy night out with work within budget ��
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 3rd Oct 16, 10:28 PM
    • 8,012 Posts
    • 51,423 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Don't feel too bad. We all make mistakes.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.80 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,235.71 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 4th Oct 16, 10:19 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Thank you Bob. To be honest despite the blip I am feeling more positive than I have in a long time. My house is tidy, I am keeping up with all the housework, my money is under control and I am feeling physically and mentally so much better not drinking.

    I have signed up to a number of challenges and they are really keeping me motivated.

    So an AFD and a NSD. I achieved the latter with some creative baking from the freezer using forgotten pastry and leftover sausages to make sausage rolls for tomorrows lunchbox. Used some of the pastry mixed with oats, butter and sugar to make some biscuits.

    I also made cottage pie for tea and had 4 portions to put in the freezer

    Done my HHH, charity stuff taken away and documentation sorted. Evening out was cancelled and part of me was pleased as meant I saved money, had a NSD and avoided all temptation from alcohol. Is that wrong

    To do list for tomorrow:
    Finalise online shop for Thursday and that's it as want to just chill tomorrow evening.
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 4th Oct 16, 11:25 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Quick late night addition for to do list:
    Check 2 Direct Debits that have not gone from account on Mon as they should have done:
    1 DMP payment
    Gas n electric
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 5th Oct 16, 8:27 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    So today is day 18 of my 100 day challenge. Wow 2 more days and I am a 5th of the way through I am starting to get a little confused as I have signed up for a number of challenges so having to track multiple totals! Ah well as long as I am keeping on track moneywise and alcohol wise that's the important bit.

    So checked on the two missing payments and the gas and electric payment was because they have altered my monthly DD but didn't have enough time to inform the bank so new payment will go next month. I am not sure why they still didn't take this months but I am slightly in credit and am sure with DS at Uni we will use less gas and electric. So I have paid a chunk towards my emergency fund and the rest to my Christmas fund. I was a little late in getting this set up so a boost will be good.

    The other direct debit was a new one and they set it up to come out on that date and not the 1st as I requested. As the actual date is the 7th it's not a biggie. This was for one of my DMP's and it was nice to hear them apologising to me - bet they found it strange the client chasing payment

    The sausage rolls and biscuits turned out really well so very pleased with that.

    Completed my online shop this evening for tomorrow and had to completely redo the menu plan. I had ordered a slow cooker as they were reduced to £7 in Asda and meals to go in it accordingly. Anyway when I went to amend the shop it showed out of stock

    However my daughter has declared she wants to go for 'cleaner' eating and tbh I was thinking about changing my diet to keep the progress made in weight loss through not drinking going. So the lack of slow cooker was somewhat fortuitous.

    So I managed a NSD as well as an AFD and have had a lovely time chilling this evening. May be struggle to do my full HHH as now planted on sofa in front of GBBO but the house is in a good state and the laundry basket empty so not going to worry if it is just a QHH.

    So To Do List for tomorrow:
    Sort out makeup and clean makeup brushes
    Claim my £125 cash back and £25 boots card for switching to BT for Broadband

    The £125 comes on a pre-paid card and I am thinking I will use it for Christmas prezzie shopping. Likewise I will hold on to the £25 Boots card to go towards one of their Star Gifts - I am thinking the Soap and Glory for my DD which is usually good value.


    I am feeling so in control of things at the moment - it's a fab feeling. I hope I am not tempting fate
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 6th Oct 16, 9:38 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Day 19 of the challenge and an AFD and HHH completed.

    I have cleaned my makeup brushes and sorted out makeup. I have claimed my £125 prepaid card from BT but can't workout how to get Boots card. I have emailed BT and posted on the Broadband forum to see if anyone can help.

    To Do List for tomorrow:
    NOTHING - this has felt like such a long week so apart from HHH am not doing anything else.
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 7th Oct 16, 10:29 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Yay!! It's the weekend and I am 1/5 of the way through my challenge

    An AFD and NSD. Not quite a HHH but close.
    To Do List for tomorrow:
    Clear out and clean the conservatory

    No plans currently for the weekend - I am becoming a tad obsessed with not spending the £20 that has been in my purse untouched since last Tuesday
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 9th Oct 16, 7:43 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Day 22 of the challenge and I am still going strong with the AFDs. Just about keeping up with the HHH but I have to confess the To Do List went out of the window yesterday and I didn't tackle it today either.

    I have been feeling very tired, I could sleep for England at the mo. Maybe it's my body catching up after such a long period of wine interrupted sleepless nights. I have also been a tad mizzy and don't know why as I am feeling so in control of my money and life in general at the mo. Maybe the latter is just plain old fashioned hormones and I shouldn't think too much about it.

    Money wise things are going well and I am building up my emergency fund quite nicely, grocery spends are in check and managing to bag No Spend Days.

    I did my first bit of Christmas shopping today all within budget, this will be the first Christmas in years that I will not be putting on the credit cards and then having to pay off forever. In such a short time it feels as though I have come a long way and I will keep on posting on here as it really helps to keep me on track. Although I am sure it makes very dull reading for anyone else so apologies for that
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • mandz1
    • By mandz1 9th Oct 16, 9:35 PM
    • 2,295 Posts
    • 9,862 Thanks
    mandz1
    You're doing great bethechange. Keep going strong, don't worry about having a few days here and there where things don't get done. We all deserve some time off.

    Good job on starting Christmas shopping and keeping it off the cc. Mines nearly finished, just waiting on 2 people that don't know what they want.
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 10th Oct 16, 10:26 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Thank you Mandz1 and I am very impressed that you are nearly done

    I have had a chicken nightmare tonight. Had a large pack of breasts that needed using by today so thought instead of freezing I would cook them. That way have plenty for lunches and dinners and can freeze some chopped ready for quick curries or risottos.

    Anyway totally forgot about them so they were in the oven for nearly an hour. Not completely dehydrated but certainly not moist and juicy. Left them to cool only to come out and find one of the cats had snaffled one he tried to look innocent but the lip licking kinda gave it away!

    They are now safely stashed in the fridge. The chicken breasts not the cats!

    So day 23 completed and AFD, NSD, HHH complete and sorted out my utility. Ok that wasn't on my list but was a constructive bit of conservatory avoidance.

    Tomorrow I will make a start on that ruddy conservatory with a 15 minute timer. Surely I can't welch on that one!

    Nite all
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 11th Oct 16, 11:18 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Day 24 and quite clearly I can welch on the conservatory. I could make the excuse that I worked til late, then had tea to fix, then bit of housework so no time. But it would just be an excuse!!

    So reverse psychology now being applied and my To Do List will not include the conservatory

    So an AFD and a QHH if I am honest and that's it.

    Diet or rather healthy eating is going well and someone commented on my weight loss today

    Tomorrows To Do List:
    Some bank stuff to sort

    Think I am actually boring myself with this diary and I can see my motivation is slipping in some areas. So need to step it up a bit - need to find my motivator!for the house related stuff.
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 12th Oct 16, 9:06 AM
    • 68 Posts
    • 898 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Don't give up. I'm reading your diary every day and you're doing amazingly well. We all get bored now and then. Keep at it.
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 13th Oct 16, 9:14 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Thank you Toni's friend - it does help knowing people are supporting. I am determined to keep going as I am feeling so much better about things and myself.

    Day 26. I missed posting yesterday as I was totally exhausted and felt quite grotty. Had a full on day at work and hadn't taken in enough fluids and think I was adjusting to a low carb diet.

    Feeling much better today and reporting still on track and no alcohol consumed. I have really noticed the difference in my weight in just a few weeks which is a real motivator.

    Still have £10 left out of the £20 I took out over 2 weeks ago!! Grocery spend is well under control and I am looking forward to the end of the month to make more payments towards debt and emergency fund.

    Did my banking stuff from the other days To Do List and have been keeping up on house stuff. Though I have not been doing a half hour per day as with only DD and me it really is taking far less effort to keep the house in order.

    To do List for tomorrow:
    Enjoy the weekend
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 16th Oct 16, 2:33 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    So I told myself on Thursday to enjoy the weekend and I have done just that had a girlie night with DD on Friday. Saturday I did a little shopping - in the charity shops so very restrained. Then DD and I had lunch out. Today am chilling watching movies.

    However I have strayed a little off track and lost 2 AFDs. How careless of me

    I am not sticking to my 100 day challenge and it is confusing as I have signed up for a few monthly challenges so I am keeping multiple running totals.

    So I am dropping the 100 day challenge and focussing on the monthlies. This needs to be a forever lifestyle change past the 100 days anyway.

    Ok I confess - I am changing the goalposts

    I am off to read the Flylady thread as think this may be a good replacement for my HHH. it will also encourage me to tackle some of the areas I avoid when doing my HHH

    I have also decided that shopping in L!dl is not going to work for me so I am going back to weekly online A$da shop.

    So a few changes but this is about trying things and tweaking them. Finding what will work for me. My overall aim is to pay off debt and I am still working to that.
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • Karonher
    • By Karonher 16th Oct 16, 3:36 PM
    • 331 Posts
    • 1,760 Thanks
    Karonher
    You have done really well so far. At least you know what works for you and what doesn't. If you want to change back again you can always do that.
    Getting ready for Christmas 2016

    Aiming to make £3,500 online in 2016.
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 17th Oct 16, 9:49 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Thanks Karonher. I am sure there will be lots more trial and error.

    But I feel a lot more determined than I have in a long time.

    Not a lot to report today. Think I am moving into a more settled but debt free mind set. I am terrible for being all or nothing which can see me give up when the slightest thing goes off kilter.

    I am not giving up this time. I will keep going even when I slip up.
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 19th Oct 16, 11:30 AM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    I have just been checking my balances as had some statements through and my starting debt was slightly less than I thought and I have paid off a little more than I thought due to 2 payments falling in a month. So I have updated my signature accordingly


    By the end of this year my debt will have fallen from the £50k's to the £40k's (just!) I am then going to pick a debt in the New Year to save like mad for and pay off in full. I am on a self managed DMP so should be fairly straightforward and I will start with the smaller debts as I think the motivation of seeing the number of creditors reduce will be fab motivation. I currently have 8 so my aim for next year will be to get that down to 6 and then after that clear one per year as the balances are pretty big on them.
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • BeTheChange
    • By BeTheChange 22nd Oct 16, 6:53 PM
    • 89 Posts
    • 437 Thanks
    BeTheChange
    Oops neglected diary for a couple of days. Not a lot happening and I am just wanting the end of the month to hurry along so I can make some payments.

    AFDs and NSDs are still mounting up but not going to meet my target for the AFD's and NSDs are touch n go at the mo. Not worried though as still a huge improvement this month
    Debt @ Sept '16 = £51804 Oct '16= £51,095 1.37% paid off
    Oct grocery challenge = £229.05/£250
    Oct AFD challenge = 20/31
    Oct NSD = 13/18
    Emergency Fund member #209 = 376/1000
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 22nd Oct 16, 8:33 PM
    • 8,012 Posts
    • 51,423 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Good for you on ditching the nasty fake wine. I like Belvoir presse in elderflower for a lovely cold soft drink. Also love a fake G and T with just like and tonic. Often forget it doesn't have booze as the taste is just as nice.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £0.80 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,235.71 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
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