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    • White-as-Snow
    • By White-as-Snow 1st Sep 16, 2:58 PM
    • 242Posts
    • 739Thanks
    White-as-Snow
    Chores for children
    • #1
    • 1st Sep 16, 2:58 PM
    Chores for children 1st Sep 16 at 2:58 PM
    I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how long my kids should spend doing chores for. How many/ or how long do you guys think is a good amount for them to do? (Currently not doing enough imo- they have to tidy up after themselves and thats about it- but they even complain about that)

    I have googled a lot and there's lots of lists about age appropriate chores but that's not really what I'm looking for. Theres only one opinion that I found online which said 15-30 minutes on a school day and 1 hour on a saturday but is this the norm do you think?

    I know the answer will probably depend on age of children/ after school activities etc but some ideas/ opinions would help please?
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    • Sicard
    • By Sicard 3rd Sep 16, 11:04 AM
    • 651 Posts
    • 574 Thanks
    Sicard
    My opinion is everyone has to contribute to the family unit. Of course kids resent having to do chores it's in their dna but it does give them a sense of responsibility in later life. I come from a family of six which in the 50s was a large unit. I was given chores even as a toddler. My first job was to bring in the milk bottles which I could only do one at a time by hauling them along the floor. Then I progressed to cleaning out the fireplace from the previous evening's ashes.

    You can always give them a carrot and stick approach, each chore rewarded in some way.
    A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
    Baltasar Gracian
    • Octobergirl
    • By Octobergirl 3rd Sep 16, 1:30 PM
    • 279 Posts
    • 547 Thanks
    Octobergirl
    The jobs I get mine to do:

    7 year old
    Make sandwiches
    Hoover
    Lay table
    Wipe down front of kitchen cupboards
    Mop floor
    Tidy room

    These are all on ad hoc basis. His everyday chore is to pick the bloomin Lego off the floor......in every room in the house.

    10 year old daughter is disabled and limited in what she can do as poor hand function.
    Her jobs;
    Wipe kitchen cupboards down
    Empty washing machine
    Separate clean washing into individuals piles
    Throw dirty washing down from top of stairs
    Put cans away in cupboard after shopping trip
    Help clean inside of car

    Again all ad hoc and depend on how ratty I am at the state of the house / their wanting to help out.
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    Ready meal diet:
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    • GwylimT
    • By GwylimT 3rd Sep 16, 3:49 PM
    • 5,809 Posts
    • 10,819 Thanks
    GwylimT
    Daughter (six) must sort her washing, load it, add the egg and then grab me or her mum to have a quick check that all is okay before turning the machine on.

    Set the table each night and put everyones empty pots on the side ready to be rinsed and put in the dishwasher.

    Put the bathroom bin and living room bin by the back door on bin day for me to empty.

    I don't consider things like making her bed, putting clothes in the basket or tidying her own toys a chore.
    • Saffagal
    • By Saffagal 3rd Sep 16, 9:12 PM
    • 666 Posts
    • 1,583 Thanks
    Saffagal
    My 3 year old has "jobs" to do and if I'm doing "jobs" she'll come and ask me what she can do to help as the sooner the jobs are done, the sooner I can play with her.

    Her most recent tantrum was because she got home from nursery and I had already set the table for dinner so she didn't have that job to do.

    Without prompting she takes and puts the baby's nappies in the bin and puts her dirty clothes (and often baby's) into the correct laundry bags. She also makes her bed each morning (pulls her duvet straight), and most nights will set the table for dinner. She also loves helping to empty the dishwasher and fold the laundry and asks to water the pot plants.

    She has lots of time to play and be a child, but is also learning how helping out at home means we have more time to all do fun things together.
    • 1234mas430
    • By 1234mas430 4th Sep 17, 12:32 AM
    • 66 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    1234mas430
    Oh my god I feel so ashamed mine do nothing. 21 and 14 but me and hubby chose to have them and feel blessed although throttling is tempted at times.
    Originally posted by stroodes
    You might feel blessed but your kids wont thank you for being crap parents ,when you should have been giving them sensible responsibilities you've let them slide. They won't be able to cope in later years, down to you & be a burden on the rest of us.
    • Money maker
    • By Money maker 4th Sep 17, 1:05 AM
    • 4,812 Posts
    • 10,954 Thanks
    Money maker
    Not a new thread peeps, just a poster dragging up year old ones to have a pop at another poster. Really?
    Please do not quote spam as this enables it to 'live on' once the spam post is removed.

    If you quote me, don't forget the capital 'M'

    Declutterers of the world - unite!
    • Jamiehelsinki
    • By Jamiehelsinki 4th Sep 17, 6:44 AM
    • 93 Posts
    • 133 Thanks
    Jamiehelsinki
    I used to get my daughter to help me do jobs as opposed to doing them herself slowly as she's got older she does most things herself now.
    • Batman2017
    • By Batman2017 4th Sep 17, 6:18 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 26 Thanks
    Batman2017
    slightly off topic but does anyone know why i can thank some posts but not others? i ask as there are some on here that i want to thank but cant. some that i can but dont want to.
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 4th Sep 17, 7:54 PM
    • 35,888 Posts
    • 151,103 Thanks
    silvercar
    slightly off topic but does anyone know why i can thank some posts but not others? i ask as there are some on here that i want to thank but cant. some that i can but dont want to.
    Originally posted by Batman2017
    No reason for that. You should be able to thank any post you can see.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debate House Prices & the Economy, House Buying, Renting & Selling, Mortgages and Endowments, In My Home incl DIY, Overseas Holidays & Student boards.
    I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com.
    • svain
    • By svain 4th Sep 17, 11:22 PM
    • 153 Posts
    • 294 Thanks
    svain
    You might feel blessed but your kids wont thank you for being crap parents ,when you should have been giving them sensible responsibilities you've let them slide. They won't be able to cope in later years, down to you & be a burden on the rest of us.
    Originally posted by 1234mas430
    That is the biggest load of horse sh*t ive read in a long time
    • svain
    • By svain 4th Sep 17, 11:35 PM
    • 153 Posts
    • 294 Thanks
    svain
    Taking their own plates to the kitchen and loading into dishwasher isnt a chore. Returning cups, plates etc from their bedroom isnt a chore either .... Its a minimum requirement. Tidying up behind them after playing, drawing etc is also preferable. Making a cup of tea/coffee is also a nice quality,

    Rest of it .... bedding, laundry, cleaning, housework, cooking, packing up own lunches etc isnt for kids to do!!.
    This is the parents responsibility. If the parent doesnt want the extra work of kids then get a cleaner/housekeeper etc, or dont have kids .... some of the expectations being put on kids is one step away from slave labour, cloaked in "how it prepares them for later life" ... what tosh!!. Most kids are absolutely fine when they get to adulthood.

    Let kids have fun, enjoy there down time and stop pushing responsibility into them and stop nagging them about this type of stuff. Kids have most their lives to worry about responsibility
    • Batman2017
    • By Batman2017 5th Sep 17, 10:25 AM
    • 51 Posts
    • 26 Thanks
    Batman2017
    Taking their own plates to the kitchen and loading into dishwasher isnt a chore. Returning cups, plates etc from their bedroom isnt a chore either .... Its a minimum requirement. Tidying up behind them after playing, drawing etc is also preferable. Making a cup of tea/coffee is also a nice quality,

    Rest of it .... bedding, laundry, cleaning, housework, cooking, packing up own lunches etc isnt for kids to do!!.
    This is the parents responsibility. If the parent doesnt want the extra work of kids then get a cleaner/housekeeper etc, or dont have kids .... some of the expectations being put on kids is one step away from slave labour, cloaked in "how it prepares them for later life" ... what tosh!!. Most kids are absolutely fine when they get to adulthood.

    Let kids have fun, enjoy there down time and stop pushing responsibility into them and stop nagging them about this type of stuff. Kids have most their lives to worry about responsibility
    Originally posted by svain
    adults are not slaves either. whats wrong with kids helping out and doing their bit? Kids are fortunate these days with so many modern luxuries. Hardly the days of yore when they were down the mines working as child labour.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 5th Sep 17, 12:05 PM
    • 5,873 Posts
    • 7,624 Thanks
    TBagpuss

    Rest of it .... bedding, laundry, cleaning, housework, cooking, packing up own lunches etc isnt for kids to do!!.
    This is the parents responsibility. If the parent doesnt want the extra work of kids then get a cleaner/housekeeper etc, or dont have kids .... some of the expectations being put on kids is one step away from slave labour, cloaked in "how it prepares them for later life" ... what tosh!!. Most kids are absolutely fine when they get to adulthood.

    Let kids have fun, enjoy there down time and stop pushing responsibility into them and stop nagging them about this type of stuff. Kids have most their lives to worry about responsibility
    Originally posted by svain
    I strongly disagree. Things like housework and cooking don't happen by magic, it is perfectly reasonable for every member of the household to help out . Obviously what you do and when you do it is dependent on age and capacity. It's really offensive to suggest that it is remotely similar to salve labour.

    I think it is totally appropriate to expect children to help out, and to tailor what they do to their age.

    Growing up, my siblings and I started with things such as laying and clearing the table, then moved on to first helping with, then doing, washing up. We were all expected to ensure that dirty laundry went into the laundry basket, and to help with washing and putting laundry on the line or bringing it in, on request.

    Obviously we made our own beds (or slept in them unmade, if we so chose) and kept our won bedrooms clean.

    As we got older we were given the option of preparing our own packed lunches for school, or having a school meal, and were expected to do our own ironing.

    We were also all taught to cook, and had an arrrangement that if any of us didn't want to eat the meal being prepared for the family, we were free to cook something different for ourselves, on the basis that we cleaned up afterwards.

    I would say that all of this was in place but the time we were in out early teens.

    We all have an excellent relationship with our parents, and we all left home with all the skills and experience we needed to be able to look after ourselves and the homes we lived in. I think we all found, on reaching university and moving into shared accommodation, how much easier it was for us than for our peers who had never been expected to help out at home - both in terms of being able to look after ourselves, but also in being able to fit into a shared house with others and to pull our weight.

    It is a nightmare to find yourself in shared accommodation with someone who has no idea how to look after themself and who has been conditioned to expect someone else to ensure that things get cleaned / tidied / put away.

    I think you do a real disservice to your children if you don't expect them to help out from an early age so they grow up with the skills to look after them self, and the expectation that everyone in the household has responsibilities to ensure that it works smoothly and that no one person is expected to do all the work.
    • Batman2017
    • By Batman2017 5th Sep 17, 12:12 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 26 Thanks
    Batman2017
    I suspect svain either comes from a household where they have no kids / Is wealthy and doesnt have the pressures that normal working families face / or does everything in the house and is now wondering why everybody else is so different and is trying to justify doing all the housework by him/herself.
    • svain
    • By svain 5th Sep 17, 2:26 PM
    • 153 Posts
    • 294 Thanks
    svain
    I suspect svain either comes from a household where they have no kids / Is wealthy and doesnt have the pressures that normal working families face / or does everything in the house and is now wondering why everybody else is so different and is trying to justify doing all the housework by him/herself.
    Originally posted by Batman2017

    If it matters ... normal household, 2 kids and average income. We still never chose to hound the kids over the trivialities of running a home. That was our responsibility.

    Both kids now married with own family and survived just fine when they left home because they have common sense, learnt from any of their own mistakes, asked when they needed help and realised very quickly what they didnt do, didnt get done (kids are clever like that )

    You can tell the people who ARE trying to justify their reasoning, because they write very long posts or try to deflect to other posters
    Last edited by svain; 05-09-2017 at 2:39 PM.
    • indsty
    • By indsty 5th Sep 17, 4:30 PM
    • 352 Posts
    • 864 Thanks
    indsty
    I've never understood the concept of "chores". We lived as a family and all mucked in together as a family. We would all do whatever was necessary in a way appropriate to how old we were. The older one helped the younger one, the parents helped each other or the children. Making it a "chore" sounds like making ordinary living into a punishment.

    The children never made a fuss as it was always seen as normal.
    • svain
    • By svain 5th Sep 17, 4:45 PM
    • 153 Posts
    • 294 Thanks
    svain
    I've never understood the concept of "chores". We lived as a family and all mucked in together as a family. We would all do whatever was necessary in a way appropriate to how old we were. The older one helped the younger one, the parents helped each other or the children. Making it a "chore" sounds like making ordinary living into a punishment.

    The children never made a fuss as it was always seen as normal.
    Originally posted by indsty
    Some people like the feeling of power, control and lists/tick boxes.
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 5th Sep 17, 5:21 PM
    • 18,505 Posts
    • 42,458 Thanks
    peachyprice
    slightly off topic but does anyone know why i can thank some posts but not others? i ask as there are some on here that i want to thank but cant. some that i can but dont want to.
    Originally posted by Batman2017
    It's an old resurrected thread, the 'thank' button becomes unusable after a certain period.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 6th Sep 17, 8:19 PM
    • 1,425 Posts
    • 3,108 Thanks
    Loz01
    I feel like kids deffo need some chores - esp boys. The next generation of men will be quite pampered judging by the way my colleagues treat their sons!!! The girls have to tidy and do washing at 14 but my colleagues 22 year old son still phones her asking "whats for tea" when he's been home all day and she's at work lmao
    An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough
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