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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,013Posts
    • 2,908Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 45
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Jan 18, 8:02 AM
    • 5,181 Posts
    • 9,856 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Enjoy your day off and look forward to updated signature.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 7th Jan 18, 8:28 AM
    • 1,094 Posts
    • 6,003 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Enjoy the free day .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 7th Jan 18, 9:38 AM
    • 5,564 Posts
    • 20,310 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Iíve also cleared the very balance!
    Originally posted by debtaghh


    Well done x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £6900.00 Cap 1: £467.97 BC: £6900.00

    AFD 4/14 NSD 9/17 LTW 10/17
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    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 6:47 AM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I managed to have a fairly relaxing day yesterday and it was my 3rd nsd. I got invited out to a coffee shop today but managed to get out of it and instead we are going to my friendís house. Iím anticipating another nsd, I do need to post a business item but I donít include that as the customer has paid for it.

    I have a long list of jobs for this week but am out this morning and then have family round so not sure how much will get done today.

    Have a lovely frugal day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Jan 18, 7:25 AM
    • 5,181 Posts
    • 9,856 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    You are getting quite proficient at getting out of coffee shop invites. Well done. Have a nice time with your friend. I have my 2 year old granddaughter to entertain today
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 7:27 AM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    You are getting quite proficient at getting out of coffee shop invites. Well done. Have a nice time with your friend. I have my 2 year old granddaughter to entertain today
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks, I donít even mention money I just try and offer another idea
    Good luck with your 2 year old granddaughter !
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 7:36 AM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I forgot to mention I spent a lot of time yesterday reading the Frugalwoods website , itís very inspiring. Iím really enjoying not spending money and today I want to write a list of free local activities and ideas for the summer holidays ( my dd will have 12 weeks off). Itís crazy that I have allocated a crazy extra amount of money for entertainment during the summer. I need to try cutting this down , even whilst we are away I need to rethink this and what nice dinners I can make while we are there.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Jan 18, 8:02 AM
    • 5,181 Posts
    • 9,856 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    There is always loads of free stuff you can enjoy and economical ways to entertain the kids. Planning for the summer is a good idea. Is your DD 16? She could get a summer job. Both mine did that after GCSEs and carried on right through A levels and University. I am convinced these first jobs are crucial to help kids understand the value of money and for getting the work ethic. My dad made me and my siblings do the same.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 8:28 AM
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    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Yes she will definitely be getting a job, I had one from the age of 14.

    I still would like extra holiday money but not sure how much I should aim for?
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Ruthy1604
    • By Ruthy1604 8th Jan 18, 9:30 AM
    • 527 Posts
    • 5,017 Thanks
    Ruthy1604
    Has your DD thought about signing up for NCS? Both my teens did it last year & I think it costs about £30 (Govt subsidised). Its a 4 week programme with 1 week at an activity centre, one week at University Halls and 2 weeks based at home but doing community activities.

    http://www.ncsyes.co.uk/
    My two had a really positive experience - met loads of new people, and lots of experiences to put on their CV.


    It'll cut down your food budget for 2 weeks out of the 12!
    10lb to lose & keep off in 2017 4.5lb/10lb
    Save 12K in 2017 Number 74 £9845/£30000
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 9:43 AM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I did mention it to her a while ago but she didnít seem that keen but will discuss with her again as my friend runs it locally and highly recommends it.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Jan 18, 12:59 PM
    • 5,181 Posts
    • 9,856 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Yes she will definitely be getting a job, I had one from the age of 14.

    I still would like extra holiday money but not sure how much I should aim for?
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    How much did you spend last summer?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 1:04 PM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I canít remember to be honest but think I wasnít as strict as I should have been!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Jan 18, 1:09 PM
    • 5,181 Posts
    • 9,856 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Do you not have a spending app tracker or spending diary? I have tracked our expenditure religiously for last few years approaching retirement and both my daughters do the same, one as she is soon to go on maternity leave and the other because she is single and trying to overpay her mortgage. Pen and pencil, spreadsheets, spending app tracker for the phone or clear checkbook (not a YNAB fan). Any of those will do the job. It is very enlightening.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 1:20 PM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have spreadsheets but then delete them once they have come out of the bank. I think I spent about £650
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Jan 18, 2:13 PM
    • 5,181 Posts
    • 9,856 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Why delete them when they are an excellent budgeting tool?

    If you track the money you spend on holidays, car, Christmas, entertainment, clothing etc over the year and divide by 12 then you know how much to put aside monthly to avoid it all coming up in the same few months. It is only really possible to stick in budget by doing this rather than stagger from month to month robbing Peter to pay Paul so to speak.

    Now I appreciate at the moment you are fire fighting with the Barclaycard minimums increase but eventually this should be your aim. Only by doing this will you survive without using credit. Know where every penny goes, have budget pots or accounts for everything and keep within the limits.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 2:26 PM
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    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I suppose Iím still learning but have started writing it down. This year so far I can tell you exactly what Iíve spent and on what.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 8th Jan 18, 2:33 PM
    • 397 Posts
    • 5,616 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    Finding free activities is good, make sure you keep checking as loads get added on nearer the time. We even do the same when we go and stay at the caravan. Parks/museums/galleries and things. Beach days/different areas/different friends coming over. We spend a lot of time in the garden too.

    Also even when I go on 'holiday' to the caravan I take my slowcooker. We eat the same as we do at home. Pack lunches/drinks/snacks etc. I refuse to spend on meals out unless its a special occasion. For me and the 3 kids eating out for lunch and dinner for one day would cover the whole weeks shop.

    We don't have an entertainment budget but during the holidays I allow for an ice cream or something.
    ďOnce you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.Ē
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Jan 18, 2:53 PM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think I have definitely changed my ways in the last month and my way of thinking. I donít have the desire to eat out as much etc
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Jan 18, 7:46 AM
    • 1,013 Posts
    • 2,908 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    What Iíve come to realise since starting the frugal challenge is how easy it is to spend money. Iíve today just said no to a toddler event Iíve been invited too, that would have cost approx £15, I also got invited to another toddler outing in a few weeks time which would have cost approx £10 that I have declined. Just on entertainment so far since the 1st Jan Iíve prob made a saving of approx £40 in a week! The best thing is I donít feel like Iíve missed out, I feel the complete opposite. Me and dd ( toddler) have still met friends so she has had fun. I allocated £50 entertainment money from the 20th Dec and have only spent £5 from it and itís only due to cover until the 19th Jan.

    One thing Iíve learnt from reading the Frugalwoods is that maybe I need to spend more on food and prioritise that , any ideas of what would be a reasonable amount for a family of 5? Including nappies and wipes?
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,505 , Family £ 36,922 total debt £83,497

    Frugal living challenge # 10- £8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
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