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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,103Posts
    • 3,334Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 52
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 6:55 AM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I ended up having a busy day yesterday and spent hardly any time with my dd. I find there is always so much to do. I did a lot of work for my business , applied for a job, house work, house admin and with the sch pick up the day just goes! Applying for jobs is so time consuming. I am going to slow this down until dd goes to nursery as I want to treasure every moment with her before she is off in the education world.

    I had a big argument with my teenager , I can not stand the constant attitude. It is always us or the teachers in the wrong! I got a phone call from her teacher but of course according to my dd the teacher is wrong. I have taken away her electricals, which of course she did not like so answered back and then went to bed at 7pm because of course what else can a 16 year old do when she has 3 months left before her first gcse!!!

    On the money front, I feel like all I have been doing lately is spend , spend and spend! I have had to pay for ds school swimming and other sch trips which all came to over £100! We have birthdays this month, outings etc so does not feel any where as frugal as last month. I have been offered more work for next week which should bring approx £80 extra in March.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 07-02-2018 at 6:58 AM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 7:01 AM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    What is wrong with this site at the minute? If you put an apostrophe in a word a number comes up. Iíve noticed it with other diaries and it just happened to my above post. I had to go back and put the whole word or is shows as 8217 or something like that!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Sunkencosts
    • By Sunkencosts 7th Feb 18, 7:13 AM
    • 71 Posts
    • 80 Thanks
    Sunkencosts
    Good morning Debtagh - I have read your diary and am subscribing. I too have got high levels of debt and am in it for the long haul -I've also got family debt which they charge interest on! you've done so well in such a short time - good luck with the job hunt.
    Savings:
    Emergency 100/1000 Car 100/600 Christmas 100/1000 Holiday 100/600
    Grading 120/120
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 7:20 AM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks for reading and subscribing.

    My family had in the past mentioned interest but then felt guilty so currently donít charge us interest.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 7th Feb 18, 9:04 AM
    • 938 Posts
    • 4,293 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    What is wrong with this site at the minute? If you put an apostrophe in a word a number comes up. Iíve noticed it with other diaries and it just happened to my above post. I had to go back and put the whole word or is shows as 8217 or something like that!
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    I am having this too.
    Maybe it is an attempt to encourage us to use formal, standard English?
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 o/s £34,400
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2025
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 £124.36/£2,500
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 9:08 AM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I am having this too.
    Maybe it is an attempt to encourage us to use formal, standard English?
    Originally posted by wishingthemortgaheaway
    Maybe
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 7th Feb 18, 9:15 AM
    • 1,372 Posts
    • 7,851 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Hi Debtagh,

    I hope you manage to balance your books this month, you did so well in January . I would say think well before you accept all invitations as you have been doing .

    As for your DD my mum told me this saying ! The less you say the better it is!.I went through years of my daughter knowing better than me , then one day when she was about 18 she got up a different person. Went to university ( only geeks went to university) was her usual saying ! She now has a fantastic job , her own home, husband and children. It is a difficult period as she will be under pressure for her GCSE!!!8217;s . You just have to ride it out and deal with things appropriately.

    Have a good day.
    Jan 2018 CC1 £3099 CC2 £220

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 9:17 AM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think that is a fantastic saying and what I am going to have to do!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 3:34 PM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I am feeling completely demoralised and inadequate. I have been rejected for another job! I do not mention half the jobs I apply for on here but I have applied for lots and they are mostly minimum wage and in areas I have experience in and not the best hours but I can not even get these jobs!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 7th Feb 18, 3:39 PM
    • 1,372 Posts
    • 7,851 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Maybe you need to tweak your cv or need some advice on filling application forms in. I find they are like minefields these days.

    Do not; get despondent , maybe be more choosy about what you apply for.
    Jan 2018 CC1 £3099 CC2 £220

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Feb 18, 3:42 PM
    • 5,702 Posts
    • 11,260 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Some employers are incredibly shortsighted and it is so much easier to get another job when you are already working sadly. I know you have been self employed but employers unfortunately tend to disregard it so many will look at your cv to the last time you were employed. If that was a long time ago then they may just toss your application aside. Wrong but I know it is done.

    Minimum wage jobs are no easier to get than others really and sad as it is a lot of jobs are still gained through contacts or recommendation from somebody.

    Maybe some voluntary work will beef up your cv a bit or as you have mentioned before a training course. Can you contact your local job centre to see what they suggest?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 3:45 PM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Maybe you need to tweak your cv or need some advice on filling application forms in. I find they are like minefields these days.

    Do not; get despondent , maybe be more choosy about what you apply for.
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thanks. I have had a friend look at my cv and my dh has helped me with applications. I have been very choosy.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Feb 18, 3:49 PM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Some employers are incredibly shortsighted and it is so much easier to get another job when you are already working sadly. I know you have been self employed but employers unfortunately tend to disregard it so many will look at your cv to the last time you were employed. If that was a long time ago then they may just toss your application aside. Wrong but I know it is done.

    Minimum wage jobs are no easier to get than others really and sad as it is a lot of jobs are still gained through contacts or recommendation from somebody.

    Maybe some voluntary work will beef up your cv a bit or as you have mentioned before a training course. Can you contact your local job centre to see what they suggest?
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    I am also employed through the adhoc work I do. My plan is to do voluntary work once my youngest is at school.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Feb 18, 7:12 AM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I had another friend who is in a high up position look at my cv and they said it was fine. They helped me tweek a few minor things but thatís all. One thing I did notice was the fact that I def need some admin course on there as all courses I have been on relate to my other experiences.

    Money is feeling very tight at the minute.

    I am feeling a bit low again due to money and this job business, I had a bit of s melt down yesterday. I try and be positive but then constantly getting job rejections is hard especially when you feel low anyway.

    Here is to a frugal and hopefully positive day!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Feb 18, 9:55 AM
    • 5,702 Posts
    • 11,260 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Can you ask your local job Centre for any free courses or workshops on nursery days if your DD goes to nursery?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Feb 18, 10:01 AM
    • 5,702 Posts
    • 11,260 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    You are understandably despondent but try not to let it destroy your self confidence. You are a great mum, you have run a business and I think the debt worries and anxiety issues are bringing you down which will affect your mood. You need to address the debts which you are doing but try not to let it take over your life.

    The right job is waiting out there for you and it is just a case of being in the right place at the right time. Do not apply for everything, just the ones you actually can fit in your life right now.

    Google free courses or skills retraining courses in your area and see if you can do them without needing to pay for childcare.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 8th Feb 18, 10:17 AM
    • 1,429 Posts
    • 4,645 Thanks
    MrsSave
    It'll happen when the time is right.

    When I applied for the job I have now it was an admin/finance type job where I had little/no experience. The job advert mentioned spreadsheets and mail merge. I had a little knowledge of spreadsheets but no knowledge at all of mail merge. Using the internet, I taught myself all about mail merge and a few new spread sheet skills. During my interview I had to actually do a mail merge and needed to sort a spreadsheet in different ways. If I hadn't spent time teaching myself, I would have failed the 'test' and probably not got the job.

    I spent hours beforehand preparing. I spent ages on my cv. It was a lot of work, but definitely worth it. Have a good look at the job adverts for the ones you'd really like. Are they asking for things you don't have? Can you work on some skills, and at the same time add them to your cv stating that you're teaching yourself? Good luck, and it'll happen when the time is right.

    You're doing so well with your budgeting and debts, they're going the right way. There are so many ups and downs along the way, but you'll get there.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Finally debt free (other than the mortgage) - 05/02/18
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 8th Feb 18, 10:18 AM
    • 5,804 Posts
    • 21,546 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Learn Direct do free Business Administration courses, I used them a few (ahem) years ago as did the maths and English ones.

    They are really good.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6750.00 Cap 1: £456.79 BC: £8800.00
    AFD 3/14 NSD 3/14 LTW 6/14
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD £1194.42/£4000
    Savings for Christmas £60.84/£365
    20p Savers 2018 £2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Feb 18, 12:51 PM
    • 1,103 Posts
    • 3,334 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks for all your replies. I hadnít thought of the job centre for help. My dd doesnít go anywhere now. I will look into courses, someone sent me a link the other day which I have saved.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,325 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,317

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 8th Feb 18, 1:14 PM
    • 938 Posts
    • 4,293 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    Sometimes there are places that offer free childcare for courses. There is a charity run children!!!8217;s centre near me that has 6 free childcare spaces if you are attending a course in the building.
    They also run a job club.
    They put the laptops out in the room and you work on looking for, or applying for jobs while little one plays.
    I went to it a few times, I even used it whilst I was prepping for the interview I had for the job I!!!8217;ve now got.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400) 2018 Starts at 13/100 o/s £34,750.
    Jan 18 14/100 o/s £34,400
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029 Current mortgage free date: April 2025 March 2025
    MFW 2018 Challenge Member #162 £124.36/£2,500
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