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  • FIRST POST
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 24th Aug 16, 5:27 PM
    • 8Posts
    • 9Thanks
    Goku1000
    bye gambling and debt!
    • #1
    • 24th Aug 16, 5:27 PM
    bye gambling and debt! 24th Aug 16 at 5:27 PM
    I have been gambling on and off for about 10 years and run up debt of around £12000, some of that what also wasted on other stuff though.

    I made several attempts to stop in the past,but I can't say I really wanted to stop back then, now approaching 30 , I have received help and I am confident I will never go back again.

    All online accounts etc have been closed permanently and I have been keeping a personal diary. It took, a long time for me to realise it was the only thing making me miserable in life.

    Anyway, my debts are roughly like this

    bank loan £8000
    credit card with bank £2500
    credit union loan 1500

    I have no interest on any of these now and the credit union loan comes directly off my wages and it will be paid off by May.

    the bank loan is paid monthly and runs for 3 years, around 4 months paid already which is has brought it down to around the £8000 figure at the moment.

    my plan is to pay my last credit card of and close it, then start paying the bank loan back, to shorten the length of the loan term.

    I am also going to keep a diary on here to help me, will probably stick to a monthly update.

    any support from others would be greatly appreciated, also hope I can offer some support. thanks!
Page 1
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 26th Aug 16, 4:58 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    • #2
    • 26th Aug 16, 4:58 PM
    • #2
    • 26th Aug 16, 4:58 PM
    first payment made on credit card today £310. I have around £50 spare for the week, which should be plenty for what I need.
    Last edited by Goku1000; 26-08-2016 at 5:06 PM.
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 26th Aug 16, 5:39 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    • #3
    • 26th Aug 16, 5:39 PM
    • #3
    • 26th Aug 16, 5:39 PM
    Hey Goku1000,

    Congratulations on making the first step... Are you going to GA meetings? If not, I thoroughly recommend it. It helps me stay off a bet, one day at a time. I've been off for 5 months now and started dealing with my debt.

    Good luck with your journey.

    Chris
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,468.02 Dec 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016 | £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 26th Aug 16, 9:11 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    • #4
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:11 PM
    • #4
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:11 PM
    No, I haven't been To GA have my own personal reasons for that, won't go into it, but I have seen specialists in gambling addiction over the past year or so and my doctor.

    I realise GA will work for some, I hope you stick it out!

    I never gambled every day it was every so often in binges, associated with depression etc.

    I have found what works for me though, I have been cutting down a lot for a while now and almost stopped completely.

    Reading several books helped too. If i am happy keeping occupied the gambling is no problem. Impulsive spending was a problem too,not just gambling.

    Cutting down would probably be a bad idea for some,but it worked for me,after getting tired off it and eventually closing my last online account for good. My debt was actually around £17000 about 9 months ago, so I am feeling confident and more comfortable now after making progress.
    Last edited by Goku1000; 28-08-2016 at 11:42 AM.
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 26th Aug 16, 9:25 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    • #5
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:25 PM
    • #5
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:25 PM
    I also always had some slight level of control over it as, i always stopped at some point, even with cash left to spend and my counsellor agreed.

    The debt reached about £17000 at one point though, basically through crazy interest charges and I really never made any attempt to seriously to pay back it, it's the same debt I have had for years really.

    Finally decided to clear it now though and I am in a position where I have no more interested to be added, with shifting a card balance and a very low interest rate from bank, also credit union.

    I somehow managed to keep a very good credit rating throughout the years, by never missing a single payment, although I could have been paying more back.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 26th Aug 16, 9:28 PM
    • 456 Posts
    • 1,079 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    • #6
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:28 PM
    • #6
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:28 PM
    Thank you so much for posting this and being so honest. I am sure lots of people will find reading your diary helpful even if they don't communicate that to you.
    You sound like you have done so well turning things around and coming out the other side. I hope you can feel good about your progress and how far you have come.

    Ps I think turning 30 was also my turning point. Im not sure if its a common theme.
    Debt at June 2016 £14,600
    2017 pay off loan and first credit card
    Have less debt and be happier
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 26th Aug 16, 9:41 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    • #7
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:41 PM
    • #7
    • 26th Aug 16, 9:41 PM
    Thank you so much for posting this and being so honest. I am sure lots of people will find reading your diary helpful even if they don't communicate that to you.
    You sound like you have done so well turning things around and coming out the other side. I hope you can feel good about your progress and how far you have come.

    Ps I think turning 30 was also my turning point. Im not sure if its a common theme.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Could be I was young and had no idea what to do with my cash, so I wasted it foolishly.
    Suddenly realised one day that I want to move forward with life and be happy again.

    Would have prefered to have stopped all this years ago, but I suppose I needed the time to learn from my mistakes and work out what was going on in my head.

    Approaching 30 was a real light bulb moment too though!

    Hope you are making progress too!
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 1st Sep 16, 2:54 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    • #8
    • 1st Sep 16, 2:54 PM
    • #8
    • 1st Sep 16, 2:54 PM
    Hi Goku,

    I'm going to be brutally honest here, certainly no intention to offend and it's of course just my opinion which you can choose to listen to or ignore.

    Once you have a problem gambling, you may be able to control it for a certain amount of time, but it will almost certainly bite you down the line. Over the years I have seen far too many cases of the same scenario, including my own experience. I was able to control it for years, but eventually almost overnight I went from in control to unmanageable mess. I once had debt similar to yours and thought that it wouldn't get any worse, but it did for me, a whole lot worse. Gambling addiction can be helped by meeting with like minded people who understand through experience.

    Counselors, whilst very good in many many areas, if they have not had an addiction and are in recovery themselves, then it difficult for them to truly understand. Similarly I've heard of counselors telling an alcoholic that it's OK to have one drink every now and then, to an alcoholic, that is actually the most destructive advice that could be given. That one normally results in downward spiral to life being yet again unmanageable.

    The ONLY way to control gambling is to NOT GAMBLE.

    From your own admission, the title of your post is "Bye Gambling" so there is a part of you that knows, to be free is to not gamble at all. Addiction has many ways to try and convince you that it'll be OK to do it every now and then and have it under control. Eventually it will hurt you and the people around you.

    Just for today I will not gamble, one day at a time.

    Good luck with your journey,
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,468.02 Dec 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016 | £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 4th Sep 16, 9:10 AM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    • #9
    • 4th Sep 16, 9:10 AM
    • #9
    • 4th Sep 16, 9:10 AM
    Totally agree, I have stopped for a long time before and then blew a load of cash again.

    My last Bet was around a month ago and it was £3, since then I have decided I need to stop completely, I realise any winnings or any losses could cause me to fall back into the whole trap again.

    I have taken up a couple of hobbies and this helps a lot, I never even thought about gambling yesterday, as I was occupied all day.

    Also I have opened a second bank account for everyday funds, so I only have access to what I need every week.

    GA is not available in my area and the nearest meeting is around 50 miles away, it's not possible for me to get there on the day it is held either.

    I am sure I will stop now, I will keep an update here and I will be totally honest.

    As I said it was not just gambling, I used to waste money on anything online due to depression.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 4th Sep 16, 9:38 AM
    • 456 Posts
    • 1,079 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    I know obviously its not this simple but doing things you enjoy helps with everything and hopefully will keep you busy. Have you got someone you can go to the cinema with, for me this helps if I feel a bit out of control (i know not the same thing) and likely to waste hundreds on a handbag I definitely don't need or a holiday I will regret

    Doing something with someone else is good because it sort of brings you back into the real rational world and away from things that are harmful. If you are caught up in a film on the big screen and eating popcorn you cant gamble. Failing that if I am at home and have things online that are taking a lot of my money I run a bath or have a whisky.
    Not sure if this isn't very helpful. I think sometimes the pressure we put ourselves under leads us to not succeed so I hope you are being kind to yourself.
    Debt at June 2016 £14,600
    2017 pay off loan and first credit card
    Have less debt and be happier
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 4th Sep 16, 1:36 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    Yes, I have started to try different things, I would gamble or spend money when I was bored at home.

    I have also treated myself to some books, as I play a bit of guitar and I am looking to progress with this.

    I have also realised you should not put too much pressure on yourself to pay debt back so quickly. Clear your head and get your problems under control first, debt will soon go down.

    I am beginning to feel happier due to my progress.
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 5th Sep 16, 8:58 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    Hey Goku,

    Releasing pressure to pay it off quickly is something I have been struggling with. Making sure that the debt is manageable and you have enough to live is the most important factors. As long as the debts are getting cleared and not getting worse, then one day at a time, things will get better. As I am writing this, I am realising that it's probably more advice for myself, but if it helps you and anyone else, then that's great.

    Shame the GA meetings are so far away, you could try CA if there's one close to you, it's Cocaine anonymous, however they are more accepting of any addition, substance or behaviour.

    I have been suffering with depression too, and would gamble to try and escape the feelings, in reality al this did was make my situation worse and left me feeling more and more depressed. Now I finally understand when people say about spiralling out of control.

    I'm nearly 6 months off my last bet now, and the depression is improving considerably. I'm dealing with the issues that have been making me feel depressed, debts are going in the right direction, albeit slower than I had hoped, but any progress is good progress.

    I now live life one day at a time, and every day that I do not gamble is a bloody good day and I pat myself on the back. All of these pats on the back are adding up and day by day life is looking brighter.

    You only need 2 people to have a meeting, you could contact GA about starting a new meeting local to you, could be very powerful action, and could help others in your local area.

    All the best

    Chris
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,468.02 Dec 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016 | £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 13th Sep 16, 4:58 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    Hi Goku,

    How's it going?
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,468.02 Dec 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016 | £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    • Goku1000
    • By Goku1000 15th Sep 16, 8:45 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Goku1000
    hi, great thanks!

    Have been paying my debt down every week and my mood has improved so much since I quit gambling.

    Think I am finally starting to realise I am much happier without it. I never felt like this in the past, when I had stopped for long periods.

    Things are definitely improving, I have been so busy with other stuff and that seems to be key to my progress.

    hope you are doing well.
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 16th Sep 16, 12:54 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    Hi Goku,

    Great to hear you are doing well, stick with it, one day at a time.

    Hero
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,468.02 Dec 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016 | £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    • PositiveStep
    • By PositiveStep 14th Oct 16, 9:37 AM
    • 10 Posts
    • 13 Thanks
    PositiveStep
    Hi Goku,

    I hope everything is going well. I've just recently started my stopping gambling/getting rid of debt journey so will watch o your journey with interest.
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