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    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 855Posts
    • 2,382Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 36
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Dec 17, 11:16 AM
    • 4,837 Posts
    • 9,136 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Things do change all the time so I am sure you will scrape it together from somewhere. I know this has all been a big shock for you but paying higher minimums will make the debt go down faster so in the long run this is better for you once you have adjusted your budget accordingly.
    2 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Dec 17, 5:44 PM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    So the good news is I’ve earnt an extra £20 more today than expected. The major negative is the dreaded letter from barclaycard ( my dh one) arrived meaning I have no clue how we will manage.
    Last edited by debtaghh; 06-12-2017 at 6:06 PM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 6th Dec 17, 6:55 PM
    • 889 Posts
    • 4,543 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    First off don't panic , do an SOA for yourself and see how things are . There are people on here who can advise you .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Dec 17, 8:37 PM
    • 4,837 Posts
    • 9,136 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Good suggestion there from CL to do another soa with your new frugal head on.
    2 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Dec 17, 9:26 PM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Iíve done a soa and we will be short at least £400 per month and thatís with me only allocating £220 for food for 5 of us. This is based on my husband not having overtime and me not earning anything. So hopefully it wonít be as bad but Iím not sure how realistic £220 on food will be? This needs to include all meals, snacks, toiletries etc
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 6th Dec 17, 9:33 PM
    • 889 Posts
    • 4,543 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Are you still paying a tutor for your daughter , and is your son still having swimming lessons ? Just thinking will these be coming to an end in the foreseeable future ? If they are that's at least £170 you will have extra .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Dec 17, 9:36 PM
    • 4,837 Posts
    • 9,136 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Is there anything else you can cut back on like birthdays, entertainment etc?

    What about the job for you which you mentioned a few days ago?

    £220 does sound low for 5 of you to cover everything.
    2 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Dec 17, 9:42 PM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Are you still paying a tutor for your daughter , and is your son still having swimming lessons ? Just thinking will these be coming to an end in the foreseeable future ? If they are that's at least £170 you will have extra .
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Is there anything else you can cut back on like birthdays, entertainment etc?

    What about the job for you which you mentioned a few days ago?

    £220 does sound low for 5 of you to cover everything.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Yes to the tutor and swimming but these have both been cut back. The tutoring will end soon which will def help ( we have a month off now for the tutor) , the swimming wonít go as my son has special needs and itís good for him.
    That shortfall is already including cutbacks but itís including £170 for entertainment, car, haircuts, clothing , sch lunches ( once a week my ds has a school dinner as a treat) and presents but these are none essentials.

    Iím not sure on the job front as I contacted my friend but this is what he does he messes me about, one min he seems keen and then he goes cold.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Dec 17, 6:25 AM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Iíve been thinking about our situation and I think all we can do is just see how things go. My money is up and down , we never know if dh will get overtime. We have no council tax in Feb and March which should help. I think the first 4-5 months will be the hardest but then the tutor will stop and we would have paid over £1k due to the high minimums meaning the minimum will be slightly lower, which all helps. In the new year I might ask my parents if they will let me not pay them for a couple of months ( Iím not sure how well this will go). For us to succeed we are going to have to be ridicoulsly tight.

    Have a good frugal day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 7th Dec 17, 6:31 AM
    • 889 Posts
    • 4,543 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I think that is the way to go at the minute , you are being very frugal so that helps. However don't become obsessed !
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Dec 17, 6:38 AM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think that is the way to go at the minute , you are being very frugal so that helps. However don't become obsessed !
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Itís funny you say that as being frugal can become addictive, Iíve always bought pampers nappies but yesterday I bought lidlís own as they are so much cheaper! This barclaycard issue has def made me rethink things and change my ways! Iím always cold and my dh is always hot but the other day he came home before me and put the heating on... I was mortified !
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Dec 17, 11:19 AM
    • 4,837 Posts
    • 9,136 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I think carrying on doing your best to economise and taking it one month at a time is the best you can do. As long as you are paying minimums and the debt is coming down it is going in the right direction.
    2 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Dec 17, 7:03 PM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Iíve had a bit of a funny day today and burst out crying once I got in from the school run. I think I needed a good cry. Have pulled myself together and am just going to try and be frugal and keep reminding myself it will hopefully financially get easier! Thanks for everyoneís support, I really do appreciate it and value your comments.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 8th Dec 17, 10:48 AM
    • 4,837 Posts
    • 9,136 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sorry you upset and hope you feel better this morning. Onwards and upwards as they say and it will get easier as you make the new adjustments. Do some nice free things for yourself to relax when you can like listening to music, watching a Christmas movie or going for a walk. Life cannot be all about debt busting.
    2 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Dec 17, 11:09 AM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Sorry you upset and hope you feel better this morning. Onwards and upwards as they say and it will get easier as you make the new adjustments. Do some nice free things for yourself to relax when you can like listening to music, watching a Christmas movie or going for a walk. Life cannot be all about debt busting.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks, I feel a bit better today and have sorted my spreadsheets out. Once all the transfers are complete it means everything is on 0% or low Apr rates for a while. The only one that isnít is the nuba which is 0% until Apr 18 with a balance of £1590... thatís going to be my focus. I feel more focused. I also had an assessment this morning for my mental health and am getting help so think/hope this will help.

    I do have plans from this eve and all weekend which will all involve money but itís all been allocated so as long as I stick to the budget, hopefully it will be ok!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 8th Dec 17, 11:23 AM
    • 4,429 Posts
    • 13,824 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Glad your feeling a bit brighter today and have managed to sit and look at finances. Try and have a nice weekend.xx
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."

    Debt free and saving for my future
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Dec 17, 10:41 PM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I was under budget at the Xmas fayre and my meal out. I confidently asked for tap water to save money.

    Dh and I had a chat earlier and realised that hopefully if all goes to plan and no nasty surprises come then after the first six months things should get easier financially. Itís going to be a long bumpy road and I think I will be known as Mrs tight/stingy/savy but if it gets me out of debt I donít care.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • wishingthemortgaheaway
    • By wishingthemortgaheaway 9th Dec 17, 12:08 AM
    • 641 Posts
    • 2,526 Thanks
    wishingthemortgaheaway
    The little bits really do add up and make a huge difference and breaking those 6 months down into smaller steps will really help.
    My friend works in the NHS and sees patients every 12 weeks. So, two cycles of that is very nearly 6 months. Break it down into little, manageable, achievable chunks.
    The 100 payment countdown (each payment = £400)
    2017 July : £36,800 8/100 Aug: £36,411.85 8/100 Sep: £35,945.66 10/100 Oct: £35,500 11/100
    Term Mortgage free date: October 2029
    Current mortgage free date: April 2025
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Dec 17, 7:29 AM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    The little bits really do add up and make a huge difference and breaking those 6 months down into smaller steps will really help.
    My friend works in the NHS and sees patients every 12 weeks. So, two cycles of that is very nearly 6 months. Break it down into little, manageable, achievable chunks.
    Originally posted by wishingthemortgaheaway
    Thanks, I will def be breaking it down into months. I agree that all the little bits do add up , itís taking me years to realise that! I used to think Iím in loads of debt whatís an extra fiver but if you think that every time....
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Dec 17, 7:38 AM
    • 855 Posts
    • 2,382 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Iím out all weekend but Iím going to put it here to help me stick to my budget! Today Iím hoping to spend no more than £15, I need to post my business items but wonít include the postage cost as thatís business related. Tomorrow Iím going to go food shopping with my £35 budget and am out for breakfast so am allocating £20 ( the whole fam is going but kids eat free).

    Iím hoping to have a nice weekend and fairly chilled without having to do many jobs as I feel pretty exhausted.

    Bonus about this weekend is we are eating at friends today and apart from the brekkie out, we are eating at a familiy memberís for lunch/ dinner tomorrow.

    Have a lovely frugal day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
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